|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
 Posted: Sun Sep 21, 2014 12:28 am
ghosts
Okay. He liked it. Good start. She felt her heart rate rise like they has just started dating all over again, back to the awkward but endearing stage of nervous communication. She wondered if Gale could feel that beat while on his perch.
"M'glad to hear that."
Carefully Stormy gathered his hands up and clasped them between hers before scooting and turning so she faced him. The darkness didn't matter, but the principle of the action did to her. "I was thinking..." It was her turn to stroke his skin. "Maybe, ah...If you really did like it, you could move in next door..?"
|
 |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Sep 21, 2014 1:17 am
tea time
His fingers left a trail across her skin that made her want more, but she didn't move at first. She studied the ache in his eyes without blinking and drank it in until she felt the familiar sting heralding tears. Then slowly, with a strange deliberate air to her motions that was familiar (almost like a dance in slow motion, but more frail), she pushed her chair back, stood up, took his cup away, politely set it aside, and then hugged him close in spite of their differing positions.
"You're still here," she said softly, her head perched on his shoulder and lolled against his neck. "Even when I pushed you away. Even when I went crazy. Even when I lied to you and hurt you. Even when you had and still have many reasons to leave, you stayed." Her voice quavered at the word. "A-And that's more than I could ask you to do. Being there has meant everything to me."
Her chest hurt with each breath, though her embrace wasn't its usual tight hold. She was fighting base instinct again, making herself speak when every impulse was to shut up. Her shoulders rose and her breath hitched and one of her hands began to thread through his hair."I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, Gale, because you don't deserve this, you d-don't deserve what I give because there's so much—there's s-so much better out there for someone like you, s-someone who's patient a-and smart and—and compassionate and brave, someone people look up to. You could go places, Gale, you already are. And sometimes—sometimes I-I feel like I'm just holding you back with my shitty life, s-s-sometimes I feel like m-maybe I should just stop existing so no-one h-has to worry about me ******** up anymore, like maybe it d-doesn't have to be three lives when i-it could be just one a-and—n' that I need t'stop being selfish about it."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Sep 21, 2014 1:44 pm
monsters inside me
He led her carefully out of the bathroom, toward the bed again. Gale's brows drew together in confusion, in concern.
"Saw who?" he asked quietly, not entirely certain he wanted to know the answer.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Sep 21, 2014 1:47 pm
ghosts
The bed shifted as she turned to face him, the blankets tangling around their legs, and Gale raised his eyebrows in mild bemusement. His hands were now clasped within hers, her thin, dark fingers wrapped around his paler ones, her expression several different things at once.
He stared at her.
"You want me to...move out of my house?" he asked her, not incredulously, but curiously, as though he was trying to make sure he was reading the message right. "Move out and...move in next door to you?"
There was a slight pause.
"How come?"
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Sep 21, 2014 1:56 pm
tea time
Before he could react to his abruptly taken teacup, Stormy's thin arms were around him, and she was curled around him in a loose embrace, her voice trembling, her voice barely above a whisper. Gale could feel his heart beating inside of his chest; a slow, rhythmic thumping that made his chest feel tighter than it should have.
He opened his mouth to say something, but it was lost as soon as she kept going, and then a torrent of words spilled out, stumbled over, washed over him like raindrops and Gale had suddenly forgotten how to breathe, how to move, and he sat frozen in his seat with eyes that widened at every word.
With the same deliberate air, though more sudden, Gale pushed back his chair with a startlingly loud scrape, and he'd seized Stormy's shoulders, slid his hands up so that he could cup her face, tilt it up so that his eyes could see into hers.
"Don't," he said, and the single word was heavy with emotion, with pain, with a desperate longing. "I don't want anyone but you, I don't need anyone but you, you have to exist, I need you to exist, please for the love of everything, don't leave me, I can't - "
And this time it was his own eyes that stung, his own eyes that seemed too bright.
"I don't want to live a life where you don't exist."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Sep 21, 2014 3:06 pm
tea time
It was an ugly, ugly thought, but at least she'd spit it out. At least it wasn't percolating in her head, oozing black ink into her mind. She needed to hear a no that wasn't in her voice because hers wasn't strong enough anymore.
Her eyes were clenched tight uselessly, tears already making their way down her cheeks by the time Gale pulled her back. She'd started a little at the loud scrape and her shoulders remained stiff because she was talking about this at last and his reaction scared her. It was frightening to mean this much to someone, and it almost overtook the mix of shame and guilt boiling her from inside.
Stormy managed to open her eyes with a sharp sniffle, her eyes so watery that even inches from her, Gale's face was a blur. "Just," she said thickly, "I-I just, I had t'tell you it was there." Her shoulders seized again with another soft sob before her hands swept his hair down and held his face, trembling, fighting to breathe.
"I'm sorry, I'm s-sorry but I love you." The greatest and most painful of her apologies. "It scares me how—how m-much, a-and I shouldn't've, I—I-I should've known better, I should've let you go before I cursed you, b-b-but I c-can't, I can't, m'falling n' the o-only thing I can do is—is pull you down with me..."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Sep 21, 2014 3:18 pm
ghosts
"Mmhmm. I was thinking," she said, trying to sound as neutral as possible so that she wouldn't pressure him, though her hands squeezed his. "If you move in next door, we could knock out the wall between us, make two small apartments become one big one. Then we could renovate: you could get a study, we could have a real living room, a real kitchen, a nice shower, share a bedroom—"
She stopped herself and began to blush. "I, um...What I mean is, we could make a small house here practically. And it'd be safer here than in the towns, and you wouldn't be so far from your office, and...you wouldn't be alone out there."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Sep 21, 2014 3:28 pm
monsters inside me
"My sister," she said in a tone that clearly didn't mean María Lucía, the eldest.
Insistently Stormy turned them towards her kitchenette, and when they were close enough she let go of Gale and leaned over the sink. Turning up the cold water as much as it could go, she splashed her face several times, then around her neck and arms and legs, and then drank straight from the faucet until she swore she'd taken up a gallon. Sighing afterwards, she turned the sink off but remained bent over the counter, taking deep breaths.
"D'you ever see Leslie sometimes? Or Ben? Any've them?"
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Sep 21, 2014 5:15 pm
monsters inside me
A feeling of ice had settled in the pit of his stomach. His arm fell away from Stormy as she moved towards the sink in the kitchenette area, and he stared after her, mouth slightly agape before he remembered to close it, before she came back. He felt horribly caught off guard.
"...I..." Gale stopped, swallowed, and tried again. "Ben, sometimes," he admitted quietly. "Though...though not recently, not for a while. And Leslie, once or twice, but..."
He trailed off, biting his lower lip.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Sep 21, 2014 5:18 pm
ghosts
He waited until she had finished speaking, his mind trying to comprehend just what she was asking. It was like moving in, it was almost moving in, and the thought was, surprisingly, very appealing, especially since Stormy had told him before that she wanted her own space.
But he'd worked so hard for the little yellow house; it had taken him months to get it habitable and then another several months rebuilding it when it had been destroyed (twice). It was the first thing he'd gotten when he'd become a full hunter, his pride and joy.
Still...
"Are you worried about me, being out there on my own?" he asked her gently, extracting one hand from her grasp to gently touch her cheek. "I mean...I'm not...I'm not against the idea of moving in, and it does...sound very nice..."
Gale was momentarily lost in thought, his expression not doubtful but rather contemplative.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Sep 21, 2014 5:25 pm
tea time
The pounding in his ears was almost deafening. He stood there, in the little kitchen, with his trembling hands on either side of Stormy's face, with his heart beating so loudly that he felt like it could be heard a mile away, and the three words he had longed to hear for so long were right there in front of him at last; were ringing loudly, in spite of the quiet tone of of her voice, within Gale's heart.
A sudden movement, a quick move of his feet and then he'd crushed his mouth against hers in a kiss, his eyes stinging with a moisture he didn't want to fall, because he didn't want her to feel any more pain looking at him, because he thought his chest might burst with all of the emotions within him.
"Then I'll go with you," he said with a gasp, as he pulled away, and his voice was half pleading, half a myriad of other emotions that he couldn't even beginning to name. "Stormy, I love you, and if it means going down that hole with you, then I'm jumping in right after you, I won't - I can't - let you go, I know that's selfish, I know it's greedy, and I know it's just - but I can't, I don't want to be without you, I don't want to wake up without you existing."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Sep 21, 2014 5:46 pm
ghosts
She waited and in the silence cursed herself for going off like that. Too much bias. She didn't want Gale saying yes just because she sounded so enthusiastic about it, especially since not that long ago he had offered for her to move in at his place. In fact, remembering it was an extra slap to the face. Good job, Stormy.
"Always a little worried," she admitted, then quickly went on, "But you don't have to make a decision right now! I mean, it's the middle of the night. We should be sleeping." And she did feel a little tired now, thankfully, after all their talking. "Take your time. I'm okay with whatever you go with." She knew how much that house meant to Gale.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Sep 21, 2014 5:59 pm
monsters inside me
She continued to take deep breaths, her eyes closed momentarily. Her fever didn't feel as bad, though it still felt like there was a hook in her stomach. At least she was confident she wouldn't throw anything else up.
Cautiously Stormy straightened up, testing her limits. No lightheadedness, no hot flash. "I hope you don't see them too," she murmured. "We only need one crazy person in this relationship."
She shuffled back to him, hyper aware of the goosebumps on her body, and took his hand again. "Sorry for waking you up," she said again, "but thanks for helping." Hesitating, she added, "Did it look bad?"
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Sep 21, 2014 7:04 pm
tea time
She found herself holding onto him for dear life even though her legs still worked, willing herself to crumble apart in his grip. But her body remained obstinately whole, the kiss too wet, her heartbeat going so fast she grew lightheaded. This wasn't where she was supposed to say it, or how, or why, and she hated that after holding it in for so long, those three words had been squandered in the middle of a rant about suicide.
But she kissed him fiercely because she meant them regardless.
She did her best to stifle her gasps and sobs afterwards, though the tears continued coming despite her efforts. Realizing she had been gripping Gale's face too tightly for a while now, she let her fingers grow a little slack. Breathe. So she did for a while, trying to clear her vision with rapid blinks. But her fingers wanted to keep curling as if they were going to fall any second now, that if they weren't holding on for every second of every day that it'd catch them off guard and he'd be lost.
Breathe, Stormy reminded herself.
She sniffled and wiped her face against her shoulder without letting him go. "I-I'm sorry that took so long," she said hoarsely, her gaze dipping to his chin, her fingers trembling.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Posted: Sun Sep 21, 2014 7:50 pm
monsters inside me
He gave her half a smile, though it wasn't because he was actually amused. "You're not crazy," said Gale, though he knew she wouldn't believe him, but he said it anyway. He slowly sat down on the foot of the bed, hands curling over the edge; at least until Stormy came toward him and took one of them again. Gale squeezed her fingers gently.
"Not bad," he said quietly, after a moment. "A little scary. I wasn't...I wasn't sure what to do."
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Reply
