Welcome to Gaia! ::

Aubrey frowned. Poor woman... Jamal was not the best hosts for "Weclome to the Island"... at least she would gather.

"Aye, well 'turning into a tiger' implies he will be a physical tiger. Thats not exactly the case. The end result is kind of a mix of man and animal. His serum is tiger, however."

"Hopefully at the end, yes, Jamal will still be able to walk on two legs yes."

She paused for a moment.

"And yes... you will also be affected Miss Yamamoto, I'm sorry. We are hoping the transformation will have regenerative effects on your hand." Aubrey brough her file up on her computer. "I can tell you, if you want me to. But thats at your descretion."

"Snow Leopard, Miss Yamamato. You're luckier than most. Dr. Duvert is not usually so nice."

She sighed.

"I say nice very losely, of course. But you'll run itno some islanders and know what I mean."

"Of course, Miss Yamamoto. We have a profossor on the island as well. Mr. Rivers. And we'll take good care of your hand, I promise. Don't be afraid to ask for anything. You'll be living here, and we intend to make it as comfortable as we can"

"Yes, there's a library in the Town Center, there should be plenty of information for you to look through there."

Kikue sat in her room, the door locked and a book balancing on her lap. She had slipped outside after talking to Dr. Lockheart and scouted out what must have been the "Town Center." She found numerous books on all different kinds of animals inside. Wanting desperately to be alone, she grabbed a book on "big cats and their fossil relatives" from a pile of discarded magazines and retreated back to her duplex. All she wanted to do was be alone.

She hadn't been able to open the book after she came back. She'd left it on the floor and laid in her bed for some time, thinking. Eventually the thoughts were too nagging, and she groped for the book without looking at the floor, grabbing it and pulling it to herself on the bed.

Seated with her back to the wall, the book sat looking up at her from her lap. Turning the pages slowly, Kikue found herself flipping past pictures of cats she had never even heard of before; medium-sized ones that lived in jungles. The main information in the book was about the bigger cats : lions, and tigers. "Oh my," Kikue added under her breath, finding the allusion not funny at all. She turned another page slowly.

Her mind was still reeling from what she had learned. The doctor over the intercom had been so calm about the entire thing; as if Jamal saying he was turning into a tiger was perfectly ordinary. Remembering Jamal's face and large paw-like hands, she pushed another page in the book over. How can this be real. It feels so much like a dream.

I was nervous on the way here for leaving otousan without telling him, and that was for treatment for my hand. How can it be nothing like that? How could they lie to me so easily?

She'd flipped past at least three pages about lions without even looking at the words or the photographs. Suddenly feeling aggravated, she flipped to the index and ran her finger down the glossy page.

Size...skeleton...skull...Smilodon?...Smilodontini?... What in the world is that?

Below the strange index entries she found it : "Snow leopard. See Panthera uncia."

She flipped to the page on the "Smilodon" entry out of curosity. Blinking in astonishment, she saw a saber-toothed cat lunging on prey. It had such bulk in its shoulders that it was somewhat hunched; its two massive teeth growing from its upper jaw. Clearly it was an extinct cat, but it unnerved her. She flipped back quickly to the index.

Finding the correct entry for snow leopard, she thumbed through the pages. Turning the last page over slowly, she found herself staring into the eyes of the creature itself. She sunk a bit into the bed, holding the book as steady as she could. There it is.

She read the section on physical description :

"The snow leopard is a pantherine cat, but is not considered one of the great cats because it cannot roar. Males are significantly larger then the females. They have thick long fur that is between 1-2 inches long all over, shorter on the back, and longer on the belly. Dark black rosettes and spots flank its light grey to light cream-colored fur. Their fur color becomes lighter in the winter. Snow leopards have a stocky body set on very short legs, which is odd for a non-arboreal cat because these are the physical characteristics of an arboreal cat. It has a very long, heavily furred tail, and large paws. Their hind legs are longer than their front legs, similar to the lynx, which is an adaptation to living in areas of thick snow. Their head is more rounded, and they are smaller than true leopards (Panthera pardus)."

Feeling ill, Kikue kept her breath steady and calm, but the words she read were heavy. This would be happening to her. She understood Dr. Lockheart's comment on her being lucky; she could have easily become a snail or a squid or some other strange creature. It was twisted to consider this lucky.

Her hands left the book as she held them up in front of herself. They were her hands -- one draped in a thick bandage, the other still healthy. Her skin was smooth and human. She brought them to her chest, remembering how much mother would remark about her having the same elegant hands that she did. Soon, they would disappear, growing into paws like Jamal's had begun to do. She could not stop it.

The pictures in the book called her back. If only this had been different; seeing this animal in a book or from afar, she would have thought it beautiful. It was different to see yourself take on its appearance. The thought sounded insane again, but she made herself remember Jamal. I saw him. I saw his hands. I called the labs and they told me this right out. There's nothing I can do. I have to keep reading. I have to know some of what to expect. I have to keep going.

She made herself read it. The entire chapter. She read about the snow leopard's extremely long tail, which it wrapped over its face to keep warm. The large, heavily furred paws; the retractable claws and the ability to jump incrediable heights. Then there were the other parts of the cat : what of those? They seemed to stay alone, unless mating. And they were territorial.

Pulling out some blank pages from her journal, she took a pencil from her bag and began writing hastily, trying to stay distracted. Scribbling fast in her cursive English, she tried to write down anything that might be suspect since the injection. "Have I felt anything?" she wondered quietly to herself, looking at the book for direction to take.

"There." She tapped her finger on the page. The environment the cat lived in was quite cold. Last night this island had been so beautiful, but all she could think about going outside this morning was how hot and muggy it was. Was that suspect? Or was that just natural? She'd also wanted to be alone after hearing about the Island. But that had to be natural. I usually like to be alone anyway...

Frustrated, she pushed the papers onto the window sill and left them somewhat crumpled there, the pencil next to them. She didn't want to think about this right now. She pushed the cat book off the bed wtih her foot, curling up in the silence of her room. There was the occasional song of a bird outside the window. She curled up tighter, trying to block it out. I can't believe this is happening to me.

Otousan was trying to stop me from going to therapy...I agreed to this. I said I would go. But I agreed to go to an intensive theraputic facility somewhere in the States. They said I qualified for it; they said my hand would be fixed here. Now I show up, and people are being injected to merge with animals in some kind of crazy experiment? Doesn't this only happen in books or movies?

She leaned up off the bed, flicking the lights off in the room. She craved the darkness, to hide in. To hide from this insane idea. It was insane...but it was also real. She hadn't felt the fever that Duvert had mentioned to her the night before; she hadslept through it, just like she thought she would. But the injection spot was still there, on her bad arm. Even faintly sore if she pushed it gently. It had not been for a tropical disease like Duvert had said. Lockheart said he chose it himself, right there. I had only looked over at him for a moment. A cabinet of liquids, and he was peeking through them. I thought he was looking for the right one for my size; something like that. He was choosing an animal.

A tear slipped down her face. She brushed it away, annoyed by it, but not trying to stop herself. Otousan had no idea where she was. True he was probably drinking himself to death without her to try and stop him, but she had thought this would be different. She had expected to be gone for some time, but to come home healed. To walk back and be more able to put their lives back together. Now she could never go back. Who knew if she might even force him to become sick, from these serums? Wouldn't I be in quarantine if that were the case?

Oh, but she was. She could not get off this island.

Putting a hand over her face, Kikue struggled to keep herself from crying. She could barely stop herself. Although she didn't cry all over herself, she rubbed away tears constantly for the next fifteen minutes, sniffing audibly. Damn... She so rarely swore. This seemed like the right time to do it.

She was stuck her. She had an animal serum in her veins right now. "That is what I know," she whispered to herself, holding up her hand as if talking to herself in the mirror. "I know what is happening. Which means I have to find a way to deal with it." I can't just sit in this bed and cry myself a river. No. I know what is happening; what my situation is. Now I have to work with it.

A strange thought came to her. If the clinic employees back home had told her exactly what was happening here, but that it might fix her hand when nothing else could, would she have still done this?

A cold, sinking feeling in her stomach was all she felt while mentally silent. It seemed so insane. But if her hand would have been forever crippled...if this was all that might let her play again...would she do it?

"I think I would," she got out painfully, covering her face with her good hand. "I think I would have done it." She didn't know whether she should feel shame, or guilt. Was a choice like that selfish? But I would have wanted to go back out into the world, not stay here. Could I even...I would be killed, probably. They would not acccept me.

She was torn. Was that her fate, then? To undergo this mutation, to play again? Only to never be able to play for anyone? What was the good in it? She began to even question whether her existence indeed mattered.

Instantly, she was angry for thinking it. Of course I matter. If to no one but myself, I still matter. I cannot go back home, and I may never see London. But I still have me. I have myself. Only I can bring myself so low. I affect the people here, like Jamal. There is still an audience to play for, and even if there wasn't, an audience of one is still an audience. I play to play, not to become famous, not to make money. I play because I can do so. I play to live.

The emotion rushed up in her chest, and she felt oddly at peace in the darkness of her room. I don't know if I can even touch another person who isn't under this same spell. Perhaps even there might be a time when my playing could be recorded her, and broadcast. When the experiments are presented. I will stay play. I play for this world, and the ones that come after it. Her thoughts felt so deep inside her that she thought they might even be silly, but she knew she believed them. I know my situation, which is something in itself. What I need to do now is continue to look at my animal and make as many observations as possible. I need to get a map of this island. And whether these doctors feel they are moral or not, for leading people here on mostly false pretenses, it is not right. I don't think I can ever leave, but I must keep my eyes open.

She resolved to write only in Japanese except when communicating with someone else. Otherwise, would keep everything, anything she typed on her computer or wrote, in her other language. It was probable that she was under constant survelliance, and even if the doctor's were somehow all fluent in Japanese, she might be at least a little difficult about this. Simply for being lied to.

She began making various plans in her head. She needed to keep on of her studies, and there was a professor here somewhere, too. That would be beneficial, but he probably couldn't teach everything. She would need materials. Also, she should tell Jamal about her serum, she decided. I don't know if he thinks of me as a friend, but I consider him thonly one I have currently. I think it's best to share whatever I know. He has been here longer than me.

Another idea. She should keep a list of who she met and what animal they thought or were actually changing into. And, too, why they were brought here. That would create a better picture of what the motives for the labs were.

Labs...labs... F...Feral. Feral Labs. It was on the Jeep Dr. Duvert drove me here in. Is that the name of the company?

To have be functioning as far as Japan, why, they could be huge. She had no idea. She let her mind drift on it a while...

Stretching on top of her sheets, she curled up again and decided to take a short nap. She felt worn out from everything, and sleep seemed like a remedy. Dozing off, her mind was filled with the pictures from the book : a large cat laying on its side next to her, sleeping soundly.

Kikue sat in her room, facing her computer screen. She'd begun unpacking her belongings, knowing she'd be staying a while. The word "forever" sat in the back of her mind, but she didn't have to use it. She simply knew and understood it. After unpacking her clothes into the dresser of drawers in her room, she'd set up her computer on the desk as well as a small number of small trinkets from home. She wasn't done setting up yet, but she considered what she was doing on the computer important enough to take a break.

The screen flashed back at her. Her OS was completely in Japanese, having gotten the laptop while in Japan. She scrolled through the Start menu, clicking on a program. It opened. She made a new database, choosing the text input areas as appropriately as she could.

Name:

Gender:

Nationality:

Serum:

Duplex #:

Why brought here:

When brought here:

Additional notes:


She tapped her finger on the keyboard. That was really all the information she saw as important to collecting. If I can make a kind of roster for us, I might be able to glean the motives of the staff better. Also, it would be good to see exactly what they are doing animal-wise. 'Know thy enemy,' wasn't that how the coined phrase went? However, Kikue saw it just as important to know thyself, for if you knew nothing about who you were, how could you even begin to know your enemy?

She didn't consider the staff outright enemies yet. She was extremely suspicious, but not hateful. Never hateful. Hate would only cloud her judgement. She needed to remain focused, and calm. The first step was always to learn. In this case, she had to learn about her fellow Islanders, and she figured that even such a directory would be helpful to everyone. In this way, they might even have an easier way of communicating with each other, and if new Islanders came, they might easily locate people in this way. Since she was also writing down the serum, she thought, it would also be easier to make accomidations for people.

Say she wanted to meet the other Japanese girl on the Island, and she was a new Islander. Looking at this information would tell her where the girl was if she knew her name ( the duplex number ) and what the girl's animal was, so that she could make accomidations if going to visit. Maybe if the girl was a cat, Kikue could offer to bring some of her own food with her, or something like that. The thought made Kikue feel a better sense of community, rather than a detached hit-or-miss way of finding people. She knew very few people, or where to find them. This would help, right?

Also, I'll include gender to make some charts about how many people the labs are bringing in, etc. It might also be helpful for newcomers too. The duplex number being included helps me know where they live, but then I can call them from the intercom as well...can't I?

She glanced behind herself to the intercom hanging on the wall. No doubt the labs could see everything she was doing right now, but she didn't care in the least. For one thing, everything she typed and read on her computer was in Japanese. They would have to translate it, at the very least. She only had her computer plugged into the wall by the power cord; no network cable. She hadn't even seen a jack for one. Did the Island have a network for Islanders in the first place?

Kikue returned to the database. Typing was painful with her injured hand. She couldn't type half as fast as she had been able to; constant rest for her hand was needed when doing this. Still, she made progress.

#1 #2
Name: Jamal ???
Gender: Male
Nationality: ???
Serum: White Tiger
Duplex #: 007
Why brought here: ???
When brought here: ???
Additional notes: n/a


#2 #3
Name: Nita ???
Gender: Female
Nationality:
Serum: Red Panda
Duplex #: 042
Why brought here: ???
When brought here: ???
Additional notes: n/a


Pausing, Kikue realized that the "additional notes" section might actually be best put to use if she allowed the Islanders themselves to donate the information. Perhaps something about a medical condition, a favorite hobby, or something else, would be beneficial to the database. Maybe, too, the "nationality" section could be optional. So might not know theirs or not wish to say. But it's important to look at that, isn't it? I'll think on it; maybe ask Nita for her opinion.

Oh! I almost forgot to add myself, too. She opened a new set of entries and renumbered the previous ones.

#1
Name: Yamamoto Kikue
Gender: Female
Nationality: Japanese
Serum: Snow Leopard
Duplex #: 048
Why brought here: Intensive theraputic facility somewhere in the States (for injured hand).
When brought here: May 28, 2006.
Additional notes: I have an injured hand that makes it hard for me to do certain tasks. I like to read and learn. My favorite food is a type of sashimi.


Pausing to look over her entry, she realized she had not included age. She thought on doing so for a moment, but decided that it would truly have to be optional, since she knew a lot of people were not prone to handing out the information. It didn't matter much really; she wanted the database to provide information to the Islanders themselves, and the input she'd already listed was sufficient to generate quite a few charts that might hint at what the labs was doing. This was good for a start.

She saved the database and stood up from her desk chair. Returning to her bags, she began sorting through some of the other things she had brought. "I wish I'd brought more of my study texts," she murmured to herself, taking out a few textbooks and workbooks and walking them over to a shelf. She put one after other on. Hopefully the Island professor will have some materials as well; I brought a number of subjects with me, but to bring everything would have been much too heavy. Maybe she could request some from the labs.

Sifting through the rest of her bags, she pulled out one book in particular, bound in dark purple. On the front was a raven, hovering over a crown with a sword through it. The title, written in gold, read : Prinz und Rabe.

Kikue ran her hand gently over the cover, then held it to her chest protectively; she hugged it to herself. Standing up, she placed the book beside the others on the shelf, but paused to look at it as it sat there. Finally tearing her gaze away, she resumed unpacking again.

As far as clothes went, she had brought yukata with her since it was summer, although there were some sets of Western clothes as well. She had brought one kimono with her. This she had not felt she could leave, having it been her mothers. She fingered the silk lovingly before putting it away with the other clothes.

Something caught her eye in pocket of one of her bags. Slipping it out, she realized it was her cell phone, white with silver snowflakes on it. Her hands began to shake slightly. Without a second thought, she flipped the cover open and dialed in her home phone number. Not daring to breathe, she brought the phone to her ear, listening.

There wasn't even a tone. The phone closed the connection immediately, having no service. She stared at the screen, frustrated to tears. Of course it wouldn't work. She tried again.

'No service.' 'No service.' The screen blatantly shouted at her in Japanese. No service!

Closing the phone, she moved away from her bags and sat with her bag against her bed. She toyed with the phone in her hands, teary-eyed very suddenly. Noticing a book by her foot, she saw the 'Big Cats and Their Fossil Relatives' volume looking back at her.

It was painful to even read the title, now. She picked it up and stared at the concept drawing of some strange extinct cat on the cover, wondering what her otousan would think if he heard her say that she would be turning into a cat. He would probably scoff at her. Such representations were common in Japanese animation. Little girls with kitty ears and tails and cat-like habits. Maybe Duvert had thought of that in the far back of his mind, too. But this was no ordinary cat...this leopard. This was something else.

Sighing, she let her head roll back. She stared up at the ceiling for a time.

'No ordinary cat.'