|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Jun 19, 2005 10:44 pm
Trust does not necessarily mean entrusting someone else with something, or relying upon them. Trust in a person is acceptance of that person.
Trust in the sense of relying upon the integrity of another is also not weakness. Placing no trust in another is a weakness -- for if you do not trust, then no trust will be reciprocated.
I would ask you to define a situation in which trust makes you weaker, and thus, more vulnerable.
Until I have compelling evidence to believe otherwise, my previous statements pertaining to trust still stand.
-Alezunde
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Jun 23, 2005 3:59 pm
Alezunde Trust does not necessarily mean entrusting someone else with something, or relying upon them. Trust in a person is acceptance of that person. Trust in the sense of relying upon the integrity of another is also not weakness. Placing no trust in another is a weakness -- for if you do not trust, then no trust will be reciprocated. I would ask you to define a situation in which trust makes you weaker, and thus, more vulnerable. Until I have compelling evidence to believe otherwise, my previous statements pertaining to trust still stand. -Alezunde Your first two statements contradict your previous definition of trust. If trust is merely acceptance of a person, then you are correct. However, last time I checked, acceptance of a person is simply labelled acceptance or tolerance, and trust is something completely different. Trust is more than just accepting a person. If I accept someone, I might not trust him. But if I trust someone, it means there is something deeper to my relationship with him. In my case, if I trust someone, it means that the person has probably done something to assure me that if I trust him he won't stab me in the back. Other people trust more easily, I'm sure, but I feel that people who are trustworthy are those who are loyal friends who can be trusted and who will trust you in return. I do not believe that placing no trust in anyone is a wise strategy; it's impossible, after all. I trust right now that no one living in my household has poisoned the food or the air, and I trust them not to do so in the future. A situation in which placing trust in a person is a weakness? Fine. Hypothetical situation: I'm on a bus, sitting alone, and a man I do not know sits beside me. I can either trust him, and lower my guard, or not trust him, and keep my guard up. If I trust him(without knowing the first thing about him), he could easily steal from me, injure me, or anything else, because that's the nature of trust, right? If I trust him, I don't expect him to do anything to harm me. But if he does, I have no one to blame but myself for trusting him.
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jun 25, 2005 6:58 pm
Forgive me, I haven't read the rest of this thread... I'm only commenting on the first post. Therefore, what I have to say may already have been said many times over. I apologize if it has been.
I agree with you 100%. I'm also an optimist, and as such I can clearly see where you're coming from. First of all, your definitions and subsequent explanations of 'cynics', 'pessimists' and 'realists' seem to be totally congruent with my own interpretations, and your personal definition of optimism makes more sense to me than the dictionary definition does, too.
Cynics get themselves stuck in self-fulfilling prophecies. If they look at everything scornfully, how can they ever be happy with anything? How can they ever receive anything good if everything, both good or bad, is viewd with skepticism and mistrust? And as for pessimists, sure! They're not disappointed, because they were expecting the worst anyways. But once again, nothing good ever happens because they can't see it as good; rather, they see it as bad-waiting-to-happen. Realists, like you said, aren't so bad; they can at least acknowledge the good when it appears in front of them. But it seems to me that realists fail to take advantage of the more subtle goods that occur, believing that they're negative.
Optimists, on the other hand, see everything in a positive light. This doesn't mean that they're always happy, and it doesn't mean that they're going to be disappointed at every turn. It means, as you said, that no matter what happens, they can see some good in it. Even failures become positive things because optimists can take the failure as a lesson and use it to their advantage to avoid similar failures in the future. I was actually just having a conversation about this earlier today over dinner with my friends. Optimists take failure as a tool for improvement of the self, and when one looks at life that way, one can accomplish so much.
In effect, I've merely restated all the things you said in your post. I suppose I just wanted to say that I agree with you fully.
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2005 1:34 am
Phaedrus17 Your first two statements contradict your previous definition of trust. If trust is merely acceptance of a person, then you are correct. However, last time I checked, acceptance of a person is simply labelled acceptance or tolerance, and trust is something completely different. Trust is more than just accepting a person. If I accept someone, I might not trust him. But if I trust someone, it means there is something deeper to my relationship with him. In my case, if I trust someone, it means that the person has probably done something to assure me that if I trust him he won't stab me in the back. Other people trust more easily, I'm sure, but I feel that people who are trustworthy are those who are loyal friends who can be trusted and who will trust you in return. I do not believe that placing no trust in anyone is a wise strategy; it's impossible, after all. I trust right now that no one living in my household has poisoned the food or the air, and I trust them not to do so in the future. A situation in which placing trust in a person is a weakness? Fine. Hypothetical situation: I'm on a bus, sitting alone, and a man I do not know sits beside me. I can either trust him, and lower my guard, or not trust him, and keep my guard up. If I trust him(without knowing the first thing about him), he could easily steal from me, injure me, or anything else, because that's the nature of trust, right? If I trust him, I don't expect him to do anything to harm me. But if he does, I have no one to blame but myself for trusting him. rofl I'm slipping in my old age. <_< You're correct -- I contradicted myself. I will go back on a few of my former arguments and agree that yes, in certain situations trust can set you up for loss. However, I think that it is the attitude that the act of trust is a weakness that causes such widespread paranoia of others. I would like to say that I believe that reserving your trust of others is a counterproductive act -- especially when it comes to forming good relationships. (Not just counterproductive for yourself, but for society!) -Alezunde
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2005 1:41 am
AislinCade: Thanks for your input! My main motivation behind posting this topic was to point out why optimism is not only a good aesthetic choice, but a good choice logically and practically as well.
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2005 3:05 pm
Alezunde rofl I'm slipping in my old age. <_< You're correct -- I contradicted myself. I will go back on a few of my former arguments and agree that yes, in certain situations trust can set you up for loss. However, I think that it is the attitude that the act of trust is a weakness that causes such widespread paranoia of others. I would like to say that I believe that reserving your trust of others is a counterproductive act -- especially when it comes to forming good relationships. (Not just counterproductive for yourself, but for society!) -Alezunde My belief is that mutual trust is purely beneficial- but only if the trust is mutual and unbetrayed. Mutual trust strengthens those who practice it. I guess the difference between us is that you're an optimist, and I try to be a realist who tries to see things in a positive light. Not a realist who really sees negativity and claims that it is the truth, but I strive to see things as they really are. If I really have a 1% chance of accomplishing something, I want to realize that. But I don't want to give up even if I only have a 1% chance. There's still a chance. My point, I suppose, is that we have a different view on trusting others because we have different outlooks on life. Which is alright, I suppose, but the flaw I see in optimism is that sometimes you can disappoint yourself with optimistic expectations. I agree, though, that optimism is much more logical and rational of a choice than pessimism.
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Tue Jun 28, 2005 9:44 pm
I would tend to call you more of an optimist than anything else. smile I too prefer to be able to view things in an objective light, from as neutral a stance as possible -- I think that it's hard to obtain facts otherwise. My desire to see things objectively doesn't prevent me from being an optimist though. I don't have the time and energy to waste on being down -- I have my life to live! I by no means claim that life is always an easy or fun ride! xd
-Alezunde
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Jun 30, 2005 4:26 am
I have noticed by some of your recent comments that I may have some optimistic traits as well. A lot has happened to me in recent years and I have begun to notice that many of the things that seemed bad at the time have actually set me up for a better life by improving the way I act and how I see others. To me though, this seems like more of a realist approach by seeing how I have changed and merely noticing that I am better for it rather than expecting me to be better from it without actual confirmation.
On the issue of trust I agree with both of you. I find it hard to trust others because of what I have experienced through life when I have trusted people in the past. However, I also want to trust others because it makes me feel safer that I have people I can rely on as they know more about me and can help me better. I have recently started a gaia journal that I have allowed the people on my friendslist to access. This journal has allowed me to share my feelings and thoughts to people I trust and so far has been met with only positive responces.
I don't like the way that society has gone with trust being so scarce and rare but I do my best in such a restrictive society. Test this by greeting random people on the streets in a friendly manner and see how they respond. You most likely won't see them again so you have little to lose and possibly a lot to gain if they for some reason take a liking to you. I have noticed that most merely look at me strangely and walk on silently, putting up extra caution because they expect me to do something strange. The only ones who respond well are the older generations who are grateful for the interaction, no matter how short.
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Jun 30, 2005 1:44 pm
As I stated in my initial post, my opinion is that the brand of optimism I prefer is probably the ultimate form of realism -- still practical, but optimistic.
In my life I've realized that a lot of the worst things that have ever happened to me have been the most beneficial to my personal growth, so I can completely relate to your experience. 3nodding
In trusting others more readily, I hope to promote trust in others -- so that maybe someday you can walk up to a random person on the street and befriend them, if only for a moment. (Rather than be met by their suspicious stare and hasty escape.)
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Thu Jun 30, 2005 2:18 pm
The problem with pessimism is that it builds itself up so easily.
If a person believes themself to be incapable, chances are they will be, but only out of choice. This incapability only strengthens one's sense of worthlessness and pessimism, and you're caught in a neverending cycle.
The biggest problem with pessimists is that they're pessimistic about optimism, I think.
I used to be pessimistic, but when I realized that happiness really just depended on me, I reformed to optimism. Honestly, the problem I found with being pessimistic was that I always brought myself down, instead of pulling myself up. Even if something good happened, and I was happy for a time, I always brought myself back down with my pessimism.
Optimism is just the opposite. Bad things can happen, and I can get upset- but I won't stay upset. I always cheer up when I think about the future, or about how unhappiness is really just temporary. Circumstances only go so far; attitude goes much farther.
I'm naturally happy with being optimistic. I thnik it would be a major change in many people's lives if they were just awakened to the fact that happiness is a choice. They think it's something that comes and goes, but that's also a choice.
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sat Jul 02, 2005 3:07 am
I agree completely. It seems to me that everything bad has some sort of downward trend associated with it. : / It's really up to us to realize when this sort of thing is happening to us, and actively prevent it from happening. There's the catch: living a happy life is full of effort -- it's all about fighting the downward trends. However, I think that it's quite worth the effort in the end.
There's a story I heard once, that I think probably has some relevance to the discussion, and it went more or less like this:
There was once a young man who suffered from the problems of life. The problems were so out of his control, that he finally sook out the wise man who lived by the lake with the willows. He approached the old man, and lamented. The old man said "Put your hand in the water of the lake, and make ripples." The young man did as he was told, and ripples spread out across the lake. "Now stop the ripples with your hand" said the old man. Putting his hand in the water only caused more ripples, and the young man could not stop any of them with his hand.
There was a little bit more to the story, but the general point is conveyed.
-Alezunde
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Jul 03, 2005 9:24 am
From what I've read in this topic no one here is purely optimistic. Which I beleive to be a good thing because I feel it's necessary to asess every situation and decide how is best to proceed after feeling it out. What's logical is for there to be a balance between optimism, realism and pessimism in order to make a fully rounded decision about it. There are very few black and white situations, so best not to approach with black and white veiws. I prefer to look at every possible outcome from bad to good before I step out on a limb. In instances where deep thought is not an option I always go with my gut instinct which hasn't lead me wrong yet. I'm all for the positive outlook on the world and all, but it's important to take the bad with the good because there's definatly bad out there.
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Jul 03, 2005 2:41 pm
PunctureWounds From what I've read in this topic no one here is purely optimistic. Which I beleive to be a good thing because I feel it's necessary to asess every situation and decide how is best to proceed after feeling it out. What's logical is for there to be a balance between optimism, realism and pessimism in order to make a fully rounded decision about it. There are very few black and white situations, so best not to approach with black and white veiws. I prefer to look at every possible outcome from bad to good before I step out on a limb. In instances where deep thought is not an option I always go with my gut instinct which hasn't lead me wrong yet. I'm all for the positive outlook on the world and all, but it's important to take the bad with the good because there's definatly bad out there. It may be true that no one here is an optimist in the traditional sense- because we try to come at problems from an objective angle and then apply the positive twist. However, I disagree. Just because there's bad out there doesn't mean you have to just accept it, as you claim. I think we can look at the bad and see what is there to be improved, as opposed to simply accepting it as it is. In almost any situation, aim for the best possible outcome, and if you don't make it, look at the good in what you have. Nothing is purely bad, everything has some positive aspect, so don't view things that way. This isn't a matter of ignoring the bad as much as it's a matter of having a positive attitude and perspective about things- even the bad things.
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Jul 04, 2005 6:03 pm
Phaedrus17 It may be true that no one here is an optimist in the traditional sense- because we try to come at problems from an objective angle and then apply the positive twist. However, I disagree. Just because there's bad out there doesn't mean you have to just accept it, as you claim. I think we can look at the bad and see what is there to be improved, as opposed to simply accepting it as it is. In almost any situation, aim for the best possible outcome, and if you don't make it, look at the good in what you have. Nothing is purely bad, everything has some positive aspect, so don't view things that way. This isn't a matter of ignoring the bad as much as it's a matter of having a positive attitude and perspective about things- even the bad things. Yes I definatly didn't mean to accept the bad, but ment that we can't just pretend everything is great either, that's denial. I only mean we need to realize that fact so it can be changed because you can't change anything you don't acknowledge.
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Mon Aug 08, 2005 11:35 am
PunctureWounds Yes I definatly didn't mean to accept the bad, but ment that we can't just pretend everything is great either, that's denial. I only mean we need to realize that fact so it can be changed because you can't change anything you don't acknowledge. Did any of us say to deny that anything bad exists or can happen? No. An optimist doesn't deny that there are bad things out there, he merely tries to improve bad things so they are good things.
|
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|