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October 13th, 2005

Illumin was restless again, stalking up and down the length of his room until he was sure he was going to wear a rut in the floor. He shouldn't be so worried, Sosiqui teased him about it nightly - and he welcomed the diversion, the chance to indignantly pretend he didn't care.

But he did. She'd been gone too long, too long for his taste - and while he was sure Memi wouldn't come to any actual harm (since she did after all have a goddess within her), he wanted her to come back.

If nothing else, so he could see her again before Medicine devoured her... he shook his head, startling the nearby sprokets. The entire process of becoming a god had been thrilling to him, but the thought of Memi vanishing into her own goddess was repulsive to him.

Tired of doing nothing, Illumin went out into the hallway and stalked down the stairs. At least a change in scenery would help. Maybe.

Visibely he was not the only one to have thought about that.

Zero was sitting in one of the couches, staring out of the window, visibely lost in her own thought, cellphone open and looking like she was expecting a call at any second now, and that it simpely wouldn't come at all. Guitar laid still on her knees, not minding so much her odd position as the rest of her body was leaning, her elbow resting on the armrest to support the rest, black locks sprawling everywhere.

No news where good news... right ? Of course.

Illumin was surprised to see someone up at this hour - usually when he prowled around the house of an evening, everyone had retreated to their private chambers or wherever else they went. For a moment, he couldn't remember her name. "Music?" he asked, instead, since that he certainly recalled.

She perked a bit, sending a glance back at him.

"...My name is Zero." She reminded him, not sounding too annoyed or anything of the sort. "Im not music - not yet, anyway."

As if she needed a reminder.

"What sends you down at this time ?" She tilted her head a bit, visibely a bit curious.

"Zero, then," Illumin amended, remembering how Sosiqui had hated being called 'Light' before he had become dominant in this body. "I am... worried. You know the girl who came her at the same time you did? Medicine's chosen?" He had no idea how much contact Zero had had with Memi.

"Memi ?" Blink. "Of course I do... She's my best friend, you could say." She sent a glance at the cellphones, but pried her eyes from it. Staring at it wouldn't make it ring...

"...I take it you want to know how she is doing, then ?"

"You know?" Illumin scooted over to her chair so fast that it was startling. "Er, I mean... you know how she's doing? She's been gone too long. I'm Illumin. Light. She's been staying with me." Illumin paused and shook his head, as Sosiqui's laughter crackled through his mind. He struggled to regain composure.

"Errrr..." Startled ? Yes. Somehow, she managed to calm herself, and shift to sitting straight up.

"I went to her house... uh... A few days ago ? Take that with a grain of salt, I keep falling asleep for days on end, so I have no idea what today is." She mumbeled a bit. "She's fine."

Illumin nodded. "Falling asleep... perhaps Music is on the move, then. I did much the same to my host." He moved to sit cross-legged on the floor next to Zero's chair - not in front, though, as that would seem subservient. "What happened? Tell me everything. Er. Please."

"I figured so, since I've never had narcoleptic tendencies." She shrugged. "...Not much, really. I was worried so I called her, her parents let me come over, we had cookies and talked a bit. Her parents didn't seem to believe she wasn't staying... But im sure she'll make it work."

"Her family, yes." Illumin drummed his fingers on the side of the chair. "Will they stop her, do you think? Are they hampering her? She had said that she felt... stifled sometimes. Overly controlled."

"Yeah, seems like that type. Well, more her mom than her dad, at least that's what I could tell while I was there. I know they locked her in her room at least once..." She frowned a bit at the thought, visibely not too pleased. "...But I don't think that can stop her. I told her to call me if she needed me - she hasn't yet."

"They restrained her?" Illumin's eyes narrowed, and he frowned. Clearly, this was not what he wanted to hear. "And do they believe in the gods? That we exist? That Medicine has their daughter in thrall as surely as that disease once did?"

She blinked a bit in thought, a little surprised at all the question, probabely. It sounded almost as if she was being interogated... She shifted a but unconfortabely.

"I know at the very start they didn't. She did call them sometime before going home. I think they might at least be starting to aknowledge it... I guess if she told me more, it slipped. I know Panacea confused the hell out of a doctor, but well..."

"I see..." Illumin looked thoughtful. "Perhaps the appearance of other gods, gods manifested, would... convince them." He turned to peer at the phone as well. "So that box talks to her across distances? Fascinating."

"Or might freak the hell out of them even more and make them even more paranoid. I don't have an idea myself... Memi knows them better than we do - so im waiting on her, really." It sounded like a smart thing to do, anyway. Kamikazing herself in with a light god might not make things work.

And then, Illumin spoke again and a very slight "WTF ?!?" look formed on her face.

"....You... don't know about phones ? Not even from your host, or anything...?"

"Human trinkets," Illumin said dismissively. "Although 'electricity' is fascinating. So very good for light, certainly very useful... but gods have other ways of talking across distances. I think." He looked puzzled, as though the proper answer was something hovering just out of reach.

"...Well, I figure they would. But us humans can't, so we have to use our imaginations to create things." She shrugged. "Some "trinkets", as you call them, are actually considered extremely important to everyday life - like a phone, or electricity... And some well... ...err... I still refuse to believe a machine that ties your god damn tie for you was an essencial thing to create."

Tengent ?

"... tie?" Illumin shook his head. "Clothing, feh. Humans put too much stock in such things. But... we are drifting off course." He drummed his fingers on the chair's arm again. "Can you speak to her with that phone? Do you know how to make it... do what it does?"

...Well, what did he take her for, a total moron ?

"Well, given that I assembled it myself down to the last screw, I think I might." Oi. "I can try to call."

Illumin frowned at her impudence, then crossed his arms. "Well, go ahead."

She barely kept herself from muttering a few choices words in japanese, instead taking the cellphone from it's case and flipping it open, quickly inputting the number before bringing it to her ear, waiting a few moments... then frowning a bit, flipping it closed.

"Answering machine. Guess they're not home."

"No answer..." Illumin got up and paced, then turned to face her. "If you went to her home, you must know where it is."

"Well, yeah." God, he was really taking her for a idiot... Why was she bothering about helping ?

Something about Memi caring about him came to mind. Beh.

"No use going there if there's trully no-one home."

"Can you tell me where it is? How did you get there? Damn these wings." Illumin turned his head around as best he could to glare at his wings, as if their being too small yet to support flight was a personal insult. "I am sorry... I am just rather concerned for her. She was resting under my care, you know." He puffed up a bit at that.

Must not... send phone... flying...

"At least you have wings. It's not too far from here - a few streets down. Easy to get there just by walking."

"A few streets down... where? Do you have directions?" Illumin asked, eagerly. "And you may yet have your own... in a sense. My host didn't have wings until we merged and I gained dominance." He flapped his wings experimentally, then scowled. Still no use. "Would it be musical to fly, do you suppose?"

She frowned a bit. "...Im a very visual person, not too good at explaining things just by talking. Think there's a pad of paper and a pencil somewhere ?" She seriously could not find a way to word directions into words without somehow winding up sending him to Timbuctu.

And she would hold off that for a bit maybe - her mind was visibely willing to lynch him at moment and be perfectly able to stand him when... well... he wasn't taking her for an idiot, or at least while she considered he was doing sutch.

"I have no idea, really - I havn't seen alot of gods, but they all had wings. I don't really know if it would make sence for Echo to have wings or not... and I never really thought to ask her, to be truthful."

"Oh... yes, a map, of course." Illumin darted into the kitchen, there were several loud bangs as the god looked through drawers in rapid succession, and then he emerged again brandishing paper and pen. "Here," he said, holding them out to her as he returned. "Echo, that's Music's true name? How... interesting."

She nodded at the last bit, scribbeling down onto the paper.

"At least do me a favor and don't go in there alone and completely freak her parents off ?" not that she could stop him... "I think it might be good if I was there too. It might soften the blow, so to speak."

Illumin frowned at her. "I believe I can handle two mortals... but I will consider it," he said, examining the map carefully. "It is too late to go now in any case, and I would not make any move under the cover of darkness." He spit out the last word as though it was something repulsive.

She rolled her eyes a bit - visibely someone was missing the point - but that quickly turned to something else.

"...Well, now that's reminding me of something." She blinked. "Echo doesn't like sillence. Not as much as you hate darkness, but... she's always humming, or singing, even when she sleeps... Constantly trying to break it."

She wasn't sure why she even mentionned it.

"Ahh... yes. Someday I will be able to break the darkness." Illumin looked pensively out the nearest window, where night covered the streets. "I heard there was a goddess of shadow, but she has not been heard from for some time. A good thing for her."

Zero did not seem to find it all too odd - it made sence in her head, that a god of light would dislike shadows.

"I havn't heard anything about a goddess of shadow, either." She shrugged a bit, getting up to go put the pad and pencil where they belonged, handing Illumin the sheet with the map.

"Fortunately. Harmodius might not like what would result." Illumin made an almost feral grin in Zero's direction, then carefully folded the map. "Thank you. I will... think about it. Perhaps go and look... not do anything, simply look and see..."

She just nodded. Even if he decided to go furter... well, she wasn't his mother. Something else, however, caught her attention.

"...Harmodius ?"

Illumin raised one eyebrow. "Lord Harmodius." He gestured towards the closed doors that lead to the elder god's chambers. "He was the first. Creation."

"Ahhh." She nodded. "I see..."

It did make sence that creation would be the first, after all.

Illumin frowned again at the dark windows, his wings rustling a bit in agitation. "It's too dim down here," he said, abruptly. "No wonder I never come down, not enough... lamps..." He turned towards the stairs. "Thank you for your help, Zero... I will let you know if I decide to move, perhaps. Where can you be found?"

"Well, if im not in there..." She thought a bit. "...Im either outside if it's warm, or in my room if it's not. ...Well, my room..." Kinda an overstatement. "I figure you know where Beryl's room is ? There should be a door nearby, closer than the other ones - just knock and ill hear you if im not asleep..."

"Ah. Beryl, of course." Illumin said with a sigh, and turned away. "Well. Thank you." And with that, he padded up the stairs again, breaking into a run near the top as though he couldn't wait any longer to flee back to his blindingly-lit sanctum.

Zero was much slower about it - setting the guitar on her back and clapsing the phone to her belt, before making her way up to hopefully get some sleep that will not wind up lasting a few days instead of a few hours.

October 26th, 2005

The house was exactly where Zero's map said it was.

Illumin peered at it from outside, the coat he had borrowed rustling in the light breeze. It was twilight now, not exactly his favorite time to be out and about, but he couldn't allow himself to be lethargic and lazy in the sun for something like this. The coat - well, that had been Sosiqui's idea, after she had informed him that normal people would probably react badly to a figure in what basically amounted to an overglorified kilt, and nothing else, appearing at their door.

He didn't like that either, especially since it made his wings feel squished, but he also didn't feel like dealing with complications.

Now... where was her window? That, too, was marked on Zero's map. Illumin crept into the front yard and tiptoed behind bushes, moving as quietly as possible, until he could see a window lit up. Ah...

He thought for a moment, then scrabbled in the dirt for a few small pebbles. The first few missed; but then several found their mark on the window. They were far too small to break it, of course, but they certainly made a noise. "Come ooon," Illumin muttered, shifting from foot to foot inpatiently. "Please, please hear them."

This was all so degrading, really. By rights he should have flown in, in glory, had all the humans within bowing to him in awe, and handing Memi over gratefully. Feh.

Stupid small wings. Stupid slow ascension. Stupid.

Shortly thereafter, Memi's face appeared in the window. Her face soon erupted into pure joy and she struggled to get the window open. "Illumin!" Her voice was conflicted, trying to be soft but be heard; it came out as a stage whisper. "You're out at night! I'm so glad you came," she gushed, grinned from ear to ear.

"I hope you'll let my lady have the dignity of exiting through the front door, rather than shimmying down a tree trunk," Asclepius said, drifting by the window. "It is good to see you, Lord of Light." He floated out of sight.

"Did you want to come in?" she asked, leaning dangerously out the window.

"Memi - are you alright? Did they lock you in? Are you trapped in there?" Illumin quickly darted over to stand below the window. "And what is that?" he added, pointing at Asclepius.

"I'm okay, and I'm not locked in," she said, draping herself over the windowsill. "He's Asclepius. I ordered some sprockets from a shop and I got him and a staff free. He even came with a name. The attitude is my fault, though," Memi said, giggling. "He tried to convince my parents they weren't my parents because they didn't believe Panacea was a god. I don't really get it, but it was really funny, and Zero thought so too."

"I can't pack your things without hands, Memi," Asclepius called over. "If you're planning on leaving soon, you'll need to do it."

Memi turned to the Fandangle and nodded, then turned back to Illumin. "Did you want to come in? It's less dark in here, though not as bright as at home, sorry."

"Ahh..." He eyed the fandangle warily. "Like Glory and Glow, then. Only it talks? How strange." Illumin stretched, wincing as his wings hit cloth, then stood up on his tiptoes. "So... you're not trapped? How come you haven't come home, then?" He looked hurt.

"I'm sorry. Today Dad took me to his lawyer friend to sign some paperwork. He said that if I just disappeared, he and Mom could get in lots of trouble. Like they could be put in jail for killing me. They got in a fight earlier today about it too..." Memi sighed and rested her chin on the windowsill.

"I'm really sorry Illumin, I just couldn't leave without them understanding. For a while, they even thought you and everyone else had been hurting me, and I couldn't let them do that." She paused, and giggled. "I told them off on the news! That was really fun, I think. It's something I had to do... though I'm not very good at it."

"If you want to go home tonight, Memi, pack!" Asclepius rattled himself peevishly.

"Okay okay," she said, turning and making a face at the Fandangle. "Illumin, why don't you come around front, I'll let you in and you can be more comfortable than standing out in the dark, 'kay?" Memi disappeared from the window to make the suggest less of one and more of an order.

"Hurting you? Ridiculous." Illumin snorted, his eyes narrowing. "But... if they believe you, now..."

Well, that was one good thing Panacea had done, at least.

"Ah, yes, in the front. Right." Illumin snapped himself out of the brief irritation that thinking of Medicine always caused, and quickly trotted around to the front door. He stood on the stoop for a few moments before pushing the doorbell, jumping a bit at the sound.

The door opened a second later, though Memi's call of "I've got it!" came from significantly farther away than just behind the door. A woman who looked very tired opened the door and blinked at the god. She was rather like Memi around the nose, and had similar hair, but her parenthood was established more by the way she turned and called, "Memi, one of your friends is here!"

"I know, Mom!" There was the sound of running footsteps from the upstairs hall. "I said I'd get it."

A man with a mug of what smelled like hot chocolate walked by the door, with his eyebrows raised at his wife. He smiled pleasantly at Illumin and raised his mug--obviously decorated by Memi, with crude but vibrant sweeps of color painted across with and "#1 Dad" written in reasonably neat black block letters across one side--then continued on into the kitchen.

The woman looked nonplussed, and looked after the man for some sort of support. She looked back at Illumin, then opened the door wider and stepped aside. "Come in, come in. I'm Barbara Wysor, Memi's mother." She stressed the last word, as if it gave her some sort of authority over him.

Memi bounced to the bottom of the stairs, then paused, suddenly uncertain as to how to act. To hug Illumin like she really wanted to, or give him some measure of dignity in front of her parents? Decisions, decisions. For now, she smiled at him from less than ten feet away, leaning forward and backward from the balls to the heels of her feet.

Illumin raised one eyebrow at Memi's mother. "And I am Illumin, the Piercing Radiance, God of Light," he said, obviously defeating her by having a far more impresive title than she did.

Then he saw Memi, and smiled. "I missed you," he mumbled, almost shyly. "The others did too... I think..." What was this? All of a sudden he was all awkwardness. Ridiculous.

"More of this god business," Barbara said sourly, then shut the door and retreated to the living room, stealing glances at Memi and Illumin as she went.

Memi smiled radiantly up at him, then rushed over and grabbed him by the hand. "Come up to my room, it won't take long."

"Memi," her father called from the kitchen, a jovial tone to his voice, "what have I told you about boys in your room?"

"Daaad, he's not a boy, he's a god," she replied, rolling her eyes and giggling. Memi tugged on Illumin's hand and started for the stairs, flipping every light switch she went past to the on position.

"And that makes all the difference." He paused, and continued, much more subdued, "Say goodbye before you go, please, kiddo."

"God business? Room?" Illumin felt more than a little lost with all this - while it wasn't open resistance, it also wasn't anything he'd been expecting - and allowed Memi to drag him upstairs. "What's going on?"

"Mom's mad because I'm leaving," Memi said, "and Dad says she'll come around, but she was throwing things earlier today and even though you're a god she'd probably be rude to you because she doesn't believe me. And she was even at the hospital with me when someone tried to mess with the gem." She shook her head.

"I don't think she wants to understand, and I can't make her. It's really frustrating. I want them to be happy, but all they see is the bad."

Illumin resisted the urge to say what he was thinking - What? The bad? Like you being eaten up by a goddess? - and instead peered around her room with interest. "It's... different from your room with me. Will you bring some things back?" He poked at her lamp curiously.

"And... what bad, exactly?" he ventured, carefully. "They don't want to lose you, right?"

"I was thinking... just clothes," Memi said, taking a pair of scissors off her desk and kneeling down beside some shopping bags. She started pulling clothes out of one and snipping off tags as she continued. "I don't know if Panacea would even care about any of it, and my parents--especially Mom--would probably want it to have around.

"Madison told me... well, Madison's one of the people I know from school, and she has an older cousin in college, and she says that his parents keep his room exactly how it was like a "shrine" to him. Like memories. Though I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing, since I won't be coming back." Memi folded a shirt on her lap, paused, and then looked up at Illumin.

"I'm.... going to miss everyone. I don't... I don't think I want to do this anymore. I like you and Zero too much. It didn't seem so bad before...." I don't want to die! She sniffled, then quickly started folding the clothes she'd taken from the bag and putting them back in.

"You... you don't want to do what any more? You don't want to come home? You don't want to....?" He couldn't quite say it, though he was hoping, hoping... that she didn't want Medicine anymore.

But what would that matter? If Sosiqui had decided she hadn't wanted him, it would have meant nothing. Not in the long run.

But it wasn't fair. Yet at the same time, it was. Medicine had chosen her. Illumin knew, guiltily, that he would have been livid had someone tried to interfere in his own choice of hosts.

But... It still twisted his insides unpleasantly.

There isn't an easy answer, Sosiqui whispered in the depths of his conciousness. Is there? Damn, she almost seemed to be enjoying his discomfiture.

I do want to go home, I really do. And if it weren't for Panacea, it wouldn't be home. But I want to stay there as me," Memi said, stuffing the last few pants into the bags and standing up. "Because almost everyone there is a friend--except for a green guy who didn't seem to like me that much, but that's okay, not everyone has to be my friend. And... y'know...."

You're out from under your parents thumb and no one tells you want to do, ever? You don't have to do anything you don't want to, and are free to run around and play without reading, or learning, or being anything other than a remarkably friendly brat. You aren't being forced to better yourself because we made a deal.

When Panacea started rebuking her, Memi set the bags on her bed and crossed her arms, resting her right hand over the gem where Panacea's consciousness lay, almost as if covering it up would shut her up, but it wouldn't, and couldn't.

"And... I made a deal. I get well and get to do what I want, and she gets me when she's ready. I thought it was good, since I was going to die anyway, but..." Memi stood up abruptly, dropping her arms and let them swing by her sides. "I'm really going to miss you... well, unless I'm not going to be alive at all, then I guess I won't be doing anything." She smiled at the floor and then scrubbed one cheek with the back of her hand.

Illumin shook his head. "I'll miss you too," he admitted. "If I could... could save you, I would." It was unlike him to be so oddly emotional, but... well. "But I can't," he added, regretfully. "Medicine has claimed you... but otherwise, the disease would have had you, right? No victory either way. Maybe this way is better." He frowned.

He wasn't quite ready to try and make peace with Panacea yet, but at least Memi didn't seem so damn happy about it any longer. Somehow it made him feel that HE had to be responsible and reasonable, when she wasn't. Even if he didn't want to be.

"Thanks, it means a lot," she said. She left the bags on the bed for a moment, walking over to Illumin and hugging him tightly. "And I thought things were so simple. Maybe it is better," Memi said quietly. "Maybe it is," she repeated, sounding only slightly more sure of herself. "I've just gotta think of the good things."

Illumin was startled by the hug, and wasn't quite sure how to deal with it - but after a few seconds he sort of lowered his arms to go around her a bit. Maybe not a whole hug back, but it was more than most would expect from Illumin. "Are you scared? Does she... talk to you often?" he asked. "Maybe, like I used to tell my host... when I have a temple, there will be a statue of her in it, because of her sacrifice. Maybe you can have a statue too," he added, awkwardly.

He didn't WANT a statue, but that was beside the point. As much as he wanted to tell her it was scary and she had to fight - they wouldn't win. And then he would have a goddess probably deeply, deeply angry at him, which was NEVER a good plan.

"She... doesn't say much, but she's usually right. It's annoying," Memi said, stepping back and looking sheepish. "She hasn't really said much about statues or temples or... herself. Panacea must be really bored, since she doesn't seem to do anything at all." Memi rubbed the stone lightly.

"And you said she'd eat my soul? Like I'd be gone? Sosiqui and Drac are still around in some way, so I guess there are two ways, or maybe I just don't understand. But she hasn't said anything about that either. It does scare me, yeah, not knowing..." Memi's face dropped most expression, save for a small downturn of her lips, and she gazed askance at the floor.

She exhaled, almost a sigh, and looked back up at Illumin with smile, though not as purely joyous as her usual. "It's a big question, you know, 'Am I going to be at all after?' Being and not being are just as scary. Maybe. You're such a great god, since I bug you so much with questions and you always answer them. It's..." Memi opened her mouth, tried to continue the thought, but failed; she looked up at Illumin and shrugged her shoulders a little. "Thanks."

Illumin looked peeved at the soul-eating comment - he hadn't really thought she'd remember that. "I don't know what happens, exactly," he admitted, grumpily. "Harmodius probably does, you could ask him about it, maybe. I guess it's like... eating food. You make the choice to put it in and swallow. What happens after is automatic? Maybe?"

He realized, belatedly, that that wasn't a very comforting choice of analogy. Still, he did puff up a bit at the 'great god' bit. "Of course. I am Light, after all. I'm supposed to bring clarity," he said, grandly.

"Harmodius? Okay." She repeated the word in her head a few times in an attempt to commit it to memory.

The eating analogy made sense. Kinda. She took it to its logical conclusion in her head: stuff came out, it just looked nothing like what went in. Memi nodded at the thought; that definitely made sense, since a god was coming out of her.

Panacea took notice of the thought, and chuckled to herself, immersed as she was in the complexities of Memi's nervous system. One of Memi's hands flexed, but Panacea quickly withdrew herself from the motor cortex.

"I think she's laughing at that.." Memi said, feeling slightly confused.

If the gods are going to be compared to that, perhaps we gods are more like an enema, flushing everything unworthy away.... Panacea mused to herself, still chortling internally. Memi's limbic system reacted to the goddess's uncharacteristic mirth, and the girl was suddenly awash with giggles herself.

Memi stopped nearly as soon as she started. "That was weird, since nothing was funny..." She scratched her cheek and muttered, "I don't even know what an enema is."

"Well, you must have been right about... Panacea... laughing," Illumin reassured her. "That would happen to my host, sometimes. Or I would take control and she would wake up in odd places when I couldn't hold on, with no memory of how she got there..." He shook his head. "Is Medicine... a friend to you, Memi?"

"Not... really," Memi admitted. "She's kinda like Mom, when she talks to me, she tells me what to do. It's not all that often, but she's never very nice when she does say anything." Memi wrinkled her nose, but shrugged. "It would be really annoying if did it all the time, but I never get the feeling she's paying any attention to me....except... now?"

Well, if someone were talking about you, wouldn't you want to listen? the goddess commented, metaphysically taking a seat, her back ramrod striaght, in Memi's thought processes. She didn't want the ignorant child slandering her to a fellow deity, honestly. But so far her host was sticking to the truth, if coloring it in her own favor.

Illumin sat down on the edge of the bed, poking at a few of the stuffed animals idly as he did so. "It does make sense that a goddess of Medicine would be mother-like. More sense than a goddess of Wind being so, anyway," he added, grumpily. "Maybe I was odd, talking so much to my host, but I was so glad somebody finally answered. It was cold. And so dark." He shivered involuntarily, his wings rustling.

"Well, she's not any mom I'd want to have," she said, scuffing one heel on the floor.

Panacea let that one slide, watching Illumin through Memi's eyes.

Memi stood, somewhat awkwardly, in front of Illumin. Her last hug hadn't exactly gotten an enthusiastic reception, and she knew just enough about social mores to realize that some people just didn't like touch. But she really did want to hug him.

Talk about having a personal relationship with god.

"But it's not anymore, right? You're here now, and the world's brighter for it," she reminded him. "And you've got friends to keep your heart warm. Me, for one," she said confidently. Right? I'm your friend, right?

]"Friends? Sosiqui is a worshipper. The moths, perhaps the sprockets... Revei is a friend, perhaps, but we haven't spoken in so long...." Illumin trailed off and blinked at Memi when she finished her sentence.

"... don't say that," he mumbled, looking away. "Because it will be harder when you go away." Illumin knew that while he had been, well, 'friends' of a sort with high priests and devoted followers over the years during his first ascension, he had never been horrifically put out when they died. There was always the soul, for one thing.

But for Memi, there wouldn't be even that, probably. His wings trembled a little bit, in an odd show of emotional vulnerability that he would never, ever so much as reveal even a little bit in public. "I don't want to think about that," he admitted. "Medicine has the right to have you. I don't."

"So I can't be your friend now? That's awfully mean, you know." Memi sighed and tilted her head to one side, rather like a curious puppy. "How do you think I'll f--" She cut herself off a little too late, remember that she might not be feeling at all, and it was mean to remind Illumin of that, dig the knife in deeper.

"So, um," she continued hurriedly, frantically going her mind for another topic, and then hung her head a bit. "It's going to end," Memi said quietly, nearly a whisper. "I don't like to think about it either. Just... don't leave me while I'm still here." Reaching out, she touched his shoulder, seeking comfort and hoping to give it with a touch.

]Illumin reached up and grabbed her wrist, then paused for a long moment, debating what to do with it.

Don't be an idiot, Sosiqui hissed at him, from within. Will you make her last days lonely just because you're afraid of being hurt? What kind of light or grace is that?

Illumin sighed, then, and released Memi's wrist only to pull her hand into both of his own. "Yes. You can be my friend, and I will miss you... but you're not gone yet, right? I won't leave you if you don't leave me." He smiled awkwardly at her and squeezed her hand gingerly.

Gooood boy. Sosiqui was smug, satisfied.

Memi looked confused as he held her wrist, and she suddenly felt that maybe she'd gone too far, it was silly to think that she could be friends with a god at all, and--

"For as long as I can," Memi said solemnly, then sniffed and pulled away, clasping her hands behind her back. She smiled at him. "Well, I'm pretty much all packed, and it must be really uncomfortable not being home when it's so dark out. I'll just--oh yeah!" She leaned over a nightstand, unplugging a small lamp no more than two of her handspans tall, as she continued to talk. "I'll just say goodbye to my parents, and we can hurry back and turn on all the lights in your temple!"

Asclepius had been respectfully hanging back throughout the conversation. He always felt confused around the girl, honestly. His Bond was somewhere inside her, and She barely communicated with him. He loved the goddess, but he hardly knew Her.

Panacea, for her part, barely knew what to make of this Illumin her host was so fond of. First Light persuaded her to take the gem before she had run out of patience. Then she had grown so attached to him--a mortal and a god!--that she wanted to void the bargain they had struck. Then it seemed like he would make her rebirth that much easier, but... it had all turned around. Odd, that. But if he had crushed the host, she would never have respected him, and would have assured that tales of his 'fidelity' would be sung to the ages.

As it stood, she reserved judgement.

]Illumin grinned a bit more easily at her then. "Are you sure your eyes can handle all the lights? Perhaps you should have some sunglasses... it's a pity I can't change your eyes as I did my host's, before we merged. There is so much beauty deep in the heart of the sun, or in the center of a glowing bulb..."

He got up, then, and impulsively stuffed a few stuffed animals into a wad of bedlinens. "Here," he said, handing the bundle to her. "You need some nice things in that room. Some things that are yours, not mine or borrowed."

"If all the lights are turned on I can close my eyes and only be mostly blinded," she joked, putting the lamp into one of the shopping bags. Two bags of clothes, a bedsheet of stuffed animals, an Asclepius, and one God of Light. It didn't seem like she was forgetting anything...

Asclepius floated closer, and Memi hooked one of the shopping bags over his gear teeth. The Fandangle overbalanced, and listed to one side, jangling quietly, as he attempted to correct his position. "Ready to go home?" she asked the room at large, smiling. It felt good to finally go back home.

]"Home... huh. I suppose it is home, now." Illumin peered around for any more interesting objects or lamps that could possibly be liberated; finding none, he shrugged awkwardly and motioned for her to go on ahead.

Really, he was so confused. He needed time to think about this, preferably time alone to talk out loud and puzzle things out, maybe in the bathtub. But for now, for her, he would be Light. That was his purpose, after all. People don't tend to mention in holy writ the internal confusion of the deities.

Memi preceeded him through the door, leaving the lights on behind them. Sure, it wasn't energy efficient or whatever, but that didn't matter for now. Down the hall and the stairs she was quiet, trying to work out in her head how this last conversation would go--not that it had helped the last time. Sure, it didn't have to be the last, but Memi had the feeling that it would be. What to say, how to reassure them...

Maybe just saying goodbye was best.

At the foot of the stairs, her father was waiting, munching on a carrot stick with much less gusto than he normally ate cookies. It was fortunate that he wasn't drinking anything, as Memi dropped the bags carelessly--she was short, it wasn't a long drop--where she stood and practically leapt into her fathers arms, startling him mid-bite.

"I'll be right back," she said, turning to Illumin and offering him an apologetic smile. This would be a private moment between her and her parents.

----

Asclepius floated in Illumin's vicinity, not too close and not too far away, not intruding and not ignoring. That, and he had a very uncomfortable bag hooked on him, and it was tangling in his rings! He sighed inwardly.

----

The voices in the other room were hushed. What wasn't hushed were the three loud noseblowings from two people with large lung capacities. It wasn't very long
she came back into the foyer, flanked by her parents.

Barbara refused to look at Illumin, though it was evident she'd cried from her red eyes and the tissue clutched like a security blanket in one hand. Frank knelt down and gave his daughter one last hug and tucked a handkerchief in one of her pockets, then stepped back and put his arm around his wife's waist.

Memi picked up the bags on the ground, and looked between Illumin, Asclepius, and her parents. "Ready?"

Illumin waited tensely in the hall, hoping that nothing too bad would result - surely they would let her go, right? He glanced over at the odd overgrown gear from time to time, but remained silent.

Finally, Memi emerged again, this time with her parents. Illumin was genuinely surprised to see the emotion on their faces, and he moved to incline his head towards them. "I am sorry. You do believe," he said, quietly. "She will be protected and cared for and bathed in light for the rest of her days. I promise you that."

Then he turned to Memi. "Are you?"

Her father nodded, apparently unsure of what to say, while her mother pensively wet her lips, but managed to choke out, "Thank you."

"Yes," Memi replied, almost immediately. She shifted the bags around to a comfortable equilibrium while Frank quickly opened the door and held it.

"Bye kiddo," he said with a smile, messing with her hair as she went through the door, bags in hand. She didn't even make a face at him.

"See y-- Goodbye, Memi," her mother corrected herself, trying to smile but failing as miserably as she felt.

"Come on," Illumin said, quietly, not wanting a scene to break out - it seemed as though it could go either way at this point. "Let's go back to the shop... to the house." Not home, not here - it might be enough for the edge of desperate tears to break for her parents.

How strangely caring and discerning of you, Sosiqui said, sardonically. He rolled his eyes and ignored her, shrugging the coat over his wings again and wincing at the press of fabric. After nodding to her parents again, Illumin followed her out. He made no motion to close the door, though - that would be their job. Not his.

Memi's parents watched from the lit doorway, hugging each other, until Memi and Illumin were swallowed by the darkness, and for a long time after.

Memi stole glances over her shoulder at the silhouettes until they left the nieghborhood. "I didn't cry," Memi told Illumin as they walked. She sniffed, and would have rubbed her nose if her hands weren't full. "But I really wanted to."

"You can cry all you want later. If you want," Illumin offered, awkwardly. "The room is still just like you left it." Damn it, he wasn't used to this emotional turmoil business.

Oh, you're doing fine. Just don't desecrate our diary with terrible poetry and it'll be a-okay. Sosiqui chimed in. Illumin swatted her away, mentally, grumbling under his breath.

"Zero will want to see you too, I think," Illumin said, after a few minutes of silent walking. "We're almost there."

"Thanks," Memi said. "It's funny, we'd been living so close to that place all my life, and I never realized there was a shop there. And I bet none of my neighbors really realizes there are a whole bunch of gods, actual gods, living less than a mile away. I wonder what else is so close that I can't see it," she mused.

It would be nice to see Zero again, Memi thought, brightening. And to sleep in her own bed. It was funny how quickly "home" had changed. Well, not really funny. But odd. She was almost home. "Yeah, almost home," she said as they turned a corner, and she could see the familiar shape of the roof and the garden past the haze of the streetlights.

Illumin moved in front of her and pushed the door open as they reached the shop, since his hands were somewhat more free than hers. "Many things are hard to see. You can't see the colors in the heart of the sun without the right kind of sight, either. Otherwise all you see is noise. Don't try that, by the way," he added, hurriedly - the last thing he needed was for Medicine to get angry at him if Memi fried her eyes, even if the goddess could presumably heal it anyway. He padded quietly across the silent shopfront, shedding the coat at the first available opportunity and letting it lie where it fell, wings fanning in appreciation of the new room to move.

"You've gotta look at something in the right way, huh?" Memi said with a grin. "I guess that's true of a whole lot of things." She pondered picking up the coat as she walked by, but decided against trying to juggle everything in her hands.

Memi trailed behind Illumin, shifting the bags occasionally, with Asclepius following silently (and somewhat resentfully) behind her. "Thanks again for coming," she said. Especially at night. "It really means a lot to me."

Illumin carefully navigated up the twisty stairs and came to a stop in front of his door, the sigil of the rising sun-in-glory against the frosted glass, slightly glowing from the constant (if dimmed, currently) light within. "And here we are," he said, with some relief. He wanted nothing more than to flop down on the dais with all the lights on, knowing that - for now - everything was as, and where, it should be.

The door opened for him, with a simple finger-flick - there were some advantages to being a god in one's own home, after all - and he quickly moved inside and over to Memi's door, where he put down what he'd been carrying. Glory and Glow immediately zoomed around him, then flitted around Memi before pausing and making odd noises at the large gear accompanying her.

"Welcome home," Illumin grinned, leaning over to flick on the smal bank of lightswitches on the wall, flooding the room with vibrant light.

Asclepius beeped and made modem sounds at the two sprockets, in an authoritative fashion. Memi had no idea what precisely he was saying, if anything at all. Maybe an introduction, maybe gossip. Who knew?

"Glad to be home," Memi replied, quickly dropping all of what she was carrying just inside the door to her room. From inside one of the bags, she took the lamp that she'd brought from home and set it outside "her" door. As soon as it was out of the bag, it started to glow, though not as brightly as if it had been plugged in. Odd things happened around gods, but this was a fun one.



She plugged it in, and it started to glow more brightly than she'd ever remembered it. "I thought," she said, turning back toward Illumin, "that I'd give this one to you." To remember me by, but he'd said he didn't want to talk about that, so she left it unsaid. For now.

November 4th, 2005

November 17th, 2005 - The Battle for Creation (Part One)
The Tale Begins, Page 528

November 17th, 2005 - The Battle for Creation (Part Three)

November 19th, 2005 - A Cordial Reconciliation

Memi woke up sore. After checking herself for an additional ten inches of height, she rolled herself out of bed and took a deep breath; instantly, she was reminded of her ribs, and then precisely why she was hurt. With a sigh and a towel, she quietly walked over to Illumin's bath.

Gently, Panacea whispered. It would be rude to get blood in here.

Memi was not in the mood to argue. She unmatted her hair, which had not gotten any better since the previous night, and then rinsed it free of the dried blood. Leaving the scab alone, Memi parted and combed her hair. Bath... Oh, what a joy that would be, but... maybe after Illumin had his turn. He probably wouldn't appreciate being kept waiting. But if he wasn't awake... Memi clung to the edge of the partitioning wall and peered at the dais, wondering if she wanted there to be motion or not...

Illumin was, in fact, sitting up, though he wasn't facing Memi at the time. Instead, he was looking rather angrily at his window. "Where is my sun?" he groused at it. "I told you to track the sun!"

The window did nothing, of course, but it was kind of odd. As long as it was daylight outside, somehow Illumin's windows always caught full sun, regardless of what time of day it was. However, right now the window was perfectly normal.

"Illumin? Something wrong?" Memi trotted out into the main chamber, rumpling her shirt as she hugged it tightly around herself. Without the constant, bright sunlight, it seemed somewhat chilly.

She took a breath, and winced again. Definitely have to work on the whole rib situation.

Illumin turned around, startled, then smiled wryly at Memi. "Good morning, Memi. No, not anything very important, anyway." He gestured irritably at the windows. "They aren't working. I wonder if it's a side-effect of what happened to Harmodius - he did give me my rooms, after all. And I so wanted to sunbathe." He gave her a petulant look. Even though he had all the lanterns on, sunlight was always nicer. "How are you? Panacea said you were alright..."

"I'm okay, I guess. Hurts to breathe, hands are all crampy..." She fluffed her hair self-consciously, and looked up at Illumin. "How's your wing feel?" Awwwwkward. Memi fidgeted and sighed. And just when she'd found something useful for Harmodius...

"It's..." Illumin flapped his wings experimentally, and cringed a bit. "Sore, but far better than last night. Lucius' little stunt threw us both into the walls." He paused. "Medicine was quite helpful, to say the least. You should be... well, proud, I guess." He gave her an ironic smile. "Has she ministered to you as well? I imagine she will have you busy today tending to the others. Don't worry about me, though - with rest and light I shall heal. Harmodius needs the most aid... and Wind and the Hunt, perhaps." Illumin was envious for a moment - they'd done so much. But then again, he HAD blinded Lucius temporarily, and it had been enough for the Hunt to make his move. Hah.

"I.. don't really know. I don't remember much of last night, like I wasn't even there at all," Memi said quietly. "What did I do to be proud of. I mean, you're all gods, what could I have done?" There was an uncharacteristic hint of bitterness there, but it was brushed away with her next sentence, though it was no more upbeat. "Did you want me to get her? If you're in pain, she could do something."

"No, it's alright... I am fine." Ilumin shook his head. "And... you held the door, didn't you? Lucius didn't get near it. In any case, I was barely useful myself. Most of what I did involved scraping myself up on the fireplace for no real reason." He scowled, self-depreciatingly. "Your worth isn't measured in how much you did. The older ones can do more than us. It's a fact, not a fault."

"But maybe I could have done something." That probably would have involved her getting killed. But she would have done something.

Self recrimination does not become you.

Leave me alone.

It is far too late for that.

"So anyway, I'm guessing from the way that you look and I feel that Panacea will be in high demand today," she said with false brightness. "Everyone else is probably almost dead."

"You have done something," Illumin said, trying to be reassuring. "Because you're here, Medicine is also here. Everyone should be grateful for that. Your sacrifice has helped Lord Harmodius, of that I am certain." He stretched, cringing a bit at sore muscules, but that too would ease given time. "I think you will be needed again, yes..." He hesitated. "Did you want a bath? Your hair... ah, well, you should take some time for yourself, too... I don't think anyone is in danger of dying now."

"If you don't want to go first," Memi said, glancing between him and the floor. "I wanted to check to make sure before I did." More fidgeting, and a wince when she took a particularly deep breath.

Panacea rolled her metaphysical eyes.

"Oh, no, go ahead." Illumin waved one bandaged hand vaguely in the direction of the bathroom. "I'm not sure I should get these wrappings wet, anyway - and I want a sun-bath, not a water-bath." He turned to glare at the windows again, which were still obstinately normal. "Take care of yourself, then..." He hesitated, turning back to look at her. "And - I had wanted to speak with Medicine, when you... and she... have time. But it is not urgent."

Memi nodded to him, and walked back to the bath, where her towel had been left in a small pile on the floor. A bath did sound wonderful.

...

Thirty minutes of splashing ensued, then approximately ten minutes of silence. She emerged from the bath with the towel wrapped around her midsection, and clothes folded neatly and held against her chest. "I apologize, Light, she fell asleep soaking. Did you wish to talk after any cleaning you wish to do, later, or now?"

"Did you have a n-oh." Illumin nodded to Panacea as he realized she, not Memi, was in control. "Now is fine, if you would like. I hardly wish to interrupt your ministrations to the others, if you are more concerned about that." He unconciously slipped into 'formal' mode.

"All right then," Panacea said, nodding to him on her way to Memi's room. "And don't worry about them. Harmodius is in no immediate danger, or I would not have accompanied you up here, and the rest of them are secondary to Him. I will be out after I have found clothing, unless you'd rather have this conversation immediately." She paused in front of the door, and turned to him, eyebrows raised with bemused question.

"Oh. Yes, of course. Feel free to use any of Sosiqui's things, I certainly won't be wearing them." Illumin got a bit flustered as he realized she was wearing only a towel.

"My thanks, Light," Panacea said, and disappeared into the room; the door clicked shut behind her.

The four opened four minutes later, and Panacea came out properly attired in a long skirt and sweater in a shadowy sapphire blue. One hand was at her chest as she stretched, but her reaction to the pain was controlled. She'd really have to find some time and energy to fix that. "Good morning, Light. I glean that you are not as sunny as you would like to be?" She took her time strolling across the room, rolling her shoulders and shifting the sweater until she was comfortable.

"No... but it's not a big problem," Illumin muttered, though he did give the windows one last glare before turning to sit properly on the edge of his bed. "I... if you recall those questions you asked me the first time we talked... I am willing to answer them now." He inclined his head towards her. "I was unreasonably angry at you for foolish reasons... but after yesterday... the picture I had allowed myself to paint in my anger is inaccurate..." He ran out of steam.

"No one likes to have their innermost thoughts pried into by a stranger, though I had become more familiar with you than you with me. After all, you cannot peer into the mind of host and god." Panacea ascended the dais and immediately sat a respectful distance away; she had changed this body, not expecting that Memi would have been quite that tall, and gazing down from 'on high' upon her elders was less than polite.

This was stupid. He'd been able to talk to Panacea perfectly well last night, when he'd been too tired to think and agonize over every word - perhapse it was time to let go of that inhibition again. "I greatly care for your host, Memi," he said, frankly. "Were there a way to save her without injuring you, I would do so. But there is not, so I have been looking on your coming with some dread, especially after what you said to me." He gave her a pointed look, then sighed. "I will still miss her very much," he admitted. "But at least now I know that the Medicine I had imagined in my anger - unfeeling, cold, wholly clinical - is not what will be coming...?" He ended it on a question, raising one eyebrow at her inquiringly.

How odd. While he was being perfectly frank with her, he felt much more on equal footing than he had before, in that previous ill-fated conversation, when he had been trying to be lofty and still felt completely bested by her.

Panacea gave him a long look, and sighed. "If a god's worshippers abandon her, is she a bad god?" she asked. "No, don't worry, that was rhetorical, and it would have been unfair to expect you to answer that anyway."

She exhaled a quiet laugh, and ended up holding her side with a pained grin. This next admission was going to be an even more personal pain. "The point of that is that I hardly know who I am. I was, and still am, perhaps, a young god. Others had been nestled at Gaia's bosom for aeons, and I came only after the mortals discovered that some leaves can lessen pain." What does it matter, that some are older than I am? "And then, I am only of account and service in times of anguish. Do you not wish to fill the shadows with your own brilliance?"

Illumin spread his bandaged hands. "We were all, except I assume Lord Harmodius, trapped in gems - it is fair to say that all of us were abandoned in some way. I recall very little of what once was," Illumin replied. "Naturally - driving away shadow and illuminating truth is part of who I am. That much I am sure of, even if I don't remember exactly what happened in detail - that I am myself, and always have been. That part has never been dependent on worship, only the power that lets me reveal who I am to others."

"At least you know. Sometimes I don't know if I am as you first knew me, or who I was last night, or who I am now. But ... well..." Panacea shrugged and smiled at Illumin. "The entire point of that less than illuminating set of statements is that I can't promise who will be coming, who I will be. Truth be told, I feel a bit lost in this body," she said, looking at the hands that were not her own. "But I can't be Medicine until I reclaim my Self, this I am certain of. And I will do that," her voice became flinty, "one way or another. After all," she said, tone brightening, "why would one worship a god that doesn't understand what they are?"

"Is that why you taunted me so, before?" Illumin asked, bluntly, not turning away from her - but not looking at her confrontationally either. "Trying on many faces to see which one is really Panacea? Or... did you really want me to save..." His voice trailed off, though he did not break eye contact.

Shadows were decieving.

"I wanted to see if you cared that much. The thoughts of a god versus the life of a child. And I wanted to know. I could only see you through her eyes, and she misses so much she might as well be blind," Panacea said, frankly. "I did not, and really do not, care for her. If I saw that she mattered to someone... that is a rare gift to god and mortal. A Balm to your heart."

"I did. Do." Illumin shook his head. "Foolish, yes, but as Lucius has so amply demonstrated, humans are not the only fools in this world." There was no point in pressing for more, Illumin felt - he could see several ways that further inquiry could go, and most of them were unplesant. "I ask not that you care for her as I do - that is not something that can be forced. Only that... you let me aid her, when it is time. And then - well, after this I do not feel so inclined to order you out of my chambers," he said, with an ironic smile. "Perhaps not friendship, but a truce? I am not sure, with the lack of response my room has shown-" another glare at the windows- "that Harmodius will be able to create chambers for you for some time, Medicine."

I wish that you had told me sooner... "I had thought of that, yes, but I must admit the thought of staying in your storage closet is less appealing to me than to her," Panacea said, with a quirked smile. For now, she avoided mentioning the dais. A likely unwelcome, if momentarily amusing, comment. "We shall have to see what can be done, though I appreciate your continued hospitality. A truce it shall be, then."

"I would enlarge the room for you if I could - but then there would be no point for you to remain there. Still, if Harmodius is not well by that time, the boxes within can be moved until he can exert his power once more," Illumin said. "And - very well, a truce it is then. I will admit it is... much more comforting to be... what was it, the word you were fond of last time? Ah, yes. Cordial."

"That particular conversation had crossed my mind when Harmodius told me I was... what was it... "sweet as cordial" I believe. Something like it." She cast her eyes down on the ground. "If he was aware of that, I'd say he has a fine way with the verbal stiletto."

Illumin laughed. "Perhaps he did know. If any would have that knowledge, it would be him." He sobered, though. "He will heal in time, under your care and our watchfulness?"

"If I have anything to do with it. And I do," Panacea smiled warmly at Illumin. "He told Memi once that our well-wishes speed his recovery. They may well do so again." Just don't give me another ball of energy and tell me to shove it in him. "It will just take time, less when I have come ever so slightly more into my power." And that time could be now, if I chose. A strain in straining times.

"I am glad to hear it. I do not think I could ever forgive if he... well. I am not sure if I can forgive anyway." Illumin's eyes lit with anger. "Such treachery, approaching under cover of friendship and shadow... it is not to be tolerated. But it is not my job to judge Lucius and Khiviance, as much as I might want to." He shook his head firmly, as if trying to remind himself of that.

"Very well, lady Medicine. If I can assist you in shining Light on any aspect for you - physical or within - let me know. I owe you a debt for your care, and for Memi's sake."

"For my care, at least," Panacea said with a smile. Those who cannot forgive do not have friends or allies long. "And I may accept that most gracious offer. If I cannot find my Self, I at least have a Light to show me the first steps on the path."

She rose gracefully, and began to lean down. There was a pause of less than half a second before Panacea took a step back and turned whatever it was going to be--a whispered secret? a kiss?--into a fluid bow; this was ultimately ruined by a sharp twinge in her ribs. As she straightened, she offered him a wry smile. "I think I might keep this," she said, a hand on her side. "It reminds me to be more temperate in my actions and moods."

The Lady and the Banshee

Pana quietly closed the door to Illumin's room behind her, and looked at the pendant she held in her hand. The light here made the colors in the gem all the more brilliant, but even with all the light it was still heavy with responsibility.

She kicked herself mentally for that one.

She absently wound the leather cord around her wrist. "And I still have to.... Lucius." The light bulb flared in her head. If someone was the embodiment of the whole of the Universe, surely they knew how to keep track of things.

Illumin wasn't present at the moment, but the window was open and a chill breeze rustled the lanterns and linens on the dais. It seemed Light was outside, perhaps seeking a place to bask with more natural light than his still 'broken' room.

Still, that didn't mean the room was empty. The door to the bathroom opened and Eibilin peeked out, her perpetually messy hair swaying limply around her face. "Lord Illumin...? Oh, beg your pardon, milady." The Aoide bowed, inasmuch as something without legs could do so. "I'll be out of your way..."

Cold, firm, strict, stern... That was what Lord Illumin had said about the younger goddess, but despite that, Eibhilin had to peer at Panacea for herself.

"Whatever for?" Panacea said, tilting her head to one side. "I don't want you cowering out of sight, afraid to disturb me. I'm not an ogre. Nor," she added with a gentle smile, "is my name Milady. Call me Pana, if you would." The goddess pushed herself off the door and took a few steps toward the bathroom, hands clasped behind her back. "I don't think I've caught your name."

"... Milady Pana, then," Eibhilin amended, bowing low again. "And I am Eibhilin, one servant among..... well, it used to be among many of the Aoidei. Now it seems to be among few."

She hesitated, unsure about showing too much familiarity to another goddess, but she hadn't had a chance to really speak to any of the reborn besides Light. Her Lord Illumin seemed, paradoxically, to be holding Medicine close and pushing her away at the same time... "I will gladly assist you if I can, as is my duty to all those in this place," she said, finally - though she kept looking at Panacea with curiosity. "Is there anything I can do for you?"

"For starters, you can stop calling me milady. Respect is wonderful, but it's a bit disconcerting at this point, I must admit. How about," Pana said, chuckling, "we start as acquaintances, perhaps become friends, then work on acclimating me to adoration."

Frankly, with the familiarity of friendship, adoration wouldn't be a possibility. So far, Panacea didn't see the point in adoration from someone she was living with. "How is Ill-- Light?"

There was such a thing as presuming familiarity, and with Illumin, it could be hurtful. She rubbed at her forehead with the back of the hand that held the black opal pendant. A kiss for a kiss. I deserved that, she thought with a rueful smile.

"Friends?" Eibhilin's long ears perked, then drooped a bit. "Familiarity with other deities can be dangerous for us if they take offense at it, mila... ah, Pana," she said, fixing the slip quickly. "But, if you wish it..." She smiled, cautiously.

"I can understand that. It's dangerous for us as well." Though Harmodius didn't seem to mind much. She chuckled and sat down at the edge of the carpeted and cushioned conversational area. "And I do. How is he?" Pana sighed and looked out the window, past the dais where Illumin slept.

"Lord Illumin?" Ebhilin hesitated, not wanting to be indiscreet. "He fares well enough," she said, finally, though her tail lashed back and forth and betrayed her discomfort. "Better since I came, I think," she added, with just a hint of pride. "There was so much dust atop the rafters, a small child could have drowned in it... er... well, he is the god of Light, not of housekeeping," she added, giggling. Her laugh was gravelly, harsh, but still genuine. "He is, I think, out looking for sun now. He does so complain now, with the days growing shorter and the nights longer. Like a restless cat-" she stopped, suddenly, and flushed - inasmuch as she could. "I say too much," she mumbled.

Panacea giggled girlishly at the description of the sea of dust. "Well, that's the trouble with high ceilings. I'm very glad you're here for him, though if he starts complaining too much, you might suggest that he head into town to enjoy the Christmas lights. I went with Echo yesterday, and I'd swear there are places brighter than this out there."

And mistletoe.

She flushed, then laughed at herself. "I'd suggest it myself, but I have to leave soon."

"Have you, ah, been staying here long?" Eibhilin ventured. The Aoide seemed to have an odd combination of eagerness and being withdrawn at the same time. "Lord Illumin... speaks of you, sometimes. And of another name I don't recognize." She clicked her claws together, absently. "Have you any servants? I can gladly help if you like - I am a bound servant to any under my Lord's wings, as it were. I have seen you coming and going but...?" She let the question trail off, a bit awkwardly.

"It's very sweet of you to offer, but no thank you. I do have a servant, but I'd rather he was a friend. It's too lonely, here..." She smiled at Eibh. "Memi, hmm? Illumin took me in my first night here. It's been... months? Something like that. I wonder what he says about me. Unless he's got a girlfriend. Not Beryl, surely..."

What an amusing thought...

"Memi, yes, that was it. Gods, hosts, gems, ah - too confusing." Eibhilin dismissed it with an energetic flick of her tail that snapped right through the fragile paper cover of a lantern. "Oh no... that's another one," she sighed, taking it down with a look of shame on her face. "I tried to dust one this morning and ended up impaling it," she admitted, clicking her claws again.

"And no... no dallying for him... not lately. He keeps talking about waiting until the 'young ones have merged' so he 'won't do that to another deity again'....?" She tilted her head curiously at Panacea, then quickly busied herself in cleaning up the broken lantern, so as not to appear so desperte for information.

"You'll get the hang of it. I used to creep through here too, too entirely afraid of breaking something. Paper is one of the most unforgiving substances known to man or god," she said, chuckling.

She watched the banshee for a short while, drawing her knees up to her chest. That's right!--her feet were blue. Pana blinked at herself for a moment. "Do you know how we are reborn? The gem," she tapped her elbow, just below where Memi had set the gem so long ago, "contains our soul, and we use the soul of the host to fuel ourselves to greater power. A soul for a soul. Soon, the host is no more than a ghostly voice in our head, or gone completely."

Pana occupied herself with looking at Harmodius's pendant. "Memi was my host, an eleven year old girl. So much life to live... and I loved--she loved him so much. Beyond shallow adoration."

Mistletoe.

Dammit! What is it with me and kissing right now?

Eibhilin caught the hesitation and turned to Panacea with a look of surprising shrewdness. "Her, or you, or both? He... speaks of you," she added, then. Perhaps she was being indiscreet, but she was under his care, was she not? And she could easily come about such knowledge simply by entering the room. What did it matter? "He told me, once, that he was sorry that he had so much trouble in seeing you for who you were, instead of for who he lost..." Eibhilin ducked her head quickly, her messy hair swaying. "He has a strange honor. I... am not sure if he would tell you that, but." She drew herself up, as though daring Panacea to accuse her of indescretion. "I can make my own judgements as well, you know."

Just as quickly, she deflated and quickly shuffled the broken lanterns around, almost nervously. "I am sorry, sorry. I was quiet for a long, long time, like all the gods, I guess. It is hard to remember to be one thing, or another thing, or which thing Eibhilin should be. Friend? Servant? Mother? What?" She shrugged, and the movement rippled all the way to the tip of her tail.

"I get... confused. I'll have to tell him eventually, though. But there's no shame in him trying to see beyond who I was. Am. Something. I was an unfeeling b***h, after all." She smiled and shrugged. "But he is delightfully honest, something rare and precious.

"As are you," Pana said, looking gently at the spirit. "Don't set yourself into a single role. Being too static will make you unhappy. And there I go with the advice again," she said lightly, her expression deepening to a frown. "Hrmph. At least, I was." Though 'mother' was an interesting choice.

"I think we're all confused," Eibhilin said, soothingly. "Ah... would you like something? Tea, water... no wine, but I could get some... whatever you like?" She tilted her head at Panacea, something in her posture reminiscent of a wagging, hopeful puppy waiting to be told to fetch.

"Ice water would be lovely, thank you," Pana said. She glanced out the window again. "No idea when he'll be back, hmm?" It was a poor way to treat her, it wasn't that she didn't enjoy her company...

Nervous energy.

"When it gets dark, I would suspect... he hates being outside in the dark." Eibhilin rolled her eyes, then smiled and drifted over to the bathroom. "Once the room is working again, Lord Illumin will fashion a proper place for me, but for now I store my things in here... one moment."

Clinks and clanks came from within, then a bit of splashing - but then the Aoide emerged with a glass of water that she offered, shyly, to Panacea.

"You in the bathroom and I in the storage closet, but at least we've got a place," Panacea said with some amusement, accepting the glass and half draining it in a gulp.

"That's actually part of why I'm leaving, though architecture isn't my forte. I..." It was a hard admission. "I can't help Harmodius anymore, and I have to find another way."

"Harmodius? Oh, yes... the Twin Crown." Eibhilin's brow furrowed, as though she weren't quite aware of how she'd come by that name. "How odd... but you're leaving? That's terrible! Just as we were getting to know each other." She drooped.

"The Twin Crown, yes. I'll be back--I can't really leave until I talk to Universe anyway. I just can't wait too long, or I'll never go, so I keep telling myself I'm leaving." I can't just let Him melt! ... though melt is a bit of an exaggeration. She finished the glass of water, then rested her arm across her knees, gripping the glass around the rim with her fingertips.

"Sometimes we've got to do things we don't want to."

"Like scrub the toilet, right." Eibhilin wrinkled her nose in distaste, then smiled sheepishly. "I should... I should get food ready and fix these lanterns... can I make something for you, too? Or...?"

"Thank you, but I think I'm going to take a nap. If there's anything I can help you with, let me know," Pana said, rising. "But for now.... goodnight."

She went into "her" room and shut the door quietly. Plopping down on the side of the bed, she let the pendant dangle from her wrist, and watched it twist and turn. "Quest and quarrel, huh?" She felt like she needed to put it somewhere, but looping it around her own neck felt strangely sacreligious.

Pana laid down on her side, curled up with her wings sprawled across the bed and hanging in midair. It wasn't long before she was asleep, the pendant resting under one protective hand.