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| Family Guy!! |
| HALARIOUS!! |
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95% |
[ 45 ] |
| SUCKS!! |
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0% |
[ 0 ] |
| So/So |
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4% |
[ 2 ] |
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| Total Votes : 47 |
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 Posted: Wed Jul 26, 2006 9:50 pm
The Little Griffins
Lil Peter: If im here, and your there, and Istanbul is in this general area, who the heck is that?!?
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Posted: Wed Jul 26, 2006 9:54 pm
The Super Griffins
Town meeting break in
Citizen: (talking to Meg) What's your power?
Meg: (grows out nails)
Citizen: Well thats a stupid power.
Meg: (scratches him on the arm)
Citizen: OWWWWwwww!!! That kinda hurt! Is it bleeding? No, i guess it's ok, but ouch thoguh!
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Posted: Thu Jul 27, 2006 6:50 am
Meg: Thanks alot, because of you, i have to move to an entirely didfferent school. wait to go lardo.
Peter: Hey I didnt do anything!
Meg: I was talking to Chris.
Peter: Oh... yeah you lardo.
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Posted: Thu Jul 27, 2006 7:20 am
(Lois walks in on Stewie turturing a bully)
Stewie: We're playing house...
Lois: But that kid is all tied up!
Stewie: Roman Polanski's house.
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Posted: Thu Jul 27, 2006 7:23 am
Tom Tucker: A bit of breaking news. A local family is forced out of their house by ghosts. Who are they gonna call?
Diane Simmons: (sighs) Ghostbusters, Tom
Tom Tucker: No, Diane. Their insurance company. Thats just stupid what you said
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Posted: Thu Jul 27, 2006 7:31 am
Peter: Oh my god, Brian, there is a message in my Alphabits. It says OOOOoooo!!
Brian: Peter those are Cheerios
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Posted: Thu Jul 27, 2006 7:37 am
Peter: Im afraid I have some very bad news. Your wife's gonna be a vegetable. Your gonna have to bathe her, feed her, and care for her for the rest of your life.
Guy: OH MY GOD!!
Peter: No no no, im just kiddin. She's just dead.
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Posted: Thu Jul 27, 2006 7:49 am
Pat Sajak: Alright Peter, you’ve made it to the bonus round. Congratulations!
Peter: Thanks Regis.
Pat Sajak: Okay, the category is actor and show, so we need five consonants and a vowel.
Peter: Uhh, ok… Uhhmmm… Z, four, Q (slight pause), another Q, uhhh… a third Q and the batman symbol.
Pat Sajak: OK no help there, umm… 15 seconds if you want to take a shot at it, talk it out.
Peter: Is it Alex Karras in Webster?
Pat Sajak: (slowly) I don’t believe it.
Peter: Oh my god, I just took a shot in the dark! Holy crap!!
Pat Sajak: OK you have thirteen hundred dollars, why don’t you go ahead and pick out some prizes from our showcase?
Peter (floating through room of prizes): Okay let's see, uhh… oh boy everything looks nice, uhmm… alright I'll take the ceramic dalmatian for six hundred, and uhh… boy that TV looks nice, uhmm.. uhh.. gimme the one free week of maid service, and uhh… I'll take the hat rack, uhhmm… hey how much for that fat guy in the circle, I don’t see a price tag on that.
Announcer voice: That’s you.
Peter: Oh, oh, embarrassing, uhm.. okay well in that case I'll take the rest on a gift certificate.
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Posted: Thu Jul 27, 2006 7:54 am
Lois: Honey, what do you say we uh...christen these new sheets, huh?
Peter: Why Lois Griffin, you naughty girl.
Lois: Hehehe...that's me.
Peter: You dirty hustler.
Lois: Hehehehe...
Peter: You filthy, stinky prostitute.
Lois: Aha, ok I get it...
Peter: You foul, venereal disease carrying, street walking whore.
Lois: Alright, that's enough!
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Posted: Thu Jul 27, 2006 3:21 pm
Peter (to Meg): Remember that pony you wanted when you were 6? Well I've been waitin for a time like this.
(opens closet door and a skeleton of a pony is there)
Peter: Oh, oh god, that's right ponies, ponies like food.
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Posted: Thu Jul 27, 2006 3:22 pm
Meg: Finally, look Mom I've had it. I'm not babysitting anymore. It's Saturday night I could be out having a life.
Lois: Meg, if you don't wanna babysit anymore that's fine, but don't you stand there and lie to me.
Peter: OH-HO Meg, she torched your a** man! She torched your a**.
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Posted: Thu Jul 27, 2006 3:28 pm
Black Knight: You see kids, your father is nothing but a fizzle!
(Peter reappears in armour and on a horse.)
Peter: Nobody calls me a fizzle and gets away with it! Except for that one guy who called me a fizzle and then ran away, he got away with it. But most of the people who call me a fizzle don't get away with it! Actually he was the only guy to ever call me a fizzle, but after today only half the people who have ever called me a fizzle will have gotten away with it!
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Posted: Thu Jul 27, 2006 3:34 pm
Stewie: How you uh, how you comin' on that novel you're working on? Huh? Gotta a big, uh, big stack of papers there? Gotta, gotta nice litte story you're working on there? Your big novel you've been working on for 3 years? Huh? Gotta, gotta compelling protaganist? Yeah? Gotta obstacle for him to overcome? Huh? Gotta story brewing there? Working on, working on that for quite some time? Huh? (voice getting higher pitched) Yea, talking about that 3 years ago. Been working on that the whole time? Nice little narrative? Beginning, middle, and end? Some friends become enemies, some enemies become friends? At the end your main character is richer from the experience? Yeah? Yeah? (voice returns to normal) No, no, you deserve some time off.
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Posted: Thu Jul 27, 2006 3:38 pm
Kidnapper: You know I've got some candy in my van if your kid wants some.
Lady: Oh great! (She's about to hand kid to kidnapper...) Huh! Wait a second!
Kidnapper: Aww, you got me! You got me! Oh...
I'll get him though, I'll get him.
Lady: I bet you will! I bet you will..,
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Posted: Thu Jul 27, 2006 3:41 pm
(Guy walks up to Peter and kicks him in the nuts.)
Peter screams.
Lois: Oh, my god! What are you doing?
(Peter is still screaming.)
Lois: What's wrong with you?
Peter: What the hell, man?
Guy: Hurts, doesn't it?
Peter: What the hell do...? Yes! What the hell's your problem?
Guy (laughs): My friend, my friend...
Peter: Ow! Ow! What?!
Guy (pointing at camera): You've been kicked in the nuts!
Peter: No way!
Guy (laughs): You're gonna be on TV.
Peter (shaking guy's hand): Oh, sweet!
Lois: Oh wow!
Peter: Oh, my god!
Lois: We love that show!
Peter (waving at camera): Oh, that is awesome! Hey, hi.
Guy: You're on it!
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