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 Posted: Sun Mar 25, 2007 10:42 am
Btw, I'm going to try and finish the story tonight, so keep an eye out for the rest of the chapters at some point.
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Posted: Sun Mar 25, 2007 10:45 am
Seaphron ForsakenSwordsman Seaphron This story is deep, but that could just be me. Thanks, that's a really nice thing to say. It is so true though, it just seems like it is too me. Are you going to try and get this published? I mean isn't that a possibility? I'm not sure that it's good enough to be published, it's technically very short for a story, and I reckon there are a few mistakes here and there too. I would like to get something published mind, but I'm not sure that this paticular story is good enough.
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Posted: Sun Mar 25, 2007 10:47 am
Meta Fish ForsakenSwordsman Meta Fish No offense, but it's just getting a bit weird now, in my opinion. I liked how they may be going through an empty ancient, booby-trapped civilization, but now there are undead people that may be invincible in there, and they seem to love killing us? I don't know, it's just now what I was expecting, I guess. Still, it's fun to read, and it's very well written. It tore at my heartstrings when Christina died. It really, really did. No offense taken. It is getting more and more weird, I agree, but this is what I have had planned all along. The deaths are increasing, but I hope that each character had a fitting death that allowed the reader time to feel sad. Raui has been playing with the characters all along, mostly for his entertainment, the other people of his city don't really want to kill anyone, but they will if it means they can finally die themselves (eternal tornment and all that). TBH Raui is really the only genuinlly crazy one. I know it's not what you're expecting, and I did consider keeping a pace of traps and so on, but as a writer I think it is my job to bring you the unexpected. You, the reader, were becoming confortable with the whole "traps and riddles" thing, and so I deliberatley shook the entire story up, and turned the entire pacing and scenario around. By doing this, the reader would (hopefully) feel as shocked and confused as the characters themselves. Well, that's the idea anyways, I don't want you to be confortable, I want you to be on the edge of your seat, wanting more mrgreen . As for Christina Carol, it was sad, I agree. In all of my earlier plans, Fisher and Carol both lived, but her death was just the shock I needed to set up the events that would bring the entire story to a close. Let me just say, that Fisher will have his revenge, in a very fitting way. Anyways, sorry for the long post, but I always feel the need to justify my choices and such. Thanks for reading too (everyone), I can be a difficult writer to stick with, due to the way I write, but I have managed to get a few dedicated readers, and that means a lot to me. TBH, if no-one was reading, I wouldn't have finished the story. I know, I'm just saying. I know what you mean, it's just my reaction, as you took me out of my comfort zone. Nice new chapter, I can't wait to see how it wraps up. Well, I always welcome an honest and construtive opinion, so thanks for reading and being honest.
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Posted: Sun Mar 25, 2007 10:49 am
ForsakenSwordsman Seaphron ForsakenSwordsman Seaphron This story is deep, but that could just be me. Thanks, that's a really nice thing to say. It is so true though, it just seems like it is too me. Are you going to try and get this published? I mean isn't that a possibility? I'm not sure that it's good enough to be published, it's technically very short for a story, and I reckon there are a few mistakes here and there too. I would like to get something published mind, but I'm not sure that this particular story is good enough. I dunno, it is short but I would at least look into it. I think that it would work cause I know a bunch of people who like stories like this. When i am at school and I read a chapter my friend reads over my shoulder (he doesnt have an account) cause he thinks it's relaly good. You never know.
~looks at your previous post~ Yippee more of the story today!
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Posted: Sun Mar 25, 2007 10:52 am
Seaphron ForsakenSwordsman Seaphron ForsakenSwordsman Seaphron This story is deep, but that could just be me. Thanks, that's a really nice thing to say. It is so true though, it just seems like it is too me. Are you going to try and get this published? I mean isn't that a possibility? I'm not sure that it's good enough to be published, it's technically very short for a story, and I reckon there are a few mistakes here and there too. I would like to get something published mind, but I'm not sure that this particular story is good enough. I dunno, it is short but I would at least look into it. I think that it would work cause I know a bunch of people who like stories like this. When i am at school and I read a chapter my friend reads over my shoulder (he doesnt have an account) cause he thinks it's relaly good. You never know.
~looks at your previous post~ Yippee more of the story today! You're friend should get added to the subscribers list xd . Well, I suppose it might be worth looking into, perhaps I could publish a series of short stories or something.
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Posted: Sun Mar 25, 2007 10:53 am
surprised twisted Fisher went vengeful. UBER vengeful. 4laugh love the way he did it.
sad bye bye to the pretty Sapphire City though. smile it probably would've been really nice to be in had they not been fighting for their lives. xp
blaugh and the crazy maniac is gonna get owned. AWESOME
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Posted: Sun Mar 25, 2007 10:54 am
Koosei surprised twisted Fisher went vengeful. UBER vengeful. 4laugh love the way he did it. sad bye bye to the pretty Sapphire City though. smile it probably would've been really nice to be in had they not been fighting for their lives. xp blaugh and the crazy maniac is gonna get owned. AWESOME I still say Raui for Prime Minister
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Posted: Sun Mar 25, 2007 10:54 am
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Posted: Sun Mar 25, 2007 10:57 am
ForsakenSwordsman Seaphron ForsakenSwordsman Seaphron ForsakenSwordsman Seaphron This story is deep, but that could just be me. Thanks, that's a really nice thing to say. It is so true though, it just seems like it is too me. Are you going to try and get this published? I mean isn't that a possibility? I'm not sure that it's good enough to be published, it's technically very short for a story, and I reckon there are a few mistakes here and there too. I would like to get something published mind, but I'm not sure that this particular story is good enough. I dunno, it is short but I would at least look into it. I think that it would work cause I know a bunch of people who like stories like this. When i am at school and I read a chapter my friend reads over my shoulder (he doesnt have an account) cause he thinks it's relaly good. You never know.
~looks at your previous post~ Yippee more of the story today! You're friend should get added to the subscribers list xd . Well, I suppose it might be worth looking into, perhaps I could publish a series of short stories or something. His names Chris if you want XD That would be pretty sweet as long as you make sure they sell them in the US XD
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Posted: Sun Mar 25, 2007 10:58 am
Seaphron ForsakenSwordsman Seaphron ForsakenSwordsman Seaphron It is so true though, it just seems like it is too me. Are you going to try and get this published? I mean isn't that a possibility? I'm not sure that it's good enough to be published, it's technically very short for a story, and I reckon there are a few mistakes here and there too. I would like to get something published mind, but I'm not sure that this particular story is good enough. I dunno, it is short but I would at least look into it. I think that it would work cause I know a bunch of people who like stories like this. When i am at school and I read a chapter my friend reads over my shoulder (he doesnt have an account) cause he thinks it's relaly good. You never know.
~looks at your previous post~ Yippee more of the story today! You're friend should get added to the subscribers list xd . Well, I suppose it might be worth looking into, perhaps I could publish a series of short stories or something. His names Chris if you want XD That would be pretty sweet as long as you make sure they sell them in the US XD Canada too
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Posted: Sun Mar 25, 2007 10:58 am
Sauvie Koosei surprised twisted Fisher went vengeful. UBER vengeful. 4laugh love the way he did it. sad bye bye to the pretty Sapphire City though. smile it probably would've been really nice to be in had they not been fighting for their lives. xp blaugh and the crazy maniac is gonna get owned. AWESOME I still say Raui for Prime Minister I dunno. if I saw something like this in the bookstore, I'd be tempted to buy it. smile you should take this into a publisher and see what they think. 3nodding well .... edit up the grammar and what not with a fine tooth comb, but that'll just be prettying it up. xd it is pretty awesome though. 3nodding
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Posted: Sun Mar 25, 2007 11:01 am
Sauvie Seaphron ForsakenSwordsman Seaphron ForsakenSwordsman Seaphron It is so true though, it just seems like it is too me. Are you going to try and get this published? I mean isn't that a possibility? I'm not sure that it's good enough to be published, it's technically very short for a story, and I reckon there are a few mistakes here and there too. I would like to get something published mind, but I'm not sure that this particular story is good enough. I dunno, it is short but I would at least look into it. I think that it would work cause I know a bunch of people who like stories like this. When i am at school and I read a chapter my friend reads over my shoulder (he doesnt have an account) cause he thinks it's relaly good. You never know.
~looks at your previous post~ Yippee more of the story today! You're friend should get added to the subscribers list xd . Well, I suppose it might be worth looking into, perhaps I could publish a series of short stories or something. His names Chris if you want XD That would be pretty sweet as long as you make sure they sell them in the US XD Canada too
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Posted: Sun Mar 25, 2007 11:23 am
I wonder how this will all end, and who will live in the end. Did Tyler die? I seem to forget his death, but he hasn't been mentioned for a long time.
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Posted: Sun Mar 25, 2007 11:26 am
Meta Fish I wonder how this will all end, and who will live in the end. Did Tyler die? I seem to forget his death, but he hasn't been mentioned for a long time. He apparently "fell" down a pit. If Draken can "land" on a roof, then Tyler should have lived.
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Posted: Sun Mar 25, 2007 11:29 am
Meta Fish I wonder how this will all end, and who will live in the end. Did Tyler die? I seem to forget his death, but he hasn't been mentioned for a long time. Yeah, his death was a little quick. He saved Drakam, Fisher and Carol by pushing the coughing girl into a pit. Also: The next chapter will be up in a matter of seconds.
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