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 Posted: Mon Sep 04, 2017 7:25 pm
Merric put a bite of fish into his mouth and chewed slowly. It really was pretty good; and it was definitely better than the cafeteria rations he'd been living off of so far. It was also something to focus on while the spill of negatives from Melvin came pouring out.
He winced, just a little. Merric took another bite.
"Well...I suppose you have a valid reason," he hedged, though it was not the impression he'd gotten of Lysander at all, for obvious reasons. He wasn't quite so wrapped up in everything that he'd failed to notice certain aspects of Lysander's personality, but they were overshadowed by the more appealing ones.
Melvin's return question made his cheeks warm. Merric hastily looked down at his food again.
"I...he's kind to me," he said, trying to keep his voice steady. "Or rather, he's been nice to me from the start, and so has Roswell. They haven't made me feel as though I've been intruding on something."
The until now was unspoken, but obvious.
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Posted: Mon Sep 04, 2017 7:31 pm
"Just that he is kind and welcoming? Is there anything more specific than that?" He asked, curious as he ate a french fry.
"Not that I'm saying those are good things to be." Not that Melvin personally saw it and doubted whatever kindness he was giving Merric was as rosy as Merric was seeing it, but whatever they had probably wasn't just kindness.
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Posted: Mon Sep 04, 2017 7:41 pm
"I..."
Merric's mouth opened, and then closed. He couldn't say what the reason was, and wasn't even sure he knew it himself, his mind going several different directions at once. The flush was still on his cheeks; Merric slowly lowered his fork again.
Melvin was offered a faint, not really there smile that was more sad than anything else.
"He makes - made - me feel...but it doesn't matter anymore, it's not how it was at the start."
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Posted: Mon Sep 04, 2017 7:48 pm
"Feelings matter. But Alright. We'll leave it for now." He said, deciding it wasn't productive to keep stabbing the same stop over and over so close together. He could revisit it against another time.
"Let's talk about something easier." He ate another french fry.
"Why do you like pandas?"
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Posted: Mon Sep 04, 2017 7:52 pm
Merric looked visibly relieved at the idea of changing the subject. He took another bite of fish, blushing again at Melvin's question; it seemed now to just be a force of habit, a consistent thing to be easily embarrassed or flustered for him.
"W...when I was a child, we went on a field trip to the zoo," Merric said, after a moment. "It was the only time I got to go all growing up, my family...well, anyway, it was a fun trip, but they had the pandas out on display for the first time, and I just...thought they were really amazing. My teacher gave us all a panda pencil afterwards, but my mother threw it away when I got home; she said it wasn't worth keeping."
Merric gave a small, self conscious shrug. "I just...there's no real reason, really, I suppose."
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Posted: Tue Sep 05, 2017 5:01 am
"I thought as much. You do get to meet some exotic animals, though most you can hope for is that they are at least friendly to you. Polar bears I know I would never want to meet again. I met a very amazing tiger a few times." He pointed out, adding some ketchup for his fries.
"Any plans where you might want to go on leave? With portals all over the world, you can really go anywhere. I mean, once you have pay and are able."
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Posted: Tue Sep 05, 2017 6:37 am
Merric took a bite of his fish, chewing slowly. "I like all animals," he said, thinking of Melvin's bear rug and wincing. "I've always been interested in zoology and conservation efforts and all that, I only chose genetic studies for my focus because of my parents."
Then he realized he'd said too much, flushed, and hastily ate another bite of fish. After a moment, he said tentatively, "If we can go anywhere, there's...there's this place, in China - the Wolong Nature Reserve, it's where they help take care of pandas, and try to rehabilitate and protect them."
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Posted: Tue Sep 05, 2017 7:05 am
"That seems nice. If you need any forms or anything checked out beforehand, I can always stop off at a computer while on leave and bring what you might need to visit or volunteer. I suggest taking lots of photos. It makes it nice when you have dismal days." He only started taking more pictures to preserve the good times and people that might someday leave.
"Do you not like talking bad about your parents?" Melvin was usually rather dense but Merric was easier than most to read. He reacted quickly and danced around words and thoughts. It didn't feel like avoidance half the time than confusion or some inability to name it.
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Posted: Thu Sep 07, 2017 6:52 pm
Melvin was given a small smile of appreciation, already thinking too much of where he wanted to go. He wasn't even sure how leave on the island even worked, but if he had even the smallest of chances to go to the Wolong Nature Reserve...
The question about his parents made his chest throb unexpectedly. Merric stared down at his half eaten plate of fish and chips.
"They're just...not good people, that's all," he said at last, taking a breath. "Well - no - " His words stumbled a little as he hastened to correct himself. "I - that is, they're not...they're not terrible people, they're just...we don't see eye to eye on things, that's all."
On anything, really.
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Posted: Fri Sep 08, 2017 6:25 pm
He saw his eyes drop right to his food and wondered how often Merric actually looked someone in the eye. It was too tempting to grab his chin again, but they were in public, and reaching over someone's food was impolite.
"So you don't miss anyone off island?" He asked, eating a few more fries. "Or anything?" He didn't want Merric to associate all his conversations with him with only bad topics.
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Posted: Sat Sep 09, 2017 7:05 pm
He thought about this for a moment, then said truthfully, to his plate of food, "No. Not really. I miss...what could have been, I suppose, but it is what it is now. I'd like to think here is a better place for me, but you never really know."
Especially since here was only succeeding in making things worse in several ways.
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Posted: Sat Sep 09, 2017 7:24 pm
"I hope you can find a happier place here. It can be rough, but you do have freedoms and can see some wonderful things no one else has ever seen. Like that panda reserve." He said, trying to keep Merric from frowning so hard at his fish that the waiter would feel cause to come over and ask if it was cooked okay.
"How about you ask me something else. Anything." He said, taking a drink of water.
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Posted: Sun Sep 10, 2017 9:15 am
He wondered if that was even possible, to find happiness here. Everything felt somehow just out of his reach, Merric staring at his food but not really seeing it, gaze unfocused. His grip on his fork was loose, fingers absently flexing.
After a moment his head lifted, Merric glancing over at Melvin, still frowning, though it was less defined now.
Ask me something else. Anything.
It was too open ended. Merric struggled with it, with the too many possibilities of it, his hand slowly closing a little more tightly around his fork, then relaxing.
"Why are you nice to me?" he blurted out, then flushed, but pressed on as best he could. "You seem to dislike Lysander a great deal, and I...he and I are...friends...but you're nice to me. It doesn't - it doesn't make sense at all to me."
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Posted: Sun Sep 10, 2017 9:27 am
"I don't hate people based on who they are friends with. I can dislike someone and still find the other person they are around pleasant company. Lysander and I started on the wrong foot, and it has only seemed to have gotten worse since then. I'm not about to dislike people I never got the chance to know if they give me a chance. You aren't Lysander. You are Merric. Just like Rosland is Rosland. However, if you don't want to talk to me because I don't get along with one of your friends, then I will understand. I don't want to get between friends, but I like talking with you, and I'd like to get to know you as a friend." He explained.
"A lot of people like to think that just who you were with and hang around makes you think or be that kind of person. I was with someone who many people don't like, but I don't share his beliefs or his habits. It's a hard association to break though, but I can only live my life and hope other people see I'm not the same person. That I'm just Melvin with my own feelings and attitudes to things."
"Did you have friends growing up? I had a few friends in elementary who I was friends with but didn't like some of the people they hung around with. Just because they shared certain interest with other people I wasn't about to hate them for it. Being a friend with someone doesn't mean I need to lock them to just being friends with me. You have many likes and interest after all as a complex person, and you are nice and polite. Many people would want to be friends with you. I wouldn't be a good friend if I wanted you not to be free to make as many friends as you like and find comfort and happiness with them." He explained, eating another fry.
"I like when you ask me questions, Merric." He added.
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Posted: Sun Sep 10, 2017 4:33 pm
Merric listened in silence, slowly continuing to eat his food, small bite by small bite. Even with how good it tasted didn't make up for the fact that he wasn't exactly starving; the eating was a routine thing now, more something to do with his hands than anything else.
The question about friends growing up made his cheeks warm. Merric had not had very many friends at all throughout the majority of his life, but was not about to say that, not now. It was too pathetic, especially in front of Melvin, who he was not even sure was a friend.
Everything was confusing. Merric put his fork down and reached for the glass of whiskey, though he didn't pick it up just yet, fingers wrapping loosely around it.
"I just...don't know why you would bother," he said, after a long moment. "You were...you were trying to tell me that - that it was okay to...to want..." Merric trailed off, scarlet faced, then said, "I'm not that interesting. And I'm aware that polite generally means dull."
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