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 Posted: Wed Sep 20, 2006 2:11 pm
I don't understand some fetishes, but I think there isn't really something to understand. Pending a much more intimate degree of knowledge on the inner workings of the human psychosexual process, be it genetic, environmental, or whatever, fetishes aren't something you get, they're something you feel. Some concept flows through your head, connects wires to other wires and makes them go "fzp!" in a pleasing way that resonates in your erogynous zones.
About feeder/feedee stuff, I think it's really more the journey than the goal. I think bigger is better in the opposite sex, but the actual concept of a girl gaining, outgrowing old clothes, eating more and talking about her growing weight, is much more sensual and attractive than any particular size. It's more a case of being attracted to a bigger[/] girl than a girl with a particular degree of bigness, althought that helps too.
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Posted: Wed Sep 20, 2006 4:54 pm
Usually fetishes are developed, and you can see where they came from if you know enough about the person's life.
For example, somebody who might have a fetish for wearing women's underwear usually started by... I dunno, probably not as simple as looking at a woman's catalogue, but maybe he pilfered a pair of somebody's panties and then used them to fap to. He really enjoyed it, so he continued swiping panties and that possibly lead him to buying panties of his own to use during his private time, it didn't even matter if a girl had worn them. Then he starts wearing them, and he gets a sexual charge from it. At first he probably would have been very embarassed about it, had he put them on when he was first swiping them, I'm sure he won't go out and tell people but now he can do it and know he's doing it while no one is the wiser.
That's not true in every case, and that was less in-depth because I didn't want to scar anybody, but what people feel, think and like is usually conditioned.
For example, my co-worker is an Eagle Scout, after being teased about being a virgin for it he claimed that he would out live all of us if we were all dropped out in the woods. My manager, a black woman, then informed him that she and almost any other black person wouldn't be caught alive in the middle of the woods, or near them, because black people don't risk their lives like that. Every black co-worker but one agreed, and he said he was the exception to the rule... the point is, we are conditioned somewhat to like what we do. No, not every black person hates camping, and not every white person loves it... but we like what our peers, our family, and our society like for the most part.
Just like with drugs, you don't usually start with the hardest one, you work your way up after becoming desensitized to the weaker stuff. Some people are exceptions, some people do, but it's not often.
I don't know if that example came out as well as I meant it sweatdrop
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Posted: Wed Sep 20, 2006 5:08 pm
I dunno about that. Most of the time when people give supposed origins for their fetish, it seems more like a discovery than a creation. I have a lot of trouble with the idea that something as basic and essential as my sex drive is seriously influenced by things like watching an odd scene in an old cartoon.
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Posted: Wed Sep 20, 2006 8:36 pm
I find it odd to believe that somebody can see children in a sexual manner unless conditioned to it, same with necrophilia, same with enjoying being abused sexually. The same with being attracted to your sibling.
However, I find it very easy to see how their past experiences influenced that. I find it very odd to think that your past experiences, which developed your personality and affected your brain's development, have no influence at all in what you enjoy sexually.
Another note on the incest comment: animals rarely commit true incest, most animals related to one another won't attempt to mate. Scientists have actually studied women's sense of smells, putting various shirts from various men in front of them and having them judge which smelled most attractive to them. They discovered that the women smelled certain shirts and weren't attracted, noting that they reminded them of their brothers or fathers. The shirts women found most appealing were the shirts of men with very different immune systems to theirs.... the ones that reminded them of their family members were the shirts of men who had similar immune systems, offering less of an evolutionary advantage...
sweatdrop I hope it doesn't sound as if I'm angry or lecturing. I really love debates and listening to other people's opinions, and I have a problem with other people in the other places I frequent on Gaia thinking I'm angry and lecturing when I'm just enjoying saying my piece and listening to theirs sweatdrop
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Posted: Thu Sep 21, 2006 12:04 pm
No problem. I like discussions too. ^^
I just think that people tend to give too much credit to the nurture side of it. If things like schizophrenia have a neurological or inborn origin, I can see other forms of malign behavior having a cause in the blood as well.
I don't like the exposure thing because humans have such a rich variety of experience that it's too easy to pass off anything as a result of exposure without proving or disproving real cause and effect.
My personal case I feel runs counter to you're theory. I like fat girls. I haven't been exposed to a disproportionate amount of them, nor have I encountered them in a lot of markedly sexual situations. I wasn't exposed to the concept of overeating and fatness any more than any other kid. I used to believe that I was without a real sex drive, since when I looked at pictures of women I was conditioned to think of as "sexy" I didn't really feel anything. Then one day stumbled onto a picture of a fat pokemorph on Stephen Sakurai's website, and it intrigued me. I looked through all of the pictures, and eventually the main site. It took me a while to figure out that "FA" meant "Fat Admirer" and not "Fan Art", and it was around then I realized that I did have a sex drive, and just what it corellated to.
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Posted: Fri Sep 22, 2006 8:36 pm
I agree, people can just have a natural attraction to something, but I don't think with fetishes and extremely abnormal behavior it's that way in most cases unless there is some chemical problem in the brain.
I think part of the thing is I'm talking about actual psychological definition fetishes, which I don't consider most FAs to have just because they have attraction to bigger women. That's just like men who are attracted to skinnier women, it's a personal preference. Most that I've met have actually found skinny girls attractive, depending on the girl. I'm talking about the people who rely almost soley on something to get off. Now actual fat fetishists might start out just liking bigger girls, but I've never met one that was so bad he could only find bigger girls attractive and so I haven't had him explain to me how he discovered his attraction.
Personally I love chubby guys, but I also love skinny guys. I don't think anything made me that way, other than I just find health attractive and I don't think you have to be a certain size to be healthy.
I dunno, I'm not at my best at thinking and putting down in words anything, I've had a rough day sweatdrop
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Posted: Thu Nov 16, 2006 3:12 am
I still have'nt told anyone about being a FA. Around here you can get seriously beaten up for stuff like that.
Only my GF knew, but thats a given I guess.
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Posted: Thu Nov 16, 2006 6:05 am
You're bullshitting me. Why? o_0
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Posted: Fri Nov 17, 2006 3:04 am
Well, I live in Clacton, a seaside town in Essex, UK.
Conformity in this town is everything, you dress a certain way, you listen to a certain type of music, you do what is considered the norm.Being a FA would be considered wrong, REALLY wrong. After the usual (are you desperate, a pervert, etc) then it would just start to get voilent. We have had TV shows about feeders which did nothing for FA's like myself.
I really can't explain it properly but let me put it into perspective, I once got beaten up for wearing jeans.
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Posted: Fri Nov 17, 2006 9:41 am
Holy ******** of curiousity, do people occasionally need to go to a large slate building to get "repossessed" by The Man with Red Eyes or a giant brain named It?
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Posted: Sat Nov 18, 2006 2:18 am
Yes, its called JJB Sports.
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Posted: Thu Dec 21, 2006 5:31 pm
Forced Merit Well, I live in Clacton, a seaside town in Essex, UK. Conformity in this town is everything, you dress a certain way, you listen to a certain type of music, you do what is considered the norm.Being a FA would be considered wrong, REALLY wrong. After the usual (are you desperate, a pervert, etc) then it would just start to get voilent. We have had TV shows about feeders which did nothing for FA's like myself. I really can't explain it properly but let me put it into perspective, I once got beaten up for wearing jeans. ~hugs~ you should move to cali, nobody cares here.
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Posted: Thu Dec 21, 2006 7:43 pm
Forced Merit I once got beaten up for wearing jeans. That's actually pretty common here in the South. It'snot that uncommon to here about some kid getting the snot beat out of him (or in a few cases, killed) for wearing adidas instead of puma.
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Posted: Fri Dec 22, 2006 12:04 am
Fuzzy Necromancer No problem. I like discussions too. ^^ I just think that people tend to give too much credit to the nurture side of it. If things like schizophrenia have a neurological or inborn origin, I can see other forms of malign behavior having a cause in the blood as well. I don't like the exposure thing because humans have such a rich variety of experience that it's too easy to pass off anything as a result of exposure without proving or disproving real cause and effect. My personal case I feel runs counter to you're theory. I like fat girls. I haven't been exposed to a disproportionate amount of them, nor have I encountered them in a lot of markedly sexual situations. I wasn't exposed to the concept of overeating and fatness any more than any other kid. I used to believe that I was without a real sex drive, since when I looked at pictures of women I was conditioned to think of as "sexy" I didn't really feel anything. Then one day stumbled onto a picture of a fat pokemorph on Stephen Sakurai's website, and it intrigued me. I looked through all of the pictures, and eventually the main site. It took me a while to figure out that "FA" meant "Fat Admirer" and not "Fan Art", and it was around then I realized that I did have a sex drive, and just what it corellated to. My former date could relate to you, I think. He too wasn't really raised with a lot of fat people around (on the contrary, there seems to run a strain of losing weight easily in his family), although he did feel sexual thoughts when looking at 'normal' women. But one day he saw a rather fat woman and realized that he was really attracted to her. More markedly even is that his son has also expressed more than an interest in fat girls, up to the point where he doesn't even consider a thin girl as a potential mate. To me that does seem to suggest a sort of genetic predisposition. Hope nobody minded I mixed into the discussion there. sweatdrop
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