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 Posted: Sat Sep 24, 2011 3:12 pm
.....................what.
The real Xiu gaped in surprise--a surprise that was briefly reflected on the dream Xiu's face--when she heard Roch speak again. Was he becoming lucid again? It certainly seemed like it. The Baku watched as their surroundings went dark, something that had become fairly familiar to her by this point. The mansion, the gate, and even the older dream Xiu--they all disappeared into the darkness.
There was nothing else to do right now than to wait...and to dwell on what she had just seen. Perhaps something like that wouldn't have been seen as a big deal to some people, but to Xiu (who had already been conflicted about all of this as is)?
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Posted: Sat Sep 24, 2011 3:16 pm
The world lit up again, a soft, gentle light of night. The wind was back, showing that they were on the roof again. And Roch, still in his adult form, stood in front of her. "I'm still a little deeper than I like," he told her. "But I'm lucid enough to control it somewhat. Xiu, I... I need to talk to you about something. Something serious," he said quietly.
"In the first dream you entered, you saw me as a kid, in a house, all alone. Do you remember that? Well that was when I was six. My mother had just skipped out on me, because we were out of alcohol. She never came back. That scene in the well, at the beginning of this dream? That was when I was eight. Two years after I met Bones and started living on the street for all my waking hours."
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Posted: Sat Sep 24, 2011 3:37 pm
Xiu frowned. Something...serious? What could he possibly want to tell her? The Baku looked at him silently, taking in his expression before giving a slow nod of her head to indicate that she understood.
When he began to describe some of the backgrounds of the dreams she had witnessed, Xiu's frown began to deepen with each word, her brows knitting together. These were things that she had never known about him. Of course, she had once wondered what happened to Roch's mother (or why he never spoke about her) and now it was clear why. Because she had left when he was just a child.
And then the well..."Why...why are you telling me this?" She was genuinely confused--why was the older Roch divulging this information to her?
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Posted: Sat Sep 24, 2011 3:55 pm
"Because I'm still a bit... older than I usually am, y'know?" he said. "This was some powerful dreaming. I'm not ready for something serious. Hell, I'm only just now talking with my dad on a regular basis, and half the time we do that we're arguing. I don't know how to be loved, Xiu. I mean, other than by guys that saw me more as a pet than as a friend. And I'm pretty sure I don't know how to love, either."
He gave her a little, crooked smile, but his eyes were sad. "And even in my dreams, you were never mine. Says a lot, huh? I don't know how much I'll remember of this when I wake up, even this conversation. But hell, it's a lot of fun for me. I like chasing you around, teasing you, embarrassing the hell out of myself. And maybe a part of me DOES love you. I dunno. But... hey. I'll be back to normal in a little bit, you can pretend this chat never happened if you want."
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Posted: Sat Sep 24, 2011 4:22 pm
Xiu clasped her hands to her chest as she tried to find something to say. Poor Roch. What was it like to not know how to be loved? Even if her parents had been a little strict, she always had her uncle, and when she came to Amity--aah.
"But...but Roch, aren't there different types of love?" Baku fidgeted nervously, and then tilted her head back to look up at him. "It's not just...romantic love. There's familial love, and there's also love between friends. Don't you think that you and Danny care for each other in such a way?" They were best friends, weren't they?
The Baku thought back to what she had decided before--what she had been planning to tell Roch and Demi about her feelings--and she sighed. "At our age...maybe it's too early to consider things like romance, but we definitely have friendship love...right?"
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Posted: Sat Sep 24, 2011 4:31 pm
"Xiu," Roch said, moving closer to look her in the eyes. "I'm everybody's friend. But not many of them are mine. Friendship being love? I don't get that yet. Maybe I will with time, maybe I won't. You can try and help me, if you want. But--" He looked around, at his imaginary human world. "Gone for weeks," he said. "That's still my goal."
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Posted: Sat Sep 24, 2011 4:49 pm
Roch's view on friendship really did differ from her own. In fact, she could see herself on the opposite end of that spectrum--she would be one of those people who considered someone a friend, even if they didn't see her in the same light. To Xiu, and it was probably a naive way to go about life, everyone she knew was a friend to her in one way or another. Perhaps she simply opened herself up too easily.
"...They'll be people who will miss you when you disappear for weeks on end." The Baku pointed out quietly. What else was she supposed to say? This dream had turned out to be both eye-opening and confusing at the same time.
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Posted: Sat Sep 24, 2011 4:59 pm
"Mot won't," he said. "Mot will understand, I think. Danny might, but she's as apt to go 'oh, you were gone?' when I get back as anything. Taryn might, but we still ain't that close, so she'll probably just check in to make sure I'm still alive once in a while and be fine."
He thought for a moment. "I think you're the only one that would miss me like that, Xiu," he said with a little smile. "Which is probably why I shouldn't have become your friend. Sorry about that."
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Posted: Sat Sep 24, 2011 5:56 pm
Despite what Roch was saying, Xiu was sure that they would miss him, whether he thought so or not. However, it was his apology that earned a frown from her, and she even crossed her arms and puffed her cheeks out at him. For a moment, she was silent, and then she spoke in a questioning tone.
"...Do you regret it, then? Being friends with me?" The Baku expected an honest answer from the boil. "Because I don't, and I don't think I ever will regret being friends with the people I have now, even if they do stupid things." Okay, it was a little cheesy, but it really was true.
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Posted: Sat Sep 24, 2011 6:51 pm
"I don't want you to be sad because of me," he said simply. "Isn't it easier on everyone if nobody misses me when I'm gone? I would have been happier if I hadn't missed my old man."
He looked down, suddenly appearing as his teenage self. "I don't want to... be missed," he said quietly. "It's as lonely as missing someone, I bet."
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Posted: Sat Sep 24, 2011 8:36 pm
Ah, now there was the Roch she knew. "But...is it really a bad thing?" She leaned forward and looked up at his face, trying to offer him a smile, "Being missed means that someone cares, right? And it means being all the happier when you're reunited again." That was a positive way to look at it, wasn't it?
She had actually had to dwell on that thought for a while. Occassionally, she would consider what would happen in the future, and no matter how she looked at it...well, she and her friends would ultimately have to part ways eventually. Maybe not all of them, but some would move, and others would frequently have business in the human world. Here and now though, she definitely didn't regret her friendships.
"Roch, just...enjoy what you have now."
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Posted: Sat Sep 24, 2011 8:45 pm
He gave her a little smile, one that seemed conflicted. "Hey, in the real world, are you comfortable? You can lay on my bed if you want. I ain't gonna be waking up any time soon, I'm still exhausted from practicing."
Then he stopped, shaking his head. "No, I think now's not a good time. But sometime, you and me gotta go on a dream date. Okay? Not... as boilfriend and ghoulfriend, just... as one lucid dreamer and another."
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Posted: Sat Sep 24, 2011 9:55 pm
"I should go," Xiu agreed, smiling faintly, "And I...u-uh...sure?" The request had surprised her, but if he wanted to go out on a dream outing--between friends--why not? It would be interesting enough, at least.
Xiu felt a gentle tug pulling her back as Roch's dream tried to kick her out. Relaxing, she allowed this to happen, letting herself get pushed through a door that had shown up behind her. She closed her eyes.
When she opened them again, she was back in her body. With a little grimace, the Baku stood up and stretched, trying to get the stiffness out of her joints. Turning to look at the sleeping Roch, she tugged the blankets up a little higher for him, and then silently left, quietly pulling the door closed behind her.
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