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 Posted: Wed Jun 05, 2019 11:19 am
"Hmm... I'd love something like that, I think. Who knows who would be my lover some day. Maybe I won't ever have one, but I do like the thought of being someone that could protect them. To know that they live, that their hearts still beat. Even if they are gone now, I'm sure your husband had loved it." Here he was, making assumptions of the heart again, as if he had any knowledge of how loved worked.
At a glance, Vivre seemed sad now... Perhaps he should not have said anything.
"Why can't you throw it away? There's nothing wrong with admitting mistakes, and then moving on. If something happened that you regret, then atleast you have the knowledge of not making that same mistake twice." With is clean hand, Mali reached over, resting it ontop of Vit's that seemed to be squeezing the life out of his tail.
"Part of me still hopes that one day that love can be from you. But I'm in no rush. Love comes, it goes, it never leaves you fully and lingers, I suppose. Maybe in a year or two, we'll be stronger, you'll be confident, and have the desire to love me. Or perhaps I'll finally will away what I feel to become stronger, and a better friend. But as I said, no rush." The blood had been forgotten, and when brought up again, Mali only chuckled, taking a look at the still warm blood trailing down his hand.
"I don't think a scar or two would bother me. I could always lie, say it was from some heroic feat or something... No one stares at fingertips anyway, so I am not worried."
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Posted: Wed Jun 05, 2019 11:54 am
"Because.....if I don't have it anymore, I won't have anything left of him." And then he'd have nothing from that time. Nothing at all to make him know that he had loved once. He had cared so much for someone once. He had once had it all and things had been good once. That before purification, things had been better for them. No. They had been better for Wolframite. Bismuthite had not been happier but at least he had still been fully himself with all memories intact.
It felt nice to hold it and sink into memories that suited him. That made him happier and carefully, surgically removed all that had made it unpleasant and the slow disintigration of their marriage. But it was fantasy and a poison that ate him from the inside.
The hand on it made it loosen its hold on the tail and it only felt a full aching in its chest. But it pulled its hand away from him. "You'd be better with someone else." It didn't want to hurt Mali or change him. Even now it worried what just being its friend could do to him. "Maybe I'll just hurt you or get worse then I am now. You should be with someone who can live with you. Go out with you. Not have anyone before you. Someone not tied to here like I am."
"You shouldn't give yourself scars. You look better without being all banged up. From getting hurt like that."
It turned its own hands over. With fur it was sparred the sight of it's once scarred hands and with claws it didn't matter as much that it couldn't feel some of its fingers.
Why did it care for ex marriages now. It was a half-youma. That life and it's life was gone. What did it care for holding on to anything? Nothing was solid now aside from this place. Even the Queen wasn't permanent. It knew that much.
In the end, nothing was secure. Even Mali could leave him.some day as depressing and hurtful a thought that was.
Why did it want to did it's claws into such tender people when it knew it would only ultimately hurt them just so it could have something?
You've always been selfish and that's something you should give up. Monsters ask for nothing more than what its given.
It looked over at Mali's hand. "Can I...clean your finger off?"
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Posted: Wed Jun 05, 2019 12:32 pm
"You have the memories of him, you know. Even if you can see pictures of him every day, they would be less important than the memories of him you have. An object is still an object. You could lose it in a fire, or drop it down a sewer, or have it ground to dust, but that doesn't get rid of the memories you have. Good or bad." Mali's father came to mind immediately. Their home wasn't the one they grew up in, but one bought after their parents passed. It was filled with photos of them, but not a single one could replace his memories of them, even if it was easier to push that sad longing aside to continue with life.
He didn't like being told to think of someone else, to love someone else... He had no control over the feelings, but it never felt like he received a solid 'no'. Just a "you could do better", and that vagueness still gave him hope, even if his hands were abandoned and he returned them to his lap.
"We'll see what happens. I'm not capable of simply ignoring how I feel, or forgetting the affections I have. I don't want to give up yet. I'm unsure what would happen if I let you go." Mali closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the wall, growing a little sadder. "I wish you could see how I see you. Maybe you'd understand why even though you insist on me looking elsewhere, I simply can't bring myself to."
A quiet fell over the both of them for a bit, Mali sending his knife away back to his little pocket space. Hopefully the cookie tin he kept in there wouldn't clang around too much... Not that he could hear it.
"Hmm.." There wasn't much to think about the offer to clean his finger. Given that they had already had one round of bandaging up a body part, it made sense that Vivre came prepared to patch up any remaining injuries that might have been left behind. Without another thought, he held out his hand to his friend, feeling the blood there losing it's warmth and slowly becoming sticky.
"Sure. It's not too bad though, I'll be fine... At this point, I feel like a Negaverser's worth can be measured by their scars. Evidence of how hard they fought or what they've been through. I have nothing to show for it, and... Couldn't care less so it's best for this not to scar over."
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Posted: Wed Jun 05, 2019 1:00 pm
"Scars are a funny thing. It shows you got hit but didn't die, but it can also mean you were sloppy, careless, or took on more than you could. Being all cut up - it's just the nature of the game. It doesn't:t mean your better. If you were good, you'd never get cut at all." It said as Vive took Mali's hand, using the curved underside of it's claws together like a half cresent to rest it there with Mali's palm up. Vive's own palm rested like a course cushion underneath it.
"The Negaverse measures on worth can change. Why was once valuable can be less another day. It's all situational. What they value is if you listen, accept orders, and pursue to become stronger to do the same things again."
It leaned then, bring their hands up as if it would drink water from the cup of Mali's hand, but instead licked the blood from the wrinkled and soft palm of the other and up to the cut finger. With a couple swipes of it's tongue, it reached down and pulled free the green ribbon that laced up its side and started to wrap it around the finger a few times before leaning in and tearing the excess with its teeth. "I"m not able to make a small knot with my claws. You'll have to tie the ends yourself." The ribbon was not tied but more wrapped over and over,the ends hanging off the finger."
It offered the hand back.
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Posted: Wed Jun 05, 2019 1:22 pm
"Hmm... We can talk in circles about how I feel about the Negaverse, if you'd like, but I don't think it's necessary. I'll do enough to not disappoint you, though I promise nothing else." His eyes remained close at the touch of Vivre's hand, only peaking open a little as he felt the tongue touch him.
Strange... But not unpleasant. Perhaps it was the canine instinct that came with being a half youma. Vivre had licked his claws of blood before though...
Maybe he liked the taste? Not unheard of, but unsanitary. A vague thought of a game he once played with blood as a "kink" crossed his mind, but he pushed that aside. That certainly couldn't be it.
With his hand released, he tied off the ribbon neatly, then folded his hands in his lap.
"Thank you.How does your uniform recover it's form? You can't exactly power down, can you?"
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Posted: Wed Jun 05, 2019 1:29 pm
It stared back, relieved that Mali said nothing of how it cleaned him and licked his lips free of blood.
"I can. Just I'm still a half-youma when it's gone. I have no other form. There is no safe way for me to walk around in the world until I can glamour. Other than that, I'm a half-youma to my core. That's what happens when you let in too much Chaos."
To demonstrate, the uniform rippled away to the same half-youma but in a t-shirt, opened zip-up hoodie, jeans, and very worn winter boots. He had yet to buy sneakers and only had the shoes from when he corrupted. The jeans were tailored around his tail but otherwise plain and somewhat faded in color.
"See?"
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Posted: Thu Jun 20, 2019 1:08 pm
It was very strange to see his companion in such simple clothing, and quite frankly, it didn't seem to suit Vivre in the least. The aesthetic seeking part of 'Mali was calling out for him to power back up again, but he'd keep that thought to himself.
"Half youma to the core... Are you sure about that?" Mali was curious now, and reached into his own chest, pulling out the starseed within without much thought. He had done it a few times before, out of curiosity so he was used to the odd sensation that came with removing what was essentially his very soul from his body.
From what he understood, this was something special to Corrupted Senshi like himself. But Pride was a terrible thing, wasn't it? Perhaps that pride would be a reason why he could be hated even more, as the senshi of the past had been.
Ah, but what did it matter? Instead he showed the starseed to Vivre, careful to keep contact with it, lest he knock himself out.
"If this is our core, do you think yours looks any different?"
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Posted: Tue Jul 02, 2019 6:34 am
It sat, feeling odd in being powered down. Unlike in the past, when he went out of uniform, he was generic to everyone and powerless. This time around, nothing but its clothes changed. It still looked the same, felt the same, and still sensed everyone around it. Now the other it was a glamoured trick.
"I am. Corrupted more than usual. I'm sure purification would be dangerous now." And even if it wasn't, it would never want it.
It hadn't noticed Mali reaching in at first before it caught the light from the corner of its eyes. Turning, Vitriol's golden eyes went wide in shock and panic when it saw the starseed held out.
"Mali, what are you doing?" It asked, staring at the held starseed and the ease of which Mali had done it. The man wasn't dead and was talking as if nothing had happened. Did he just take out his starseed for fun??!!
"How?" It asked and stared at it. The crystal pulsing with power, and somewhere inside it felt the crawling, clawing hunger. It brought back the memory of the taste, the exhilarating feel of life melting in it's mouth, and took a shuddering breath before turning away, mouth filling with saliva.
"Maybe blacker. But I had Nubi touch it to see. I wanted to know if it changes in shape or cracked." To see if his outsides had changed his core.
"Can you put that back in. It makes me nervous." It admitted.
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Posted: Mon Jul 22, 2019 9:51 am
Much like the blood from before, holding his starseed out before Vivre was causing something to happen. And this time 'Mali was much more aware of the situation than before.
As a man, he was desirable. Perhaps this was the same sort of thought that was going through his friend's head now as it had been before. While he knew he should be worried, he did not put his starseed back just yet, rolling it between his fingers and gazing at it curiously.
"So not so much different... I see..." That was good atleast. "You know, perhaps if one day, if things got too horrible, if I've lost everything, I won't then if I could just crush this. Waste this little glittering soul so that the Negaverse couldn't "use it". Though if I understand correctly, once this is gone, consumed, crushed, or otherwise, there's no coming back. No rebirth cycle, no way to live and love once again. I feel as if there are times I think too hard about it... In the sense of heaven and hell, the cauldron, or whatever source we are born from, do you think we, as we are, Corrupted, Half-youma... If we were to die, but our starseeds saved, would we be allowed to return? Or perhaps some strange cosmic energy decides we aren't worth of returning due to what we've done.... What do you think?"
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Posted: Tue Jul 30, 2019 7:42 am
This caused it to glare back. "Don't say something like that. Crushing it does mean you are gone forever. If you don't like your life then kill yourself and be reborn. Give your future you a chance at the very least." It looked back out, visibly upset.
"Can you not talk about ending your life around me. It's like you don't care about how it would hurt me and your sister."
"The cauldron doesn't care who you were. It's indifferent. It let Queen Beryl come back and she was as corrupted as they came. You wouldn't be turned away. You haven't done nearly as bad as her."
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Posted: Tue Jul 30, 2019 8:42 am
"Hmmm? I do care, but at the same time, I'm not afraid of dying. It's never a fear I had, if it happens it happens. Life is exhausting, and there are times when you simply want to rest, so if I am reborn, there's no rest in death, just another struggle. Crushing it would be better, should the time come." Landry spoke quietly, eyeing his seed one last time before letting it merge once more into his chest.
"I do hope you know I care about what happens to you and Lori. And I know my death would hurt, but ultimately you would be alright. You both are strong and independent, the sadness would pass soon enough, wouldn't it? It has before." He finally rose to his feet, brushing the dirt and dust from his pants. "It is good to know though that I won't be turned away. That means you won't be turned away either. But speaking of 'away', I should probably start heading home, unless you need anything else from me."
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Posted: Tue Jul 30, 2019 8:50 am
He was somber as Mali rose.
"No. Just ...if you care to struggle, you don't have to struggle in this life or the next alone. Just so you know." He rose up.
"And don't let anyone crush it but you else I'll be even more upset. And don't pull that around any youma again. It's like holding a steak around starving wolves." He pointed out.
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Posted: Tue Jul 30, 2019 11:55 am
"I know. And I appreciate it, thank you." It was a little out of place, he knew that, but 'Mali still reached out a hand and gave the top of Vivre's head a small pet.
"I promise, I'll keep it safe.. Though it does amuse me, just a little that you desire me in more ways than one." Both of those gazes weren't so different either. Both a desire to consume... It was nice, being desired that way... Yet neither of those desires were what Landry wanted.
For now moments like this were enough.
"I'll see you later, Vivre. Get some rest, and make sure you disinfect those wounds again."
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Posted: Tue Aug 06, 2019 7:54 am
"Please don't make it a habit to pull your starseed out just to make me hungry. It feels weird to look at you like meat." He said, not able to look Mali in the eye as he looked over the Negaverse landscape.
"I will. See you later. Get home safe."
He watched Mali go before touching the mark on his chest. The collar worked a d now he knew he had one more way to protect those around him.
Turning, he headed back to his room.
FIN
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