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DearestDoormat rolled 2 20-sided dice:
10, 16
Total: 26 (2-40)
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 Posted: Wed Dec 28, 2011 4:12 am
12/28 roll 2
Name of the enemy you are fighting: Zero Omega
AC of the enemy you are fighting: 16
If your attack was successful: No
Enemies HP before your attack: 41
Enemies HP after your attack: 41
---
My AC: 10
My DC: 16
---- The two continued to cross blades, with the heavy two handed sword up against the tiny machete. But Zero fought with the energy of a man on the edge, and DD certainly believed it to be true; the edge of insanity that is.
Sighing, she reached over and picked up a candy cane from the pile Virziel was attacking whole-heartedly, and began absently chewing upon the end as she watched the fight.
It was going back and forth for now. Zero had gotten up again and swung his rusty blade wildly, leaving Aurelius to act defensively, unable to get off the attack he'd intended.
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DearestDoormat rolled 2 20-sided dice:
8, 1
Total: 9 (2-40)
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Posted: Thu Dec 29, 2011 4:02 am
12/29 roll 1
Name of the enemy you are fighting: Zero Omega
AC of the enemy you are fighting: 16
If your attack was successful: No
Enemies HP before your attack: 41
Enemies HP after your attack: 41
---
My AC: 8
My DC: 1
---- Aurelius and Zero Omega continued to exchange blows, one calm and well-practiced in the art of swordplay, the other wild with his manic obsession. However, that almost worked in Zero's favor. His unprofessional swings were confusing and hard to predict for the veteran angel. He often found himself scrambling to avoid a particularly crazy swing or strike, nearly tripping over himself at times with the unexpected need for haste.
"You know, you can offer assistance at any moment," he spoke up irritably, sparing the two observers a glance and nearly losing his head in the process.
"I've been telling him that, but he's pretty intent on getting fat."
"What did you say?!" Virziel shouted, spraying crumbs all over the girl, who squealed in disgust.
"This is serious!" Aurelius roared.
"Stop eating my sweets!" Zero butted in, turning toward Virziel. "Those are for burning! I don't trust you to touch them!"
"He won't do anything. He's too busy stuffing his face."
Zero's eyes widened, and he quickly ducked under a broad swing from Aurelius and dodged around him. "Don't touch that!" he shrieked, seeing Virziel reaching for a pie.
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DearestDoormat rolled 2 20-sided dice:
19, 4
Total: 23 (2-40)
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Posted: Thu Dec 29, 2011 4:09 am
12/29 roll 2
Name of the enemy you are fighting: Zero Omega
AC of the enemy you are fighting: 16
If your attack was successful: Yes
Enemies HP before your attack: 41
Enemies HP after your attack: 37
---
My AC: 19
My DC: 4
---- Virziel took the cherry pie in hand, giving it a tentative sniff. It didn't seem quite as sugary as the other options at hand. He was about to toss it aside, when Zero suddenly leaped toward him to intervene. "Don't touch that PIE!"
However, it was his mistake. In his urgent haste, he didn't pay attention to the fact that Virziel did not intend to pie him. Because of his previous pie trauma, he assumed that would be the course of action. But in lunging in to stop it, he sealed his own fate. The discarded pie tumbled through the air as if in slow motion, as two heads looked on and one lowered into another tin of cookies. Zero's eyes widened in alarm as he felt the cool insides of the pie spatter over his face, coating him in a crumbly, gooey mess of red that oozed down his features like chunky blood. "GYAAAAHH!" he screamed, staggering back as he clutched at his face. "The pie... The pie! IT'S IN MY EYES!"
"...nice going, idiot."
"...nice going, idiot."
DD and Aurelius spoke in union over Zero's panicked shrieks, as Virziel looked up, blinking dumbly. "Wait, what just happened?"
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DearestDoormat rolled 2 20-sided dice:
3, 8
Total: 11 (2-40)
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Posted: Fri Dec 30, 2011 1:57 am
12/30 roll 1
Name of the enemy you are fighting: Zero Omega
AC of the enemy you are fighting: 16
If your attack was successful: No
Enemies HP before your attack: 37
Enemies HP after your attack: 37
---
My AC: 3
My DC: 8
---- Zero Omega was losing himself to a flurry of rage. He wiped the pie out of his eyes with vigorous motions, almost slicing into his own head as he failed to drop the machete safely beforehand. He kept it tightly in his grasp, at least for a little while longer. His eyes opened, and he stared around before his gaze focused upon Virziel. Aurelius reached in and grabbed DD's arm, snatching her out of harm's way just as the machete went whirling through the air. It struck the ground between Virziel's legs.
"WHOA. WHAT THE HELL?!" he bellowed.
Before he had time to scramble back more than a few inches, Zero had pounced. Fueled by rage, he moved quickly upon Virziel, throwing a punch into his cheek.
"HOW DARE YOU PIE ME! MAKING ME RELIVE THE HORROR...!"
"I'd say he deserved that."
"Yes, the idiot deserved it."
"Would you two HELP ME!?"
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DearestDoormat rolled 2 20-sided dice:
8, 18
Total: 26 (2-40)
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Posted: Fri Dec 30, 2011 1:58 am
12/30 roll 2
Name of the enemy you are fighting: Zero Omega
AC of the enemy you are fighting: 16
If your attack was successful: No
Enemies HP before your attack: 37
Enemies HP after your attack: 37
---
My AC: 8
My DC: 18
---- With DD and Aurelius watching from a short distance away, Virziel was left rolling about on the ground, grappling with his newly enraged foe. Zero snatched up the machete from the ground, and that was when the demon decided it was time to get out of there. He shoved roughly up on Zero's shoulders, forcing him aside enough to allow himself to roll safely out of the way of the next swing of the blade.
"Thanks for nothing!" he shouted.
"I can say the same thing," Aurelius replied with an indifferent shrug.
"Watch out, he's coming back! Man, you really pissed him off."
"I didn't even mean to do it! AUGH!" Virziel cried, leaping back as the blade grazed his shirt.
"You lie! You're working with them! To humiliate me!"
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DearestDoormat rolled 2 20-sided dice:
18, 13
Total: 31 (2-40)
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Posted: Sat Dec 31, 2011 9:57 am
12/31 roll 1
Name of the enemy you are fighting: Zero Omega
AC of the enemy you are fighting: 16
If your attack was successful: Yes
Enemies HP before your attack: 37
Enemies HP after your attack: 24
---
My AC: 18
My DC: 13
---- "I haven't done anything like that!" Virziel shouted, shaking his head side to side as he continuously dodged and swerved out of the way.
"You lie! Then why is there pie all over my face? Horrible, wretched pie!" Zero bellowed back, his machete ceaselessly swinging through the air.
"Because you're stupid? Stop that already!"
"Just beat him up," DD chimed in, almost sounding bored with her suggestion, despite how harsh it was.
"Yes, I'd very much like to return home."
Virziel glanced back at him with a frown, but even with his head turned, his hand shot up and caught Zero around the wrist, stopping him in mid-swing. "I guess I should act seriously now," he said flatly.
"Wha-?"
Without further warning, Virziel twisted his arm and brought Zero's moving along with it. There was a resulting snap that rang in the ears of those watching, causing the only female present to cringe. Zero let out a bellow of pain, and Virziel continued the motion, dragging the man upwards into the air and tossing him to the side. He went barreling straight toward Aurelius, who huffed out a sigh and motioned DD safely away.
"What a bother."
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DearestDoormat rolled 2 20-sided dice:
18, 19
Total: 37 (2-40)
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Posted: Sat Dec 31, 2011 9:58 am
12/31 roll 2
Name of the enemy you are fighting: Zero Omega
AC of the enemy you are fighting: 16
If your attack was successful: Yes
Enemies HP before your attack: 24
Enemies HP after your attack: 5
---
My AC: 18
My DC: 19
---- Flung through the air, Zero Omega's tiny head wings flapped furiously but to no avail. His wide, surprised eyes squeezed shut as he reached his target, and Aurelius drew back his fist in preparation. It slammed forward as Zero met him, landing a rough strike made even more violent as Aurelius thrust out his own large wings to keep himself steady, and even rock forward to meet the helpless man. There were more cracks of possible broken bones, ribs most likely this time, and Zero was shoved back the way he'd come, left to go skidding across the ground.
Aurelius stepped back, shaking out his hand with a scowl on his face. "So you can't even finish someone off on your own? Your amount of pathetic never ceases to amaze me."
"Are you kidding? That was awesome! Combo attack!"
"Yeah, see? It was cool," Virziel grumbled, folding his arms across his chest.
The trio then heard a groan and looked over at Zero's crumpled body. It was trembling and gasping, but slowly and surely rising back to its feet.
"Oh... seems you couldn't finish him off either."
"Hmph."
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DearestDoormat rolled 2 20-sided dice:
14, 10
Total: 24 (2-40)
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Posted: Sun Jan 01, 2012 3:50 am
1/1 roll 1
Name of the enemy you are fighting: Zero Omega
AC of the enemy you are fighting: 16
If your attack was successful: No
Enemies HP before your attack: 5
Enemies HP after your attack: 5
---
My AC: 14
My DC: 10
---- [RP Pending. I'm drunk. Happy New Year.]
With arms quivering from the effort, Zero pushed himself slowly up to his knees, sitting hunched forward on the ground and breathing heavily. "I will have it... I will have my revenge. No more... no more pie will ever... curse this earth..."
"Then why don't you just take the pie and not all the other sweets as well?"
"Yeah, I'd be okay with that."
"I don't really care about any of this..."
"No! No, I will... I will destroy it all... including you!" Zero bellowed as he pushed himself upwards. He staggered to his feet, took a stumbling step forward, then used the momentum to fall into a run. He went sprinting toward Aurelius, who raised his sword in preparation to defend himself and cut down his opponent once and for all.
But Zero was wounded and near defeat. He lost his footing as his knees gave out on him, and fell into a forward somersault. Aurelius shifted in surprise, only to find Zero springing back up again from just a few feet away. The rolling jump found its target, colliding with the angelic man and knocking him hard to his back.
Hands reached out and clutched at Aurelius' throat, and he gagged and flinched, his own shoving desperately at his attacker to try and knock him away.
"V-Virziel, do something!" DD cried, showing a rare sign of genuine concern.
"Mmph?"
"GET YOUR FACE OUT OF THAT COOKIE JAR!"
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DearestDoormat rolled 2 20-sided dice:
8, 17
Total: 25 (2-40)
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Posted: Sun Jan 01, 2012 3:52 am
1/1 roll 2
Name of the enemy you are fighting: Zero Omega
AC of the enemy you are fighting: 16
If your attack was successful: No
Enemies HP before your attack: 5
Enemies HP after your attack: 5
---
My AC: 8
My DC: 17
---- DD smacked the jar out of Virziel's hands and it crashed to the floor, mixing cookies with shards of glass. Virziel glowered at her, but begrudgingly rose to his feet again and cracked his knuckles. "Fine, if you're gonna be so obnoxious about it..."
"GYAK-"
"Just hurry!"
Virziel sprang behind Zero and grasped him around the waist, but when he hauled him upwards, his grip remained strong and simply lifted Aurelius up with them. So Virziel dropped him and decided to grab somewhere else. His fingers ripped at the headwings sprouting from his hair and gave a mighty pull.
This time Zero Omega let out a howl of pain and recoiled, his hands instantly releasing his prey to instead grab at Virziel to try and make him let go. He didn't, and continued to drag him backwards. DD quickly ducked onto the scene and hooked her hands under Aurelius' arms. Straining from his size, she slowly dragged him backwards and away toward safety, then slumped beside his panting, throat-clutching form.
"Are you alright?"
"G... give me a... moment..." he wheezed pitifully.
Beside them, Zero and Virziel grappled, Zero huffing and Virziel growling in irritation and effort. For a nearly dead guy, he had a lot of energy left. Must have been the power of desperation.
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DearestDoormat rolled 2 20-sided dice:
13, 8
Total: 21 (2-40)
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Posted: Mon Jan 02, 2012 12:44 am
1/2 roll 1
Name of the enemy you are fighting: Zero Omega
AC of the enemy you are fighting: 16
If your attack was successful: No
Enemies HP before your attack: 5
Enemies HP after your attack: 5
---
My AC: 13
My DC: 8
---- "Just hurry up and... die already!" Virziel huffed, still struggling with his opponent. But he fought to the end, as the two stood with hands interlocked, pushing forward to try and gain ground on the other.
"No! You horrible pie fiend!"
"I told you that was an accident!"
"It wasn't! I know it wasn't!"
"You might end up with bruises..." DD murmured, ignoring the fight as she continued to tend to Aurelius. Her fingers lightly brushed against his neck as her lips fell into a small pout.
"That is acceptable," he replied curtly. "Bruises will fade."
The girl sighed and glanced up, pout sliding into a frown as she saw Virziel go tumbling to the side from a particularly hard shove from Zero.
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DearestDoormat rolled 2 20-sided dice:
5, 5
Total: 10 (2-40)
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Posted: Mon Jan 02, 2012 12:46 am
1/2 roll 2
Name of the enemy you are fighting: Zero Omega
AC of the enemy you are fighting: 16
If your attack was successful: No
Enemies HP before your attack: 5
Enemies HP after your attack: 5
---
My AC: 5
My DC: 5
---- [So many fives!]
"You're getting beat by someone so near defeat?" DD asked, her head cocked curiously to the side.
"Shut up! And how do you know how near death the guy is?" Virziel growled as he quickly rose to his feet again with the help of his wings.
She just shrugged and pulled out her iPod to start fiddling with it. Aurelius paused, interest perked upon recollection of what the device had previously done. He leaned in, tilting his head to see the screen. "What are you doing..?"
"Maybe I can think up a sure way to beat him once and for all, since he's so persistent about getting up again. He really should just drop it. His whole reasoning for this is pretty stupid."
"What did you say?!" Zero roared, but his raging charge was halted by Virziel as they locked in another stalemate.
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DearestDoormat rolled 2 20-sided dice:
18, 1
Total: 19 (2-40)
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Posted: Tue Jan 03, 2012 7:14 am
1/3 roll 1
Name of the enemy you are fighting: Zero Omega
AC of the enemy you are fighting: 16
If your attack was successful: Yes
Enemies HP before your attack: 5
Enemies HP after your attack: 4
---
My AC: 18
My DC: 1
---- They were grappling again, neither giving up any ground despite Zero's heavy panting. Virziel growled in frustration as he braced his feet against the ground, toes digging in deep grooves through the grass.
Aurelius slowly rose to his feet, brushing past DD who tried to stop him, and walked toward the fighting pair. His pace increased as he went, starting as a walk, slipping into a jog, and sliding into a full run until he was literally sprinting toward them. He tensed, his fingers curling into a tight fist. He drew it back as he was nearly there, readying himself to swing.
Then as he leaned forward, throwing his fist into Zero's cheek, his foot caught Virziel's and he fell with a thud into the grass, face first.
Zero stumbled back, but the accidental trip had caused the blow to merely graze his cheek. Virziel stood there blinking dumbly at Aurelius, who still lay face down and unmoving. DD rushed forward a second later, and bopped Virziel on the arm with her own knuckles. "You idiot!"
"...I didn't see him."
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DearestDoormat rolled 2 20-sided dice:
12, 14
Total: 26 (2-40)
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Posted: Tue Jan 03, 2012 7:15 am
1/3 roll 2
Name of the enemy you are fighting: Zero Omega
AC of the enemy you are fighting: 16
If your attack was successful: No
Enemies HP before your attack: 4
Enemies HP after your attack: 4
---
My AC: 12
My DC: 14
---- "Haha! Finishing off you three will not be a challenge if you're busy killing each other!" Zero gloated, hands on his hips, chest pushed out and chin tipped back to let his laughter echo into the air.
"Shut up!" DD shrilled, enough that their foe shrank back in alarm. She glared at him, then knelt by Aurelius, who had slowly sat up to rub at his nose. "Are you okay?"
"...ouch."
"Why are you fussing over that clumsy idiot?" Virziel grumbled.
"You're the one who caused it, stupid."
"...see? You're so busy argu-" Zero tried to cut back in.
"Shut up!"
"Geh..."
"This is humiliating..."
"It wasn't your fault."
"It was! He came charging in out of nowhere so he deserved it!"
"He was trying to help because you weren't accomplishing anything!"
"I had it under control!"
"You did not!"
"I did too!"
"I feel a bit dizzy..."
"Oh god, your nose is bleeding... You shouldn't have tried to act again so soon after being throttled like that!"
"My apologies..." Aurelius sighed.
DD reached up and lightly pinched his nose, as hers wrinkled in slight disgust. "This is such a pain..."
"St... stop ignoring me!" Zero piped up again in irritation.
"SHUT UP! This is your fault to begin with! Virziel, go kill him already!"
"Yeah, yeah..."
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DearestDoormat rolled 2 20-sided dice:
18, 14
Total: 32 (2-40)
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Posted: Wed Jan 04, 2012 12:51 am
1/4 roll 1
Name of the enemy you are fighting: Zero Omega
AC of the enemy you are fighting: 16
If your attack was successful: Yes
Enemies HP before your attack: 4
Enemies HP after your attack: -10
---
My AC: 18
My DC: 14
---- Virziel rolled his shoulders in a series of small pops as he turned toward the winded and wounded Zero Omega. "Well, you heard her. It's time to finish things. Sorry, it's nothing personal."
"Yes it is! He's burning all your cookies!"
"...oh yeah! It's totally personal!"
"I don't care! Stop meddling in my affairs!"
Zero stood his ground, bracing himself as Virziel rushed forward. He didn't stand a chance. As if spurred by the command to finish things, the demon charged in with claws flailing and teeth bared. Like a wild animal, he went after his prey for the final time. He brought it down, claws sinking into flesh as Zero was slammed and pinned to the ground.
"GYAK-!" he grunted out in pain.
DD's wide eyes were locked upon the sight, unable to look away as the body was ripped deeply into, until a hand came over her face to block it out. She turned her head and met Aurelius' gaze. His icy eyes silently told her not to scar her memory with such a scene. So she nodded and waited with head bowed and body tense. Filling her ears were the sounds of Virziel's wild sounds and Zero's pleas and cries of terror and pain.
"All I wanted was... to not be pied! Augh... NGHH!"
Aureilius quickly took note and covered DD's ears as well, waiting until it was over before gently taking her hands and leading her away. "This is not something for a lady to see."
"I know I told him to kill him, and I know he deserved it, b-but..." she mumbled shakily.
"Shh, it is alright. Do not worry yourself. It is over. Idiot demon!" he added to Virziel. "Clean yourself up before joining us."
Slowly, DD nodded her head as she continued walking with the angel. Soon they had reached the edge of the field and settled on the fence to wait. It wasn't much longer before Virziel arrived, skin clean but clothes splotched with large splashes of red. DD tried to ignore it.
"I guess it's time to send you both home..." She reached into her pocket and pulled out the iPod. Lowering her head over it, she began to type.
"A portal appears, blue and shimmering brightly in the dark of light. Beside it stands a pile of Virziel's favorite cookies packed neatly in five tins, as a reward for his help. Stepping through the portal, the two are returned home safely to continue to live out their lives. At some point, the girl will finally finish writing said lives. Too bad they won't be entirely happy."
"Wait. What's that last part say?" Aurelius asked with a frown.
"N-nothing!" DD cried, quickly hitting "submit" to avoid letting him see further. "Uh, there. You're good to go."
He gave her a suspicious look, but it was interrupted as a bright flash of light blinded the trio, causing all to flinch and turn away.
"There's your ride."
"...thank you. Take care of yourself, my dear," Aurelius murmured, taking up her hand. He planted a soft kiss upon the back of it, and let out an amused chuckle as he saw DD wrinkle her nose in response. "You are a strange one."
"Yeah, thanks. Don't go killing each other once you're back home."
"I can make no guarantees."
"Hmmph. Virziel, don't eat all those at once. Your teeth will fall out and you'll get fat."
"Tch, whatever." But he reluctantly packed the lid on the first, already nearly empty tin, and piled it back with the rest to hold juggled in his arms. "...thanks."
"No problem. Hopefully I won't have to call on y'all for help again, but be ready just in case. So... see ya." She lifted her hand in a light wave, which Aurelius returned. The two turned and stepped through the portal. With another blinding flash, they vanished from sight and the portal shrank upon itself and disappeared. "Well... I guess it's over."
Sighing in slight disappointment, the girl turned and began to walk down the road, back toward her normal life. She wished she had at least had them drop her off at home first. She hadn't thought that out very well.
"...I hope all the zombie bodies have been cleaned up."
[End.]
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