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 Posted: Sat Jul 16, 2016 8:46 pm
He felt rather like there wasn’t enough air in the room for him to properly breathe, Caspian’s chest fluttering as Michael twined his arm around his. His skin was warm, his touch gentle, and they were closer now than they had even been on the boat, reminiscent of the morning in the boxcar. Michael’s face was not that far from his own, moonlight shading his mahogany hair silvery in its glow, slanting snippets of light across them both.
Caspian had never had anyone else in his bed like this before; had never felt the confusing sensations of too much and too little all at the same time, tangling in his thoughts so that he wasn’t aware of what exactly he was even feeling at all.
What if I never leave? Michael had asked.
What if I told you I never wanted you to? Caspian thought, his eyes half lidded, his lips parted as he looked at Michael in the half shadows. Would it scare you? Would it make you want to leave? Would you change your mind after all?
What if I told you that I -
But his mind could not finish the sentence. His head spun dizzyingly with the rush of emotions he had difficulty untangling, and Caspian smiled a little, fingers curling a little tighter in Michael’s shirt.
“Then I’ll just have to get a bigger skateboard,” he deadpanned, Caspian daring to inch closer, so that he could sleepily nuzzle his face against Michael’s chest, warm and comfortable and probably too near, but he simply couldn’t help himself.
“Sleep,” said Caspian softly. “You should get some rest.”
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Posted: Sat Jul 16, 2016 8:54 pm
Being like this with Caspian was probably the most comfortable and uncomfortable Michael had ever been. He could feel Caspian's heart beating heavily against his chest, and he would have been concerned if he wasn't already aware that his own heart was doing the same.
He snorted softly again when Caspian suggested just getting a bigger skateboard, and then watched as Caspian leaned closer to put his head against his chest. He knew he should try to sleep, despite the fact that his mind was spinning, and his heart was going much too fast.
He wondered if it was at all normal, for him to feel like this. Did people usually feel this way when they didn't close themselves off to everyone around them? It was exhausting and exhilarating and so many other things that he couldn't describe, but he didn't know how people could do this; some so easily.
"Good night, Cas," he breathed, his hand tightening on Caspian's arm for a few moments, before it relaxed again. The closeness scared him, if only because he didn't know what to expect or what he was supposed to do. But with Caspian looking so content, resting against him, Michael thought that maybe... this would be okay... just maybe, this was what happiness felt like.
"Thank you."
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