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 Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2005 5:48 pm
"..I only want you to be happy..." Severus replied softly.
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Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2005 6:02 pm
((I have to go at dinner. Brb.))
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Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2005 6:10 pm
((*shakes fist* >.< =p ))
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Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2005 6:27 pm
((Back~ *peeks at Ed's post* Aaah. Dinner. Dinner's supposed to be good.))
Sirius' words hit Remus. Hard. Why? Well... after what Remus had written, he'd had a somewhat futile hope that... that there would be something. Apparently not.
And as for Severus... what did that really mean?
It didn't... make any sense. And it didn't...
Curling up slightly, withdrawing from them both, Remus began to calm himself by making a mental construct. A game of Wizard's chess played in his mind as the world around him went quiet. The pawns danced their deadly game and the knights met on the field to do battle... and the world around him went quiet.
He appeared to be in something of a trance to those watching him... curled, eyes shut slightly...
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Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2005 6:29 pm
Sirius stared at Remus, frowning slightly, he glanced at Severus then moved forwards, putting a hand on Remus' shoulder. What on Earth was he doing? "Moony?"
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Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2005 6:34 pm
"Remus..?" Severus slowly got to his feet, gently resting his hand on the werewolf's side.
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Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2005 6:36 pm
Knight to-- no, that wasn't the way the board had been a moment ago. What was going on...? Why wasn't--
Dimly, Remus could hear Sirius and Severus' voices calling to him. No, no, no... if I say anything else now... I can't... I can't think while I'm still...
But what choice did he have? He didn't... want to worry them anymore. His eyes fluttered open, and Remus coughed lightly-- that method of calming himself took a great deal of energy, due to the fact that it required such complete concentration... "Ah... sorry about that... I was... thinking," he finished lamely. Trying to calm down, his mind answered.
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Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2005 6:39 pm
Sirius nodded. "Good. I thought something was wrong." He sighed and straightened up."Maybe...I should go, so you two can talk. And you can rest," he said, turning and leaving without another word.
((I have to go. I might be back. Bye.I'm really sorry.))
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Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2005 6:40 pm
"Remus... Please tell us what you wanted to..." Severus said softly. "You said that you wanted to talk to us... Please, now is your chance to tell us..."
((Night Ed~))
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Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2005 6:48 pm
((Bye, Ed~~))
Remus bit his lip, feeling that strange mix of pain/pleasure as he watched Sirius leave the room. Unfortunately, that mixture didn't make him feel any better-- not where it was starting to hurt most... was this what they called heartache?
"I..." Remus started before sighing. "I don't know." And that was the problem, wasn't it? He knew what he wanted, but he wasn't supposed to have that, was he? That wasn't... the way things worked...
From his long-ago past, phrases started rising up. Such a little brat... no one's gonna stay with you... not for any real length of time... use and leave... No! That's not...
Remus sighed softly. "Maybe... I don't know..." He'd never felt this unsure in his life...
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Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2005 7:01 pm
Severus stroked his cheek lightly. "After my.. suicide attempt... Ateil took me aside and spoke with me... And it made some things clearer.. more understandable." He slowly looked at him. "He said that.. you didn't feel comfortable with me.. because you have a fear of commitment.."
He lowered his eyes quickly. "And he told me about your childhood... Remus, I'm so sorry... I didn't know... No one should ever have to go through that... I'm so sorry it happened to you... I wish there was a way I could help you..."
He gently took his hand again, holding it between his two, the one hand still bandaged a bit. "But, Remus.. Whatever he told you.. You're better than that. You deserve the world. Just because you are a werewolf doesn't mean you don't deserve love, and you don't deserve to be happy."
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Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2005 7:13 pm
Remus laughed softly. "Trust Teil to go about revealing everything. I... never meant for anyone to find out about those things. I'm still trying to figure out why I told him."
No, that was a sort of lie. He knew why he'd told Teil. Because Teil was there, was kind enough to listen, was there to not tell him not to want to die, but to tell him that it was all right...
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Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2005 7:16 pm
Severus swallowed. "...Is it true... that you thought I was.. just using you?" he asked softly, shaking slightly. He shook his head. "Remus.. You were the only person who gave a damn about me.. And you're the only person I ever cared about... I wouldn't have done anything to hurt you.."
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Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2005 7:23 pm
"...now which one told you that...?" Remus mused. It was true, he'd thought that... for a long time. But... he had gotten over that. Sort of. He was getting there.
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Posted: Thu Jun 09, 2005 7:26 pm
"The other one... But... Ateil seemed to hint towards it." Severus lowered his eyes. "Remus... I just want you to know that I do love you.. And I will do anything for you.. And the only thing I want is for you to be happy, even if it means taking me out of your life..."
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