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 Posted: Thu Mar 13, 2014 11:16 pm
"Then you've already decided what to do, haven't you?" Jordan leaned his elbows on his knees and laced his fingers together around his coffee cup. "It's going to be awkward for a while. But if he's really your best friend, he'll still want to be your friend, and in time, things will feel less weird again."
He studied Al, silently examining his own reactions. Relief, selfishly, that he wasn't going to have to deal with the shitstorm that would happen if Al decided that he was going to chase his friend, but accompanied by a kind of muted, tired sorrow that the kid felt that he had to hide a part of himself, that Al would lose a chance at something good he wanted and might have had. At least he wasn't denying it entirely any more. Denying a part of yourself could poison you slowly, and Jordan liked the kid enough that he didn't want to see that happen.
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Posted: Fri Mar 14, 2014 3:31 am
Al didn't look relieved. He looked nauseas if anything. He had a real want for himself but everything he already had stood in the way. It was made clear no compromise could happen and for that he felt weak. He just slumped in silence, no words would make any of it better now. Just sadness and loss.
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Posted: Fri Mar 14, 2014 10:33 am
Jordan leaned over to pat Al's shoulder sympathetically. This wasn't a decision he could make for Al; ultimately, this one came down to a choice between what Al had and could lose and what he might gain, and everything in Al's life had weighted the scales on one side. It didn't surprise Jordan that Al had decided the way he had, but the misery on Al's face was difficult to look at. There was no easy answer.
"For both of your sakes, don't let him keep thinking something might be possible if you're not going to pursue it," he advised. "It'll be awkward and painful to tell him that, but it's worse if you leave it unresolved, seriously."
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Posted: Fri Mar 14, 2014 11:02 am
The look on Al's face scrunched up further before he turned to try and smoosh into Jordan's shoulder, "Do you think he will ever let me?" His voice was wet and dripping with feelings he struggled to tamp down under foot.
Please.
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Posted: Fri Mar 14, 2014 11:22 am
Jordan patted Al's back and suppressed a sigh. "I don't think it's likely." He was going to stay as neutral as he could in this; he wasn't going to tell Al what to do. He'd provide what information he could, but the decision had to be Al's.
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Posted: Fri Mar 14, 2014 11:30 am
Al nodded against Jordan with a sniffle. He needed to talk to Noah again it seemed. There was just no way around it. Jordan was smart; when he says something is hopeless - it's a statement of fact. He withdrew; both physically and emotionally. He sat back with a sniff then slurped his now stone cold coffee like a big boy, "thanks for trying. I'll let him know."
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Posted: Fri Mar 14, 2014 11:42 am
Jordan half-smiled, acknowledging the thanks. "Sorry I couldn't be more help," he said.
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Posted: Fri Mar 14, 2014 12:15 pm
Al finished his coffee and set down the empty mug. He drew a deep quivering breath and after exhaling became still. "If anything ever changes, let me know." There was a flash of softness, "and the coffee was tasty." He stood, certain he was overstaying his welcome.
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Posted: Fri Mar 14, 2014 2:59 pm
Jordan nodded, but didn't make any move to stop Al. Al would need some processing time, and that was probably best done alone. He debated with himself for a moment, decided not to say anything further. Al would work it out, get over it or not get over it, and he'd probably be back to ask more questions later. The kindest thing he could do right now was let Al take off and salvage some of his pride by moping privately instead of with an audience.
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Posted: Fri Mar 14, 2014 3:18 pm
Al honestly wanted Jordan to stop him but he was loathe to ever hint at that. He threw a quick wave and turned to leave without another word. He wanted to go to Noah but knew now was really not the best time for either one of them.
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