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 Posted: Fri Aug 14, 2015 9:14 am
It was like it dawned on Tolliver the same way it had on Hitch, in a swift bolt that left him stunned... and ultimately happy, but only after wading through his own pools of doubts and guilt, and he knew this was the right decision. When Tolliver kissed him so sweetly, fingers in his shirt, there wasn't a doubt left in his head.
Well, no. There was one. Just one. Hitch spent a minute grinning stupidly at his lover before he cleared his throat and turned red again, shifting from one foot to the other and idly tapping his clothed thigh. "So." He tried to stop, tried to look at Tolliver. But he was still fidgeting. "We're not seein' anyone else. You're stayin' with me. An' we just had a date, an' we've really known each other for awhile - that's all right, right?" Of course it was. He'd thought about it all the whole ******** way home.
"I, uh... huh. ********. This feels so ********' junior high, but, " he paused to laugh at himself, blushing as he reached around to rub the back of his neck. "How long till... when can I - are you my boyfriend? Is that a thing now? - is it's not, then uh, can it be?"
To be fair, it wasn't exactly like he'd asked many people to go steady or whatever before - and by many he really meant no he'd never ******** asked anyone okay he didn't know what he was doing.
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Posted: Fri Aug 14, 2015 9:24 am
That grin was going to be the death of him, because it was nothing but pure joy and pleasure. Tolliver felt his face burn brighter, highly reminiscent of the blush on Hitch's face, and wondered what he was thinking, what was going through his mind. Tolliver slowly lowered his hand away from his face, anxiety fluttering in his stomach, but -
A wordless, emphatic nod of agreement, even though his heart was hammering a million miles a second. Tolliver's mouth fell open again, and everything in the entire universe had shrunk down to just the two of them, locked in this moment together, with nothing else.
And he felt right. Thoughts of Fritz had dissipated; his disapproval didn't matter at this minute, because Hitch was here in front of him and he was making him feel things that coiled and fluttered and warmed him from his chest outwards until they felt like they had consumed his entire body.
He almost blurted it out right then and there - the word was on the tip of his tongue yet again, but Tolliver bit it back and then felt, terribly, a stinging sensation at the corners of his eyes, and <******** ******** if he wasn't so damn ******** emotional all the damn time -
He stepped forward, and his forehead fell against Hitch's chest, Tolliver's arms sliding around his waist, and then he was holding him securely, tightly, burrowed against him so that Hitch wouldn't be able to see the redness of his face or the too-bright of his eyes.
"Yes," he mumbled shakily. "Yes. I'm your - your boyfriend, I'm - and you're mine, and I'm yours, and please, Logan, you are the only thing that makes me this happy and - "
Rambling yet again, to his embarrassment.
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Posted: Fri Aug 14, 2015 9:40 am
Tolliver's reaction was everything he could have hoped for, from enthusiastic nodding to the moisture at the corners of his eyes. And ******** if it was wrong, because everything about this couldn't have been more right if it tried. He thought the first night that it might die out soon after, but - no. Instead Tolliver had ******** settled directly in his ******** heart and in his life, making himself a fixture, a necessity, and now he was given a title to match his permanence at last.
"Me too, " he echoed enthusiastically, laughing as he flung his arms around his lover - his boyfriend, and dragged him closer, and this time, he literally -did- lift Tolliver right off his feet. Only for a few seconds, a few inches, but it was enough. "Me too, baby, babe, I - ******** - "
All of a sudden he threw back his head and practically bellowed, "I've got a ********' boyfriend! You ********' hear that?! This cute a** guy is my boyfriend! ******** yeah!" That was definitely the bourbon loosening his lips a little. Whoops.
"Get a room you ********' queers!" some guy from across the street bellowed ******** you too guy!" Hitch just merrily declared as he flipped him off and laughed harder, burrowing his face into the hair at the top of Tolliver's head, mussing it terribly. "You see that? Losers are already jealous you're off the market, " he mumbled to him, just - it was beyond happiness he felt, he was practically ******** euphoric.
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Posted: Fri Aug 14, 2015 9:50 am
The laughter filled his ears, bright and beautiful, and then he was being dragged closer and lifted off of his feet entirely, Tolliver giving a little squeak of surprise and nearly dropping the bourbon in the process. A startled laugh escaped him, Hitch's enthusiasm utterly contagious, and he felt the heat rising in his face, heavy and unheeded.
"Hitch!" he gasped, torn between amusement, giddiness, and his normal flustered self, several different emotions chasing their way through him at the yells. He grasped at Hitch's arm, clinging to him as he felt Hitch bury his face in his hair. Ordinarily, he would have been upset at the queer yell, but they were standing there in full view of the world, cuddled close, and Hitch's pure and complete lack of inhibition was setting his heart on fire with happiness.
Tolliver leaned back just enough so that he could wriggle his hand free from between them and touch the side of Hitch's face, turning him to face him.
"I'm not - the only one off - off the market," Tolliver said, trying to catch his breath, eyes flickering to meet Hitch's and hold his gaze. His hand fell to rest on Hitch's shoulder, joy bursting deep within his heart, and it was difficult to contain it all, but it shone bright and clear in his eyes.
"You are too," Tolliver murmured, emboldened by the bourbon and the excitement. "No one can have you but me."
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Posted: Fri Aug 14, 2015 5:19 pm
What did it really matter if the public saw and knew what he was anymore? Again, the bourbon was helping with that one, but it was a thought Hitch had more than once even on his sober time. He had no other family. His mother was gone. - who cared about all these other faceless people they passed in a day? They'd never see them again, and really, who were they going to tell?
Besides. Tolliver was worth more than a million of them. So much more. Let them see. Let them be ******** jealous. Who even cared anymore? Just him, just his boyfriend, that was all that should matter.
What really got him though, was how ******** thrilled Tolliver looked to have him. Really, he thought he'd gotten the better end of the deal here, but Tolli - his joy was practically ******** overflowing, and it felt surreal that all that was because of him.
"Yeah, " and he leaned down, kissing his cheek messily. "Yes, " and he kissed his forehead now the same way, curling his hands at Tolliver's back. "All your's baby, I'm - ******** I've always been ********' your's, " and he laughed, peppering more kisses wherever he could. He belonged to someone - someone belonged to him - this place in the world finally had a ******** title, and he never expected it'd feel so good, but it did, it did.
(Suck it Fritz!)
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Posted: Fri Aug 14, 2015 5:32 pm
He was not nearly as tipsy as Hitch was - Tolliver was still capable of holding his liquor better, as he was starting to find out - but the bourbon warmed him, made him feel soft and comfortable and a lot more at ease than he normally would have. The anxiety that would have risen in his throat at being yelled at, at being affectionate in public, was quelled by the sheer euphoria of Hitch and his happiness, as well as his own.
The first kiss - and the first agreement - made his heart skip a beat, made a slightly startled laugh escaped him. It bubbled up inside of him, followed by a series of surprising giggles, Tolliver clutching onto Hitch's arms as kisses were rained down on his face. He'd been scared of falling too hard too fast, and he still was - but right now, his mind wasn't thinking of that, just of Hitch, only of Hitch. He could not possibly stop the elation that filled his heart at hearing that Hitch was only his.
Tolliver lifted his hands, the bag with the bottle of bourbon still on his arm, but he caught Hitch's - his boyfriend's - face between his palms and redirected his next kiss so that it landed on his lips, Tolliver humming happily against them. It was followed by a second kiss, and then another, Tolliver leaning into them and against his lover until he was breathless with happiness and pleasure.
"I like you," Tolliver murmured, snuggling close. "And I like that you belong to me."
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Posted: Fri Aug 14, 2015 5:49 pm
Those giggles, god - y'know how when you drink a can of soda or whatever, how good those little fizzies felt going down? Yeah. Tolliver's giggles were those ******** fizzies, sweet and light and addictive. In a world with laughter like that, he couldn't imagine being miserable - he hoped to god he heard them more.
Tolliver was the one that redirected his kisses, hands so soft and beckoning across his cheeks, and Hitch shivered. By the third kiss it was less a hot little peck and much more insistent, passionate, and lingering, and his eyes were half-lidded and he was as much breathless as his lover.
He made an incoherent, deep little sound in the back of his throat at Tolliver's words as he curled into him. "Me too, " and it was easier to babble like this, with his gut warmed by the bourbon and the possibility of more bourbon in his future, "I adore you. I need you. I ********', I - I don't think a day's gone by since I found you again that I haven't thought about you babe."
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Posted: Fri Aug 14, 2015 6:09 pm
He was squished a little between the door to Hitch's apartment and Hitch himself, but Tolliver didn't particularly care. At some point, his hands had slid from Hitch's face down so that he could clench his fingers in the front of his boyfriend's shirt, Tolliver utterly losing himself in each and every kiss.
And just the sounds Hitch was making were driving him crazy, the heat of his mouth, the feel of those arms around him; Tolliver was veritably enveloped in everything that defined Logan Hitchcock and he was loving every second of it, every single second.
The I adore you especially made his heart clench, because it was probably the closest thing to Tolliver's real feelings without actually saying the words. He felt his face heat further, tingles spinning their way up and down his spine, and he leaned closer, skimming his lips over Hitch's.
"I can't stop thinking about you, either," Tolliver murmured, and his fingers tightened in the front of Hitch's shirt, tugging gently. Another kiss, this one to his lower lip, so that he could slide down to press one to the piercing as well, because truth be told, he loved the feel of it when they kissed. "I adore you, Logan Hitchcock."
His smile had softened into a more serious expression, Tolliver gazing at his lover in silence, breath coming out roughly.
"You make me feel at home," he said softly, quietly.
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Posted: Fri Aug 14, 2015 6:46 pm
Each kiss made him hum, although they were louder hums than they would have been otherwise, and he still couldn't help making little grunts of protest every time his lover pulled away. It didn't mean he loved what he was saying any less. This was just --
"You're real, right?" he whispered with a slight grin, although he was really only half-kidding. "I didn't dream you up, did I?" It felt too good, too perfect to be real sometimes. This was so much more than he deserved, more than he ever would have asked for. Hoped for, even.
Then, at that last confession - he leaned down and pressed their foreheads together, nuzzling into him and his hands clutched at the back of Tolliver's shirt, too - just holding onto him like he needed him, because he did, his eyes closed as he murmured, "Good. It's your's, y'know - for as long as you want it - it is your home." The unspoken insinuation was no longer; it was laid out before Tolliver, clear as day.
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Posted: Fri Aug 14, 2015 6:58 pm
He bit his lip at the question, because even if it was a tease, Tolliver felt strangely, suddenly unsteady, his fingers trembling in the front of Hitch's shirt. Sometimes he thought that this was just a dream; that he was essentially making too much of nothing, too much of something that he didn't even deserve.
"I'm - I'm real," Tolliver said, a little roughly, and he blinked rapidly as Hitch's forehead touched his, his own lashes fluttering as his eyes fell half-lidded. He felt a thickness in his throat, a tightness in his chest, and Hitch was holding onto him like he was something precious; a lifeline that he needed to hold onto in order to survive, and Tolliver would have been lying if he said that he was holding on any less tightly.
The offer was laid out - it was there, it was right in front of him, and Tolliver gave out a soft, sharp intake of breath, fingers shaking.
He couldn't even speak. There were no words to express just how grateful he was, how incredibly head over heels he was for this man, and Tolliver gave a watery, incredulous laugh.
"So take me home," he whispered, and kissed Hitch again, fingers pulling on his jacket to tug him closer.
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Posted: Fri Aug 14, 2015 7:14 pm
This time, Hitch shamelessly took advantage of the wall - he pressed up against his boyfriend, because no amount of closeness was never enough. No amount of this ******** addictive drug that'd stumbled into his life was ever going to be enough for him. He broke the kiss once, just for a few fleeting seconds to drag a hiss of air between his lips. Then, he was kissing him again, open-mouthed and messy, hand sliding up and his fingers threading insistently into Tolliver's hair.
It didn't last long, as much as he wanted more - he pulled back with his eyes half-lidded and lips still parted, sparing another moment to just stare at his lover, his boyfriend, his everything, brushing Tolliver's hair away from his face with a sweep of his fingers. There would be others like that. He just - he just wanted Tolliver to feel it, even if he wasn't ready to say the word yet.
He eased back, just a bit, but made a gesture with his hands to coax him closer, "I'll carry you up, " a way to avoid the stairs for Tolliver. A way to romantically tote him up into the place Tolliver now knew belonged to both of them. A way to keep on touching him. Kind of a win-win-win set-up, wasn't it?
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Posted: Fri Aug 14, 2015 7:23 pm
This time Tolliver really did lose his breath entirely, and it was much more heated, more passionate, more everything than he was used to, Tolliver letting out a whine of surprise, eyes squeezing shut, fingers clenching in the front of Hitch's shirt. If he was afraid of his own feelings, afraid Hitch didn't feel anything, he knew better now, because Hitch was putting everything into showing him exactly how he felt.
And when Hitch pulled away, a little gasp was pulled from Tolliver's throat as he dragged in huge gulps of air, face flushed, hair mussed. He looked entirely dizzy and disoriented, back pressed against the wall behind him, and his eyes were a little unfocused, his thoughts in disarray. The look Hitch was giving him made him dazed, Tolliver not drunk on alcohol, but on Hitch himself, face tingling where his fingers touched.
He followed Hitch forward without question, almost automatically, Tolliver leaning fully against Hitch as he finally untangled his fingers from Hitch's shirt so that he could wrap his arms around his neck instead.
"Please," he mumbled, because even if his leg already didn't hurt, he was immensely weak-kneed currently, thanks to a certain boyfriend of his.
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Posted: Fri Aug 14, 2015 7:37 pm
It was hard enough to pull away in the first place - nothing Tolliver did made it easier. Like that whine when they kissed, that gasp when it ended, the totally debauched look his boyfriend had with his stained cheeks and unfocused eyes, and Hitch just couldn't stop staring at him. His gaze was partly hunger, yes, but it was more than that too - adoring, loving, his heat laced stare was like the way a peasant might stare at a ******** queen, or a great treasure. Something so completely wonderful you don't even know how or why you get to be bathed in its presence.
Lifting Tolliver was no problem, even with the bag of food dangling from his wrist. More than that, even, when he lifted him, he spun Tolliver around once, the hint of a smile on his face, before he finally headed up and into the apartment. This tiny little piece of s**t, musty smelling thing that had somehow blossomed from a necessity to a home with the addition of Tolliver St. James. "This didn't used to feel like home, " and he only spoke so freely because of the drink, his tongue and inhibitions loosened; otherwise, he would have never. "Now..."
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Posted: Fri Aug 14, 2015 7:43 pm
The little spin around was enough to drag Tolliver out of his haze, and he let out a joyous, surprised laugh, burying his face into Hitch's hair and holding on tightly. It was probably a little silly, but he absolutely adored when Hitch carried him like this; it made him feel weightless, comforted, precious, and Tolliver didn't want to let go, even when they finally made it into the apartment.
"The loft is just the loft," Tolliver said softly, lifting his head enough to look around and take in the details of the place. "It was where I lived with my brother, the two of us, but - but if you want me to - I mean, I want to, I want to be with you, but I don't want to impose, but just - "
He clung tighter to Hitch, face back into his hair.
"This is where I feel the best," he said, and his voice was muffled. "This is where I started falling for you, where I started to adore you, this is where you make me feel like I matter, where you are, and I've never felt more at home than I do when I'm with you."
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Posted: Fri Aug 14, 2015 8:03 pm
Hitch shut his eyes and let Tolliver's words sink in, trying to accept them for what they were instead of examining them from every angle for flaws, any way those feelings might be tapped the wrong way and break apart in his hands.
"I felt like s**t, " and again, he never talked like this when he was sober. "Cause that whole thing, when it happened with your brother an' all, I - you were so miserable an' s**t, an' I would've been too, but - " He laughed a little, grateful that Tolliver had buried his face and couldn't see him or the too serious look in his eyes. "I was so happy when you asked to stay, y'know? It was the worst ********' situation, but... I was really, really ********' happy."
And it was terrible, because Tolliver had been in such a bad way ever since. He knew it wasn't because of him exactly (well, it sort of was - if he hadn't seduced Tolli to begin with - but that wasn't something he wanted taken back), but still: he'd taken so much pleasure in something that hit his lover, his boyfriend, so hard he was still reeling from it. It was sort of ******** up, and he knew it.
But hearing that... it helped. It made him think maybe he wasn't such a terrible person after all. (Still terrible, he was always terrible, but not completely terrible.) He shivered a little at the implication, the heaviness of Tolliver's confession. "You could never impose on me - even if you could, you'd ********' know it, I - I love havin' you here. Really."
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