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 Posted: Fri Dec 29, 2006 6:30 am
I heart LOVE heart that poem!
My current boyfriend gave that to me ages ago before we started dating to give my confidence a boost. I've been told I was ugly or weird looking since I entered school. So now, people call me pretty and it's hard to believe.
No, I don't think I'm pretty, or cute, or hot or anything like that.
I think I'm kind of ugly.
But sometimes smile Sometimes I think I'm gorgeous and adorable and sexy and amazing. And sometimes I remember that I don't CARE what other people think about me! And sometimes I remember that
I have people who love me. I have friends and family and a boyfriend who would do anything for me. It took me freaking 16 years to realize people gave a s**t about me. So I mean, what's it matter that I don't look how magazines and movies have told people is "pretty". Who cares if I can point out 80 girls walking down the street "prettier" than I am.
Just because people say you're not pretty doesn't mean everyone thinks your ugly razz
Lots of people find whatever you find "ugly" about yourself attractive. (Maybe it's just me? razz ) I've got friends with big ears, they'd look just BIZZARE without them, I love their ears. My boyfriend has a large nose smile I love his nose, I think it's amazing. I have a GIANT POOFY ANGELA DAVIS FRO: My boyfriend and friends like to play with it.
So really the trick is remembering that whatever you don't like about yourself.
SOMEONE is going to LOVE.
...and that's my rant smile great poem!
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Posted: Mon Jan 01, 2007 7:11 am
Savina Lexia_Starr Couldn't they be right, though?
I mean, if 1,000 completely different people say one thing and 1 person says the opposite, don't you think the more common opinion may be true? Except that out of that 1,000 there are people who say it out of spite, people who lie, people who say it because they don't find anyone attractive, people who say it because they're insecure with themselves, people who like black women and you're white, people who like long hair and your's is short... And the one person who may say the opposite is the only one that matters. One thing that I have found most important is to take care of yourself and what matters to YOU. If I don't pluck my eyebrows, no matter WHAT else I do, I think I look trashy. However, if they're plucked nicely, I can be wearing dirty, kid-stained jammies with my hair an oily disaster and no make-up, and I think I look good. Also, when I take a shower, blow-dry my hair and put on nice, clean clothes and some basic make up, I just FEEL better. Being dirty and lazy only makes you FEEL dirty and lazy. Just painting my toenails, even though no one sees it but me makes me happy, because I know my toes look nice. I've got nice gigantic, red, poofy scars on my face that no makeup can cover... and there's days I hate them and they're all I see when I look in the mirror... and there's days when I forget they exist. But in all reality, guess what? I have a husband who met me BEFORE my face got ******** up... and he still married me and doesn't care. Appearance isn't everything. In all reality, all that REALLY matters is that you're not so obese that you're handicapped and destined for early death, that you're clean and have brushed your hair, wear clothes that fit you comfortably and aren't dirty, and that you're happy with how you feel. And all of that is just common sense and general hygiene. You shouldn't do anything for anyone but YOURSELF. Just because the short skirts and low v-neck shirts seem to magnatize some guys eyes doesn't mean you should wear them, especially if you don't feel good in them... because if you're not comfortable, why the hell would you want to where them in the first place? To impress someone who doesn't like you for who you are? So what the hell is the point? I know everyone's been pushing this, but seriously, all though I know it's REALLY hard to understand, life is entirely different outside high school. There ARE no more social cliques you have to see or deal with. No one you're forced to be around that you don't want to (other than co-workers) and none of the bullshit that you deal with every single day. Public school in general, almost more than being about education, is one big long lesson in learning this social rule: It's a hell of a lot better to act like yourself and have few friends and be happy than act like someone you're not and have tons of acquantinces who you have to walk on broken glass around so you don't break your 'appearance'. Chepi... *sigh* You've currently chosen the road of 'Everyone hates me and I hate everyone. I suck and everyone else sucks too." You know where that gets you? Seriously? Absolutely nowhere. When you hate everyone and think they suck and you think everyone hates you... um, where's the invitation to MAKE friends or to GET boyfriends? You've shut it all out by assuming that you suck and they suck and everyone sucks. No one is going to approach you if you're going to be a sarcastic b***h without giving them any chance. I bet you don't go to parties because they're 'probably stupid anyway'. You laugh about being pessimistic, but seriously, what you're laughing about is that you've made yourself your own worst enemy and put up a wall to the very things you complain about not having. And guess what? It's a normal teenager thing, and when you get older you'll realize how ridiculous it is. I know because I've been there, and so have other people I know. I'm only 21, but 5 years ago was SO long ago now. I'm barely the same person, if only in name and general appearance. That's all cute and nice, but that's not what I said.
Personal preferances doesn't make someone call you ugly, nor does it render a person completely invisible to everyone.
I'm not in high school, and I'm not talking about petty bullshit.
I hardly got to attend high school at all, so I really don't know much about teenaged politics.
I'm talking about real life. Walking down a busy street. Grocery shopping. Standing in a bookstore.
All the while watching how no one ever notices you. Seeing the looks of disgust when someone does.
Trying to smile at someone out of simple curtesy and getting nothing but the averting of eyes and side-stepping.
The kind that seems to be reserved for the unappealing and jsut plain repulsive.
All the while seeing how "pretty girls" have men falling over themselves when they do nothing but walk by.
In spite of the fact that they're wearing pajamas and a messy ponytail.
While no matter how you dress or what you do, you get the same reactions. Never being seen, or noticed.
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Posted: Mon Jan 01, 2007 10:31 pm
Lexia_Starr That's all cute and nice, but that's not what I said.
Personal preferances doesn't make someone call you ugly, nor does it render a person completely invisible to everyone.
I'm not in high school, and I'm not talking about petty bullshit.
I hardly got to attend high school at all, so I really don't know much about teenaged politics.
I'm talking about real life. Walking down a busy street. Grocery shopping. Standing in a bookstore.
All the while watching how no one ever notices you. Seeing the looks of disgust when someone does.
Trying to smile at someone out of simple curtesy and getting nothing but the averting of eyes and side-stepping.
The kind that seems to be reserved for the unappealing and jsut plain repulsive.
All the while seeing how "pretty girls" have men falling over themselves when they do nothing but walk by.
In spite of the fact that they're wearing pajamas and a messy ponytail.
While no matter how you dress or what you do, you get the same reactions. Never being seen, or noticed. Well excuse me. I wasn't trying to be cute. If people are giving you looks of disgust, then you're not ugly, you're probably dirty or smell bad, or you're 400 lbs and wearing a tight tank top, or you have warts the size of quarters sticking off your nose. Also, as for avoidance and what not, it could be your attitude. If you assume everyone hates you, if you don't smile at people and say, "Excuse me" people aren't going to extend that courtesy to you either. If YOU make a point to avoid eye contact, you'll never notice when people do look at you. If you act shy like you don't want to be spoken to, or like you hate everyone, people will pick up on that and not talk to you or look at you. Seems to me that this is your attitude, not your appearance.
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Posted: Mon Jan 01, 2007 11:21 pm
Savina Lexia_Starr That's all cute and nice, but that's not what I said.
Personal preferances doesn't make someone call you ugly, nor does it render a person completely invisible to everyone.
I'm not in high school, and I'm not talking about petty bullshit.
I hardly got to attend high school at all, so I really don't know much about teenaged politics.
I'm talking about real life. Walking down a busy street. Grocery shopping. Standing in a bookstore.
All the while watching how no one ever notices you. Seeing the looks of disgust when someone does.
Trying to smile at someone out of simple curtesy and getting nothing but the averting of eyes and side-stepping.
The kind that seems to be reserved for the unappealing and jsut plain repulsive.
All the while seeing how "pretty girls" have men falling over themselves when they do nothing but walk by.
In spite of the fact that they're wearing pajamas and a messy ponytail.
While no matter how you dress or what you do, you get the same reactions. Never being seen, or noticed. Well excuse me. I wasn't trying to be cute. If people are giving you looks of disgust, then you're not ugly, you're probably dirty or smell bad, or you're 400 lbs and wearing a tight tank top, or you have warts the size of quarters sticking off your nose. Also, as for avoidance and what not, it could be your attitude. If you assume everyone hates you, if you don't smile at people and say, "Excuse me" people aren't going to extend that courtesy to you either. If YOU make a point to avoid eye contact, you'll never notice when people do look at you. If you act shy like you don't want to be spoken to, or like you hate everyone, people will pick up on that and not talk to you or look at you. Seems to me that this is your attitude, not your appearance. Did you even read what I said at all, or did you just interject your own version of "everyone hates me"?
I don't happen to see or recall saying anything even remotely similar to "everyone hates me" or "I hate everyone".
Please try to actually read what I typed and actually reply with relivancy while curbing your projections or manifestations.
Thanks for the insult in the meantime, though.
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Posted: Tue Jan 02, 2007 4:23 pm
Lexia_Starr Did you even read what I said at all, or did you just interject your own version of "everyone hates me"?
I don't happen to see or recall saying anything even remotely similar to "everyone hates me" or "I hate everyone".
Please try to actually read what I typed and actually reply with relivancy while curbing your projections or manifestations.
Thanks for the insult in the meantime, though. I did read what you wrote, thank you. You said how people don't notice you, how people give you looks of disgust when they do notice you. Hence my comments about why you may get looks of disgust. As far as smiling at someone and them not smiling back, some people just don't. That's life. Also, certain geographical locations have less friendly people than elsewhere. Where I live now, generally (except on Black Friday and December 26th) everyone is very friendly, says excuse me, thank you, and smiles at everyone. However, I've been places where that's not common at all. People judge you by how you dress, too. If you dress punkish or gothic, it's not uncommon at all for people to completely avoid you. Also, I didn't insult you, for the record. I merely pointed out that attitude and cleanliness also could be reasons. I didn't SAY that you were a b***h or smelly, I was saying that's reasons that someone might give someone a look of disgust. Good lord, all I'm trying to say is just because the random stranger doesn't buy you a drink, smile at you, or men don't "fall over themselves" when you walk by doesn't mean you're ugly. In fact, the only "pretty girls" I've seen turn heads are the slutty ones, and people look either for another glimpse of skin, or to do a double-take because they can't believe someone would dress themselves like a whore willingly. Average women obviously are going to solicite average responses... and in this day and age, even most "average" woman are attractive. But you know what? Seriously, if you're going argue with me this much, then so be it. This whole thread is about self-esteem, and pointing out that just because guys don't fall over themselves to get to you doesn't mean you're ugly... just that you're not easy, which is GOOD. If you're really convinced that you're ugly, I'm not going to waste my time trying to prove to you you're not, because it's not my self-esteem that needs to obviously be improved. It's up to you.
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Posted: Sat Mar 31, 2007 10:47 pm
Ipstenu More and more I love my dad, who made damn sure all my life that I knew he didn't care about my weight. Today I'm a little more overweight than I'd like to be, but I'm in good shape and I'm strong. So he tells someone who's bagging on me about it to shut up, because I'm fine. Nothing beats parental support. Damn...i wish id been told that, my self esteem would be so much better...all my childhood i was told to loose weight and a million other things like to be more graceful to stop dressing like a boy ( when in reality i dressed like a boy because i was self conscious about my weight) and now everytime anyone in my family jokes or says anything about their weight i automatically think their talking to me before i realize their not. ive lost a lot of weight now that im older ( im 16) and im still bigger than d like to be, size 11-13 in pants. My bf says he loves it though because he hates really skinny boys, and that im just a little chubby but not too chubby or too skinny XP damn i wrote a lot. sry.
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Posted: Mon May 14, 2007 3:44 pm
Ah, I found that on my facebook account a couple of months ago. Very true, indeed...
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Posted: Wed Jun 06, 2007 1:41 pm
Girls your not ugly any more then a rose,
Girls you shine like stars in the dark sky,
Girls you ring all my bells so dont stop,
Girls you are perfect the way you are,
Girls you raise my spirit,
Girls you are treasures to use guys,
Girls I present you my heart,
LoL just decided to make a random stanza, nobody is ugly only those that treat others wrongly or cheat others or lie to others.
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Posted: Fri Aug 24, 2007 4:42 pm
Might I also add that somebody can not all that attractive but if they have a certain confidence about them, others are drawn to them. Which is great if you are confident but I guess there's no hope for the rest of us...
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Posted: Thu Sep 13, 2007 5:18 pm
hi girls, I came here 'cause..well I don't know why I'm here
but..my other post got moved or deleted, or lost..
I don't know
anyway...
I feel ..horrible, no guys want me ever..no girls..no anybody
I'm 15 and I know high school is a stupid surreal place that will be gone in three years
but still ..it's three YEARS, and I'm already depressed
today I wouldn't go to yoga class because I felt so ugly I didn't want to go in public, it comes in phases
no one says I'm pretty, I'm not
..no one ever compliments me
I can't afford clothes that I actually LIKE or fits my body type (which is kind of curvy, only not, because my boobs are too small to be called curvy)
my hair sucks
I just found out that I've been insulted behind my back and been called somebody who 'never takes a shower and is 'weird'
which makes me feel sick..and want to die, considering the fact I take a shower EVERY day, and wash my face twice a day, and try..really really hard, really hard, to be pretty, I wash my face twice a day because I used to have acne, and ..I still do..but less, but now my face is all dry and I hate it, and I don't know how to use makeup..and I don't know if I want to
I'm introverted ..which doesn't help anything
I am friendly, I"m nice to everyone, I DO talk to people when they talk to me, and I do talk to people on my own, I'm not a total introvert
but people avoid me
and I'm hideous
and I want...another life
I hate mirrors, I avoid them, or stare at them for long periods of time depending on a situation,
school bathrooms make me cry because flouecent weird lighting makes me look even worse, but I stare anyway
the good news: I'm going to a therapist..a one that specializes in body image issues and eating disorders, and hopefully that will help
becuase... Ican't live like this
plus: ok: so if someone said somthing really bad behind your friends back to you..would you tell your friend? even if you knew it would upset them?
I don't know, but it seems a little weird but my friend told me about what that girl said about me being 'weird' earlier..and I wanted to die afterwards..
is it weird she told me that..?
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Posted: Thu Oct 25, 2007 6:06 pm
Nikolita xd @ Undying Sorrow. Cute! I personally had no self-esteem growing up, and even when I had my first boyfriend (who is now my ex). I think in the almost 2 and a half years we dated, he never once told me I was beautiful. It was always "you look nice", and when I put myself down, it was "You look fine". That's it. neutral So I got no support from him, and my mom thought I was fat (though she never actually said it, just implied it), and then the media... so yeah. I've never actually had a healthy body image. I've always thought I was fat. What's made all the difference in the world is having a boyfriend who truly loves me, who thinks I'm sexy, and isn't afraid to tell me so. He puts up with me when I'm passive and beating up on myself, and he has kind things to say when I doubt myself. Nearly every time I see him, he tells me how much he loves me, and how he doesn't want me to change how I look (I want to tone a bit more and lose a few pounds, even though I'm on the lower end of the BMI for my age and weight), and so on. Having his support and his love means everything to me, and to this day I'm trying to improve my self-esteem and my confidence in order to be a better person for myself, and a better girlfriend for him. heart i think thats wut made the big difference in my life. i didnt think i was pretty ive always looked down on myself. i have an older sister who is simply GORGEOUS and stuff and i always felt so stupid and ugly and fat. well my boyfriend tells me like outta random [[in front of his friends]] that im beautiful and im ******** sexy and he loves me. and that has made so much difference in my life. just having that one person [[especially bcuz i care about him so much]] having him stick up for me and be there. it's amazing. i remember crying cuz these girls were being "nice to me" and they were such fakes and i over heard them and some boys talking s**t about me and i just broke down. and i remember my boyfriend lifting my chin up and kissing me, telling me how much he cared about me everyone else could go die. lol -sigh-
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Posted: Sat Nov 17, 2007 1:37 pm
[ .NK. ] That's incredibly sweet, and true, too. It;s sad how many girls think they're ugly just because of the media, just because of the shallow boys at their schools. I wouldn't say it's because of the media. Lindsey Lohan has probably never told anyone in this guild that they were ugly. But, how many people here have been called ugly or fat by "friends", classmates, family, boyfriends, etc.? A good deal of us have and that's where the real root of the problem is. Models do not make girls anorexic. When are the statistics that show how many anorexic girls have been called fat in their lives going to show up?
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Posted: Sat Nov 24, 2007 3:53 pm
Nikolita xd @ Undying Sorrow. Cute! I personally had no self-esteem growing up, and even when I had my first boyfriend (who is now my ex). I think in the almost 2 and a half years we dated, he never once told me I was beautiful. It was always "you look nice", and when I put myself down, it was "You look fine". That's it. neutral So I got no support from him, and my mom thought I was fat (though she never actually said it, just implied it), and then the media... so yeah. I've never actually had a healthy body image. I've always thought I was fat. What's made all the difference in the world is having a boyfriend who truly loves me, who thinks I'm sexy, and isn't afraid to tell me so. He puts up with me when I'm passive and beating up on myself, and he has kind things to say when I doubt myself. Nearly every time I see him, he tells me how much he loves me, and how he doesn't want me to change how I look (I want to tone a bit more and lose a few pounds, even though I'm on the lower end of the BMI for my age and weight), and so on. Having his support and his love means everything to me, and to this day I'm trying to improve my self-esteem and my confidence in order to be a better person for myself, and a better girlfriend for him. heart it was the same with me. my dad was always mad at me for not being the football god son he wanted, and my mom always wanted me smaller. I'm a big guy, and a lil heavier now than i want, but I'm fine with myself, bc I'm strong, and i have the support of all my friends
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Posted: Fri Oct 10, 2008 5:32 pm
i started like the way i am this year.
im proud of the way i look, and my self asteem has grown a lot.
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