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Robert looked like a small, rolled up gnome-colored soccer ball. While he was busy trying to keep from letting Petra see him, he started to come to some serious realizations.

First, he was rolled up like a ball. The first thought he had was, of course, the sexual implications - the second thought came slower, but it came nonetheless. How was he doing this? Gnome or not, shouldn't there be tiny ribs keeping him from being able to bend this far inward?

He unfurled slightly, and pulled up his little shirt. From his vantage point, he couldn't see any actual stomach. But oh, it was there.

He reached in with his hand.

And further.

And further.

Until finally he felt the flat surface of his mid-section, punctuated by odd markings. He bent his head as far as he could see, and his eyes widened.

His entire mid-section was flattened pancake thin, and covered in tracks. Tire tracks.

"NICE." He huffed out, holding his shirt up for others to see. "Hey guys, I think I figured out how this dude died. I'M ROADKILL. BAAHAHAHAHAHA."

Leon tried his best not to laugh at the male horse like creature with the feminine voice of Candace. "One your a boy-err... boil." he corrected himself quickly before the dragon partner could scold him again.
"I don't ride on boils, and two; you kick." he said as a matter of fact. Horseyboil or not, he was not going to chance a kick to the jewels, even if the golem form probably couldn't feel it.

Probably, and it was one thing he'd rather not find out.

He then turned his direction to the little ball of undead baby at his feet, as he came up to show his shirt and his flat as a flapjack chest. "My possible baby was run over?" he said in mock horror as he turned to give poe a sharp glare "I know postpartum depression is bad but wow, you took it far didn't you?" he asked incredulously, letting out a sharp his of utter disbelief to her imaginary actions.

"And to think we had hot vampire rutting offscreen away from prying fangirl eyes."

Ennéa opened her eyes and absently raised a hand to rub the sleep from them -- or would have had her right arm still had a hand. "Aaa!!!" she yelped, staring at the rotted stump before her. The skin was grey and slightly shredded near the end of her stump and Ennéa could just see the dull white sheen of the two bones of her forearm protruding through.

Ennéa's mind struggled for purchase, trying to make sense of what she was seeing. Had she died (yet again) and come back as a zombie (yet again)? For a wild moment, she felt herself bordering on the verge of panic. Last time she had been a zombie in that game or whatever it had absolutely sucked. And her leg had fallen off.

But that hadn't really happened, right? Being a zombie was just a trick of the candidate test, just like -- oh, oh wait. Ennéa vaguely remembered Caelius' lecture on golems.

She didn't remember all of it, being distracted and wondering if the golems were made out of clay like mythological golems and what sort of throwing wheel they'd need to make something of that size. Probably a very, very, large one, she had decided.

So... this wasn't her her; just her in a golem. Somehow, that made things infinitely less horrible. Ennéa raised her rotted stump once again and studied it with morbid interest before noticing one other crucial detail she had missed before: not only was she a zombie but a male zombie.

Ennéa checked herself twice over just to be sure but it certainly appeared that way. Her current body was that of a slightly built adolescent male. Zombified. And missing a hand. Ennéa idly wondered what happened to it.

She started walking along and searching the ground, just to make sure her his? hand hadn't just fallen off and gotten lost somewhere.

[Ennéa is currently a short male zombie]

Scott stared at the pods, tugging absentmindedly at the golden silk bracelet hanging from his wrist. He knew what they were, and was faintly aware that they should have stirred some kind of emotion in him – fear, anxiety, panic. But all he could focus on was how comfortable the insides looked, Caelius’s utterance of the word sleep turning over and over in his head.

Hey, have you ever thought about the universe?

Scott rubbed at his eyes as if that would get rid of the bags beneath them. It wasn’t a question he wanted to be asked at two in the morning. It wasn’t a question he wanted to be asked ever. The “universe” was not a particularly focused point of discussion, and he could barely handle thinking about it when he was fully awake let alone trying to get some sleep before his first big mission doing… whatever it was Hunters did. But that didn’t seem to concern Newt, who had fallen into a pattern of punctuating long periods of silence with whatever philosophical pondering popped into her head.

3 AM. Did you ever think about the word parsnip?

4:34 AM. Why do we have ten fingers? Why not eleven? Why not nine? Though I guess technically I don’t have any…

5:02 AM. If you only had ten seconds to live, how would you spend it?

Sleeping.

Scott's curtness had only quieted his weapon for twenty minutes, as it seemed as if she was only tangentially concerned with his answers. She was much happier sharing her own, as if amazed by the fact that she had someone to listen to them, whether they wanted to or not.

Scott’s fingers hit the pod’s keys with the automated precision of a machine. His head hummed in tune with the electric thrumming of the room, struggling to build up to its usual peak efficiency, but weighed down by too much fatigue. Caelius’s threat was sounding like more and more of an open invitation, and Scott’s eyes closed even before someone hit the switch.

Hey, did you ever think about what life would be like if you were a –

-

[ROLLING]

"Er... um... I... I think there's been a um... mistake?" Jerry's voice, uncharacteristically devoid of his usual merriment was instead quavering with anxiety. He had, so far, been standing in a bit of a stunned silence, wondering if this was some sort of odd hallucination or perhaps he was having some sort of terrible nightmare.

Greyed, slightly tattered with rot but still *fuzzy* pointed ears lowered as bright green eyes boggled at the others who... SOUNDED like his friends but not a familiar face was among them. Bandaged hands wrung an equally fuzzy albeit gold-adorned tail. "Er... I mean... We ah... My Goodness." The breasts, though, those had been the most startling of all.

At.... at.... at least he didn't have to worry about losing his glasses? Always look on the sunny side. He battled valiantly against the compulsion to crumble to the floor right then and there.

((Jerry's Golem: Undead Mummified Cat girl. 3'10"))

Gale pointed out that he was taller and Bix just sort of sputtered. He also, as of yet, had not made any attempt to adjust his voice to be more feminine.

"Hey .. shut up! When we get back.. to the effin.. real world.. I'll show you who is taller!" His threats seemed lame and weird coming out of a petite asian monster. He took a few steps forward and then stopped.

He leaned forward to whisper slightly to Gale. "Umm.. it's really weird not having anything.." He pointed to his crotch. "Down there.. when you walk and stuff? You know?" So. Inappropriate.

Mina was cackling in his head. "Gail.. like with an I. That's a girl's name. My 3rd grade teacher was a lady named Gail. Plus like a Gale is a crazy strong wind and you are all like.. frosty weather.. I dunno.." It made sense to him.

Still hadn't adjusted his voice. Apparently it hadn't dawned on him at all.

Bix was adjusting his flowing skirts for a moment when he was bumped by something large and burly. He gasped and clung to it. To anyone just looking they might have made a very adorable yeti couple with the wilting flower of a female and the impressive specimen of a male...

But of course the male was giggling like a girl and the dainty one was cursing under his breath like a sailor.

"Jeezis don't bump me I'm tiny.." And he looked up. And up. AND UP. It was big and hairy and manly and monster-y and... his desu eyes sparkled. "So badass. So jealous."

You guys are sooooo cute together. I think I might be jealous. This guy's a hunk!

Bix's cheeks flushed, as per usual, but it looked even more adorable under the white fur and makeup of his golem.