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 Posted: Fri Apr 05, 2019 3:17 pm
"She cares about me, of course. Just the intensity. She can turn it on and off, she can make it seem like she doesn't care at all, or go off, forget about me, and do things without me. It doesn't seem to work the other way around, me not caring about her, being able to go out without her and not immediately hate everything." Their slowed pace meant that his grip laxed a little bit, and Mali took that opportunity to test to see if he could slip his fingertips between Viv's. The answer was clear, their size difference too great.
It was a nice attempt anyway, leaving Mali smiling despite the sordid topic.
"Depends on how much time I was given. A few nights to think with a arranged meeting? Probably. Cavansite didn't seem like the type to have given either of us much time. If I had said no, I feel like maybe my starseed would have been in her hand next. Nothing of that situation gives any suggestion to choice or willingness on my part. My loyalties lied with Nubi, so I followed her. Though..."
His grip tightened a little on Viv's paw, that weird want to be nice coming back.
"I think if I had met you that night instead of her, and you asked me to corrupt or offered me that power, I would have joined, if only to have the chance to see you again."
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Posted: Fri Apr 05, 2019 4:05 pm
Viv noticed the movement inside its hand and wondered if it was somehow cramping the man's hand. It could feel the fingers moving out as if stretching to get feeling back and then settle back to their original place. Worried, it made its grip light.
"You can hold on my arm if I'm hurting your hand." It offered.
The rest of the walk didn't actually give an answer if Mali would have come to the Negaverse if given a choice or not, but that if he had refused, it was likely he still wouldn't have a choice. It made sense in a way, and it guessed that there really had been no point in asking such a question anyways.
"I've never corrupted anyone. I probably would have taken your energy or starseed." It glanced at its other hand. "I'm not even sure my hand would fit." But it didn't understand the focus though. Cavansite was probably a general and as such would have been better qualified and more powerful then it. Wouldn't a half-youma freak out a normal person more and not want them to go into the Negaverse?
"You wouldn't have even known me. I'd probably have made you have a heart attack."
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Posted: Fri Apr 05, 2019 4:20 pm
"It's not that, I was seeing if my fingers could go between yours. For some reason, it didn't cross my mind that you would notice, so don't mind me." He was caught, and tried to shrug it off, but that redness returned to his face once again.
With how huge these paws were, it wasn't unbelievable that Viv wouldn't be able to reach his starseed. Maybe even clawed his guts out and splattered them on the pavement. Certainly a sight to see, but he was grateful that didn't happen.
"That's why I said 'if you would have asked me to corrupt'. There's no doubt you may have torn me apart if the situation would have been any different. And I don't know if you would have bothered to save Lori and I if we were being attacked. I couldn't blame you for that, you'd just be doing your job." Mali genuinely laughed aloud, imagining himself being frightened at Viv if their situation was different in the beginning, if he had been the one to attack them last night.
"Can't say for sure, I haven't seen you at work. Had I a chance to observe you without being attacked, I'd have approached you on my own to talk, Negaverse or not."
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Posted: Fri Apr 05, 2019 5:48 pm
"Oh." It glanced at its hand then back up the path. That made more sense. Naturally that's how someone would hold their hands together and Mali wanted to attempt it to be a better, more natural grip. "My hands too big for that now."
"I might have. You know. Saved you. I don't like trash people. It just makes it easier to take from them if I know they aren't worth keeping in Destiny City. Makes the place better for everyone and its an easier excuse to feel like you're doing some good." But in the end, it still knew that it was murdering someone. That it was ending a life. At this point, after so many graves, it did't feel like it mattered anymore. It often wondered just how far it could go. After what it did with the two DMCers he killed - it could go pretty ******** far.
"I guess we'll never know then."
"Um, so since Cavansite didn't give you much of a choice, do you hate your general? You're under their team, right?"
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Posted: Fri Apr 05, 2019 6:14 pm
"I know, but I still thought I'd try. Perhaps when you learn to do your glamour I can try again. Maybe they will fit well together..." It wouldn't be the same as this wonderfully fuzzy claw, but it would still be part of Vivre.
Doing something good certainly wasn't something that Mali thought about as a Negaverser. In his mind, they were all evil people. They murdered and left people out to survive after draining them of what seemed to be their life essence. Even if people were rotten, they could have still had a family that relied on them.
A sister like Lori waiting for them. A lover or a friend that would miss them when they were gone.
"Good or not, we're doing a job. If we think too much about it, it would only hurt us, so it's best to just do what's required. Each starseed a life, each life to make us stronger. A price to pay, a horrifying one, but a price for power. We'll never know, like you said, but I know that those een" There were so little things Mali cared about when it came to humans. Who they were, where they were going, why they were there? None of it mattered even when he tried to compare those thoughts to Lori and how he cared for her.
They simply weren't her, and there for, he couldn't care less if their starseed was in their chest, or in his hand.
"I don't hate her. I don't care for her either. She is like a school guidance counselor. She's there to check up on you, make sure you're doing what you're supposed to, and calls you out when you're wrong about something. Then she's out of sight, out of mind. There never seems to be any room for kindness in the Negaverse from what I've seen between leaders and their underlings. Except for your Faustite, apparently. Seems likely that they see me the same way I see them, a means to an end. My end being the power to not let anyone threaten what's important to me, their end being a pawn to move around as they see fit."
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Posted: Fri Apr 05, 2019 10:16 pm
"If I had a glamour we won't be in the Rift. Then you'll be safe without me." It said, knowing it wasn't smart to use a glamour in the Rift since it wouldn't protect Mali probably if Mali wanted to hold his hand.
The topic was getting a bit grave. "I don't think about it much." It tried not to as a means for self preservation and to keep what little humanity it still had.
"Even the General Kings and Queens are used. We all are just taking orders from Metallia. It just depends how many people above you you have to listen to in the end." But it didn't want to think about its feelings of superiors and the order of Chaos. It had enough issues in the past that lead up to purification and it knew it was a mistake to think about about those feelings. Instead, it was trying to come to peace with it and embrace that it was here to be given power to be used for whatever order it was given.
"Are there any officers you do like?"
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Posted: Sat Apr 06, 2019 8:28 am
He wouldn't need Viv...? Oh, right. They only held hands here because it was out of personal safety and responsibility, nothing else.
Another thought that never registered in his mind.
"... Right." Viv didn't need to know he was disappointed with that fact, or that holding his hand two meetings in a row was beginning to form a habit of naturally desiring that contact. It was unprofessional, and most certainly stepping boundaries.
"I still haven't wrapped my head around what we're doing here. I got power in exchange for basically servitude, but... Well, I've already told you my thoughts on the senshi threat, so my heart's not in it yet." Maybe it never would be, especially since it felt like he and Lori were drifting apart. With her gone, he had no reason to remain. That little thought he kept to himself.
"I like you." Mali's words were firm, with no shame behind their honesty. There was no use hiding it either. "And 'Nubi, that's a given though. I've not met many, as I keep to my own, and didn't want to meet anyone else until I met you."
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Posted: Sat Apr 06, 2019 9:31 am
I like you.
It tensed, startled in a moment. And then, very shortly after, Mali continued and it breathed out.
That kind of like.
"You must have met some awful people for me to make you want to meet others. But I hope this means you can find more friends now. It's not good to be alone in the Negaverse. We're family after all. We need to look out for one another." It said as they continued walking as it tried to recover from the quick jolt to its heart.
"Especially people who can meet you to spend time with you in the human world when Nubi runs off to party. It might help you feel like you have a better life then."
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Posted: Sat Apr 06, 2019 10:15 am
”No, not necessarily. I just didn’t care to meet people. And I still don’t, I simply made an exception for you. My sister’s reaction to first meeting you wasn’t too far from my own, I’d admit... And you made me curious. So I wanted to learn more.” The tenseness was felt, for sure, but Mali simply squeezed the hand a little tighter in his own. Was it taken a wrong way?
“I don’t care for people very much... I never have. And the human world that I know isn’t very appealing at times, especially if my preferred places is at home. So, if it means I have to come here, to Negaspace to see you and be with you, in your company, I don’t mind at all.” It was such a big step... Being willing to step outside of his comfort zone to go and actually ‘hang out’ with someone other than Obie wasn’t something he’d actually bother to do.
For Viv? Yes, he would. He wanted to know him, to be with him and just... Anymore than that, he didn’t understand the appeal, Just that he wanted that companionship.
“As long as you’d still want my companionship.”
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Posted: Sat Apr 06, 2019 11:40 am
Ah. He didn't care about meeting people. Being half, maybe it made it less deagreeable to Mali to meet it. "You shouldn't spend too much time down here. It's not healthy for you. And you'll be growing up and need more of a life. If you find the Negaverse disagreeable, then being down here to hang won't be received well. They'll want you to meet your quotas and start becoming more responsible." It said as they walked.
Being with me all the time won't serve you well.
"But if you just want to visit from time to time and go on patrols, I do not mind that. I won't be going anywhere after all." It lead them to the mouth of the Hall of Shadows.
"You ready?"
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Posted: Sat Apr 06, 2019 12:39 pm
"In the Rift? No, I imagine not, but I don't think you're in the Rift constantly, are you? There are the Barracks, training grounds, and as you said, going on patrols. I don't expect to simply use your time unwisely, it wouldn't be fair to you." Ultimately, what was between them was a business relationship, and very barely even that. It would take time before he felt he could truly be comfortable with Viv, no matter how much he wanted to rush forward and occupy his time.
And when it boiled down to it, they had only just met. It couldn't be possible for Viv to think of him much anyway... Especially given the fact that his loyalties seemed to lie heavily with the Negaverse, and his did not.
"I suppose I am. I think I need to re-evaluate my relationship with the Negaverse. I'll get no where if I simply keep complaining about how little choices they've given me. I want to choose now to become stronger, and maybe be more useful to you. After all, I think if I am useful, then you'll want me around more, hmm?"
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Posted: Sat Apr 06, 2019 2:03 pm
"It's not healthy to be in the Negaverse. No sun which messes with your health and your mental balance of time. Not to mention if you're here all the time with me, you won't make any new friends or do well with a job. You gave a chance to meet me. You could find other curious people out there that you didn't give a chance to." It explained.
It held it's hand firm as it entered the Hall of Shadows again.
"I don't base who I'm with on how useful they are to me. I'm the one to be useful to the Negaverse. But if you want to earn my respect, then work for your own goals and for the Negaverse. To protect people just like your sister from being attacked like that night on the street. Be like your general offering someone power who might see potential in someone just like you. I'm going to work hard to become the soldier the Negaverse needs. You should find a goal just for you to achieve."
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Posted: Sat Apr 06, 2019 3:13 pm
"Mm..." Why did it feel like Vivre was pushing him away...? They had fought, true, but Mali had assumed they moved past that, and that it would be alright to forget it happened. Much of what Vivre said made sense, of course it did, darkness and the weather here would make any human uneasy or warped after an extended time inside of it.
"A goal just for me... I don't desire being a leader, or being an incredibly useful person to the Negaverse. After all, I don't have any sort of feelings towards our so-called 'cause' either way. But... Being strong enough, worthy enough to stand by the side of a partner and to work with them to help them meet their goals would be enough for me. Someone 'other' than Nubi, of course. I can't simply be her anchor for the rest of my life..." The shadows hidden behind the crystal glass shifted restlessly as they made their way through the halls, shifting and swirling around in a strange sort of dance that only they knew what they were doing. This time around though, Mali had no fear against them, nor did he feel the need to press too hard against Vivre's paw.
Mali wasn't a man who rushed forward with ideas. He took his time, contemplating, working on a well reasoned decision before making any moves that were deemed big, or too grave to be taken lightly. Yet inside himself, he was a bit more spontaneity that Rivaled Lori's, something he tried very hard to smother away and drown out so that he could be the needed rational one between them.
But Lori wasn't here. His words had no effect on her, his feelings, as strange and unfamiliar as they were could not be explained rationally. There was no reason for them to be.
"There's no doubt in my mind that you will find your strength and power far before I will. You have that drive and will to be better and stronger... But I do have a little hope that as you grow and thrive, I can do so as well. If only to have your respect and perhaps, one day, stand by your side." His words were earnest, spoken softly as if he was unfamiliar with such honesty. Mali wanted to stop, hold both of those paws and ask him eye to eye if it would be alright to have that desire, but where they were would allow no such thing. A moment too long lingered would lead to his own death, certainly.
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Posted: Sat Apr 06, 2019 3:31 pm
Mali wanted to be a tool.
It slowly dawned on Vive that this is what the other wanted. He had no goals for himself and without a person to protect, to watch over, to anchor himself too, they felt lost and without purpose. Left on their own, Vive wondered if he would ever succeed in the negaverse at all. Without Nubi, the sole reason he became an agent, it wondered if he would let his lack of dedication lead to purification. In either cases, Mali would not be useful and would even become the enemy if not watched. Vive had been wondering through the senshi's talk of feeling lost, undervalued, and showing the lack of respect for superiors if a report would need to be made.
But there were other ways and one that Mali himself was offering.
Am I not to serve my Queen? Am I not to prevent traitors from rising and keep soldiers in line? Am I not meant to serve the grand scheme and be the solider to inspire others?
Vive smiled.
"Mali." It gripped his hand a little more tightly. "It would give me no greater joy then to see you succeed. I expect to become what is needed by all. If you wish to be by my side, you will need to become great. Nothing tentative or wavering. To be by my side, is the side of the Queen. The side of all the General Kings and Queens. To swear yourself to them." It gestured to the youma on the other side of the crystal wall.
It stared back at the corrupt and rose their clasped hands together. "You did not get to choose to become a officer. Choose now. Make an oath. Swear to Negaverse. Swear to me. That you will meet all orders and expectations set before you, that you will become a Eternal others can aspiring to become, and that you will seek out all traitors to our cause. If you do as asked. If you can keep pace to my progress, then you can remain by my side. If this is too daunting or not a goal you wish to have, then I hope you can find yourself a partner with other, lesser aspirations."
It stared back, golden eyes glowing in the dim purple glow of the hallway. "You decide."
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Posted: Sat Apr 06, 2019 5:25 pm
Vivre called him by his name.. Had he done that before? He couldn't remember, but it surprised him, causing him to look towards the halfing once again. Part of what was spoken sparked a tiny bit of hope, excitement in his heart. Then there was more, more and more and more asked of him. More stipulations that he wasn't sure he could fulfill.
Even as their hands raised together, he couldn't stop that doubt that drilled deeper into him with each word.
"I want to say yes, Vivre, I do. I wish I could say I could have blind dedication to a cause, to *queen* that I've never met. I can't simply let myself be a pawn so easily, or a tool, or anything of the sort for a person I know couldn't care less about me. To her, I'm an ant, for certain, a tiny, insignificant soldier who whines about being lost instead of pushing onwards and hoping to become something worth looking at. Were I to die, would they mourn? Would they think of me, of my face, of who I was? Or am I just another number, more worthless than a true officer, that is tossed aside and forgotten in a pile of starseeds?" Why did it have to go this way?
He hated this. He shouldn't have asked more than what he could have worked towards. It was far too early for talks about swearing loyalty to anyone. A spur of the moment question, that bit of spontaneity he allowed himself ended in ruin.
"I didn't ask for their sides. If I hadn't looked to our documentation, and seen a flash of red during my corruption, I wouldn't have even known what a General Queen looked like. I asked for yours. I know you, even as faint as it is. And I want to be there for you, not someone who couldn't even be bothered to stick around long enough to greet newly corrupted fledglings. I had to look up her name in the database to even know who she was." The image of Hessonite that night was deeply engraved in his mind, and it filled him with even more bitterness, triggered by Vivre's ultimatum.
If he could have let that hand go, he would have. There wasn't enough foolishness in him to let himself go in this wretched place.
"I can only offer you this. I can swear all that to you and no one else. I can work, an strive to be what you'd want me to be, someone who'd make you proud. I just can't lie to myself and say I care at all about what anyone else thinks, of what some strange Queen wants of me when I doubt she barely knows of my existence except on some brief mention on a report someone put on her desk. If it brings you joy, then I'll do what I can do succeed in your eyes, but for no one else."
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