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 Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2012 9:08 pm
How the ******** did he have the key. Just how. Madison stared at Robert in mounting horror. He was going to die. He was going to die so hard. Poor Robert- ... And then something in the quality of her stare changed. Robert really was a shitty actor, at least when he wasn't dancing, and he had the keycard and he'd had the folder and the HOLY s**t WHAT. Madison pointed at him. "You. What. You're not... are you. In a golem. No, that's stupid, who the hell would make a Robert-golem- Caelius?" That last word was spoken in a horrified and strangled squeak, caught somewhere between sheer terror, relief that she hadn't been a total a*****e in front of him, and utter disbelief and fear that he'd already killed Robert and was now using her friend's body as a coat.
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Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2012 10:17 pm
"Hm." While he didn't quite outright deny not being Robert, it seemed Caelius was just figuring out right now that he was a very bad actor when he was pissed. It seemed Madison's epiphany came just at the perfect time too. It didn't take a ******** genius to figure out that even with the most liberal of spelling errors that 'bug her off' did not ******** mean 'yes' or perhaps 'immediately sir' or perhaps even 'yes immediately before I ******** die, sir'. He kept his features excessively neutral, though his tone was low, something Madison might recognize if Caelius was actually, you know, Caelius. It was that sort of warning he gave right before a trainee or anyone in the vicinity, if they were lucky, ended up in the Life Labs hospital.
"Madison. I assume you are on very good terms with your friend Robert. If you cannot locate your very good friend Robert as ******** close to immediately as possible, after this status effect expires, will I end Robert's short and miserable existence and will be more than happy to reassess your overall contribution to Deus Ex Machina as well."
The threat very, painfully clear. "Now, tell me, do you have any <******** idea where your good friend Robert, assuming both of your wish to remain breathing tomorrow, would be at this very point in time?"
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Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2012 10:24 pm
"He's not, uh, in there... uh nevermind," Madison said, quickly, realizing that finishing that sentence was not going to be good for her lifespan. How the hell had this even happened and where would Robert be... ... Oh. Oh no. Oh no. And yet at the same time, oh yes. Sheer terror and utter hilarity warred in Madison's mind for a moment. "Yes sir! He probably ran off to do some... stupid s**t, sir! Because that is what he does, sir!" Pretty much, and she loved him for it, at least right now. Okay. So. Petr- no, not Petra, because if what she thought had happened was happening, he would never, not with Caelius'- ERROR ERROR ERROR NOT THINKING ABOUT THAT. God."Could he have escaped to the outside world, sir! Using your credentials or your retinas or something, sir! He might be at a bar or gambling away your money, sir! I hope not though because I don't want him to die!"
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Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2012 10:46 pm
There was an audible silence as 'Robert' just stared at Madison. "Madison," he began, very slowly, one could almost, if they closed their eyes and imagined it very very hard, see the original expression of What Would Have Been Caelius looking very, very, very pissed off, "Robert did not even leave with my ******** wallet. Assuming that in your short and rather pathetic lifespan that you have ever used currency at or outside Deus Ex Machina ever, you would need to enter an access code or the actual ******** card which is still in my ******** wallet to have it cleared."
He thought about it for a second, whether or not it was possible to use someone else's cash without them knowing, clearly unaware of the Julie incident. "Other than the given access code, use of a paid credit system is logged through several budgeting records and..." Caelius continued to trail off regarding something about monthly finances, certain divisions over-budgeting and blowing things up instead, and responsible pool funds.
Why wouldn't this ******** day end. The last thing he wanted to do was contact that Clarissa b***h again and ask her to locate his own ******** cell phone through remote GPS, which was already difficult enough in itself since he had very kindly requested his own GPS feature to be removed months ago, though ironically, it might have actually explained why he was missing for two months if he had kept it working.
Another sigh. "You are dismissed trainee. If you find Robert, who, by no stretch of the imagination most likely ******** s**t up, then you will let me know as soon as possible his location. This information is to remain undisclosed between the two of us, do you understand?"
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Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2012 10:53 pm
"Yes, sir! Understood, sir - he's probably, like, somewhere around here then, sir!" Madison saluted as sharply as she could. "And, uh, my... mission reports are on your desk! Sir!" That said, she turned and ran down the hall, clapping her hands over her mouth once she'd judged herself far enough away from Caelobert to avoid instant death. Oh god, oh god, oh god. This was the funniest thing ever - if she could get to Robert before Caelius could and save his life, that ******** pulled out her phone and started texting as quickly as she could- To Robert's phone DUDE UR IN SO MUCH TRBL WHERE RU??? She sent it five times.
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Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2012 11:01 pm
Two seconds later, 'Robert' received five simultaneous texts all from Madison. Sosiqui Text from Robert:As Robert is unfortunately, to save his own worthless soul, pretending to be me for the day, then he, logically, would have my <******** cell phone.
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Posted: Mon Mar 12, 2012 11:04 pm
Oh... oh wait, Robert had Caelius' cell phone? Oh god. Madison stopped in the stairwell and leaned against the wall, panting mostly because laughter was interfering with her ability to breathe properly. It took her a moment to type out her reply: To Robert's cell phone (actually Caelius) And then: To Caelius' cell phone (actually Robert) UR SO FUKED AND NT IN TEH GOOD WAY WUT DID U DO???? WHR R U
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