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 Posted: Sun Oct 06, 2024 8:51 pm
Reims watched him with quiet sympathy. He hoped it didn’t come across as pity because that would piss him off. No, it wasn’t that he pitied him, it was that he knew it was painful. Not just physically. Pretending something for so long was exhausting. It was soul crushing. Thanks to Evan and his other friends, he was slowly digging his way out of the shards of glass and rock he’d been buried under for most of his life.
He saw Cassidy’s wince. He saw the grin. He was so confident and cheerful all the time. How was that possible? Unless it wasn’t.
Carefully, he set the box down beside him, and then shifted closer so he could gently wrap his arms around Cassidy and pulled him close. He was careful with his injured side, of course. He didn’t want to hurt him further.
He was always so frustrated with how easy it was for Cassidy to get under his skin. Why did it have to take an accident that almost killed him to get him to realize maybe it was just an act?
Reims didn’t tell Cassidy that he shouldn’t say he was fine. He knew he would no matter what. He didn’t tell him he shouldn’t shrug it off, because Reims would have been a hypocrite to do so. He wasn’t sure what the right words were, and maybe he’d been spending too much time with his friends and thought that a hug would be the best way of pulling someone back to the ground -- maybe because it worked on him.
So he tried to show his support instead. It was probably weird for a complete stranger to be so invested, but… he couldn’t just pretend like he didn’t care.
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Posted: Sun Oct 06, 2024 9:31 pm
Of all the things Cassidy expected, a hug really hadn’t been on the list. It took him by surprise, although once that wore off he couldn’t claim that he didn’t enjoy it.
Reims hadn’t said anything. It was better than some pitying words, or some attempt at understanding. Cassidy hadn’t thought he wanted to be reassured. He’d been content to just brush it under the rug, but no–Reims couldn’t just play along.
Which was really eating into his theories about who Reims was.
And yet, it wasn’t like Reims was acting insincere. Cassidy had gotten good at picking up when there was some sort of hidden agenda behind someone’s kindness. The choice to be saintly because it benefited them in some way–because it made them look good, or feel good.
It wasn’t about him.
Reims had already saved him once tonight. From an unseen trouble, sure–from an evil he hadn’t laid eyes on, but he had no reason not to trust him.
So what would he have even gotten out of pretending to offer support or comfort? Cassidy hadn’t asked for it, but here he was.
He wasn’t complaining.
It just took him a few seconds to relax.
“Well, I’m not sure what this is, but I like it. I didn’t think I’d actually wind up in your arms again so soon. Aren’t you supposed to be trying not to overheat? You haven’t even had anything to drink yet. Let me open a bottle for you, which one do you want?”
His hand was shaking a little, which was weird, but it wasn’t like tremors were uncommon. His body was still figuring out how to work, after all. It definitely had nothing to do with the way his heart was fluttering or his face felt warm.
Reims was just so kind! And so close!
And so perceptive.
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Posted: Mon Oct 07, 2024 5:54 pm
“Oh my god! Shut up and let me hug you, Cassidy!” Reims sputtered and pulled Cassidy closer so he could hide his face against his shoulder. He was just trying to give him a hug!! And now he could feel his ears burning and hoped that in hiding, he wouldn’t be so obvious about it!
Reims knew Cassidy was deflecting. Or trying to. He liked to use that as a way to get out of things, too. But he could feel the way Cassidy had tensed and then finally relaxed a bit, so it was obvious that he didn’t want him off of him. And he said he liked it, so--!! He was going to hug him for a bit longer.
Now if only Cassidy would stop being so weird about it! Okay he wasn’t really being that weird, but Reims felt flustered now. It was fine. They would both just take a breath and go back to eating chili. And Reims hadn’t had any medical emergency yet, so there was clearly no coconut oil in the food.
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Posted: Mon Oct 07, 2024 5:55 pm
Again, Cassidy laughed. Maybe it was a little performative but he hadn’t had to try very hard. Reims was cute. And he was funny. Cassidy leaned into the hug, pressed his face into Reims’ shoulder, and smiled.
“I’m letting you!” he protested, but there was no bite. He was still laughing. “You give very good hugs!”
He just couldn’t talk very well with his face pressed against Reims. He didn’t want to move. Maybe words weren’t that important right now. He could just appreciate the moment.
When was the last time he got a hug like this, anyway? Maybe his grandmother, but she was back in Italy. He spent most of his time with his dad but he wasn’t exactly big on the hugs. And his mom was always so afraid she was going to crush him or something, or she’d start crying, or–
This was just nice.
He sighed contentedly.
Cassidy hadn’t wanted to get out of his arms before, what was he supposed to do now?
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Posted: Mon Oct 07, 2024 5:55 pm
Reims just huffed and rubbed Cassidy’s back. He didn’t know what qualified as a good hug, but Cassidy wasn’t the first who said something like that.
“You don’t have to pretend to be okay, you know. Not around me at least. I get it -- pretending, I mean. It’s easier than letting people know the truth. They have enough to deal with in their lives, so it’s easier to brush things off and say it’s okay, and you’re fine, and everything is going great. I mean… you can still do that with me if you want to, but it’s okay to not be okay. You don’t even have to say it, if you’d rather not--”
But wow did Cassidy like to talk. So Reims didn’t think that would be an issue.
He still had his face against Cassidy’s shoulder, but eventually pulled back a little to give him a skeptical look.
“Are you at least going to be okay until we figure out when to meet up again? I’m going to talk to my friends about meeting you.”
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Posted: Mon Oct 07, 2024 5:58 pm
Cassidy snorted but looked up at Reims with a grin. “If I say no, will you stay for longer? I’m kidding. I’ll be okay. But I don’t want to wait forever to meet up with you. I like talking with you.”
He decided against giving Reims his most pathetic look, or dramatically claiming that he’d never make it.
There was something real about Reims and Cassidy didn’t want to ruin whatever moment they were sharing with tacky dramatics.
When Reims pulled away, Cassidy set about fixing his hair. He didn’t want to look silly, not now. There was a warmth in his chest again, not unlike when he was thinking too deeply about having feelings but it wasn’t unpleasant. He trusted his heart and his heart said ‘Reims is good’.
“I’m not going to get any worse. I’ll be real with you, Reims. Since I don’t have to pretend around you. Some days are better than others but today I hurt. I’d kill for some relief. Kidding, but no, it’s bad. I want to go back to how I was before. But I can’t so I’m trying not to sulk. It’s just exhausting trying to figure out what more I can do. I’ve already had so much therapy, and so many medicines, and so much rest, and so many healing crystals and positive thinking and thoughts and prayers. I need something tangible. Something real. I don’t want to just wait forever. ‘It’ll get better’ yeah, okay, or it won’t. I don’t want maybes. But,” he clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth. “I guess sometimes that’s all we get. Oh, and sometimes magic.”
He seemed like he was back to being good spirited and energetic. “I don’t want to saddle you with my problems, Reims. But I appreciate it. If it ever gets too bad, I’ll borrow your ear. We’ll see how long you can listen to me yak before you need a break!”
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Posted: Mon Oct 07, 2024 5:59 pm
There was a difference from just assuming, and Cassidy actually telling him how he felt. Reims could feel his chest tighten, and he frowned thoughtfully as Cassidy told him how bad it was.
Absently, Reims reached out to tuck some flyaways behind Cassidy’s ear, since he was already working on making his hair look nice. And Julian never seemed to mind.
“It’ll get better,” he confirmed, determined to help figure out what they could do. There had to be something. If Elliot was injured to the point of almost needing to go to the hospital, or -- his own arm! Ephesus did some crazy magic on his arm to help heal it. It wasn’t perfect but it was a hell of a lot better than before.
“And yeah, if you needed me to, I’d stay with you longer. How about this weekend? I’ll come back to this bench the same time we first crossed paths this Friday. With or without my friends.”
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Posted: Mon Oct 07, 2024 6:00 pm
Cassidy leaned into the touch. He didn’t mind if Reims just wanted to play with his hair but he wasn’t going to outright ask for it. The corner of his lip twitched into a smile at the promise of it getting better.
Maybe it would, maybe it wouldn’t.
But Cassidy was alive. And Reims was actually a sweetheart. Who could have guessed?
(He did. But he’d have time to be cocky about it later.)
“Friday is good. I won’t make plans. What time works for you? I can get away whenever. And I’ll have tomato pie. It’s best served cold, so it’ll be better than warm chili. You can send me a message if your friends can come, I’ll bring some for them, too. Do they have any allergies I should know about?”
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Posted: Mon Oct 07, 2024 6:01 pm
“Nine work for you?” he said thoughtfully, trying to decide how long they would need. He’d have time to talk to Elliot and Atticus about it. He was sure they wouldn’t refuse.
“Not that I know of,” he made a disgruntled expression when asked about his friend’s allergies. Ugh, was Cassidy going to be needling him about that until he confessed? No way, he would give himself away way too easily.
“Need me to carry you to your house?” he then offered, because if Cassidy was feeling that bad, he wanted to try and help him just a little.
He was already looking forward to Friday, but didn’t want to seem too uncool by being obviously giddy about it.
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Posted: Mon Oct 07, 2024 6:02 pm
“Need?” Cassidy considered it for a moment. “I don’t need it. But I sure do want it.” He grinned again, not at all interested in hiding how excited he was.
“Nine sounds good to me. I’ll be here,” he promised. “School’s starting for me this week so I’ll just tell my dad that I’m meeting up with friends. He won’t give me a hard time. I’ll just tell him we’re going to see a movie. Easy peasy. But you just let me know if anything changes. I’m flexible.”
He winked for good measure, and then paused for a moment. “Well, parts of me are. I’ll work on the rest. You’ll see.”
He could have been melodramatic. He could have angsted about his accident. He could have whined.
He didn’t have to. There was plenty to look forward to this week; he was going to visit Atticus, and maybe he could bother the Reids to help him practice making the tomato pie so he could make it himself for Reims. And then school started. And then, Friday.
That wasn’t so far away. He didn’t even have to be patient when he had plenty to keep him busy until then.
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Posted: Mon Oct 07, 2024 6:03 pm
At first, Reims didn’t react to the comment about being flexible. Until Cassidy winked. And then he made a face to feign discomfort, even as his ears burned again. It wasn’t his fault that Cassidy was teasing him!
“Okay, well… keep working on it. Or something,” he managed to sputter out as he stood up from the bench. He didn’t wait for Cassidy to get up, too. He simply scooped him up into his arms, as offered.
It was fine. He would carry him home, and maybe wait to make sure he was inside with the door locked before leaving. He had a lot to do between then and Friday, including school. But hopefully things would fall easily into place.
FIN
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