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| Got secrets? |
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 Posted: Tue Mar 16, 2010 2:51 am
i always find myself getting distracted, getting irritated and end up crying. i find myself stuffing everything to last minute, which is irritating. i find myself crying a lot, falling to sleep at twelve most of the time.
i don't know what's happening to me. stress and anger are overcoming me. i just feel like going away from this world, just floating in the midst of space...
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Posted: Tue Mar 16, 2010 4:16 am
I give up,i preferred being an emotionless human being
I only sugar coat things when im happy
I dont know how to cry in real life
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Posted: Tue Mar 16, 2010 9:13 am
I need a distraction. Badly.
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Posted: Tue Mar 16, 2010 12:15 pm
My therapist wants to talk to my parents today instead of me. Normally I'd be all like "Yay, I don't have to leave the house!", but for some reason I have a really, really bad feeling about this. And what's worse, normally when I have a bad feeling about something and don't know why, it turns out something bad happens that I didn't expect. crying So I'm terrified, and I don't even know of what.
And no, I can't relax and put it out of my mind. Nor do I really want to, because then it'll catch me completely by surprise instead of partially.
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Posted: Tue Mar 16, 2010 5:00 pm
I think I'm being impersonated. O.o
Also, secret: I get really jealous whenever two certain friendquaintances of mine mention that they text each other. It's usually only in passing, and there's no reason for me to feel that way anyway because I don't know them all that well...actually, one of them used to be a pretty good friend of mine...which I was going to put in parentheses but then realized it might be the source of the issue. I haven't talked to J in years, but it still bugs me to see her so close to C, who came around long after I'd left...and they're both nice people, they really are, but...not the type I'll ever be close friends with, at least nowhere near as close as they are with each other, because they're not the type to hang around brooding, paranoid, needy people like me except for the times when I'm willing to act perky and bouncy.
Story of my life. >.>
But...still. I guess maybe I just miss being closer to J and it hurts to see her like this with C...even though I really like C. sweatdrop But I'm jealous of how close C seems to J as well, not just vice versa. Augh...I hate being around them when they mention it, even though it's totally in the course of regular conversation (things like "yeah, she said she'd text me when she got home, so I'll let you guys know"), but there's really nothing I can do without being, well, absolutely pathetic.
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Posted: Tue Mar 16, 2010 7:41 pm
  I don't know why but I've been feeling completely seperated from everything online ._. and (no offense to the Pokemon threads and even though I could make my own but they'd be considered spam because I never have anything to talk about) I think it's gotten me not really talking much xp.
(this has mostly been driven by all the stress, depression and anger that's been around me at school as well.)
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Posted: Tue Mar 16, 2010 8:54 pm
I'm so stupid. I just want to feel close to him again without all the distrust and anger... and hate. But there's no way I'll ever be able to do that. Not after everything he's done to me/put me through.
I want to trust him, I want to be with him, but all he's ever going to do is break my heart. sfkfghldsga /emoemoemoemoemo
Being so in love with someone to the point that they could utterly destroy you with mere words is not good... at all... emo emo crying gonk emo
Where are the heroes when you honest-to-God need one? ._. *bashes head into the wall*
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Posted: Wed Mar 17, 2010 6:34 am
Maris Pallitax I'm so stupid. I just want to feel close to him again without all the distrust and anger... and hate. But there's no way I'll ever be able to do that. Not after everything he's done to me/put me through.
I want to trust him, I want to be with him, but all he's ever going to do is break my heart. sfkfghldsga /emoemoemoemoemo
Being so in love with someone to the point that they could utterly destroy you with mere words is not good... at all... emo emo crying gonk emo Where are the heroes when you honest-to-God need one? ._. *bashes head into the wall* D: /hug
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Posted: Wed Mar 17, 2010 12:03 pm
I woke up in this crazy rage this afternoon because I dreamed Cleo sold the zCB and someone made it a guild for math homework help. I was so pissed off I was actually shaking when I was going for my computer. I have NO IDEA where that came from. D:
Also, my boyfriend's doctor called him early and told him that he has stage 1 cirrhosis. I feel so much better now; stage 1 isn't terribly dangerous. He is not going to die or be life-threateningly ill, provided he takes care of himself and doesn't do things to make his cirrhosis worse. I can calm down now. *wipes sweat off her forehead*
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Posted: Wed Mar 17, 2010 12:30 pm
Maris Pallitax I'm so stupid. I just want to feel close to him again without all the distrust and anger... and hate. But there's no way I'll ever be able to do that. Not after everything he's done to me/put me through.
I want to trust him, I want to be with him, but all he's ever going to do is break my heart. sfkfghldsga /emoemoemoemoemo
Being so in love with someone to the point that they could utterly destroy you with mere words is not good... at all... emo emo crying gonk emo Where are the heroes when you honest-to-God need one? ._. *bashes head into the wall* *Hugs*
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Posted: Wed Mar 17, 2010 3:02 pm
I really enjoy being the first person to put a new toilet roll on the toilet roll holder. I think it might be connected to the smug satisfaction I get when I press the button at a pedestrian crossing. I made the cars stop. I allowed you to wipe your a**.
I know this didn't really need to be ninja white, but I felt like it.
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Posted: Wed Mar 17, 2010 3:47 pm
-hugs Mizu and Kam- emo <3333
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Posted: Thu Mar 18, 2010 8:54 am
We're not perfect, but it's a start.
Perhaps we all need a clean slate, a new beginning.
'Cause everything is never as it seems.
This be the end of emo Maris posts o3o; ima start putting down happy secrets 8d
/fluff, shoots self to make up for it
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Posted: Thu Mar 18, 2010 9:18 am
Not really a secret, but half of my face is numb right now. I got a filling done earlier this morning and the pain meds haven't worn off yet. I'm not looking forward to that happening. xD
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Posted: Thu Mar 18, 2010 9:26 am
I used to be afraid of toilets(for serious)
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