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 Posted: Wed Jul 22, 2020 3:50 pm
What sort of territory was Lukas treading into...? Those sounds, clearly they were ones of pleasure, and those touches? That hand in his hair, against his skin... It all meant something, didn't it? Or was it just this situation? Now that he finally took a moment to go back and reflect, well... Yeah, this could certainly be seen as something far more sensual than he was intending it to be. But was that alright? Was he allowed to, especially given how prickly Wyatt had been before? As a test, just to see what he was allowed to do, one hand remained on the crook of Wyatt's hip, the other went to gently tug the offending pillow away. And it did move, ending up tossed to the side, revealing something standing at attention. Ah. So then.. Maybe he should continue... With the slightest of hesitation, his hands trailed up further, thumbs rubbing on Wyatt's lower stomach, pressing in spots where felt tension, and came off his knees, just a little higher. Where he pressed, he laid the lightest of kisses, taking in that musky scent. "Are you sure about this, Wyatt..?"
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Posted: Wed Jul 22, 2020 5:18 pm
When had that loud ringing in his ears started? Wyatt had drifted so far from his own consciousness - a body on autopilot, and no restraint, slowly brought back by the faintest sounds of a voice, catching only his name amongst the ringing in his ears. "Mmm, Tor-..nn," the name came unconsciously from his lips. A name that, if he were truly there, in control of himself, would have never been uttered. Not for the sake of propriety, but for the dark, traumatic, feelings it stirred. Feelings that were about to be validated as he blearily opened his eyes and what he thought he saw, in his pleasured haze, was dark, jet black, hair and a set of emerald green eyes looking back at him. For that moment everything stopped - his heart rose to his throat and quickened at such a pace he may as well have been having a heart attack. It was a look of pure terror and panic. He was frozen for that moment, until the hyperventilating started and he, most ungracefully, flailed to back away. A series of 'no, no, no,' came in shaky hysteria with a few other phrases like 'he isn't supposed to be here,' or 'not real' thrown in there as he got as far away as he could on the bed before the panic-stricken man and curled up in a ball with his arms covering his face and his hands latched on to his hair. As if he even needed any confirmation to know that he was over his former lover, this was the nail in the coffin. If there had been any lingering feelings of desire, surely panic and fear would not have been the emotions to wash over him at the false vision. He'd later analyze this and come to that conclusion, but for now, he was a mess.
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Posted: Wed Jul 22, 2020 5:38 pm
Another name was called. One that was not his own. What immediately came to mind was potentially that ex he talked about before. But that was none of his business. At least it wasn't until Wyatt when scrambling back. He froze in a moment of panic himself, trying to figure out what he did wrong. Until it turned out, he didn't do anything. This was familiar, in a way. The hyperventilating, the grasping at his hair. His stomach did a pained flip, his own memories triggering but were quickly forced back down. Lukas' own feelings weren't priority right now. His Wyatt's were. "Hey... Hey, Wyatt... You're right, he's not here." He murmured to Wyatt softly, going closer to the side of the bed closest to his curled up form. More than anything, he didn't want to seem like a threat, and kept low, still on his knees on the edge of the bed. As badly as he wanted to help him, to touch him and hold him close and tell him everything was alright, it was a bad idea. There were countless times where he had been hit for such a thing before. "I'm here. Me, Lukas. You're... Annoying friend here in the park. You're here with me, here, in this shabby little RV, not wherever you think you are. And he isn't. It's just me, you, and your emotional support pillow." He reached down beside him, picking up that pillow that was tossed away earlier, and gently nudged it within Wyatt's reach. "You know that, don't you? It's just us. And I'm here, to do anything you need me to do to help."
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Posted: Wed Jul 22, 2020 5:58 pm
Everything was loud in his mind, and he was yelling, indecipherable things as if it would make every thought just shut up. And for all the mental anguish and regret, he still saw himself as the monster in it all. A predator who had preyed upon an impressionable boy all those years ago just for easy access to physical affection, but ******** up and ended up actually falling for him. A monster who then took that broken boy and tried shoving him in to what he thought was good for him while not having the patience to put aside his own wants. In contrast, he also felt like he had also been done wrong in how he'd given and done so much to support that feral beast he'd once called a lover only to be left with those feelings of guilt that made him paint himself the villain. And now all he wanted was what he felt he didn't deserve, much less was safe. He wanted to do things right, but he was afraid he couldn't, and would hurt whoever was stupid enough to get involved with him. So he couldn't be nice. He couldn't risk leading anyone on so that meant keeping people at arms length, and the only way he knew how to do that was to be an a**, but it didn't feel good to be that way, and the cycle of guilt continued. He was a ball of guilt and fear but also frustration and anger. His screams weren't even words anymore, just wails, drowning out the comfort offered to him.
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Posted: Wed Jul 22, 2020 6:31 pm
Nothing was getting through to Wyatt. That creeping feeling of helplessness was starting to take over. "No." There was a firmness in his voice, not wanting to give into that resigned feeling he faced before. This time he could help. And Lukas knew it was wrong to do this, that maybe, it would make things worse, but it was better than simply doing nothing at all. Never again would he let something as foolish as his own fear prevent him from helping those who needed. Especially not when it was someone like Wyatt, someone who had become unintentionally important in his life. He crawled in to bed beside Wyatt, and pulled him tightly into his arms, ignoring any flailing and punching that would happen. If he was sore in the morning from it all, fine. As long as he could help the panicking man before him. "I said, I'm right here. I'm right here, it's me, Lukas. That annoying b*****d who's place you took. I'm not letting you go."
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Posted: Wed Jul 22, 2020 6:53 pm
And flailing there was - although it was more of just trying to squirm away, but Wyatt didn't make it easy to hold on to him. It was quite the fight until he just seemed to give out. Still curled tightly in on himself and trembling, he did, in fact, seem to be passed out. He'd simply worn himself out in a fit that was unlike anything he'd had before. He was good at holding together, but that had just broke him. Broke him down into the barest figment of a person. Let loose all the raw hurt. Although he was not yet conscious that Lukas had to be the one to witness it, it wasn't anything he'd ever wanted anyone to see. Prideful and stubborn, but haunted and broken, he was a mess that no one deserved to have to clean up. He thought he'd been doing quite well at cleaning his own life up. Maybe he'd just been sweeping all the crap under the rug, or stuffing it in a metaphorical closet. Never-the-less, whether he wanted to or not, he found some sort of sleep there, and hand unconsciously clawed and clinging to Lukas' shirt.
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Posted: Wed Jul 22, 2020 7:33 pm
Years of working outside, lifting tree trunk after tree trunk, and generally just putting his arms through the grind was the only reason why Lukas managed to keep a hold of Wyatt for as long as he did. Time seemed to pass by slowly as the other man finally tuckered himself out, and when he finally did seem to relax and fall asleep, he let out a long, tired sigh. What the hell had happened to make Wyatt like this? Sure, most of the people who lived on the mountain where up here to run away from something, himself included but he couldn't imagine anyone else this messed up. And Wyatt had been so good at hiding it all... What had changed about tonight? Was it really his fault for being pushy, and wanting to get close? Was his affections a little too much? No, it couldn't have been Lukas' fault. It wasn't his name that was being called in those moments of panic. Some b*****d named Torn or something like that seemed to be the focal point of all this. ... It wasn't his business. He shouldn't meddle. Meddling only led to people hating him more, pushing him away, and leaving him miserable in the end. But... Just knowing wasn't meddling, was it? He couldn't stay here, though. Wyatt would likely wake up and get that cane of his, or find some reason to be mad at him still.. Instead, he gently pried those fingers from his shirt, and replaced himself with that emotional support pillow that failed to do its job. Or maybe it had been working, and he just ******** it up for the both of them. ... He didn't want to think about it. There was already too much on his mind already. After making sure Wyatt was truly asleep, and truly alright for the evening, or as alright as he could be, Lukas gave him one last look over, before heading to his own home. There was something he needed to do a little research on, before hopefully falling asleep himself. But with how much still weighed on his mind, it seemed unlikely.
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