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 Posted: Sun Mar 11, 2007 6:59 pm
Season of Silence: Winter It is winter. Winter is never much colder than autumn. Estrelas trudges up the hill again, carrying Angel. God forbid the darling rabbit get her paws muddy. The same shawl hangs about her. Last night it rained. Estrelas stayed wide-awake last night, sleeping beside her little sister in their loft. Estica likes the rain. It’s like a lullaby. Estrelas likes it, but in a different way. The rain washes away all traces from the yesterday. It cleanses all those cobwebs that hang onto the soul and weigh it down. So she stayed silent and vigilant all night, listening to the earth be reborn. But today Estrelas sees nothing clean about the rain. All along the well-worn dirt road, wet muck gathers, like the sludge that God forgot to sweep out. There are puddles everywhere. Estrelas tries to avoid them, but they are too many. With every step, her wooden heel squishes down in mud, and her wool stockings absorb the excess water from the puddles. The wool is scratchy now; it itches and smells of musty wet sheep. The meadow is bare as a scab on a scrape. A gray, drowsy sun drifts through the sky today; the clouds seem feeble and angry. Occasionally, a shriveled, dry piece of grass floats in one of the puddles. Angel pauses to sniff it before wrinkling her nose in distaste and hopping after her human companion. It is winter. There’s a biting chill that shreds through her shawl. It’s nothing like the warm, luxurious breeze of summer now. There’s rain in the air- Estrelas can taste it. Rain is a salty pressure in the atmosphere, a sense of bitter foreboding, mixed with a misty, minty hint of moisture. She licks her lips gently, for once not chapped and tired by the summer dryness. That’s not always a good thing. Estrelas doesn’t even know why she comes out here in the brink of noon, and she doesn’t know why Angel followed, at least until the first puddle they approached. It’s quiet- not physically quiet. The wind blows, its cry perhaps even worse than the stinging bites of rain. Every step is accompanied by a splash and the crunching of dead ground. There are still birds that brave the rain to see what comes out. It is quiet because everything sleeps. There’s a certain energy in the air, a vibrancy bought on by promises of a drastic renewal, a solemn oath that the cold silence will not last. The silence is stiffling almost, a different quiet from the season of flowering. Nature does not anticipiate. She rests and prepares. Winter is never dead. Nature merely sleeps, until spring comes once again.
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Posted: Fri Mar 16, 2007 12:13 am
Audio Recording, Take II The tape fizzes a little bit before playing. A tapping sound is heard."Um. Dois... Três!" a voice calls, seeming distant, but then sudden crashing forward as if the speaker unwittingly flipped the volume on the microphone up. Which probably was pretty darn likely. It's the voice of a young woman, half-girl and half-adult, with the cynical reality of the adult and the impudence of the child, all slathered in a very thick Portuguese farmy accent. It's like bitter willow bark slathered in sweet, sweet syrup- you'll never know how bitter it is until you bite it."Today is... O décimo quarto do Março. Ahhh, Ah mean the fourteenth of March. Eet ees getting a 'ittle beet warmer here now..." The voice pauses. A few buttons are heard clicking and pressing. "Can 'ou hear 'this?" A few more taps. "Ahhh-eeeem! A few day ago, Angel cause big blackout, 'ere all the Elect-Eee-City spirits flew away and we were left in the dark. Now Mista Sain say Ah keep eye on Angel. Ah am sorry 'bout that, but Angel ees nae. Right now, Ah see her trying to gnaw on the wires aga- WAIT! Angel! Não! Pare isso!" There is a staticy crack as the microphone is dropped. Much shuffling and many crashes are heard before the voice resumes."Angel ees very bad girl. But anyway, Ah try Tech-No-Orgy again to record my voice. Maybe Ah send the Tape back to my family. A pause. " ...A Tape is... Like a little flat black box made of plastico that you put in machine, and you hear lots of sound. Mista Sain say they are outdated. But Ah use them still. Ah suppose 'ou would like to know about the 'Booming Box.' Eet ees naught really a box, eet is only shaped like one. A Booming Box has a handle and many buttons. There are two round things that look like cabbage strainers on the sides; that ees where the sound comes from. Also there is a little slot that you put the tape in, then you press the button with the triangle on it, and you hear lots of sounds." The voice pauses again, considering what to explain next. "The Booming Box also has a long tail that you put in a hole in the wall to start. Eponine once told me that the Booming Box will not start if you do not pull on its tail, and it will not work if you pull its tail out of the wall like this. " For a few moments, the tape is blank."-And then other people can hear your sounds too. Eet ees so amazing, like an ear in a box. Oh, if only my sister Estica could see this... She would be so..." The voice struggles for a word before saying simply in Portugese, " Espantar-se. Oh, how wonderfu- ANGEL! WHAT ARE YOU-Like last time, there is a crunching noise, and then a silence. The rest of the tape is blank.
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Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2007 11:41 pm
Estrelas and the Venus de Milo The opulent luxury of the Louvre was frightening to Estrelas. The farmgirl shifted uncomfortably, as if the old red velvet and bright cloud-like marble and gilded chandeliers burned, and in a way they did. Previously she had considered the LOTUS headquarters the height of wealth- for dear God above! The mere size was enough was enough to stun her. What was a peasant to do, when a four-room adobe house was cause for envy of the “ritzy.” A sudden thrashing in her “pregnant” belly pushed her back into reality. “Angel! Silenco!” she hissed, reaching down to still the rabbit hidden under her dress. She remembered clearly the look on Mista Archer’s face when she came waddling out with a full six-month belly, until it started wiggling like no fetus should do and two very rabbity hind legs popped out from her neckline. But now taking Angel to the famous art museum didn’t seem too brilliant, especially with the strange looks from the security guards… A very disgruntled and ruffled rabbit’s head suddenly popped out from her neckline again. Meanwhile, little Lucy Loveheart tugged on her mother’s hand again and waved her plushie rabbit Bruno in the air. “Maman! Maman! Cette dame prend un meilleur lapin que moi!” she cried, waving an indignant hand. Mama! Mama! That lady has a better rabbit than me! But as all little kids are treated with dismissal and “Oh, you need something totally irrelevant,” her mother, Madame Lucretia Loveheart, picked her up and carried her to the restrooms. Estrelas caught the little blonde girl and her ‘Maman’ in the corner of her eye and the stuffed animal, and an idea struck her… “Estrelas! What are you doing! If they see Angel-“ the Indian leader of LOTUS exclaimed, probably wondering if all farm people were as dimwitted as her. “Hush, this is my Stuff-fed Animal,” Estrelas declared proudly, stroking the rabbit’s head. “Now eef ‘ou would excuse us, we have statues to see,” she told him aloofly, clearly pleased with her brilliant disguise for the rabbit. One would guess French people weren’t supposed to know stuffed animals didn’t twitch noses and breathe…? “Angel, look at the description,” she crowed. “The Venus de Milo, renowned as one of the most beautiful depictions of the Goddess of Love Hmph!” Estrelas exclaimed. "It is a most fourth-rate statue! Probably hired by cheapskates! The artist forgot the arms, how careless!" Estrelas spent a while gazing at the statue. Was it marble? She assumed so. The Venus’s smooth form and gentle curves almost made her ashamed to be so imperfect as human, the gentle gaze and soft lips gave the impression of a gentle goddess, yet at the same time perfectly annoyingly sane. Estrelas bet that that woman never ran away from home with nothing but a cross, a Bible, and a rabbit. “Master Sculpture Alexandros of Antioch sculpted this ah-maa-zeeng masterpiece,” she orated. “…Any ‘here from… Ahh.. One- ‘Undread Tha-ty to Nine-tee BC. Angel, ‘hat is a BC?” she asked. Naturally, the rabbit did not respond. “Ah, Angel, Ah ‘ave heard Meez Shee mention this sculpture before! Rich men from around the world come to see it.” She shivered in delight at the fame of the statue and the fact that she was seeing it too- like the kings of the world! But Estrelas was startled out of her reverie by a kick from Angel. “Ah, Angel, hold still or else they will suspect that ‘ou are indeed a real rabbit!” she cried, but was rewarded by another kick. “Angel! Still- Whoa!” In a blink of an eye, the Portugese woman toppled over forward. There was no time to say “OH MERDA! [s**t]” before Estrelas struck the statue, and with the grace of a diving swan, the Venus de Milo flew backwards… Estrelas watched in horrid fascination as time slowed. The beautiful masterpiece began to slide forward in an attempt to right itself, but it was too late- the bottom gave way to slip off its pedastal. And in a milisecond, the Venus de Milo floated downwards- There was a sickening crunch, pursed by a hoarde of angry cracks and splinters. The aged marble flew in shimmering yellowed pieces, all a strange sort of rainshower. And the luxurious museum magnified every ching and chang of the splintered stone. It was over in a matter of seconds, the last shards bouncing to a stop, Angel was leaping through the air, glad to be on solid ground again, but Estrelas had fallen on all fours and was staring at the remains of one of the greatest artistic expressions of the ancient world with such utter disbelief. “Angel.. Ah think we are in trouble…” she murmured faintly as security bells began to blare and red lights began to flash. ------------- “Mista Sain, we need to go back home right now,” Estrelas told him gruffly as she stole into the antechamber where Wraith was looking at some magnificant Ancient Indian artifacts. “Estrelas, you look-“ “Who care how Ah look, let us go home!” “Look, we’ve just gotten here, and no one else is ready to go-“ “OR AH FLY PLANE MYSELF!” she threatened. Even his love of art did not extinguish the need to protect countless innocents. Wraith knew there was no reasoning with a Portuguese madwoman. ----------------- “Gawd Morning ‘very’ne!” Estrelas called in a cheerful voice as she shot down the stairs, still dressed in her nightdress. She smiled at all her friends, but everyone was too busy with their eyes glued to a Tell-A-Vision set on the wall. “Ahh, ‘hat ees going on-“ “Shhh!” Estrelas quickly shut up and tuned her ears to the box with moving pictures on the wall. A voice resonated from it- there was a man talking in the box! “’Hat has that man done to deserve being jailed in a box-“ “Shhh!” Estrelas quickly shut up- again. “…investigators are puzzled, all the evidence points to the criminal as a very large white rabbit of some sort. Officials are still looking into the possibility that this could be some sort of creature never before seen by science, because in order to be able to have so effortlessly pushed over the Venus de Milo, the rabbit must have been the size of an average woman. Now over to Betsy Lu for a report…” “Yes, thank you Michael, to my back you can see the crime scene, where the world-renowned masterpiece the Venus de Milo was destroyed. Who could have done such a thing, but French authorities vow that the culprit will be deprived of croissants, hung from the Eiffel Tower, and be subjected to the wrath of a mob of angry AP Art History students…” Estrelas let out a whimper that sounded like a cat throwing up. Then she fainted.
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Posted: Sun May 06, 2007 10:22 pm
Estrelas Goes to Dinner Amidst all the tuxedos and formal eveningwear, Estrelas stood out like a sore thumb. A bruised, pus-oozing, bleeding, throbbing, swelling thumb that was. Not that she wasn’t pretty, because she positively glowed in her formal outfit. Problem was, it was a formal outfit from the 15th century. The fanciful patterns and the vibrant colors alone were blinding, not to mention the trailing headcloth and full flouting skirt. Silky, low-cut dresses slinked by, and Estrelas sniffed disdainfully at the nudity. Or what 15th century Portugese Catholic women thought was nudity anyways. “How can Ah be ready to take my order? This menu here is in a foreign language!” Estrelas exclaimed to the waiter. “Madam,“ the poor man began, trying to get a word in. “This is an Italian restaurant, and the menu’s in English-“ “And who is this Madam you keep on talking to, no doubt she is a lady friend of yours, Ah understand the mechanisms of love perfectly, but it is no excuse that you are attending to her instead of me! And pretending I am not here at all! Well, I am here, and I am hungry, so if you are going to keep on greeting this “Madam” lady as I am of no regards, then tell me where your storekeeper is!” she cried. Of course the last part was in Portuguese, but the waiter could pick up the gist of it well. “You seem to be mistaken, you are the Madam,” he began politely, only to be interrupted yet again. Estrelas’s eyes widened in surprised, and the vein in her forehead starting ticking madly under her tanned temples. “Oh, have you no manners at all?” she cried. “Flirting with me, pretending I am your lady or your wife! I am not Madam!” As Estrelas got angrier and angrier, she rolled back into Portuguese and began to shout at the top of her lungs. “WELL, I AM NOT YOUR GIRLFRIEND, I AM A RESPECTABLE CATHOLIC GOD-FEARING LADY!” she howled in her native language. “AND DO NOT EVEN TRY WHATEVER TECHNOLOGY OR CHARMS YOU MAY HAVE, NO, I AM NOT TO BE TRIFLED WITH-“ “Please!” Now the waiter was anxious, nervous, and any other combination of the two. “Please, settle down! I’m not trying to-“ “TAKE ME TO THE MANAGER!” “Madam-“ “NOW!” “Madam, there’s a rabbit in your-“ “MANAGER!” -------------------------
It took a while to clear up Estrelas’ confusion, forty-five minutes to be exact.
The manager was angry, and Estrelas was angry, and the waiter was just trying to make the two cooperate and agree on something!
Meanwhile, Angel needed to pee and thought that a tray of freshly-made polenta left on the ground and a litterbox looked too much alike. The question of why was there a rabbit in the restaurant when there was a hygienic standard to be maintained lasted twenty minutes. This was a third of an hour of Estrelas explaining that Angel wasn’t just some country bumpkin of a rabbit; she was a French rabbit, couldn’t they see? The manager yelled something in Italian, and the waiter translated that Il Pane Dorato had something against rabbit hair everywhere. Estrelas countered that Angel wasn’t shedding, and she was a paying customer. The manager asked her politely to take the rabbit and leave, but Estrelas insisted she had a reservation.
Everything was resolved when Estrelas and the manager realized that they were both fans of Crème, which, to the manager was the hit Milan--based string Quartet, and to Estrelas, was a type of custard made by whipping eggs at high speed.
Of course the manager spoke in Italian and Estrelas spoke in Portuguese, so both only got the barest jist (unfortunately an inaccurate jist) of what the other was saying, and the manager went away thinking that the younger generation wasn’t all into crap rap and punk rock and that there were people with decent musical tastes; and Estrelas finally sat down at her table to order, assuming that custard was still a popular festival food. “Ah saved up my pocket money for four weeks for this,” Estrelas told the waiter. “Ah weel treat Angel and Ah to a fine Indonesian food-“ “Miss, this is a Italian restaurant-“ “Yes, yes, we will love the Italian food, no?” she said, trying to imitate the wording of the rich French lady from that one M&G black and white film. “Angel can order first…” Estrelas mumbled, leafing through her menu. “Well, Miss Angel...” The waiter smiled sheepishly to the rabbit, wondering what his mom would think of him trying to talk to a giant rabbit. “May I get you started on something to drink?” Angel glared at him and chewed on the corner of her menu. “Whoa, no offense, I mean, I you really want to eat the menu that’s okay, but there are better things to eat…” Angel scratched her nose and lay down on the table. “I know there are so many good things to eat, it might be hard to make a choice… May I suggest for you...” Oh holey moley, what do rabbits eat? the man thought frantically. “May I suggest the Carrot Bisque?” Angel stared. “Okay, so you’re probably lactose intolerant… How about salad… Yes, salad… With fresh garden greens? And… Like… Ummm… Extra carrots on top?” Angel didn’t respond. But she didn’t say “No” either. “Okay then…” “And Ah would like four orders of tiramisu,” Estrelas declared. The waiter did happen to notice that this strange woman ordered four deserts, but he took the order anyways. “Okay… Coming right up then…” --------------------------------------------------
By the end of the meal, Estrelas was full of praises for the restaurant and the “Oh my so good service.” “And eet ees so un-expensive! Ah still have a week’s worth of pocketmoney left,” she crowed. “Although the dinner was a bit sweet.” That was probably because you ordered only dessert and a salad for the furball, the waiter thought wryly, but the 150% tip (Estrelas had no idea that 15.0 meant 15, not 150) kept him quiet. “Tell the manager Ah will bring all my friends here! Oh, dear Eponine’s from the 18th century; she’s from the future, you see… You can tell the manager we’ll come back soon! Good-bye and thank you!”
When the news reached the manager that that “weirdo chick” was coming back and bringing her friends, he decided to invest in a translator and some world history lessons.
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Posted: Sat May 12, 2007 7:25 pm
What I Will Not Do Mista Sain said something about a New Recruit. Of course you would know that even I was once a "New Recruit", as professional and trustworthy and dependable as I am. Of course I will not pick on the New Recruit. Here is a list of things I will not do, according to overly-not-subtle hints from various people. 1. I will not force them to haul manure from one side of the gardens to the other. 2. I will not force them to help me farm, because they say that whatever I do with my "God-Damn Free Time" is my "Own ******** Problem." 3. Embroidering their clothes without permission is "Simply Not Acceptable" because not everyone likes Portugese Festival patterns. I will acknowledge that not everyone wants to wake up and find out that they look like they've "been through a Portuguese madwoman." 4. I will not laugh and say, "Hee-Hee, she is obviously pregnant" because she is obviously not. 5. I will not try to get them to stick their heads in the "Heater Ventilation" section of the ceiling. 6. My underwear is not suitable attire for a welcoming party, no matter how much certain persons would like that. 7. A good Catholic woman like me is not supposed to convert them to God's word using a garden spade. 8. No one cares that I don't know what "abortion, condoms, and Playboy" are, so those are not suitable questions to ask. 9. If I am to bring Angel to meet a man, I have to "Keep That Crazy Rodent in Control" at all times. 10. No matter how many times I watch the moving picture Titanic, "Don't Let Go" is rarely a suitable greeting.
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Posted: Sat Jul 28, 2007 9:32 pm
Colors Written Febuary 14th 2007, edited and compiled June 28th 2007. Estrelas had not been quite normal for quite a while. No one noticed it that much either, or at least she hoped no one did. Ever since she was a child, she knew instinctively that everything she showed was like a pebble in the pool- what kind of ripples did she want to send out? Did she want the kind that people scowled at, seeing that it clouded an otherwise clear, gleaming surface? Or did she want to send out ripples that made people smile at the lively, artistic effect? But even stones can never hide everything. Occasionally someone noticed that uncharacteristically, Estrelas sulked. She hovered around the corners of the room sometimes, watching the others, rather than joining in herself. And when she wasn’t watching herself, the Portuguese woman gave of an air of certain moodiness and even a bit of awkward alienation? When she wasn’t watching herself, that was exactly how she felt. Normally the weather in her head was purple and full of occasional bursts of yellow and orange and red with an occasional rabbit and bright spotted dolphins- not weather the way normal people had it. Slowly, without her realizing it, the colors had faded like a wet sheep in the rain and turned normal, as in normal weather. Blue sky. Gray sky. Sunny, cloudy, partly-cloudy, rainy, foggy… Those were the minds of people. The colors had turned to something more Real, or Real as many called it. Estrelas was now effectively a rain cloud. Of course occasionally the rain let up a bit. All storms have to pause to take a breathe, and all numbness had to stop for a moment to gather itself again. She often thought of Eponine. Her constant barrage of messages, via intercom, letters, and embroidered handkerchiefs all went unanswered. The doorknob to Eponine’s room eventually fell off do to its constant abuse of “Hellooo Epo-NEENIE!” and rattling. Estrelas had screwed it back on with a ballpoint pen, super glue, and extreme care, and although it probably didn’t work anymore, every morning a rag was taken to polish the metal knob and slip a few more pieces of lined paper under the door. No one knew where her best friend was. Inquiries were met with shrugs and questions without answers. Estrelas’ cheery grin, which had become so bright and genuine under Eponine’s indirect tutorage, had become a bit more weathered and plastic. And just this morning, Estrelas shone the knob and slipped her newest thread-sewn message under the door. (She first used a thin wooden board to push aside the pile of notes already there.) She wondered what she had become. A long while ago, she had often lain awake listening to Eponine’s solos drifting in from her open window. One song where Eponine had sang “Love him… But only on my own…” had particularly stuck her in mind. Maybe it was because that was the song Eponine seemed to like best. Now she understood the aloof reality the song referred to. And at night, sometimes when Estrelas hovered in the twilight between sleep and reality, she imagined sparks of colors in her mind. She imagined Eponine, dolphins, and a purple winged rabbit with a halo that talked to her in a French accent. But when she woke up, it had all been a thought, something to remember the colors by.
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Posted: Thu Aug 09, 2007 9:56 pm
Dear Meestar Sian... Dear Meestur Sian, Enklohsed is a pikshure of Ehpaneen and Me in frunt of sum memoriyal where sum Jenerel or other dyed and got shot and got burrid, dunno why. Last nite We got ento kind of a fite wid the lokals but dunt worrie We are fine. Kind of, aniwais. At leest no wun will ask Me wether or not I am left-handed or rite-handed. And Ehpaneen sais that She will bee ayebell to yuse Her arm agen in a few days. And no wun can see whot hapened to My foot anywais so that dosent mattar. Und with My new blak aye I think I am verry fashyonabal bekase a lot of gurls were stuf on theyre eyes too. The food here is relly gud by the wei. We had sum dumpings. In kase Yu dunt no, a dumping is a taip of Shinys food that’s laik a bunsh of meet and vejtabals wraped in a dou theeng and Its relly gud. Than We ordar a theeng in Shinys and It was shewie and I thot It were relly gud until I fond owt It was jellifeesh and I had a ROW with the chef and He kiked Us too gurls out, so I guss I got food for free. Ehpaneen sad She had a Bad Stomach Ake so She didn’t eet noting, luky Her. In kase Yu didunt no, Meestur Sian, a jellifeesh is poysanus and can sting Yu bad. I hope I dunt dye frum eeting the theeng butt It wus kind of gud. I luv the hotell were staing at. Ehpaneen laiked the cockroches and the mouses but I thoht They was gross but I guess that hotells in Thees Parts considar cockroches and mouses good luck bekase there is a lot of the goshdurn things. I spent a lung taim in the bathrum and didunt c** owt for a lung taim, I blam the Shinys food with theyre jellifeesh and soi saus and stuff it c**t bee gud for a gud woman laik Me. I am wraiting this part of the lettar in the dark bekase I think it is Forin Polisie to turn of all the lights all of a suden bekase all of a suden the lamp started flikering and Ehpaneen said ‘Must be the Power in this old building’ and a lot of othar theengs I shudunt repeet here. Anywais we is having a verry gud taim here and It is verry fun. I tuk more pikshures and I will show You wen We get bak. I have a pikshure of a Forin Man in a Forin Bathrum, but I got chaised owt of the Forin Bathrum waile taking It. Foriners have the wirdest customs laik You are alowd to go ento the rooms with a persen in a dress on them but You are not alowd to go ento the rooms with a persen in pants on them. And wen I did it agin they took me on a tore of the sity and I got to see the inside of a polise bulding but Ehpaneen caim and took me awai frum the free tore. I hope that Anjal is not giving You to mutsh troble. She is a verry gud gurl relly butt She dose not seem to laik You verry mutsh I am sory abowt that. Were having a grate taim here! Miss You all! -Estrelas
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Posted: Fri Feb 15, 2008 10:49 pm
Study of Estrelas Eating
Estrelas.
She eats
And takes big sloppy bites
As if chewing everything that made the grain:
The sun smothering the earth from afar,
The thick soft earth smelling of old musty wet age,
The rain penetrating every particle of life,
All in one mouthful,
Every nibble granted the same consideration
The same courtesy, the same attention
They are all wonderful
As far as she knows.
She thanks God for two things:
A fine hearty meal
And the teeth to eat it.
Her mind grasps the pantry tighter than savings-
Money is only good to fill numbers
Slippery things to tote in the head
To reign in the mind
On an empty stomach.
While bread,
Solid and honest and true,
Bolsters the body and heightens the mind.
And in her eating she is sure
Like always, like anywhere
Where she stands
That her left foot thumps against her right
And her right still against her left
Her torso, fleshed out with snacks
Proudly arches.
And she knows
That if she were to leave
She would be missed.
Her foot is solid against the floor,
Every movement full and sure
Never trembling nor hesitant
But there, firmly there
And so crackling
As if she could not hold in
The sheer power
Of existing.
If the sun should choke
And the oceans pale
All of the ages faded to old brown paper,
Even a thousand-thousand years away
And her world becomes no more than a smudge on the sands
She will not be worried
She will not fret, she will not cry
Nor panic nor weep nor lament nor die
For she will always be real
As real as she sits
Eating.
But her manner is so pure and true
As wise as any sage,
If only if to see the sky
Above this earthly cage!
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Posted: Tue Jul 15, 2008 1:06 pm
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Posted: Thu Sep 11, 2008 8:15 pm
Things to Remember First thing, Estrelas, never decieve anyone, including yourself. In the end, lies are just lies, while the truth stands as it always was.
Second thing, Estrelas, never forget where you stand. You are surrounded by people, and those people are constantly running about and buffetting you. Their buffetting might move you from your place. If you ever stray away, keep your heart as a compass pointing back.
Third thing, Estrelas, always remember that each of us, no matter what choices or plans we make, are all of God's children on His green earth. We are all brother and sister, father and mother, husband and wife, and we might have our arguments and conflicts, but in the end we all must realize that we have an unbreakable love in that we are all human.
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Posted: Mon Nov 03, 2008 9:03 pm
Estrelas Wants to Fall in Love As Long As It's Convenient I want to fall in love one day so I can brag about it. Well. I want to fall in love. As long as it doesn't take too much time and isn't too much trouble and doesn't happen on Fridays or Sundays or from August to December. Back home, we don’t worry about that kind of stuff. Pigs yes. Eggs yes. Cabbage yes. But love? No. When you milk a cow you think about milk. Not love. Besides, it’d be something to talk about besides the more interesting things. Like cabbages. And donkeys. I mean, I know I’d rather talk about grain and the weather for harvest, but love it fine too. Not as many funny stories, but just in case. I’ll go fall in love after I finish everything on my to-do list. Might take a while. Who knows. I’d be able to go fall in love sooner if Mr. Sian just let me convert the library into a barn so I can get some cows. Eponine always has something interesting to say. I bet she can help me convince him to let me build a barn.
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Posted: Mon Nov 03, 2008 9:09 pm
Estrelas Hears LOTUS Is Getting More People And She Is Not Stupid
We get new recruits today.
They from land that no exist. Jah-my-caw. There no such place. Hmph. And Coria. Where that? Hmph!
I think they making fun of me. Seeing haha, who can make up places and Estrelas no know they no real! But I know! There no places!
Mista Sian tell me Jimica is near Americas. There no such places are Americas either. Why they so stupid? And Coria! Yes there is Cathay. I think he say Cathay. But there no such place as Coria.
I think they think I stupid. Well I not. I know that there no such places as Jimica and Coria. I look on map I bring from home. There no such place!
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Posted: Tue Jan 20, 2009 10:07 pm
Let Her Go. I shouldn’t be selfish.
Eponine is Eponine. She is not mine. She is not someone who I can cage and put down just because I’m scared to be alone. I have no right to prevent her from going just because I care about her, just because I’m afraid of what might happen to her. I have no right to stop her just because I don’t want to think about what might happen if something happens.
I can’t tie her down because I’m afraid for her. That would be unfair. The world is unfair, but that doesn’t mean that I have to be.
Don’t go into the shrublands, Estrelas. Don’t go into the cave. Don’t play in the water. Don’t pet strange animals and don’t talk to strange people. Estrelas, never be daring. Never be bold.
Mama wanted to protect me. I won’t say she was selfish. But she tried to protect me by stopping me. In the end, maybe that’s what drove me away. Now I’m here, and I wouldn’t trade me for anything.
Yes, Mama cared about me and wanted to protect me. But in the same actions, she held me back. I guess I realized that if I was to do anything in the world, I would have to forcibly break free of that protection.
I love Mama. She wouldn’t have wanted me to leave. She hides her tears behind happy words and congratulations. I miss everyone at home, but I feel that there is so much in this world I haven’t seen yet. Yes, I love Mama, but it was unfair that I had to suffer because of her own fears.
It would be unfair to cage anybody up.
Don’t be selfish, Estrelas. Let her go. She is her own person, not an accessory or extension of you. You love her, so let her go.
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Posted: Sun Feb 01, 2009 6:02 pm
Valentine Day! It Valentine Day! And Ah sign up for Valentine Day!
Valentine Day is when you give sweet and flower to lover and you get sweet and flower back. That is stupid. If you get sweet and flower back anyway, why you no just eat your own sweet and flower, and lover eat his own sweet and flower? That save time and confusion, because what if you get wrong kind of sweet or flower that make sneeze? Ah say this to people and they say That Not What It About. And then fat naked babies fly around and try to shoot you.
So for Valentine Day, people go meet someone new and talk. Ah not know what so special- that something you do everyday anyway, but Ah think it special talk or something. Ah no find flower, but Ah find better thing, because flower die, but you can always eat radish.
Also, Ah give sweet. Ah no find heart-shape box, but Ah find regular box and Scot Tape a heart to it, so that is okay. Ah find candy too. Ah not want to buy, see, so Ah find free sweet. They is pretty- little white wheel with red stripes. Mista Sian call them After Dinner Mint. Just in case, Ah also make headcheese for heart box.
Ah sign Epaninny up too. This time she meet nice boy, not stupid dumb idiot stupid jerk like in Maskarade. And Ah set her right- Ah give her bunch of radish and box with After Dinner Mint too, so we both do right.
If Ah was person in charge of Valentine Day, Ah make it not day, but everyday. Because it stupid if you have to wait for one day in year to say ‘like you very much’ and give radishes. People say, ‘Yes Estrelas, that very good idea,’ but they no do.
Ah hope Ah meet good young man with big farm and lot of cow.
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Posted: Wed Jun 24, 2009 12:41 pm
Love Estrelas is laying on her bed sewing. Eponine, how do you say that you love me? There are many ways I can tell you I love you. Since we are close, I can say ‘Eu te amo.’ How do I love you? How are we close? We are sister-close, friend-close, teacher-close, mother-close, twin-close. We are brother-close, father-close, guardian-close, protector-close. I tell you everything, and I feel everything. When I first arrived here, you were the first one I embraced. It is embarrassing, but I never have had such a close friend before. You are my first best friend. Sometimes I lie awake next to you and listen to your breathing, and then everything feels like it will be all right. I trust you, with my secrets and my life. But I also trust you with myself and my heart. I trust that because I give it to you, you will care for it. I hope that you do the same for me. But sometimes you seem like you are from another world. Then I say ‘Você te amo.’ You know so much and you can do so many things. You can use complicated machinery, and you can operate all these vehicles. And you know everything about the world. When I see that, I feel that we are separated. I am from a farm. You are from the future. I know how to help a cow deliver a calf, raise chickens, defend a home against bandits, and pick radishes. You might not know how to do all that, but I sometimes think that with all this technology, no one needs what I can do anymore. Mister Sian needs people who can fly a plane and talk to fancy powerful people. Sometimes you turn away and tell me that I wouldn't understand. How do I say that I love you? I cook you food that you take to your room and eat. I cook for you because I love you. It is sharing a part of me with you, and showing that I care about you very much. I wish I could see you eat, but it seems like eating is a secret for you. I would like to see you smile and swallow and hear you say that it is very good and warm. I would like to share a meal with you. I sew you things and patch your clothes. I do not want for you to go cold or wear plain clothes. You wear plain clothes. I can understand that; I too wear plain clothes because it is practical. But when you can dress up, you still wear plain clothes. I want you to wear special pretty dresses sometimes, because you are not a plain girl who blends in with everyone else. You are not one of a crowd. You are my Eponine and you are special and beautiful. You are not a scrap of cloth that can be ignored. I take you in my arms. You flinched at first, but then you let me embrace you. You are scared, scared of so many things. It will be all right. I will protect you. Your skin is cold sometimes, and I hope that the heat from my body will warm you up. How do we say that we love each other?
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