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 Posted: Wed Apr 13, 2016 4:37 pm
Journal 13
Abioye had been on her mind, even if she wished he hadn't been. Most of the time she could just ignore the thoughts, make herself busy with whatever task that she could think of, but today wasn't one of those days. Today was one of the days she couldn't do much of anything because she was thinking of him. She knew there was a big chance she would never see him again, even if he had said he would come and see her. Plus there was the fact that she wasn't sure how she felt about him. Although if she was being honest with herself she would see that her feelings towards him were more then just those of a friendship, she wasn't sure if she was okay with that. She wasn't sure if she was ready for that. However she considered herself fortunate for the fact that he was so far away. That way she could live in her ignorant state of mind where they were just friends and she felt nothing more then friendship towards him.
Laying on her bed Zuri had started to entertain the idea of what being in a relationship once again would be like when there was a knock on her door. At once both Sneeu and Haimach started to bark and it took Zuri a few seconds to calm the two of them down and get to the door. She wasn't expecting any visitors so she wondered who it could be, most likely one of her siblings. However when she opened the door Zuri was greeted not by her siblings, or anyone from Zena for that matter, but by Abioye. Covered in more furs then she had ever seen on one person was the very person she had been thinking of.
For a seconds Zuri just stood there. Not sure what to do or how to react. Although time seemed to be moving in slow motion for Zuri she must have been standing there for some time because he started to look around as if he was looking for an escape route.
"Um... This must be a bad time. I'll come back later, or not at all..." Abioye started to turn, to walk away, when Zuri reached out and grabbed his shoulder.
"I'm sorry, you must think me so rude! I was just shocked to see you, please come in!" Zuri moved aside, a smile wide on her face. She was happy, she was worried, she was confused, Zuri could barely tell what she was feeling with all these emotions inside of her. "I'll start you a fire, you must be freezing!"
A smile spread across his face, a look of relief, as he walked into the house. "I didn't meant to barge in on you, really. It was just you said to come and I got bored back at home so I decided to come. I really should have written you to tell you I was coming. I just wanted it to be a surprise. I thought you'd like it. I'm sorry."
"No! It's a wonderful surprise! I just wasn't expecting visitors." Zuri looked around her house and although it wasn't a mess it wasn't how she would like it for a visitor to see. She quickly picked up some things, moving others to their rightful places, as she made her way to the fire place. "Come, sit over here. You'll get warm faster if you take off all your layers and just sit close to the fire."
She looked over at Abioye who looked skeptical at her advice, but did as she said none the less. As he did so, leaving his furs on the table she had to the side of the fire place, Zuri cleaned. After allowing her to do so for a few seconds Abioye started to laugh.
"You know I came to see you, not a clean house. I had one of those back in Matori. Come, sit with me by the fire place. I know it would be warmer with you next to me. You can tell me all about Sneeu, he's gotten even bigger, and I can tell you about my journey here."
She froze, unsure of what to do. Although Zuri wanted to sit with him, she really did, they hadn't been that close to each other in some time. She knew that if they were then maybe her budding feelings would come rushing back in a way that was impossible for even her to ignore. "He has gotten big hasn't he. He out grew the lovely saddle we made sadly, but please tell me about how you got here. I'll start us up some hot tea."
He watched her as she moved to make the tea, his eyes never leaving her and his smile never leaving his face. "Well you're a well known person in these parts Zuri, that's for sure. So finding you once I got here wasn't very hard. Though the journey from my house to here wasn't the best. I see why you brought your familiars. Half way here and I hitched a ride with a caravan, and man did my feet thank me then." He paused.
"Go on."
"I only got attacked once, but thankfully there were other travels near me and they came to my rescue, but other then that it was just long. Long and tiring."
Attacked? Attacked! He had been attacked while coming to see her and still didn't turn back? Immediately Zuri went to him, the tea completely forgotten. Her eyes searched for signs of cuts or bruises while her hands found his way to his shoulders. "Are you okay? Did they hurt you? Where was this?" She would make them pay for hurting him.
"Ah so you do care about me." Abioye took her hands in his. "I'm fine. But I'll be much better now that I'm back with you. Zuri... After you left you've been all I can think about. I miss you more and more every day. That's why I made the trip here. That's why I couldn't help but make the trip, even if it was dangerous. My feelings for you are more then that of a friend, and honestly if you don't feel the same way I can go and find somewhere else to stay before making the trek back. However if they are the same... I'd like to stay."
She did want him to stay. She did have those kind of feelings for him, the kind that bested even the ones that she felt when she first met her ex husband. As he held her hands in hers Zuri was more sure then ever how she felt. She hadn't forgiven herself completly for her daughters deaths, but maybe this would be a start. "Stay. I want you to stay. This is new to me, I haven't been with anyone in a long time, but if you're willing to try so am I."
Word count : 1163 / 1000
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Posted: Sat Apr 16, 2016 4:44 pm
Growth Solo
Having Abioye with her was nice. They were taking things slow, as per her request, but he really did make her happy. It was nice to feel happy all the time again, to feel giddy at the thought of someone else. Even though it had been almost a whole year now she still smiled every time she thought of him. However as more and more time passed Zuri came to the realization that maybe her home wasn't the best place for them. He wanted to work, to be able to help support them, and although he was currently working at someone else's workshop Zuri knew he wanted one attached to the home like his old one. He had sacrificed so much to come to Zena to be there, so in a way she owed it to him to make his stay as enjoyable as possible. She already made sure he had the best furs and things to keep him warm, it would be some time before he was even close to being use to the cold, and now she needed to see about getting a bigger house.
All day while he worked on a new saddle for Sneeu and some things for people in the village she had been looking getting them into a new house. She figured it would be best to find a home for them and then just tell him. It was also how their relationship seemed to work. She was in charge of the decisions, and he was okay with that. In fact he seemed to be more then okay with that, he seemed to really like it. It was an enjoyable dynamic. Even though she was still a little worried that he would change, like her ex did, she was slowly becoming more and more comfortable around him. There were signs that Biroki showed before his personality change, signs she had ignored, but now with Abioye she watched for them. She would not be caught off guard this time. However much to her relief he didn't show any of them. He was perfect for her, and she couldn't be happier.
It was late when Zuri walked into the home she now shared with Abioye. He already had food at the table and was warming himself by the fire. "Hello lovely, you were out late today?" He inquired. She liked that about him. He always asked about her day, about her life, but he did it in a way that she didn't have to answer if she didn't want to. He left the ball in her court.
"Yes I was. I've been out all day looking for a house for us." Straight to the point, there was no reason to beat around with it. Now that she had found them a house it was just a matter of making sure he wanted to stay in Zena, that he wanted to stay with her for good. "I found one. It's big enough for us and not only has room for my companions here but for your work shop," there was some more room for that but Zuri figured they could use the extra room for his work shop stuff, "that is, if you aren't planning on leaving."
Abioye nodded, standing from the fire and heading towards her and the food. "Sounds good to me. Where's the house? Tell me over dinner."
And just like that it was done. They were moving in together, their relationship solidified. Zuri sat down at the table, taking his hand in hers once he had sat down. She had a feeling that it would be that easy. Everything was that easy when it came to Abioye. "It's near the center of town, which will be good for your business. I didn't actually go and see it today, I figured I'd wait till you could come with me. I just talked to the child of the old owner who told me that the house had been abandoned for a while now and that he wouldn't mind if we took it in exchange for the house I have now."
"This is your childhood home. Are you sure you're willing to trade it in? I'm more then happy to stay here, so don't do it for me. Where ever you go I shall follow."
With a smile Zuri started to eat her meal, "My father wouldn't want me to stay somewhere that was too small. He would want us to move, and if trading the house was how we moved into a bigger one then he would be happy that we traded it." With the matter settled the two of them talked of the future and their new home for many house, moving from the table, to besides the fireplace, to their final destination. Their bedroom.
----
The next day the pair of them stopped by the workshop to let the people that Abioye worked with that he was busy for the day and then they headed to see the house. Zuri wanted to see it and make sure it was good enough before she finalizing the trade and started moving all of their stuff over.
Just as Zuri had been told the house looked like it had been abandoned for some time, which meant the outside could use some work but Zuri was up to the challenge and she knew that Abioye would be down to help as well. The walked in and instantly Zuri liked it. There was a large fire place in the main room and the work shop was just the right size, much like the one that he had back home.
The last room they wanted to check out was the bedrooms. The first one was nice, but as they opened the door to the master bedroom they were greeted by the sight of a child. The little boy was curled up by the fire place with a big fur wrapped around him. He just started at them as Zuri looked around and realized there was no one else in the room, just the child. "Where is your family and what are you doing here?" she asked.
The boy stood, his face somber. "I'm sorry, it's just no one lives here and I have no where to live. My family didn't want me anymore... I can leave though, I'm sorry that I bothered you."
As Zuri looked the little boy over she realized that like her he was a hybrid. After exchanging a look with Abioye Zuri sighed. Although she didn't want to let the child stay, there were orphanages for children without families, she could tell that her love felt differently. Plus she was very aware of the fact that some orphanages didn't take hybrid children. "No you can stay, until we find a better place for you. But not in this room, this is our room, the other room. It's not a permanent thing though." She added to both the boy and Abioye as she watched grins spread across both of their faces. She had been a mother once already and she wasn't ready to be one again.
----
As soon as they were moved in Zuri started working to find the young boy a suitable family. After checking out a few orphanages she decided it would be best if she just found a family for him herself. She didn't want him to live in an orphanage his whole life, and that was what it seemed happened to hybrids in places like that. Abioye loved having the child there and even brought up the idea of having a child of their own a few days after taking care of the child but Zuri shot the idea down right away. She was not ready for a child. Not again.
After a few weeks the boy started to grow on Zuri in a way she didn't expect. Although she still looked for a home for him she was less diligent in her search. The sound of the boy and Abioye laughing warmed her heart, and the young boy's foot steps through the house made it seemed more full of life.
One day while Abioye was working the boy decided to to ask Zuri about why she didn't have any children. Although caught off guard she told him the story of her girls, her daughters, and how she had lost them both. At the end he went over and hugged her, telling her that he bet she was a wonderful mother to them since she was good to him and he wasn't even her child. It was then that something seemed to click inside Zuri. She was a good mother. She had been before and she was to all that passed through her life needing a mother figure. Maybe it was time to stop beating herself up for the loss of her daughters and be happy about all the wonderful things she had given them.
----
The very next day during breakfast someone knocked at their front door. As always Sneeu and Haimach started to bark and as Zuri went to calm them down Abioye got the door.
When he called her over Zuri was confused, she had never seen either of the people standing there. The explained that they had heard of the hybrid boy that didn't have a home and that they were unable to have a child of their own and willing to adopt him. Zuri's throat tightened at the thought of losing the young boy, but this had been her goal since they met him. Hadn't it?
After introducing the boy to the couple it was decided that they would take him. The boy seemed excited to have a new family and thanked both Abioye and Zuri for taking care of him for as long as they did.
Watching him go Zuri was filled with sadness, a sadness that she didn't expect. Was this not her wish? She hadn't been ready for a child and now she didn't have one. Only she found that maybe she was ready. Maybe she did want one, one of her very own.
That night as they went to bed Zuri told Abioye that she changed her mind. She was ready to be a mother again. She was ready to have a child.
Word count : 1718 / 1500
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Posted: Mon May 09, 2016 7:30 pm
Journal 14
Zuri had heard the announcement, another tournament to be held for all of the races to come together and this time in Oba. Although she found it odd that the Oban King would offer to hold the tournament, since the last one ended in him declaring war on the rest of the races, she was pleased. She had had fun at the tournament before and she knew a new one would life her spirits even more. She had recently been promoted to the rank of rider, and she couldn't wait to show off the skill that she had on top of Sneeu's back.
However there was one problem with her plan. Abioye. Or rather he wasn't a problem, she knew the Matori man would follow her to the ends of the earth, but the plans the two of them had been talking about. They wanted children, they both knew this, but how would she be able to fight if she was pregnant. Sure there was time, if she got pregnant right away, but would she really want to fight so soon after having a child? She didn't remember having issues after her daughters were born, but she was younger then and bounced back much quicker from things. She knew that Abioye would watch their child while she fought, and even though he was no fighter she believed in his ability to protect their child, so the problem was with her.
Even still she wasn't sure if she could have a child. She wasn't old, she heard of women having children much older then she was, but she wasn't young either. She had her twins at the age when most women had children, now she was kind of pushing it. But she did want one so bad. Both so that she could have a child the belonged to both her and Abioye but also because she missed the presence of a child. Sure she could adopt, and her and Abioye had talked about it before, but that wasn't the same. Sure she would love the child, as would her lover, but it wasn't what she wanted.
"I could watch you think all day."
Zuri chuckled as she turned around. She had been lost at thought, staring out into the snowy landscape from their doorway. "You say that about everything I do."
"And I mean it. I could watch you do everything and anything. Now, what were you thinking?"
"Oh of many things. Of the upcoming tournament and how you're going to feel seeing all of your old friends," while she hadn't been thinking that if he hadn't interrupted her she was sure that was where her thoughts would've gone next, "and of us and our desire for a child. I'm not sure if we should stop trying until after the tournament, or if maybe we should give up and start looking at adoption as an option? You know we aren't all that young. Or maybe you are but I'm not." She always teased him about his age, even though he wasn't really that much younger then her. Though from what she had heard from some of the midwives it didn't matter much about the father's age, it was the mother's age that affected if the couple would have children or not.
"Do you want to wait? I mean I know you could start drinking that tea that the women drink to not get pregnant, but it's all up to you my dear. Though I don't think we should be looking at adoption as an option just yet. We've only just started trying."
Zuri nodded, he was right of course. Her view of it all was just skewed by how fast her and Biroki had gotten pregnant. It seemed like she was pregnant just after they started, but that could be just her memories deceiving her. The more time that passed between events the more that her memories of them became muddles. "How much longer though do you think we should try until we think of adoption? Like I said we aren't getting any younger, and I don't want to have to take care of a baby or a youngling when I'm an old women."
Abioye walked over, wrapping his arms around her. "Oh shush, you are far from an old woman." He stayed silent for a second, his brows creased as he seemed to be lost in thought. "How about this. We try for a year, and after that then we start looking at adoption as an option but we don't stop trying. Only after we've adopted a child do we stop, or maybe we could not even stop then and possibly end up with two children in the house?"
Zuri rolled his eyes. She had twins before, so although he didn't know what it was like to have two younglings running about at the same time she did and she wasn't keen on doing that again. She loved her girls with all of her being, but man had they been a handful at times. No, one child would be enough. "That sounds like a plan, but don't count on two children Abioye, I assure you that once we have one full time you will see that one is more then enough work for the two of us."
He chucked. "You know best."
For a while the two of them just stood there, Zuri relishing in his embrace. The world was so much of a better place now that she had him. She regretted all the time she wasted hating herself and closing herself off to love. If she would've just let him in sooner then she could have had this feeling for a much longer time. But that was the past, and at least now they had each other.
"Hey, what do you say?" Abioye kissed her collar bone. "We haven't tried today and neither of us have plans for the rest of the day. Who knows. Today might be our lucky day."
With a laugh Zuri turned around so she was facing him, and after a long lead him towards their room. He had a point, you never knew which day would be the day.
Word count : 1036 / 1000
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Posted: Fri Jun 03, 2016 1:10 pm
Journal 15
She knew the signs, knew what is was like being pregnant. She had a child before, and although it had been some time since then she still remembered. The feeling of being regent wasn't something that one easily forgot. The signs came slowly, it wasn't something that happened all of a sudden but rather something that happened little by little. First it was the bathroom breaks that she had to take more often then normally, but she could chalk that up to her just drinking more water due to the anxiety that the tournament brought her. Then after that it was the morning sickness, which she could also take to mean that her anxiety was getting the best of her, but it was the last symptom that sealed the deal for her. She didn't even need to go see the midwives, she knew as soon as the 'full' feeling that she had last time started. It was hard for her to describe, but she was pretty sure all mothers felt it. The feeling of being complete, of not being alone ever, of having a living thing growing inside of you. It was wonderful.
Even though she knew it to be true, that she was with child, she wanted to check with the healers and midwives first anyways. She didn't want to tell Abioye without knowing it was true, and having someone else to back her up should he question it. This was his first child, and she knew he would be over the moon when he found out they were having a child.
She wondered if this meant she couldn't fight, or that he wouldn't want her to. She knew it wasn't safe, but these fights weren't real fights and she really was barely pregnant. She was pretty sure that as long as she was extra careful no harm would come to their unborn child. She was also a more then capable fighter, so it wasn't likely that anyone would be able to hurt her anyways. She had confidence in her ablities. She hoped he wouldn't try to stop her from fighting, though it was unlikely he would. He trusted her, and if she said she would be safe then he would trust that. At least she hoped he would.
----
After the midwives and healers had confirmed that she was indeed pregnant Zuri rushed home to see her mate. She couldn't wait to tell him the good news.
At first she couldn't find him, but after searching for him some she found him in his workshop working on a new design. He didn't notice her, his back was to her and he was working on some sort of design. She stood there in the doorway for a second, wondering what the best way to tell him was. But found there was no perfect way. She couldn't remember how she told her ex-husband and decided to blurt it out.
"We're having a baby."
At once he sat up, bur didn't turn to face her. Slowly he moved, his eyes wide. "What did you say?"
"You heard me. Abioye we're going to be parents!"
At once tears sprung into his eyes. He stood up quickly, rushing to meet her in a warm embrace.
For a while they just stood there, eventually Zuri was crying as well and they were just one big mess of tears.
When they finally stopped crying, or at least got control of the tears Abioye put his hands on her belly, just standing there smiling. "I'm going to be a father."
----
"I'm going Abioye, no matter if you pout about it or not." Zuri said, trying to keep the sharp edge from her voice. They had fought about her going once, and since then although he didn't say anything she knew from the way that he acted that Abioye didn't want her going.
"I'm not pouting."
"Sure."
Already the baby was putting stress on their relationship. Though she knew it wasn't the baby's fault but hers. She wanted to fight, wanted to be part of the action. Having another child really wasn't part of her plan, and although she was thrilled to death about being pregnant she wasn't going to stop her life because of it. Sure she would be careful, even more so then she normally would, but she wouldn't not fight.
"Look Abioye you don't have to go. If it would make you feel better you can stay here and wait for me to come back. I will leave as soon as the fights are over, I promise. No harm will come to me or our child. You have to trust me on his one."
Abioye sighed from the other side of the room as he walked over to her, putting his hands on her shoulders. "Where you go I go Zuri, always and forever. I came all the way over here to Zena to be with you, and I will continue to follow you wherever you want to go. You know I don't like the idea of you fighting, but it;s not because I don't trust you. I don't trust them, those you would be fighting against. I don't know them, don't trust them, to take care of you or be careful for our child. I will go with you, I will be there in the healer's tent should you fall. I love you and I trust you, okay?"
With a smile on her face Zuri kissed her lover. "Good, now that everything is settled let's finish packing. We don't want to be late so we have to leave by tomorrow at the latest."
She could do this. Be a mother and a fighter. She would show him.
Word count : 1019 / 1000
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