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 Posted: Fri Aug 11, 2006 10:47 pm
Highlight below if you aren't easily offended.
Dont read this if ur emo or easily offended, don't like what I say, sorry but i wanna post a rant too!!! ><
RANT: I hate those fcking emos, god damn get a life, your all posers. Emos can burn in hell dirty fcking fags, i dont care if your not a depressed emo, ur still an emo, im gonna single handedly bring the genocide of emos to this earth. im gonna be the hitler of emos. burn emos burn, burn emos burn.
OKAY, now that's off my chest
._. i wanna share a story simmilar to ismaire. I guess the first such incident of depression appeared to me when I was four, my aunt who was in her late teens was hosptialized from depression, i had later found out when i was about eight that she was a cutter which really scared me... Anywho, this is the story of all the painful memories in my life that I try to supress. Let's begin.
My family, the tradition asian family, they come from phillipine's baring all the tradition aspects of life, meaning, i have to eat a certain way, i have to talk a certain way, i have to be friends with certain people,and i can NEVER EVER get bad grades or else i will be an embarrasment to our family and if i don't follow their old styled rules i would be belted hard with a belt.
So anyways what my dad used to do to me when i was in grade one was lock me in my room and make me do math equations, and if i got a math equasion wrong, BAM belt time. I, who was only like six years old, assumed that this was the normal way of life. In grade three I believe I wrote in one of my school assignments "I hope I get good grades on my report card or my daddy will hit me with his belt and mommy love me" and my teacher read this, and haloo-halley i gained me and my family a trip to a social worker.
I dunno why but from that since on i've been a loner. Not an emo, god knows i'd never go emo, i've been just a loner. Never talking to anyone in real life, hardly smiling, the usual look on my face was a plain neutral look of anger mixed with sadness mixed with cheeriness. Everyone at school said that i had no emotions and i was an emo, and till this day i haven't been invited to one party since grade three. Anyways in grade five, a serious of events had gotten me seriously depressed, my mother had been diagnosed with thyroid cancer and had fallen increadibly sick, i even watched her hooked up to a bunch of machines, struggling to survive. my closest friend in the world, my cousin Miguel Perez was also diagnosed with cancer, leukimia he who unfortunatly didn't make it. And in grade six my grandma, my oldest dearest grandma passed away, leaving me alone on my 2005 christmas. My parents both at the hospital with my grandma, had left me and my brothers alone in a foreign country on christmas eve. It wasn't until new years that we recieved the word that our grandma had passed on. In grade seven (this year) I had gained a friend, I made friends with a sweet nice boy, who was also suffering from leukimia just like my cousin did. One day my friend was hospitalized, it was like a grim retelling of that horrible inciident, I watched my friend hooked up to machines, suffering silently. He passed away 02.14.05, I'll always rember the light and warmth he brought into my life.His departure was a string of hope that broke my loner-icity, it brought me to see life and try to live up to it's potentials.
Im standing here today, thirteen years of age, waiting and anticipating life in hope. Knowing that one day my mother shall be cured, that both my parents will unforutnatly die, that i'll fall in love and be married, i'll be a father and raise two children, that i'll die and be reunited with my cousin, my friends, and all other family.
I know my story cannot compare to the many other experinces of woe and pain others have experinced.
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Posted: Mon Aug 21, 2006 11:00 am
Hello?
I need some help. Or, I guess some suggestions. About my darling mother.
I discovered Gaia about a year ago, and I spend a lot of time on here RPing--not only in Ria, but just about everywhere. Now, I've been home most of the summer, with nothing much to do since most of my friends are on vacation, so I've been spending most of my time online. And my mom won't get off my case about it. She has even go so far as to threaten to take the power cord for my laptop away (although she hasn't done it yet), because she doesn't like me being on the internet. Now, I've explained to her that a) I'm not hanging out with stalkers...I think...or rapists; b) When I make up RPCs I make them totally different from me; c) I'd never give you people (much as I love you all) any of my real-life info unless you're people I KNOW in real life; and d) that I really don't have anything else to do until school starts. But she doesn't listen, and I'm about at the point of tearing my hair out the next time she tells me that you're all psycho stalker rapists who are all going to turn up in my room some night and kidnap me.
Oh, and by the way...*hugs kyuchii, ismaire, and just about everyone else*...
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Posted: Wed Aug 23, 2006 5:03 pm
GGRR...
Ok so I found out that it's official...I am moving to boring Ohio...and I am leaving my dear lovable California state! (I would so marry California if it was a person, I don't care if it was a guy or a girl, i love California way to much). All my friends gone, all my favorite places gone, all my favorite California brand name stores...gone.
::sigh:: for some odd reason I don't feel as sad as I did when I first learned that we Might leave. I think the reason why was because it was the beginning of summer and I was afraid that I might not see some peoples faces during that time. Since school has started I have seen all my friends and familiar faces, and it has made me smile!!
Bleh this means i only have 1 month to learn how to surf!!! Well this was my little rant...and schwaa!
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Posted: Thu Aug 24, 2006 6:09 am
@Torrinne: Unless you are a horribly idiotic gurl to give out your information to a complete stranger, there is very VERY slim chance some stalker is going to bother trying to find you through Gaia online. A good chance they will through Myspace over Gaiaonline. Unless they can hack your stuff and find out information from you through Gaiaonline (Which i doubt they would spend time hacking through Gaia online profiles instead of goverment computers) your pretty safe here >_<.
Mothers are supposed to be overprotective like that and she is a very very good mother for that. She dosen't want to loose something as precious as a daughter, but it is understandable that you may need a little freedom just to do the things you want to do. Eventually you may presuade her but just keep in mind the internet is indeed something new to some parents, unfamiliar grounds which they have not tread on may make them worried about their own children being on them.
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Posted: Fri Aug 25, 2006 3:13 pm
AWW! angeltrinity I know exactly how you feel! My dad was in the army, and I moved around a ton. I liked in Florida, Germany, Ohio (yes, it really is boring. I won't lie, especially compared to California), Georgia, Tennessee and soon Phoenix. It is extremely difficult to leave friends. Your close ones, you'll keep in touch with. Others sadly you'll never hear from again. Its scary, but eventually it does get better. I actually enjoy moving around now that I am older, but when I was a teenager I hated it. If you need someone to talk to, you can IM me because I do know what you are going through.
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Posted: Sat Sep 16, 2006 2:07 pm
OMG thank you Ame you are such a good friend!!! <3
((read in valley girl voice for fun lol))
Ok so like for the past few weeks, my life has been full of drama!! Seriously it's like Laguna Beach!! Anyways...my house has dropped through and is back on the market. Apparantly our buyers were dumb idiots who didn't know anything. However we are still moving like on the 29th of September, so ya. My house is full of boxes and I cannot find anything in my house. My parents are screaming at one another and school is being a total b***h to me!
On the side note my best friend is so much more popular then me, and it makes me so jelous!! I mean I still like her and everything, and I think it would be stupid to get in a fight just to prove who is more popular, but I really want to be the most popular!! And like it just drives me insane sometimes because people notice her first and than me. Oh well, at least I am more popular then my other best friend, but whatever. Ok and like my other friend is totally having boy problems because like she likes him but all he does is play games with her, and it's like OMG a whole new different story. And like, I don't know, I kind of feel like I am slowly drifting away from my friends and I just don't know what to do. UGH, I don't know!
Ok so like I am moving to Ohio, and like I really just want to go up and take over the school (like be the most popular one) but like I don't want to like do it right away because people might think I am hella concieted and s**t and they don't want to be like my friends. So I was just thinking that I should be hella nice at first and then turn into a total b***h (OK no not really). But like I don't want to become the popular kid if it means I have to become all bitchy and crap, like I want to be the nice popular girl. Kind of like Tessa and Rocky from Laguna Beach season 3!! I want to be like them, nice and stuff. Ugh but I would hate to turn into Cami and Kyndra because they are totally bitchy and talk crap about Tessa and Rocky behind there backs which is so stupid! And I think it is so stupid because usually you think the guys are all mean and stuff, but it is the girls that can be evil. Like seriously girls are evil when they want to be. Like my slogan, Guys are stupid, Girls are evil. Anyways I am just blabbing on about life and popular kids and stuff...but like seriously, I started to talk about my drama, then I started to talk about other people's drama...0_o crazy.
Oh and I also found out that California's most overrated word is OMG and "like" lol
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Posted: Sat Sep 16, 2006 7:46 pm
XD It's OK, Tiff. That means you'll be moving closer to me heart (even though you don't know me very well sweatdrop ) and you're also moving closer to kurai. so. there ya go XD
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Posted: Wed Sep 27, 2006 3:32 pm
Alright. So. See, there's this guy I used to be friends with last year when we were in the same class. But then I find out he likes me... and it gets all warped. He started looking at me all the time and asked me to the dance. I didn't want to be rude, so I accepted. I feel bad... like as if I was leading him on or something. Because I don't find him attractive AT ALL.
But then my friend gives him my NUMBER and ADDRESS (She's in Ria somewhere. XD). So during the summer, he kept calling me and when I asked what he wanted, he'd say 'Uhhh...' and then I'd hang up. And I saw him outside my house one day. Did I mention he followed me home after school one day? Oh well.
Now... I catch him looking at me even though we're not in the same class or anything and I'm scared that if he still likes me, he'll ask me out or something... and I'll feel REALLY bad if I reject him. I don't really... reject people often... so what should I do if he does? TT________________TT
((Also, the idea of anybody liking me kinda creeps me out. I'm hideous. See?))
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Posted: Wed Sep 27, 2006 3:40 pm
--------------||||||||||||||||| ...Rosette ish mean to Johnny!!!
YOU MAKE IT SEEM LIKE HE DOES...REALLY BAD STUFF XDDD
He asked you out to the dance, but you didn't dance with him and he didn't want to dance with you. REMEMBER?! Dx Me and Natanya had to make you two dance, but you didn't ;-;
..TELL HIM TO STOP FOLLOWING YOU! You are mean enough xDD
...
...
PAN ISH BOOTY-FUL
XDD ||||||||||||------------------
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Posted: Wed Sep 27, 2006 3:41 pm
You're still cute, and its ur personality that makes you prettier Rosette^__^
And every rejection hurts, guys take it better than girls. they're less dramatic XDDDD They'll get over it, just dont beat around the bush if he ever askes you out. Just tell him you don't like it. He'll understand.
And scary, he's like being a stalker...>_<
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Posted: Wed Sep 27, 2006 3:50 pm
Shut up, Sahara, he really did do that. And I was sitting on the table and he's all 'Come on, Wendy.' and I'm like 'No. I want to sit.' And he said 'Why? It's a table.' and I was all 'Well, if you don't like it, you can sit too.' and he walked off.
He said he'd settle it and ask me out again. I'm gonna reject him. I hope. And I'm not mean. WOULD YOU BE HAPPY?
And thanks, Pi. XD
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Posted: Wed Sep 27, 2006 3:53 pm
Well, I don't know about him, but it sucks to have someone going out with you by pity. It's actually very painful I bet...>_<;; Break a leg Rosette!^___^
and you're welcome!^__^
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Posted: Wed Sep 27, 2006 3:55 pm
--------------||||||||||||||||| But still, we still feel sorry for him XD
But seriously, just tell him to stop. You never did. He wont know that he's doing something bad if you don't tell him. ||||||||||||------------------
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Posted: Wed Sep 27, 2006 3:59 pm
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Posted: Wed Sep 27, 2006 4:00 pm
--------------||||||||||||||||| Yay! ^^
And if that doesn't work..then.. --Can't believe I'm gonna say this--
...
b***h at him. And harshly.
D<
I mean..He does deserve it..right? DDX
I now officially feel bad for him. Poor Johnny D: ||||||||||||------------------ omgnowIfeelbadforhim
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