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Picking Up Stars Vice Captain
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 Posted: Tue Feb 07, 2006 10:18 am
Zahara was torn up pretty badly and she was upset, so upset she thought she might cry but that wasn't going to happen. She'd rather die than cry over that b*****d and what he'd done. So walking very gingerly she opened the door, "Yes Piper?" Trying to stay calm and not completely lose it. She knew she had food in her hair and stuck to her clothes and scrapes and cuts all over her body from different glasses and plates she'd hit or stepped on and some from Sevilin himself. She looked like a mess, certainly not able to entertain right now. "Can I do something for you?" Was that calm voice hers? She should be screaming and raging righ tnow, but she had a feeling if Piper showed concern sh emight break down and cry.
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Posted: Tue Feb 07, 2006 10:23 am
She hated it when drow did that, they all did that. Even Malik did that....okay so she did that sometimes but as Zahara pointed out she probably had some sort of drow complex. She took in the Drow's appearence for a moment and calculated the best way to say something in this situation. Hm, she was slightly out of her league again. "I just wanted to see if you were alright...what with all the noise from downstairs." A long awkward pause as she played with her collar. "Are you?" Okay so she fully expected to be either yelled at or a door slammed in her face.
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Fractured Moonlight Captain
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Posted: Tue Feb 07, 2006 10:43 am
"Forgiven. we just need to be ready."
Then back to the new guest.
"What's your name, where are you from, and what in Innoruuk's cauldron lead you to my front door?"
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Posted: Tue Feb 07, 2006 10:53 am
Zahara just stared at her for a moment and sighed. She stood back and motioned Piper in then shut the door behind her. "I don't know Piper. Everything hurts and I'm just so pissed off right now and I just want to scream. It's just so unfair." She sat down on the bed, wincing when her back shot a red hot pain through her body. "I'm so sick of men in general Piper, I'm beginning to think maybe Lloth was onto something with her ways."
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Picking Up Stars Vice Captain
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Fractured Moonlight Captain
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Posted: Tue Feb 07, 2006 11:00 am
Oh well that was nice and easy. Though he cleared his throat slightly as he went about taking his dagger and sliting open his wrist...over a bowl of course to catch blood, before he was scribing over on this own wounds. Had to get that poison. "That would be because of me as well...he kind of followed me." Though a chuckle. "Bet he's regretting that now."
Okay then. "So then scream. You gotta scream then scream...just warn me first so I cover my ears." For a moment she toed at the floor. "Come on now you can't say that...they're not all assholes all the time. They do have thier redeeming qualities..." She was standing up for men in general now...well this was a new thing. She thought about using Malik as example...but Zahara tended to hate hearing the name. "Just like we have our extremely bad days they have thiers..."
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Posted: Tue Feb 07, 2006 11:08 am
"Yeah well I'm sick and tired of them Piper. They don't ask me what I want, they don't care how I feel about something they just order me around. Malik didn't ask me to go train with Kimmuriel until you stepped in. He told me to. Just like he told me to learn from Sevilin. And Sevilin and I can't stand each other. We're goign to end up killing each other and I don't want to spend that much time with him but does Malik understand that? No. He doesn't care about my feelings or my wants, he just uses me and orders me around. I just get sick of it. I do have feelings, I know there are times when I can be a b***h, but there are times when I'm trying to be nice and it just doesn't matter. No matter what I do they will never respect me, they will never look at me as anythign more than an annoyance." Oh Lloth, she felt a drop on her hand and realized that the one thing she told herself seh wouldn't do, she was doing. "All I want is his respect. Both of them. Is that so much to ask for Piper? I can't earn it and I can't get it, what am I supposed to do?" Her voice sounded so weird and she just started to really cry.
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Picking Up Stars Vice Captain
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Fractured Moonlight Captain
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Posted: Tue Feb 07, 2006 11:17 am
Okay...now she was really out of depth. For all she knew and learned, both from general knowledge and from Malik...you never commented on a drow's tears...and dorw didn't cry that much either. So she was torn between her own instincts and then the ones that she was told to behave by. "Malik is like that with everyone...it's just who he is. He's never respected anyone but me." And well her parents but that was under teh me category. "It's not like you make it easy...you can't say that you respect him all the time. Malik is one who thinks he should just get it by force...he's never really earned anyone's respect, I don't think he knows how." A pause. "And Sevilin....well he's drow. He has to be near Malik in age for his power...and your both Lolthian...he's probably out of sorts as well. He doesn't want to respect you because maybe he thinks you'll never give him respect because of instincts or whatever it is." Gently she sat on the bed. Hm, advice? She'd follow her own on it. "If you want thier respect....stop trying to get it from them. Don't even try...I never tried. Sometimes the more you push for things, the farther away they get from you. I wish Malik could understand that concept, then he's get his own respect as well." A hand on the drow's shoulder that could be seen as comfort...she knew she was crying she just wasn't saying anything about it.
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Posted: Tue Feb 07, 2006 11:22 am
In a completely un-Drow like move Zahara sniffled and laid her head against Piper's shoulder. "I'm not his personal slave, Piper. He can't order me around and expect me to obey. And then, I dont know, I lost it. I went off on Sevilin and smacked him and that was a bad move. And what's worse is I had just spent almost an hour telling him that I wouldn't hit him. So now I'm a liar in his mind as well. Just an all around perfect day. I'm so out of my element here. I thought things were going to be different but ti's almost like I never left home. It shouldn't surprise me though, I'm still in the Underdark. Elves just don't change that much." She used the backs of her hands to wipe her eyes nad sighed, "I hurt so badly right now and once again someone has proven they are superior to me. I feel like I'm ramming my head against a stone wall over and over and over and I just can't break through it. It's not a fun feeling for me or my head."
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Picking Up Stars Vice Captain
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Fractured Moonlight Captain
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Posted: Tue Feb 07, 2006 11:38 am
A blink. We were going to show this proclaimed weakness? Okay with her and in due fashion, she put her arms around Zahara's shoulder in a hug gesture. "Sometimes the things he orders are in best interest...even if it doesn't come out that way. Malik...really doesn't know how to ask for anything. Some of the things he says to me are still in order form and I'm marrying the man." Though he had on occassion really and truly practically begged things of her. Not often. "You smacked him...Zahara, you're not in control of everything you do...then again no one is. You see him and your instincts as a drow female kick in...it's jsut something you've got to override. And do you ever think he really believed you? I mean totally." But a shake of her head. "You can't say that about the Underdark either...it's changed me a lot. I suppose I was a bit more...peppy...topside. Down here I'm subdued by knowing how dangerous the place is. How I can't always do what I want or even feel what I want to feel. But things change Zahara." It was storytime. "When me and Malik first went to Neriak, which is a Drow city, it was nothing but orders from him...and those around us only ordered me around, and I was expected to follow those as well. In public not a word was spoken to me with any feeling in it at all. Sometimes I did think I was his little surface pet. In private it was little better...he was just so paranoid there. I felt like I was facing that same wall you are now. Banging on it any harder doesn't help either. I mean...there would be times when he would push me away from him Zahara. So I stopped trying, I tried to make myself invisible to him and to everyone, I tried to make it seem like I really was nothing. I love him...and I thought that I would do anything to keep with him and that's why I did that. Eventually though...he couldn't stand the gap I was forcing between us...things got better...bearable at least, more personable." A shake of her head with a sigh...it was something she didn't like remembering. "What I'm saying is that...you're putting a gap there, you're doing it on purpose. You fortify your side of the wall just as he is even if you don't realize it. One of you has to give up before anyone will give in." Then she took to fixing the crying problem, moving a hand to wipe at Zahara's cheek. "And I don't like to cry in front of others either...but someone once told me it was okay...no matter who you're trying to hide it from, if they care they won't look badly on you for it." Thanks to Meilikki.
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Posted: Tue Feb 07, 2006 11:46 am
"I know that." Time for deep down truth, a bit of trust and a lot of digging down deep to express herself. "You're the only one I don't feel like I have to put a front on for Piper. I know ti doesn't matter what I do or don't do you'll never look at me like I'm weak or scoff at me and tell me that I"m pathetic. I know you've endured a lot of things but I think you know more about all this than any of us and I think I've come to you for more things than I've ever come to anyone in my entire life." She was quiet for a moment still leaning against Piper. It felt good to be able to lean on someone, it was something she'd never really been able to do before. At home no one shared problems and no one cried. She'd have been beaten wihtiin an inch of her life if she had shown vulnerability and cried because that meant wekaness and weakness meant death. "Maybe I should just give up...?"
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Picking Up Stars Vice Captain
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Fractured Moonlight Captain
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Posted: Tue Feb 07, 2006 11:54 am
A small smile. "I'm glad you feel that way around me...nice to know that not everone is hiding what they feel." Malik didn't do it often but he did sometimes. Though she had seen him cry once. Though here with this new bond of theres it was an impossibility. She felt everything he was and vice versa. "I did...and things changed. I know you don't want to and it'll feel like you're letting a part of yourself go...but it's what I've heard humans call a 'necessary evil'. Be the slave to Malik, be the weaker sex to Sevilin...you'll hate it...it'll make you sick to your stomach...but..." Piper was talking from personal experience here. The moment she had given into her role in Neriak she felt all of that. "...they may not like how you act...but they never know what's missing till it's gone. The fire, the spirit, the personal strength...when it's gone they know it is...and for some reason they hate that more than the fight you put up."
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Posted: Tue Feb 07, 2006 12:01 pm
It didn't make any sense to Zahara but if that was what she had to do, then she would. Piper was right that Zahara would hate every moment and it would make her sick to her stomach. She'd be disgusted with herself but if it would stop all the constant fighting and messes that seemed to get worse and worse every single day, then she would. A sigh, "I hate to say it but I think you're right Piper. And it's goign to take an awful lot to do that but I'm goign to try. Because I"m tired of knocking my head against the wall and getting nowhere. We'll see what happens." Zahara turned and wrapped her arms around Piper. "Thank you Piper. For everything. You've been there for me so many times and I know it's hard for you when Malik and I start fighting. But you endure and I"m grateful for that. We'll see what happens. Now, I know I look awful but if you wait about fifteen minutes, I'll get myself cleaned up and healed and hten we can go do whatever you want. Or we can just sit here and talk."
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Picking Up Stars Vice Captain
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Posted: Tue Feb 07, 2006 12:41 pm
He patted the creature on his front. "Best not to get stepped on, eh? I can relate."
And then he was adressed by the blue one, and hey still scared out of his mind but not out of his tounge. He waved. "I'm Din." He rubbed at the back of his neck. "Um...well...nothing really lead me 'cept for this drow here," a point to Sev. "And this guy," a point down to the ferret. "I was just lost see. Been kinda wondering around for quite some time. Back in the day things were easier to find."
"I'm just looked for some family." And regreting comming into this oplace, for sure. Freaked him out.
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Posted: Tue Feb 07, 2006 12:55 pm
"Okay, let me see if this works. you were lost, becuase somethings used to be easy to find and now aren't. then you followed of all people a drow, looking for family that obviously is non drow? that makes no sense whatsoever."
Reguarding him a moment.
"And why are you so covered in patchwork clothing? and since I'm in a semi-decent mood. do you even know your family name?"
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Posted: Tue Feb 07, 2006 12:58 pm
"Poeple have told me that my sense of logic is somewhat obsured."
He blinked and looked down at himself. "Ah well, you know...their just well worn and well loved. And I don't like people touching my skin. Gotta stay covered up."
He scratched at his forehead. "Family name?"
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