Welcome to Gaia! ::

Well thank god for that!

I shall look at that installment of My Inner Life (bye bye bain cells) when people aren't around to look at me funny.

I remember this part. It's both amusing and kills my brain cells. So where is the tiger sex bit?

Oh man, that's not a sentence I ever imagined typing...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KG7uGduAj1c

Part 26. NSFW.

What? That wasn't even the worst part. try the bonding sequence. And no, I'm not going near it again.

You want to destroy the universe?!

True, I wouldn't want the world to end. I'm kinda enjoying life at the moment.

SO MUCH IN COMMON!!!!

Chapter 6

Princess Izabumpella Beautiful Eugenics Suzuki-chan Silverstar sat down in the foyer and had some tea.

She sat in the foyer in her magnificent dress, which had a magnificent butt skirt and an even more magnificent collar, three feet in length and framing her head with silver thread. Diamonds sparkled at each lacy spike. Her hair was also coiled with diamonds, and her long earrings were made of diamonds. Her bodice was sewn with diamonds. Her skirt trailed with lacy ribbons and even more diamonds. The plush fabric was not at all stiff or uncomfortable. This, after all, was her lounging and work dress.

A servant handed her the tea on a silver platter. These platters, made of delicate china, painted silver, patterned with laurel leaves of gold, were the daily plates. The intricate spoons, with their carved-leaf handles and silver lead paint, were the daily spoons.

You should have seen their special occasion lead-painted cutlery and plates.

The tea was warm and steaming, made from an eastern herb that was terribly hard to get a hold of. In fact, theirs was the only tea like it in the entire kingdom. It was called Smarmy Tea, and made its drinkers feel a strange sleepy sensation when of weak constitution.

The tea was the tea of choice for poisoners, for its naturally strong and bitter taste. Of course, Bump had already spent thirteen years in the desert building an immunity to all known poisons, so she wasn't worried.

Bump drank her tea, sipping delicately. For a snack there was stuffed duck covered in orange sauce. The duck was an Atchoo bird, from the south eastern Choo Islands. It was a rare bird--there were only three left aside from the one she was ready to feast on, and my were they delicious. The feathers were a sparkly gold, like diamonds.

Bump recalled her many years of training. Not only had she learned how to walk with thirty books stacked on her head, but she'd also been trained in weaponry. It was hard, at first, but she was now a master of the sword, the shield, the staff, the axe, the club, the bow, the hawk, the horse, the ballista, and the machine gun.

At one point she'd fallen off a cliff at the edge of the desert, and had to swim back to the kingdom of Majyk herself. It was from this experience that she'd become able to hold her breath for upwards of thirteen hours.

Bump's tea slowly cooled as she reminisced, chewing delicately on Atchoo duck meat. She called a servant over and told him to order another Atchoo duck from the islands of Choo. The servant smiled, happy to oblige, and skipped off with his hair flying.

Bump settled back into her couch and imagined Charles' rippled abs in her mind's eye. They were hewn from marble stone, the most beautiful marble stone she'd ever seen.

I love random katanas and omg in dialogue.

Gasp! Plot twist!