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 Posted: Sat Aug 22, 2015 2:09 pm
Rep smirked. "Oh aye sure, we all have our ******** harems waiting on us, but sometimes shopping is important." He sauntered along after Mark at a rather eager pace himself, retail therapy was one of the things Rep enjoyed most of all and when he was on his own - which was rarely - he didn't have his other half making concerned faces at the sheer amount of cash he was able to blow.
He got a trolley, because he knew he'd need one. "Get what you like." he said generously to Mark, one of those people in life to whom money was a vague number which happened to other people, incapable of managing it or saving it in any way at all and more pleased with making other people happy using it. He'd managed to fill up most of the trolley by the time Mark came back, he didn't even look all that bothered by Mark upping the amount significantly.
"Sure, just put them in." he said, heading in the direction of the games and adding those to his swag also. "What sort of pop tarts should I get?" he said on his return with the latest games safely nestled in his claws. "I can never ******** pick anything."
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Posted: Sat Aug 22, 2015 3:49 pm
"Dude, don't pick poptarts, you gotta get them all." Mark was more than happy to pawn off Rep's generousity: every single item he dropped in the cart was padded with a compliment because he really could stoop to no lows when it came to free things.
Two bags of Doritos went into the cart ("You were so freaking awesome out there!"), accompanied by a giant bottle of Ginger Ale ("You dealt the finishing blow, I swear, I know you passed out but it was amazing and exploded and stuff"), followed by what looked like a Lawn Gnome ("I think Caelius was super impressed, I mean I know he doesn't say it but he means it and stuff").
Mark's contribution to the entire cart would ring up to something like fifty bucks. At some point, they passed by the dairy section, and the Death Assistant picked up the biggest plastic cartons of milk possible.
"I've always wanted to try this!" Using the power of gravity, he lifted the milk carton up, and-
- placed it very gently back into the shelf as something else attracted his attention. "They have cool whip!" He helped himself to about five cannisters before he made his way back to Rep, picking up a game title and staring at it blankly. "Did you even get your consoles modded, bro?"
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Posted: Sat Aug 22, 2015 3:57 pm
Rep didn't seem concerned as the trolley filled up with more and more random things, simply in a haze of being pleased that for once in his life he was getting along with someone for real and he was also getting a lot of cool stuff while he was at it. He didn't complain at all or feel used, simply thinking about how he was going to try every ******** poptart there was when he got home.
"Aye, obviously." he said. "I was the guy doing the ******** modding. And pirating, I did cracking for some of the big piracy rings before the island and s**t like that. But obviously on the ******** island I'm reduced to using a ******** single shared laptop, I hardly have the ******** resources to do s**t, so I need to ******** do everything legit. We don't all ******** have assistant resources on our hands, I have to make do." Paying retail for games pained him deeply and having it brought up was almost enough to shatter his good mood.
"I have had to sacrifice a lot of s**t on the island."
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Posted: Sat Aug 22, 2015 4:18 pm
"I have a spare laptop," Mark offered generously, before he realized what he was doing, accidentally dropping off one too less extra cannister of whip cream onto the cart. The cart was looking like it was having a hard time fitting it all at this point. "Um, that is uh, I'll think about it, and uh it was custom made by me, and dude, you have to give me something in exchange. Like maybe your left arm or left leg, if people found out I gave s**t for free I'd never hear the end of it."
He considered deeply what options there was. "How about this. You do my next five missions for me, and I'll consider, emphasize consider giving you my laptop baby number E132B, code name Tuesday. Maybe." He scrutinized Rep on the last maybe, dropping a few more Cool Whips just to make sure he was getting the best out of his deal.
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Posted: Sat Aug 22, 2015 4:28 pm
Rep raised a brow at Mark as the prospect of a laptop was dangled tantalisingly in front of him and for a moment couldn't keep the look of delight and gratitude off of his face before he reverted back to raw scepticism, nothing in the world was ever free. Of course he was right he thought as Mark hurriedly added on a whole slew of conditions for even being considered for the thing. He assumed it would be like the money he had owed the assistant for a long time, a dangled carrot to keep him running. When it came down to it though, he didn't care, even if there was nothing in it for him at the end, he wasn't exactly doing a million other things anyway.
"Sure." he said, rearranging some of his stuff to make space for the cool whip. "Whatever you want."
He picked up a few more items and then nodded, apparently satisfied. "Well that's me done, I'd get booze but there's nae wholesalers or cash and carrys around, so I'll make do with what I've got for now. You done?" But without waiting to make sure Mark was done, he set off in the direction of the checkouts.
"I could definitely use a laptop though, obviously. The one I have is fine for gaming but I don't like doing my gaming and programming s**t in the same place. If you could spare it.." but he cut himself off in another bout of irritated cynicism, who was he even kidding really? "..I mean whatever man, I do most of your missions anyway, it's no a problem. What's the ******** worst that could happen?"
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Posted: Sat Aug 22, 2015 5:08 pm
"One condition," Mark placed an elbow on the checkout counter, despite the entire counter moving forward with him, "you have to keep my laptop's name. This is really important to me okay. Don't hurt Tuesday, treat my baby well."
Technically, both Mark and Rep had a hoard, and both were technically garbage, but Mark, as per usual, thought his was superior to everything ever ever. Must have been a sci-fi versus fantasy hoard sort of thing.
He managed to slip in a few packets of gum at the checkout, and the checkout clerk ran some obscene amount that ended up being a three-digit number in the two hundreds. The Death assistant, suffering from severe grabby hand syndrome, had also snagged the entire book of coupons and was busy tearing them all with a surprisingly meticulous sort of patience. About an entire book of coupons later, he had negotiated the price to under a hundred bucks.
"That will be eight-five dollars and sixty-five cents," intoned the cashier.
Mark looked at Rep, and was about to say something else like probably some pandering thank you when his eyes suddenly fixated at the entrance of the store and the gathering of about ten police cars outside. His eyes widened considerably.
"Dude bro," this was said quietly to Rep, "I don't want to alarm you but I think we need to perform an escape route six." When he though the cashier wasn't looking, he grabbed about three of the five bags and raced towards the bathroom exit at the back willy-nilly, shouting something like "HURRY UP" to Rep. Cool whip scattered everywhere left and right.
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Posted: Sat Aug 22, 2015 5:36 pm
"I wouldn't go changing a computer's name." Rep said in horror, as if this was some well known rule of computer ownership that was tantamount to abuse. "I know how important their ******** names are. My old rig was Alex. The laptop's Rexx, and look I take so much ******** care of my tech, money doesn't grow on trees. I mean it's made of trees but I can't grow any of it"
He turned his attention to the checkout and was frankly ******** astounded at the power of coupons, not used to dealing with them at all at home for anything other than fast food. "Holy s**t." he said with the sort of reverent breathiness reserved for truly humbling acts of penny pinching. He couldn't help being grateful that Mark had saved him from the possible wrath of Harrison later, but he didn't bother explaining it to the other man, busy paying for his swag.
As things were rung up, he looked up, noticing the police at the same time as Mark. He nodded grimly, grabbing the remaining bags. "Don't need to ******** tell me twice." he said, following in hot pursuit to the bathroom exit, determined not to lose a damn thing to those ******** bastards who had already left him with a bruise on his chin that night already. "I'm COMING." he snarled, irritable more out of harried stress than any real vindictiveness. "They better no have those ******** knuckledusters again, I don't know where the ******** they get that tech but ******** it."
Somewhere in his heart of hearts as he ran, he knew all of this was Cael's fault. He could have provided free portals and gotten free s**t if he wasn't such an impatient ******** and they'd be home without any desperate bolts for freedom away from the law.
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Posted: Sat Aug 22, 2015 11:38 pm
The back entrance was thankfully unguarded, though it also lead to several dumpsters that were just a little overripe. Mark expertly navigated his way around them, hovering just enough to see if the police cars had disappeared. They hadn't, and it almost resembled a scene from CSI, without the actual murder crime happening quite yet.
"Eh," he finally sighed, stuffing some of the contents more securely back into the bag, "we'll have to make a dash for the portal. We camouflaged it into that parking spot, they'll never find it, but uh, you know, for safe measure, we should probably remove it afterwards."
There were about five officers between them and the parking spot. Mark held his breath as a few of them almost neared the dumpsters, though they were turned away by the smell. "We need a distraction."
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Posted: Sun Aug 23, 2015 4:19 am
Mercifully Rep was immune to the smell of gross dumpster, normally used to the smell of his gross and not at all air conditioned hoard of pelts, animal viscera and other moldy trash the island didn't even want. It was a good temporary cover for them both, but Mark was right that they'd need a distraction to get past them without getting some serious hassle along the way. "Like what?"
He eyed the horrible dumpster and whispered. "I mean. We could throw this at them..I guess. We could lift it nae bother between us I bet. They probably wouldn't see it coming."
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Posted: Mon Aug 24, 2015 2:13 pm
"Effort," judged Mark immediately with a single whisper. "Okay, I got it, so you like,-"
- It was around that time that the police siren went off, as they apprehended an unsuspecting customer at the front entrances, and there was a lot of yelling-
- "and I'll meet you at the portal! Peace!"
And then Mark pushed the dumpter so that it clanged heavily against the other bins, and then took off running the other direction.
Immediately all eyes focused on Rep.
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Posted: Tue Aug 25, 2015 12:24 pm
"I WHAT?" Rep called after Mark, just in time to spot everyone looking at him.
"Ah s**t. IM ******** INNOCENT." he said, before putting his head down and charging as fast as he could in the direction of where he hoped the parking spot was, holding his shopping for dear life and point blank refusing to summon Tracey as a result.
He had to hand it to Mark that the guy knew how to ******** survive at the very least.
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