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Considering that the Galvan setting encompasses a number of different cities, how should we designate location?
Just let the roleplayers themselves mention where they are in post. People should be able to figure it out.
19%
 19%  [ 4 ]
Have everyone put their location in brackets at the top of each post, like this: [TTHQ]
76%
 76%  [ 16 ]
Have people color the text in their posts according to their location--for example, everyone in the TTHQ would post in purple.
4%
 4%  [ 1 ]
I have another idea that I'm going to share with one of the mods.
0%
 0%  [ 0 ]
I'm a poll whore.
0%
 0%  [ 0 ]
Total Votes : 21



Yoder


Invisible Phantom

10,775 Points
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  • Tycoon 200
PostPosted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 5:02 pm


Re-posted with necessary changes made. I also made some minor alterations (like his middle name's change).
((NOTE: Elaina (EKA) and Samuel (Yoder) are siblings.))

Quote:
Gaia Name: Yoder

Name: Samuel Argos Thanati

Age: 24

Alignment: Devia Corp
>He’s slightly paradigm as far as his nova philosophies go, but Devia‘s salary is worth going against his personal opinions.

Special Abilities:
>He bears the power to manipulate his bone, osteomancy. His power is only controlled from a live connection to his body, so all bone alterations must stay within or connect to his body. His powers of manipulation are only present in his arms and hands. His most basic power is compressing his bone, making is denser. This makes his bones less likely to fracture, but puts him at more risk for joint dislocation. While dense, any physical assaults will hurt more. The problem is that while the target is hurt more, so is the tissue between Sam’s bones and his target. He can keep any bone dense for about 1 hour. The more bones he keeps dense (the extension of a bone counting as an extra bone), the less time he can keep them dense. As he grows closer to his limit, his fatigue grows. If he reaches his limit, he will simply faint. If unconscious (from fatigue, being knocked out, or sleeping), his bones will retract automatically and cease being dense.

>The aspect of his abilities he most often utilizes is bone extension. He can extend any bone in his arms or hands to twice its length, taking about 10 seconds for full extension. In order for the bone to do so, it must rip through his flesh. While this causes extreme pain, he has the supplemental power of hypercoagulation (severing his brachials, femorals, carotid, jugular, aorta, or vena cava will result in him dying just like anyone else, but any other arteries and veins damaged will clot properly). It's basically the opposite of hemophilia in that injuries he receives bleed for a very short time (tissue repair is not hastened, only blood clotting). When his bone is extended, it must also be made denser to prevent it from cracking when attacking. Extended bone puts double the strain on his joints, which has already given him the beginning stages of acute degenerative arthritis (such that the joints in his arms and hands ache for several hours after his power have been used). However, While using his powers, his joints don’t hurt at all. He will usually extend his ulna and radius (forearm) forward, creating a tonfa-like weapon. The most common shape he uses when extending these bones (he can taper his extended bone to any degree he wishes) resembles the blade of a sword and the point of a spear (double-edged with a pointed tip). Thus, he can slash and stab an enemy effectively (the edges and point being as sharp as any sword or spear). For very close-range combat, he may instead extend all the bones in his hand forward, creating multiple-layered claws. When his bone is retracted (which takes only 5 seconds), he becomes extremely susceptible to infection and must be treated by a medical specialist (the wounds appear like deep slits). Because of this, he will leave his bone extended for a long time (his extended bone sealing/protecting the wound).

>While keeping his bone extended his hearing is mildly impaired (can‘t hear normal speech), while keeping bone dense his hearing is moderately impaired (can‘t hear a loud/animated/intense discussion), when in the act of extending or retracting bone or starting or stopping bone being dense, his hearing is severely impaired (can only hear higher than about 80 decibels). His power has left him with a permanent hearing disability in that he can’t hear sounds below about 20 decibels (whispering). Additionally, the longer his powers are being actively used, the more of a bloodlust he exhibits (almost to the point of insanity). Also, his powers cause him to tire very easily (keeping bone extended doesn‘t require constant use of powers, but keeping bone dense does). Finally, any use of his powers makes his pupils become white. They will remain white until his bone has retracted and returned to normal density.

>If a bone is broken along the extension (less than half of the total extended length), he can retract it (as it will return to the original length). However, if the entire extension or more snaps off (half of the total extended length or more), it can’t be retracted (as it is equal to or less than the original length). Any bone that has been broken off to any extent will regrow in anywhere from 2 days to 1 week. Until that time, that specific bone cannot be extended. If a bone is cracked, it will take 1 day to heal and cannot be extended until that time.

Codename: Sanguine

Nova Costume: He wears a solid black outfit, consisting of an untucked short-sleeved black button-down shirt, loose-fitting black cargo khakis (not sagging, just more leg room), and thickly-treaded black sneakers. On the front of his t-shirt, an angular letter “S” is scrawled in bright red. Various other details of his suit include a gray leather belt and a snug gray fedora with a black hatband. The final piece of his suit is a spacious maroon cape that is large enough to wrap around his entire body.

Regular Clothing: Due to his job in the field of Business Administration, he is most often found in a neat suit with an expensive blazer jacket. In leisure, he prefers jeans (shorts are fine if the weather requires) always accompanied by a long-sleeved polo shirt that’s about one size too big for him. He uses this to attempt to hide the scars on his arms and hands from the public. If he is ever to be in close or direct contact with others, he will don gloves (white formal gloves if in a business situation and black driving gloves if in a relaxed setting).

Physical Appearance: Having an olive complexion, Sam comes from a Mediterranean family. His black hair is kept neat and well-trimmed, and his face is clean-shaven. His irises are a basic brown. His jaw is well-defined, as are his cheek bones. His metabolism keeps him very slim, though he is physically fit as well. At a height of 5'8", Sam weighs around 160 pounds.

Sexual Orientation: Straight

Personality: He’s of the solemn sort, always logical and calculating the odds of any venture, whether in business or everyday life. He’s usually distrusting of the average acquaintance, which is the nature of the competitive world known as business. His sense of humor is somewhat dark. Always on guard, Sam knows well the changes to his disposition that will occur if the use of his powers is prolonged too much. Samuel also has to keep a conscious check on his anger, because his anger can kindle his bloodlust. If that happens, he loses complete control of his powers. Procrastination is a big pet-peeve of his, and leech-like people or suck-ups bug him too (since he’s had his fair share of both of them). He is delighted with punctuality and precision and always forgiving in the area of accuracy. Those with a lack of focus or motivation sadden him, but he chooses not to dwell on them. He’s never really been in a serious relationship, always being a little paranoid about someone close discovering that he is a nova and rejecting him for it (his scars are pretty dang obvious if he were to ever get intimate). For relaxation and a mental challenge, he enjoys facing someone in a strategic board game (chess, checkers, etc…).

History: My favorite food is candy! xp
>Sam grew up in a small town in upper New York, his parents having emigrated to America before his birth. His family was in the higher end of the middle class, his father works as a successful restaurant owner, having 3 thriving locations in the region. His mother is a homemaker and stay-at-home mother who helped her husband keep track of business finances. 4 years later, his parents had another child. Through involving themselves in community projects and affairs, the Thanati’s have become a respected family. In this entrepreneur-friendly environment, Sam grew to love the tactics of running a good business.

>Sam erupted at 14 in a macabre display in his room. His humerus, ulna, radius, carpals, metacarpals, and phalanges all extended spontaneously in both directions. The pain caused him to pass out only a few moments later. Waking up at the local hospital, his parents were consulting with a doctor outside his room door. His bone had retracted (and was retracted when his mother found him passed out and spattered with blood several minutes after he fainted). All that was left were large slits on either side of each of his joints. The pain was still immense, but soon the codine in his IV kicked in. Outside his room, the doctor and his parents were puzzled. Those kind of wounds is such specific points were such an anomaly. Naturally his parents were questioned but found innocent. The doctor was also puzzled by how little blood he had lost; Sam didn’t even need a transfusion. He was released a few days later. His parents were told to watch for infection, but none developed thanks to the skill of the surgeon in stitching the wounds properly. For a few years afterward, the same uncontrollable events would take place often and without warning. Each time, Sam’s pain resilience grew until the first time he didn’t faint when it happened. Since he was conscious, he could observe exactly what happens during these spontaneous events. From then on, he worked to attempt to control his powers. During high school his little sister, Elaina (played by EKA) developed nova abilities as well.

>By the time he finished high school, he had an adequate control of his powers. While studying for a BA degree in college, he would still have involuntary bone extension, but he could usually retract it right away (and it involved less bones than his first episodes). Towards the end of his 4-year university, Sam discovered that he could adjust the density of his bone by using his powers to compress it. After college he scored a fine job at a well-known business organization near NYC (and by then he had a firm grasp on the voluntary use of his powers). At 21 (the age when he graduated from college and got his first real vocational job), he heard about novas and Galvan for the first time. Before this time, Galvan wasn’t well known, and novas weren’t a widely discussed topic (but they had recently established schools in multiple locations). Intrigued, Samuel took all of his vacation time for the year and traveled to the original Galvan school, curious about their company and goals. On the way, he contacted them and set up an appointment with a representative of the Galvan Corporation. Galvan didn’t offer training to post-high school individuals, but Sam’s parents had found out about Galvan a few years previous and sent Laina there. So, Samuel visited with his sister for a time and returned the great job he had back at home near NYC (which was rich with advancement opportunities).

>Since, he has grown in the business to a position of relative authority. During the past year he has been remotely working for Devia (which he found out about while considering investing in nova-related stocks), a new company that deals with novas. While it was less focused on developing nova powers and more driven towards selling nova services and abilities, Sam couldn’t resist the amounts of money they were paying novas. Most of the work he does for Devia is done during the weekend and on any nights. Because of his position, he can work from home freely. He uses this to his advantage, allowing him to retain a normal job and express his nova status simultaneously.

>In a suitcase or at his residence, he always keeps arthritis medication close by. Additionally, he pops calcium tablets (fortified with Vitamin D, of course) on a regular basis, as it keeps his bones strong and healthy.

Sample Roleplay:
Quote:
Samuel, dressed in his usual career attire, was pacing behind his desk while holding a cellular phone up to his ear. The conversation was quiet and was mostly one-sided (as Sam spoke infrequently during the call).

The call came to an end and Sam sighed and repeated the basics of his instructions back to the Devia official, "Assignment: A-086. Target: #1377. Location: Paradise. Deadline: 1011~011110_bw, 0101 01111. Status: Accepted." He ended the call, closed his phone and slid it into his pocket. Sitting down in his designer office chair, he logged on to his computer. Nonchalantly performing routine job procedures, his mind was elsewhere.

"Great, one of the few days that I have to come in to the office, and I get a call from Devia. I don't want to miss this board meeting, because it could put me in good standing with the chairs of the company. Unfortunately, I wouldn't be able to attend it and complete my nova task. I guess I'll just have to skip out on the meeting," Samuel thought amidst numerous windows flashing past his habitual stare at the screen. Finishing his basic duties for the day, he grabbed his briefcase. Clocking out according to protocol, he slipped into the parking garage next to his company's building.

"Heh, I just made it out of there. The meeting will be starting in just a few minutes." He jumped in his car and threw his briefcase in the back. Starting the engine, he pulled out and drove towards the airport.

"Okay, so I've got to be in Los Angeles at 10 if I can hope to meet the 11:30 deadline. I've got a ticket waiting for me and the target is guaranteed to be alone. This should be a fairly routine cloak-and-dagger assassination. I'll be in and out before he can shout. Normally that'd be the case, but this is an A-086, not an A-085. I've got to get some information from him before the assassination and cover it up afterward. Ugh, they've been giving me quite a few of these recently." Sam drove into the airport lot and grabbed his suitcase, turning off the car.

Once inside, he went to the ticket counter and accosted an employee behind the desk, "Excuse me, is this where we pick up previously purchased or held tickets?"

The lady perkily replied, "Why, yes! If you have a ticket here, all you need do is state the flight number and the password you created online."

"Okay," Sam began, "I'm on Flight 492 leaving from Terminal C."

The lady typed it in efficiently and, seeing that the customer had stopped speaking, asked for the remaining information, "May I please have your password?"

Sam replied, "Sure, my password is: ''New." The lady behind the counter entered it into the computer and gave Samuel his ticket, wishing him a happy flight as he went towards Terminal C. Samuel came to the security metal detectors and put his briefcase of the conveyor. He passed through the magnetic field without incident just as his briefcase passed through the x-ray machine without problems. Grabbing it, he came to his gate. Sam arrived and stood in line (as Flight 492 was already boarding passengers).
PostPosted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 7:20 pm


Pansa
@Talon:
-You imply that he can make mild sounds (in the sonar bit) am I misreading that? Is he actually making the sound or is something else making the sound and he's then taking it and using it? I.E. Can his vocal cords make a bat squeak?
-I don't like that you're not giving his projection, amplification or nullification powers a drawback. They should have one. He should only be able to project so much -- even in a noisy environment -- before he stops being able to, or faints or something, same with the others. Sent you a PM about a bit of this.


Okay . . . *cracks his knuckles*
- I tried to clear up the sonar a bit. Any sound will do, as it is not an ingrained ability. Octave just works with sound and is familiar with how it works. As such, he can get a feel for the size of the room by echos. No bat squeaking unless he does an imitation of one.

- I had assumed that they would be similar to storage. The same (newly posted) description could be applied to that. Immediate projection of any energy is a simple redirection and allows for a lot more leeway, but I just added in limits to storage that can be applied to null, amp/dampen, as well as storage ability of sound. this includes a fairly extensive explanation of effects and time required to recooperate.

Magni Prime
Captain

Eloquent Conversationalist

14,950 Points
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  • Foolhardy Benefactor 500
  • Supreme Supporter 500

Electric Kool-Aid

PostPosted: Thu Jun 21, 2007 10:20 pm


Edit Numero Dos
Gaia Name:Electric Kool-Aid
Name:Elaina ("Laina" to her family) Cybil Thanati
Age:20
Alignment:Team Tomorrow
Special Abilities: Elaina's mutation allows her to perform painless (this has been there since the beginning...did you miss it?)dislocation of almost all of her joints. She is limited by her muscular structure, organ location, and joint location. For instance, she can't compress her rib cage (there are no joints in the sides and it'd endanger her heart), and if she dislocates her elbow, dislocating her fingers and wrists would be much more difficult because it is harder to control the motion of dislocated joints.(this also has been there, do you not understand it?) However is she starts with her fingers and works up the arm it is possible. This gives her increased flexibility and contortion, which in turn can let her get into small and awkward spaces.

Joints are composed of two (or more bones), cartilage which reduces friction between bones, synovial membranes (also for lubrication), ligaments and tendons. Ligaments surround joints and to support it and limit its motion. They are flexible and strong. Elaina's ligaments are naturally stretchier than the average humans. In normal humans, joint dislocation always damages ligaments. Elaina's ligaments are more flexible and thus stretch more easily as opposed to becoming strained. Ligaments also support the joint, in Elaina's case, even when it is out of socket. This puts extra strain on the cartilage but allows her to maintain some structure and motion, although it is limited. While out of joint, motion is somewhat impaired, and as a rule of thumb, she tries to always keep one had complete, to be able to fully realign the joints she does dislocate. Because her ligaments are more flexible, even if someone else forces a joint out of place it would not be painful for her, unless it is done in such a way that the bones grind (for example popping a finger out and then trying to force it into the wrong place).

Due to the shape of vertebrae, spinal dislocation is much more difficult. Vertebrae are much more likely to interlock as opposed to slip past one another. Elaina is able to dislocate her back, although it is very hazardous to her well-being, as many important nerves (particularly those related to reflexes) travel through the spinal column. Elaina has found that through training the human body is naturally flexible enough that it is not worth risking extreme permanent damage to her nervous system. This kind of belongs to the idea that just because a door is open doesn't mean you should go through it.

Prolonged periods of dislocation result in inflammation especially of the cartilage. She is more susceptible to long term damage while her joints are out of place. Although it has yet to occur, it is assumed that if broken, her bones would knit the same as a regular humans, so she'd need surgery or a cast. Elaina's bones have no set recovery period, but she is prone to repetitive stress injuries and inflammation the more often she performs dislocations.
Codename:Askew
Costume: Because of the nature of her ability, her costume is similar to skiing GS suits, or unitards (like a full body leotard). This allows her to use the full extent of her flexibility. Her costume is patterned in red and blue for Team Tomorrow colors, but bears resemblance to Harlequin patterning, being comprised mostly of adjacent diamonds of alternating color. The Team Tomorrow logo is found on the upper right hand shoulder. Flexible boning runs throughout the lycra, to help support her dislocated joints, and prevent her from being floppy. She wears flat shoes, with very flexible soles, but will remove them depending on the job.
Appearance:Elaina has the build of a gymnast, mostly because her ability requires her to maintain that body type. She keeps her black hair very short (about an inch long) because it's a pain to be in small areas and suffocate on your own hair. Her hair is very curly due to her Greek heritage. She has gentle brown eyes in an olive toned face, which is complimented by sharp features like those you typically see on pixies in old picture books. Her vision is not the best and so Elaina wears thin framed, rectangular glasses most of the time, and occasionally contacts. Elaina is also almost embarrassingly slight of frame, this fact combined with her short hair have resulted in a very androgynous look, much to her chagrin. When in public, as it'd be a bit strange to walk around in a GS suit all the time, she dresses for comfort as opposed to style. She is at home in a t-shirt and jeans, and frequently wears some of Samuel's old clothing, even though some of it has hole in strange places.
Sexual Orientation:Heterosexual
Personality:Elaina is optimistic nearly to the point of naivety. She seeks to find the best in people, and rarely expects that someone would try to do her harm. She feels sad when she sees nova's abusing their abilities, viewing herself as an adapted human rather than a separate species. She worries about Sam working for Devia Corp. but has faith that he'll make the right choices. She gets frustrated easily and hates to feel like she isn't useful. She doesn't usually get really angry, but if she does, she generally stops speaking and regresses into herself. When she's happy, her wit is fast and she has a strange sarcastic sense of humor, compared to the rest of her very open and gentle demeanor. She is fairly submissive and takes criticism easily. Elaina is soft spoken and almost rabbit like in that she can be skittish and shy around new people, but once she gets to know someone she gives them complete trust. She can be almost painfully shy around new people, and it takes her awhile to open up. She lets others take the lead in almost all aspects of her life.
History:Elaina's mutation came to fruition when she was fifteen, five years after Samuel's first displays. Her transformation was not as traumatic as Sam's: she was not hospitalized, and her parents were more relaxed and prepared.

It happened by accident at first, she'd been sliding down the banister of her family's suburban home when she lost her balance and tumbled unceremoniously down the stairs. Her mother, hearing her shout of surprise, had found Elaina in a contorted heap at the base of the stairs. Elaina was in no serious pain and was in the process of getting up and dusting herself off when she realized that her left shoulder didn't feel quite right.

"Laina! Doesn't that hurt?!" her mother had asked in a quiet horrified voice, pointing a shaking finger at Elaina's shoulder. Elaina shrugged her shoulders. One shoulder rather, as her left one remained stationary. Her mother gave her a strange look and helped her press the bones back into place. "That would've made a grown man cry like a baby..." her mother had whispered to herself. Elaina felt a little sick to her stomach and completely forgot why she'd come downstairs.

Shivering a bit, she returned to her room, sitting on the bed and hugging her knees. Her mind flashed to when she was ten, hearing Sam scream, she remembered blood, and sirens, and later scars. She took a deep breath, closed her eyes and experimentally stretched her forefinger out and backwards. There was a soft "pop!" and her finger and when she opened her eyes the finger jutted out from her hand at a sickening angle.

Fighting down the urge to scream, Elaina used her other hand to realign the bones, before curling up in a ball on the bed. She expected that at any moment, her internal structure would revolt and explode from her body like Sam's had.

When she'd calmed down a bit, she called Sam at his college. It was then (during a very long conversation) that she learned about Galvan and realized that it was unlikely for her body to react like Sam's had.

After a discussion with her parent, Elaina was enrolled in the Galvan Academy, where with training she began to understand her ability and better control it. After graduating she joined Team Tomorrow, hoping to show that novas can be useful, despite the few bad apples. She sees Admon as a sickly misguided man, who misinterpreted the teachings of Galvan. In light of the events involving the persecution of nova's in NYC, Elaina became embarrassed of her abilities, and sought to hide them from new people she met, hoping to live as much as a normal human as possible, while still supporting the Galvan Academy.

She is in her sophomore year of college now, and works at her father's restaurant as a waitress.

Sample Roleplay:
Quote:
Elaina made her way down the white carpeted stairs to the equally white foyer. She glanced down at her digital watch, silently flashing 6:02. She reached for the doorknob, but before she could turn it, she heard a bustling from the kitchen. Pots being moved, a pan set on the stove, and a voice.

"Laina! You have not eaten yet!" Her mother came rushing from the kitchen.

"I know Ma, I was going to make eggs at work." Elaina said in a half whine.

"Why wait? You are too skinny." her mother put in simply.

Elaina sighed. There was no way out of it. It was either eat now, or make the subway ride weighted with guilt, and besides, her mother really was a marvelous cook. She nodded and took her hand of the doorknob. Tension dissipated from the air as though her hand had been on the trigger of a gun and now she put the safety back on.

"Right Ma. What's for breakfast?" she said in a conciliatory tone. "I am late you know." she added as a last ditch effort.

Her mother's face broke into a huge smile. "Nice try."

Half an hour later, sitting in the rocking air conditioned comfort of the subway train, Elaina thought her stomach might burst. She hadn't realized that (if forced) she could eat four eggs, potatoes, toast and bacon all in one sitting. She made a mental note: Don't eat lunch.

She got off the subway a block from the restaurant. Elaina checked her watch again. 6:47. Grimacing, she walked briskly over the next block to the restaurant. Pulling on the door, it was already unlocked. the lights were on too. She hurried through the door.
"Hi! I'm here! Sorry I'm late!" she called as she took her coat off.

"Elaina, where have you been!?" her father's voice materialized from the little office.

"Blame your wife." she said simply as she pulled an apron over her clothing.

"My fry cook called in sick. Do you mind Laina?"

"That'll be fine, but I have a class at 10:30." she answered, moving through the swinging doors to the kitchen. (my favorite movie is Easy Rider...i think)

what else do you want for personality...? >.<
PostPosted: Fri Jun 22, 2007 2:40 pm


@Yoder:
-Okay. What exactly do you mean by bloodlust? Details on that. And I'm not thrilled about it.
-Again with the bloodlust, I'm liking it less and less. On it's own, the way I'm perceiving it, bloodlust could be it's very own power...So tell me more about it.
-If you could work a bit more on his personality as well -- as it's choppy and lacking -- that'd be wonderful.
-As soon as Galvan came out it was well known. And Nova's, when they first came out, were very widely discussed. Ergo the history is still not accurate. And Galvan does offer training to post-high school Nova without requiring them to work for them or anything else. They'll offer it to college graduates as well.
-Devia isn't a new company and they don't just 'deal' with Nova. They've been around for a while.

@Talon:
^.^ Huzzah. Moving it over. 'Cepted.

@EKA:
- Is it painful? If it's not painful for her to do, would someone else forcing a dislocation on her hurt? Can she dislocate her fingers after he elbow, does it take longer or what?
-Does she have shoes with the costume or wear anything else other then the uni?
-More personality please!
-More feelings reactions to current events in the history.

^.^

Pansa


Electric Kool-Aid

PostPosted: Sat Jun 23, 2007 7:03 am


Edit Numero Dos
Gaia Name:Electric Kool-Aid
Name:Elaina ("Laina" to her family) Cybil Thanati
Age:20
Alignment:Team Tomorrow
Special Abilities: Elaina's mutation allows her to perform painless (this has been there since the beginning...did you miss it?)dislocation of almost all of her joints. She is limited by her muscular structure, organ location, and joint location. For instance, she can't compress her rib cage (there are no joints in the sides and it'd endanger her heart), and if she dislocates her elbow, dislocating her fingers and wrists would be much more difficult because it is harder to control the motion of dislocated joints.(this also has been there, do you not understand it?) However is she starts with her fingers and works up the arm it is possible. This gives her increased flexibility and contortion, which in turn can let her get into small and awkward spaces.

Joints are composed of two (or more bones), cartilage which reduces friction between bones, synovial membranes (also for lubrication), ligaments and tendons. Ligaments surround joints and to support it and limit its motion. They are flexible and strong. Elaina's ligaments are naturally stretchier than the average humans. In normal humans, joint dislocation always damages ligaments. Elaina's ligaments are more flexible and thus stretch more easily as opposed to becoming strained. Ligaments also support the joint, in Elaina's case, even when it is out of socket. This puts extra strain on the cartilage but allows her to maintain some structure and motion, although it is limited. While out of joint, motion is somewhat impaired, and as a rule of thumb, she tries to always keep one had complete, to be able to fully realign the joints she does dislocate. Because her ligaments are more flexible, even if someone else forces a joint out of place it would not be painful for her, unless it is done in such a way that the bones grind (for example popping a finger out and then trying to force it into the wrong place).

Due to the shape of vertebrae, spinal dislocation is much more difficult. Vertebrae are much more likely to interlock as opposed to slip past one another. Elaina is able to dislocate her back, although it is very hazardous to her well-being, as many important nerves (particularly those related to reflexes) travel through the spinal column. Elaina has found that through training the human body is naturally flexible enough that it is not worth risking extreme permanent damage to her nervous system. This kind of belongs to the idea that just because a door is open doesn't mean you should go through it.

Prolonged periods of dislocation result in inflammation especially of the cartilage. She is more susceptible to long term damage while her joints are out of place. Although it has yet to occur, it is assumed that if broken, her bones would knit the same as a regular humans, so she'd need surgery or a cast. Elaina's bones have no set recovery period, but she is prone to repetitive stress injuries and inflammation the more often she performs dislocations.
Codename:Askew
Costume: Because of the nature of her ability, her costume is similar to skiing GS suits, or unitards (like a full body leotard). This allows her to use the full extent of her flexibility. Her costume is patterned in red and blue for Team Tomorrow colors, but bears resemblance to Harlequin patterning, being comprised mostly of adjacent diamonds of alternating color. The Team Tomorrow logo is found on the upper right hand shoulder. Flexible boning runs throughout the lycra, to help support her dislocated joints, and prevent her from being floppy. She wears flat shoes, with very flexible soles, but will remove them depending on the job.
Appearance:Elaina has the build of a gymnast, mostly because her ability requires her to maintain that body type. She keeps her black hair very short (about an inch long) because it's a pain to be in small areas and suffocate on your own hair. Her hair is very curly due to her Greek heritage. She has gentle brown eyes in an olive toned face, which is complimented by sharp features like those you typically see on pixies in old picture books. Her vision is not the best and so Elaina wears thin framed, rectangular glasses most of the time, and occasionally contacts. Elaina is also almost embarrassingly slight of frame, this fact combined with her short hair have resulted in a very androgynous look, much to her chagrin. When in public, as it'd be a bit strange to walk around in a GS suit all the time, she dresses for comfort as opposed to style. She is at home in a t-shirt and jeans, and frequently wears some of Samuel's old clothing, even though some of it has hole in strange places.
Sexual Orientation:Heterosexual
Personality:Elaina is optimistic nearly to the point of naivety. She seeks to find the best in people, and rarely expects that someone would try to do her harm. She feels sad when she sees nova's abusing their abilities, viewing herself as an adapted human rather than a separate species. She worries about Sam working for Devia Corp. but has faith that he'll make the right choices. She gets frustrated easily and hates to feel like she isn't useful. She doesn't usually get really angry, but if she does, she generally stops speaking and regresses into herself. When she's happy, her wit is fast and she has a strange sarcastic sense of humor, compared to the rest of her very open and gentle demeanor. She is fairly submissive and takes criticism easily. Elaina is soft spoken and almost rabbit like in that she can be skittish and shy around new people, but once she gets to know someone she gives them complete trust. She can be almost painfully shy around new people, and it takes her awhile to open up. She lets others take the lead in almost all aspects of her life.
History:Elaina's mutation came to fruition when she was fifteen, five years after Samuel's first displays. Her transformation was not as traumatic as Sam's: she was not hospitalized, and her parents were more relaxed and prepared.

It happened by accident at first, she'd been sliding down the banister of her family's suburban home when she lost her balance and tumbled unceremoniously down the stairs. Her mother, hearing her shout of surprise, had found Elaina in a contorted heap at the base of the stairs. Elaina was in no serious pain and was in the process of getting up and dusting herself off when she realized that her left shoulder didn't feel quite right.

"Laina! Doesn't that hurt?!" her mother had asked in a quiet horrified voice, pointing a shaking finger at Elaina's shoulder. Elaina shrugged her shoulders. One shoulder rather, as her left one remained stationary. Her mother gave her a strange look and helped her press the bones back into place. "That would've made a grown man cry like a baby..." her mother had whispered to herself. Elaina felt a little sick to her stomach and completely forgot why she'd come downstairs.

Shivering a bit, she returned to her room, sitting on the bed and hugging her knees. Her mind flashed to when she was ten, hearing Sam scream, she remembered blood, and sirens, and later scars. She took a deep breath, closed her eyes and experimentally stretched her forefinger out and backwards. There was a soft "pop!" and her finger and when she opened her eyes the finger jutted out from her hand at a sickening angle.

Fighting down the urge to scream, Elaina used her other hand to realign the bones, before curling up in a ball on the bed. She expected that at any moment, her internal structure would revolt and explode from her body like Sam's had.

When she'd calmed down a bit, she called Sam at his college. It was then (during a very long conversation) that she learned about Galvan and realized that it was unlikely for her body to react like Sam's had.

After a discussion with her parent, Elaina was enrolled in the Galvan Academy, where with training she began to understand her ability and better control it. After graduating she joined Team Tomorrow, hoping to show that novas can be useful, despite the few bad apples. She sees Admon as a sickly misguided man, who misinterpreted the teachings of Galvan. In light of the events involving the persecution of nova's in NYC, Elaina became embarrassed of her abilities, and sought to hide them from new people she met, hoping to live as much as a normal human as possible, while still supporting the Galvan Academy.

She is in her sophomore year of college now, and works at her father's restaurant as a waitress.

Sample Roleplay:
Quote:
Elaina made her way down the white carpeted stairs to the equally white foyer. She glanced down at her digital watch, silently flashing 6:02. She reached for the doorknob, but before she could turn it, she heard a bustling from the kitchen. Pots being moved, a pan set on the stove, and a voice.

"Laina! You have not eaten yet!" Her mother came rushing from the kitchen.

"I know Ma, I was going to make eggs at work." Elaina said in a half whine.

"Why wait? You are too skinny." her mother put in simply.

Elaina sighed. There was no way out of it. It was either eat now, or make the subway ride weighted with guilt, and besides, her mother really was a marvelous cook. She nodded and took her hand off the doorknob. Tension dissipated from the air as though her hand had been on the trigger of a gun and she had suddenly replaced the safety catch.

"Right Ma. What's for breakfast?" she said in a conciliatory tone. "I am late you know." she added as a last ditch effort.

Her mother's face broke into a huge smile. "Nice try."

Half an hour later, sitting in the rocking air conditioned comfort of the subway train, Elaina thought her stomach might burst. She hadn't realized that (if forced) she could eat four eggs, potatoes, toast and bacon all in one sitting. She made a mental note: Don't eat lunch.

She got off the subway a block from the restaurant. Elaina checked her watch again. 6:47. Grimacing, she walked briskly over the next block to the restaurant. Pulling on the door, it was already unlocked, the lights were on too. She hurried through the door.
"Hi! I'm here! Sorry I'm late!" she called as she took her coat off.

"Elaina, where have you been!?" her father's voice materialized from the little office.

"Blame your wife." she said simply as she pulled an apron over her clothing.

"My fry cook called in sick. Do you mind Laina?"

"That'll be fine, but I have a class at 10:30." she answered, moving through the swinging doors to the kitchen. (my favorite movie is Easy Rider...i think)

what else do you want for personality...? >.<
PostPosted: Sat Jun 23, 2007 3:38 pm


Gaia Name: DarkScarlettVixen
Name: Angolina Chupaflor Castillo (Angel)
Age: 22
Alignment: Team Tomorrow
Special Abilities: Control and of glass or anything crystalline. Glass or crystal under her control can become as hard as metal or as soft as putty. She can manipulate glass into any shape she desires without heating it. Her hands can also withstand intense heat without protection.
Codename: Diadem
Costume: Keeping it simple with a stretchy black short sleeved shirt and black cargo pants. In the side pockets she keeps large pieces of crystal for use in the field. Her shoes are also black and comfortable, very good for sneaking about. When necessary, she is able to create crystal gauntlets for getting rid of obstcles or slicing into something (or someone).
Appearance: Angel is half african american, half hispanic ( her middle name means "hummingbird" in Spanish). Her skin is as dark with coppery undertones. Her hair is dark, straight and quite thick, falling just past her shoulders. Her eyes are almond shaped and slightly slanted upward at the outside corners and are very dark brown. Her nose isn't as broad as her mother's nor as slim as her fathers, falling somehwere in the middle. She has full lips like her mother, though. She has an athletic build, getting her height from her mother's side of the family.
Sexual Orientation: As far as she is concerned she doesn't need guys and is a bit of a tom boy when it comes to them. Boys are buddies, not love interests...neither are girls. That's not to say that she'll never have a crush, she just hasn't met the right guy.
Personality: Angel likes being busy, she likes being productive and she likes helping people. When she has nothing to do she gets antsy, irritable, snappish, and starts pacing like some kind of caged beast. The same reaction occurs when she feels useless or hasn't eaten. For the most part she works with people well if they don't rub her the wrong way, would rather not lead any kind of operation but isn't afraid to speak up or give suggestions to whoever is charge.
History: Angel was born to a father, Lorenzo Castillo and her mother Tanzania Wright. Her father is of Hispanic and Italian decent who was disgraced and cast out of his family after testifying against his cousin who murdered his aunt, his mother. He fled Mexico, changing his identity with the help of the police to Italy where he studied glass blowing and sculpturing in Moreno. After becoming a Master he moved to America. There he met his wife; a spirited African American woman who had just finished nursing school and had started working in the local hospital. Lorenzo’s glass sculptor business did very well and soon, and Tanzania was doing pretty good herself as well as money went and they were able to live comfortably in a middle class neighborhood. Angel grew up in a relatively safe environment, went to a public school but with her father’s history which he kept secret from his daughter but not his wife, he taught Angel how to defend herself, including a few dirty tricks just in case.

Angel became interested in her father’s shop when she was five years of age and when she had finished her homework and chores she’d hang out in her father’s shop. She made this a regular practice for a year before he started giving her little tasks to do. As she got older, his tasks grew more complicated. He was patient and thrilled that his daughter was showing an interest in his occupation already dreaming of handing it over to her once he was done. At twelve years of age with much begging and goading, Lorenzo finally taught his daughter how to blow glass. He was amazed at how quickly she picked it up and soon grew confident with leaving her to blow her own globes by herself but always with him in the shop. A year later, in order to impress her father, Angel attempted to blow a globe while her father was away. Something went wrong, however and white hot globe exploded, sending scalding hot shards of glass at Angel’s face. She flinched away, throwing her hands to her face instinctively. When nothing struck her face she was amazed to find the glowing shards of glass floating in the air inches from her face.

With this new discovery, Angel began experimenting with her new talent in private. Her father found out two years later when she was fifteen. He walked in on her when she was manipulating a glowing globe of glass into the shape of a horse without even touching it. Lorenzo was more shocked by this discovery than his wife, whose grandmother was known for having some uncanny ability though no one in the family was able to catch her in the act. At sixteen years of age, Angel has a pretty firm grasp of her powers. Her father discovered Galvan by accident while at the doctor’s office. He brought it home to his wife and they debated and discussed for three days before they finally decided to let her go. Angel enjoys a close relationship with both her parents and even though her father’s employment was of great interest of her, her mother always found time educate her on matters of the medical field and at the same time she developed the interest in glass blowing, her mother put her in dance classes as well. It started out with ballet but when she got older she switched it to hip hop. Her mother also taught her how to shop smart, gave Angel her fashion sense, taught her how to cook, keep the books, house keep, and to be confident in everything she did.

A graduate of Galvan, Angel went into the medical feild like her mother, becoming a surgical nurse when all the chaos started happening. She kept her powers hidden and managed to stay under the radar, her parents were very scared for her and many times implored her to come home until things blew over. Angel refused but visited her parents often to assure them she was alright, no one suspected her. When the Devia Corp. and Team Tomorrow formed, she was tempted to join Devia but in the end joined Team Tomorrow after talking with her parents. Joining Team Tomorrow meant that she had to quit her job at the hospital but she still blows glass for her father's shop, blowing glass has proven to be therapeutic for her so a nice short session helps her relax after a stressful day.
Sample Roleplay: Nothing was more pleasant then having the alarm blare heavy metal into your ear in the morning. Angel nearly jumped a mile high when some artist she wasn't familiar with screamed at her through her radio alarmclock. She slammed her hand down on the offending device and flopped back against her pillow with an irritated growling sigh. Ah, silence, what a lovely sound. She sighed a bit easier and smiled as she settled back for sleep. She was just on the brink of slumber about to take the plunge when that music started again. With a snarl, Angel sat up, pulled the cord from the wall and sent the alarm clock sailing across the room. She ignored the fatal crash as it slammed into the opposite wall as she furiously settled for sleep once again, muttering about people who couldn't sing getting contracts anyway.

Sleep finally claimed her only to relinquish it's hold an hour later as she surfaced back into the waking world. She blinked at her window, she could see light filtering in through her blinds and she sighed. She wasn't going to get back to sleep now that her body had shoved her into wakefulness. She sat up again, this time slowly and stretched her arms over head and groaned. She grinned when her black and Russian Blue ball of fluff jumped onto her bed and mewled at her, "Boulder!" She scooped up her cat and scratched his belly, "Good morning! Are you hungry? I'm hungry too, shall we see what's in the kitchen?" She asked.

Boulder simply closed his eyes, flexing his claws and purred up at her.

Angel grinned and slipped out of bed with Boulder still in her arms. As she made her way out of her room and towards the kitchen, something warm and soft brushed her legs. She looked down to see Tank, her Bengal, "Good morning to you too, Tank! Where's Dash?"

As if to answer her question, tank trotted ahead of her to the kitchen. She'd named him Tank because he was so solidly built, like a mini tiger, his paws were huge. Dash was her youngest and fastest, he was currently sniffing around the food bowels and ran at her when she appeared, pawing at her legs.

"Patience is a virtue." She told him then set Boulder down and fed the three of them, "Your welcome." They ignored her and she rolled her eyes and then looked into her fridge, "Eggs and toast, perfect!"

DarkScarlettVixen


knotbox

PostPosted: Mon Jun 25, 2007 3:19 pm


Gaia Name: knotbox

Name: Rigilda Emmett

Age: 17

Alignment: Team Tomorrow

Special Abilities: She can warp things that she can through an alternate plan of dimension, and either leave them there, or reform them into something else, and bring them back. She can create anything from something, her only limits being her eyesight and her imagination. The energy needed to warp in this matter is limitless, and completely at her disposal. She cannot store things in her alternate dimensional plane. It is infinite, and it would almost impossible to find, this is too advanced for her.

Codename: Black Hole

Costume: Black body suit, the top has no arms, with only small red caps for sleeves, and red eye mask. She wears the TT emblem on her red belt. She doesn’t have gloves. Her costume is a thick non-shiney spandex type material. Most likely cotton, she doesn’t know exactly, it was just given to her.

Appearance: She is rather on the plain side of the beauty spectrum. She has wavy dark brown reddish tinted hair, and dark blue eyes. Her eyes are droopy, but are also very deep, and seem to suck in light, rather than reflect it. Her mouth is wider than most, and she has laugh wrinkles when she talks. She wearings rectangular reading glasses when she is not in her Team Tomorrow Costume. She has thin bangs that fall onto her eyebrows that are dark, long and naturally thin. He hair falls almost shoulder length. She usually wears it up. She had a slightly more masculine build. Her shoulders are a little too wide, but her frame is altogether petite. Her hands are also slightly larger than average. She usually wears more prim clothing, that would catagorize her as a casual business person, a prep, as the label is called.. She cares about her appearance, this can be seen in the care she takes to groom herself, not get creases in her clothing, and be tidy.

Sexual Orientation: Heterosexual

Personality: She is a fond fan of practical jokes. She has a very mischievous nature, which cannot be deducted from her polite and mature demeanor. She is a very ‘awake’ person, and people find her to be ‘deep’ despite her shallow jokes. She can be cruelly sarcastic at times. She is not an emotionally driven person, and is rather very rational in her thoughts and actions. She does however jump to conclusions and judges people very closely based on what she hears about them, and what they look like.

She is spiteful towards the people she dislikes, or whom she has formed a bad opinion of, but it extremely kind to the people whom she does like. For the people with the right causes, she will do anything.

She doesn’t see the world in shades of grey, someone is either good or bad, there is no in between the two. She has romanticized the entire situation between novas and humans, and the role of Team Tomorrow. She believes only a story like Romeo & Juliet will save them, and so she helps others through team tomorrow.

History: Rigilda was found in an 'Emmet Electric' cardboard box on the stoop of a Catholic Orphanage, wrapped in worn towel monogrammed with 'Rigilda' on a damp and dank morning. There she grew up and received her schooling, until she reached puberty and showed that she had gained almost complete control of her powers, at this point her ability to bring things to another plane was weak, and her ablity to bring them back; non-existant.

She was sent to one of the oldest Galvan schools in the country, and received the nickname, The Blackhole. There she was taught to use her abilities, and was taught and advanced in other areas. She became an average martial arts hand combatant, her teachers say she relies too much on her warping abilities. Her math, language, and science knowledge abilities are also average to a freshly graduated high schooler. She is however very good at logic, and deducting the true meaning of a situation or what someone is saying.

She has been taken into Team Tomorrow as a trainee, as she has not yet graduated from her Galvan High School. It is an internship-esque situation, where she doesn't get paid, and she's only there to learn. She doesn't help out very much in the feild. But is more in a position of watching, and applying her knowledge under controlled circumstances.

Sample Roleplay: Rigilda frowned and looked at the crack in the ground. She lifted up her mask and pulled her glasses out of a slim pouch in her belt, and put them on. She knelt down closer and scrutinized it silently. The Ray stood just behind her and crossed her arms with impatience. She sighed, and continued to watch what Rigilda was doing.

Rigilda slowly stuck her finger tip towards the crack and pushed part of it into the small dark space, and it disappeared. She gasped, startled, and pulled her finger back. There was no change in its appearance. She looked up at the Ray, who snicked.

“You look like a geek.” Ray said, smirking. Rigilda ignored her.

“Could you please shine some light in there, maybe I can see more then.” Rigilda said, taking a small step back.

Ray opened her mouth and blew out a thin stream of light that did not penetrate the darkness in the little hole.

“That’s what I thought,” Rigilda said quietly, “It’s a black hole.”

Rigilda heard a sharp intact of breath behind her and quickly looked around. She took in Ray’s stiff composure and wide eyes.

“That’s not good.” Ray said, “We need to tell someone.”

Rigilda nodded incredulously, and said, “Yeah, we should definately tell the team captain. Wait, aren’t you our team captain, Ray?”

Ray didn’t move. “This is bigger than me,” She said, “I mean, we need to tell a real someone.”
PostPosted: Mon Jun 25, 2007 8:06 pm



Gaia Name: Ariene Whippwillow

Name: Jiana Karen Dorvil (Ji for short)

Age: 19

Alignment: Team Tomorrow.

Special Abilities: Photographic memory, ability to retain and process specific information (such as details of an attack plan or information in a book. She ‘throws away’ any information that she doesn't need, like details on a hand carved chair or headboard. She doesn’t actually throw them away, she puts it in the back of her head, and usually she can’t call up the information when and if she needs it.) Ji can understand most things almost instantly, if given all the information. She only knows what she’s been told, or read or concluded on her own. She likes to learn new things about technology so she can create gadgets or devices that can help with someone’s problem. If she has the right tools and knowledge needed to make a gadget or device she uses it to the fullest extent. Her ability to adapt to a situation depends on her understanding of it. If she understands everything her ability to assess the situation and either fix it or escape from it usually takes 30 seconds to a minute to go through everything and pick the best course of action. She weighs the possibilities of messing up carefully before she chooses, sharp, technical mind, and computer savvy.
A headache gradually grows into a migraine at the end of the day, starting usually after breakfast, in her first hour of work. Since she is always working, she's always had a headache, and she doesn't know what would happen if she didn't work a day. She also has never taken aspirin or pain medication for fear of it ruining her mind. Some days are worse than others, depending on the stress and what’s going on.
A normal person’s brain is about 10%, hers is 50-60%.
She has come by information that she can’t fully process. Human emotions. They are way too complicated for her and keep changing. The one she can never truly understand is love. Love for family she does comprehend, but love for another human being she can’t even begin to imagine, since she has never experienced it before. She does have emotions, but she doesn’t understand them or how they work.
Sometimes she has trouble drawing the things she invents, since she isn’t much of an artist.
She can understand most languages but is only fluent in Japanese, English, Latin and American Sign Language.
If and when she hears a voice it is imbedded in her mind, it is one of the few things that cannot be thrown away. If there is a face to the voice she can conjure it up and draw it when she hears the voice.
Another drawback to her power is slow memory loss. Things fade away after awhile such as a birthday party at age 6 or what her mother looks like. Also, and this has only happened once or twice, she will sleep for a few days at a time to give her brain a break or to recuperate from being stressed out too much. Nothing and no one can wake her up, so she is trapped in her dream world, which is mostly blank except for a few nightmares that her head has kept over the years. They play over and over until she wakes up.


Codename: Tech (Or Techie)

Appearance: Jiana has short, dark brown almost black hair with a few white hairs here and there, a downside to her power. She has tanned skin, coming from her Cherokee heritage, she has no other traits that she is Native American. She has dark green eyes set deep, sometimes giving her a tired look.
She wears white tank tops with a gray zip up jacket and blue jeans. She's about 5' 4" tall. Jiana doesn't exercise much because she is mostly at a desk, so she’s got a little pudge around the middle. She can, however, run pretty fast, even though she never does unless the situation calls for it.
Her costume is black form-fitting pants with no pockets and a dark blue long sleeve shirt with the logo on the back. She wears a belt with the logo on the buckle, too.

Sexual Orientation: Straight

Personality: Ji is the quite type until she gets to know you then she loosens up. She likes to see the good in people until you give her reason to see the bad. If she has to talk she will, but there's no idle chatter involved and she doesn't ramble when she knows no one is listening, or doesn’t want to listen. What gets her talking is when someone asks her about a new invention, or asks her for a suggestion (giving suggestions too.). She's open to all ideas and can pinpoint flaws in any course of action, even if they are minor. She doesn’t know how to flirt, so when faced with that situation she blushes and stammers, feeling a little awkward and stupid. Her temper hardly ever flares, but when people tell her she’s stupid or idiotic for no reason, it goes up like a flame and she gets red and starts stammering, much the same with the flirting, only she gets revenge (“” She plots it, but never carries out the plans.) on that person who called her stupid. Sometimes when she’s mad, she’s somewhat of an evil genius, designing bombs and guns. (She would never do anything to hurt someone out of spite, but putting out an idea that hints it makes her feel better, and it usually wears away the anger...and the headache.)
When she gets angry, another headache forms, this time in the crown of her head, where it usually is in the back or on the sides. The headache gets worse and worse, both her power and anger headaches, sometimes so bad that she passes out, or gets violently ill. Her anger headache combines with her power headache, amplifying and growing larger.
Likes/Dislikes: I decided to add this one. This is for food choices. She likes peaches. She does not like avocadoes.

History: She was born in Houston, TX, but that didn’t last long. When she was three years old her parents, along with her three older brothers, packed up and moved to Washington DC because her father, who worked for an oil company, got transferred.
Her parents were like any other, fighting mostly. They never split up though. Her family did lots of things together, picnics in the park, things like that. She was slightly spoiled by her parents, since she was the youngest of four children. Her brothers made sure she wasn’t too spoiled, by teasing her and keeping the knocking boys away. Okay, maybe not the knocking boys so much, since she threatened them that she would blast them into oblivion if they so much touched any of them. There was only one suitor, and it didn’t last long because her parents discovered that she was a nova.
No one ever knew Jiana was a genius until she was discovered as a nova at 14, she was just starting freshman year in high school. She would build advanced technology with scrap metal or odd things lying around the house and then take it apart, so no one would know she was smart. She did, however, keep blue prints and sketches of her inventions, so she could rebuild them when she got older. If she remembered.
When they did find out that she was a nova, her parents sent her to the school and she hasn't heard from them or her brothers and friends since. Ji hopes, though, that they will get in touch with her one day.
She sends things on their birthdays, Fathers day, Mothers day, all the holidays, but she never got a call and at first the presents got sent back. When they stopped sending them back, she thought that they had started accepting the presents.
Sometimes when she’s angry at something, she turns her thoughts to them, and gets into a slight rage. The rage usually doesn’t last long, because the headache gets worse all of the sudden, and she faints almost dead away.
None of her brothers knew she was a nova at all. She supposed her parents told them that she got into trouble and sent her off to boarding school. She believes that they make up excuses as to why she can’t come home for holidays.
She joined Team Tomorrow because she thought the rouge novas were going a bit too far, and Admon saying that they were supreme was ridiculous. She doesn’t think anything is supreme over another living being. Ji thinks we are just the same as a horse, or a dog.
She doesn’t have many thought about the current events, just an exasperated sigh here and there, and then work on a new doohickey to fight them off, or contain them.

Sample Roleplay: Jiana hummed a little tune. She was pretty sure she was alone, or she wouldn’t have started that pointless jingle. As she hummed, she figured that it couldn’t be classified as a melody, since it had no rhythm, or any repetitive notes.
She was in her room, which was somewhat small and comfortable- just the way she liked it. When you walked into the room, you saw a twin bed in the right corner and a desk the opposite of it. Two symmetrical windows were on the back wall, facing out onto the back gardens. She was glad they were there too. She would have something to gaze at while she was trying to fall asleep. There were white curtains on the windows, they were always open.
On the desk was her laptop, which was white and orange, not black, as people would expect of her. It wasn’t as high tech as she’d like it to be, but it served the purposes she had for it.
In the right hand corner was a cup of pencils that were sharpened perfectly, she never used them.
On another wall was a dresser with a mirror. To the right of the dresser was a small closet she used for her summer clothes, her winter ones were in the dresser. She had no posters or personal paintings on the wall; she had no use of them.
Jiana’s eye twitched a little. She had been up for almost 21 hours, working on a new project. She had no idea what it was though. It could be used for a number of things; she just had to decide was it was. She thought of what it could look like right before she fell asleep the previous night.
The next morning she started to type out all the things that this curious little gadget could be used for.
The picture of the device was clear in her head, and she had drawn in on a piece of scrap paper, that was now taped to the space of wall above her desk. Hundreds (and she was exaggerating) of scrap papers littered that wall, some from years ago, some from a few days ago, she could never tell.
Her head felt like a chainsaw was being buried in it. She blinked a few times, then realized she hadn’t been out of her room for the whole time she’d been awake that day. This meant she missed work, and hadn’t eaten. As if on cue, she stomach growled loudly. How long had it been growling like that? It didn’t matter.
Jiana stood from the stiff backed chair and stretched like a cat waking from a little bask in the sun. She awkwardly walked to the door, pausing every few seconds to stretch out an unused muscle.
I’ll just pop into the kitchen for a little snack, then come straight back. Her mouth was watering for a peach anyway. She just hoped she could do it with out waking anyone. It was close to midnight, you realize. Considering the odds, she doubted it. In the dark she was clumsy, knocking over things and making a ton of noise. Something she needed to fix, and soon.
(Hey, is my Sample RP okay? Do I need to change that?)

Ariene Whippwillow


Merlinic Matrices

PostPosted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 2:15 pm


EKA:

--first off, proofread, at least before you turn in the final final version. I saw 'nova's' where it should've been 'novas', for example.
--I think I'm good with the power and appearance. I like the name Askew.
--I think your personality may need to be rewritten more than it needs to be reformulated--you may know who she is, but the details you gave just aren't quite connected/organized enough to transfer that idea to us. *pauses to read the rest, in case she need recant something°...
--More history please? Her family, friends, home, school, neighbors, memories... Things that help shape a person being the general trend.
--As for the sample, the beginning is a bit rocky but then it gets better. Your portrayl of the character's parents rate about six on a scale of one to ten--some detail, but they don't quite feel like they're really there. The portrayl of Elaine and surrounding world jumps between three/four and eight/nine. Good lines include:
Tension dissipated from the air as though her hand had been on the trigger of a gun and she had suddenly replaced the safety catch.
the rocking air conditioned comfort of the subway train,
She made a mental note: Don't eat lunch.


See if that helps any? I must go now...
PostPosted: Tue Jun 26, 2007 11:23 pm


*puppy eyes* .....wha about mine....?

DarkScarlettVixen


Pansa

PostPosted: Wed Jun 27, 2007 12:36 pm


I'm taking time from doing profiles since I started having nightmares about them (I kid you not). And Merly is working on a full time job out of country.

Be patient.
PostPosted: Wed Jun 27, 2007 1:58 pm


at DSV:

--in the personality section I get a hint of a person but there's not a ton there. What drives her? How does she interact with people? What does she like or not like, and what are her reasons? etc
--I don't know that nursing equals big bucks, whether or not it should... though you can prolly justify middle class, but living well below their means?
--father teaching her to fight dirty sounds more like a way to justify ninja skills than a real thing. Consider the phrasing 'her father showed her a dirty trick or two, just in case'... kind of thing

I would continue but it's late and this room is way too damn smoky for me to breathe, much less think. See you tomorrow.

Merlinic Matrices


DarkScarlettVixen

PostPosted: Thu Jun 28, 2007 12:53 am


@Pansa: *meekly* yes ma'am...

@Merle: *bows* thank you, ma'am...
PostPosted: Thu Jun 28, 2007 1:00 am


*dances* I edited! heart

DarkScarlettVixen


Merlinic Matrices

PostPosted: Thu Jun 28, 2007 1:34 pm


"Angel grew up in a relatively safe environment, went to a public school but with her father’s history which he kept secret from his daughter but not his wife, he taught Angel how to defend herself, including a few dirty tricks just in case." --much better, but depending on what zeh other editors want: "he taught Angel a few dirty tricks for defending herself" doesn't imply the kind of extensive teaching (which I vote to avoid by the way) that "taught her to defend herself" does... You might rephrase that sentence grammatically if you have time, it's a bit awkward.

Glassmaking history is good, but there are a few grammar issues in there that I don't really have the energy to detail at the moment...

At sixteen years of age, Angel has a pretty firm grasp of her powers. --either the sixteen needs tobe 22 or that needs to be in past.

educate her on matters of the medical field--what now? sounds rather officious for what I was assuming was just her mother talking to the girl about her job at the dinner table... And keep in mind that while nurses are awesome, their job isn't synonymous with 'doctor'.

Out of curiousity more than anything else, what's a surgical nurse?

On the grammar again, this for example is a runon:
Joining Team Tomorrow meant that she had to quit her job at the hospital but she still blows glass for her father's shop, blowing glass has proven to be therapeutic for her so a nice short session helps her relax after a stressful day.

Writing comment in your sample: vary the begininng of your sentences away from 'she' more and it'll prolly be smoother.

Its hold! No apostrophe! (Sorry that's one of the grammar bits that annoys me the most.)

You're welcome, not your.

I would say you rate seven or eightish in that--consistent level, some nice details, a few grammar issues, and you could still improve on that elusive thing I think I'm going to call presence--how real your character and writing feels... Mmm. Favorite bit's prolly "muttering about people who couldn't sing getting contracts anyway."

Repost the whole thing next time? I know we don't want the page forever long, but really I prefer it that way...
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