Interview with Cressa!
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Good day, my lady. Thank you for taking time out to come and speak to us, um, pathetic slaves.
I always have time to speak about myself.
Er... right. Could you start by introducing yourself?
Certainly. My name is Creyassa del Torvirr, dalharil d'Ayuma, dalharil d'Iymalquin, dalharil de'Trielryn, dalharil de'Jhulfynn, dalharil de'Zhulvhyl, dalharil d'Yyasue.
That is a VERY long name...!
It is traditional for Matron Mothers and the daughter in line for the matriarchy to introduce themselves as such. I simply state my given name, my House and then the names of all the matriarchs before me in reverse chronological order.
Have you done that all your life?
No. I only came in line for the matriarchy in my teens. Adjusting to it was strange - now I enjoy reeling it off just to see the startled looks on the faces of you silly little pets.
But that isn't the name you go by now...
No - now I call myself Cressa Usyllt.* That doesn't stop me from aggrandising on special occassions such as this, however.
Okay, let's move on to questions from users! Panda of the Twilight asks "What kind of man do you find attractive?"
All men with a working c**k are fair game for me.
No preference whatsoever...?
I prefer a man who will not scream no matter how hard I press him. Human males tend to be much more squeamish and disobedient than the males at home, and therefore I do find myself being more choosy here on the surface. If I draw tears before the first button has been popped, I know I am wasting my time.
Metaburo Fanmaker wants to know "What was the most exquisite or delicious dish of food you ever had?"
For me, a meal is not made by what is eaten, but who it is eaten with. I remember faces - and other things - rather than dishes.
Nii Amikasame asks an obligatory question for a woman as, erm, as yourself; "Cup size?"
Double-eff.
Feline Godess has a few questions. She asks "What kind of woman do you find attractive?
Sex with women is a lot of pointless rolling around. I find no pleasure in attempting to make love to an equal.
"If you had one day left to live, what would you do?"
Ensure I went out with a bang... and took half the continent with me.
"Did you find stepping up to a leadership position challenging or a welcome challenge?
The matriarchy? My life actually became much easier in many respects. All my duties, except to look pretty, disappeared. While in waiting nothing was expected of me except to be beautiful and to go to parties as a representative of my family. Needless to say, I went above and beyond the call of duty.
"Just how inferior are all of us when compared to you?"
Not very, when I think about it. Old habits die hard, eh? Worthless little piglet.
iGrunny E M O has a basketful of questions too! "Prons?"
I have no use for them.
"Are you more of a chest, hips, a-s, or face lady?"
In my society, a prime mating specimen combines all four. I expect nothing less from my partners on the surface.
"The answer to life, the universe, and everything?"
I hardly see what this has to do with me.
"Does your milkshake bring all the boys to the yard?"
Ahahahaha. Yes. And then sends them all fleeing for their lives.
Storm Dawn follows suit with a handful. "Would there ever be a single man you would want to live out your life with?"
.........Ahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah!
You humans have such questionable customs.
"there is for anyone, but what would that man be?"
A drow, for certain. Don't get your hopes up.
"Do you condone your people, and their society?"
They have a good way of doing things. Pity it doesn't work.
"And if so, if you deny your lineage, Would you ever put it truly behind you?"
I'm not of the opinion that I have any reason to deny my lineage. And if I did, it would still take some pretty serious Glamour to allow me to forget about it completely.
But really, why would I want to hide what I am? I am beautiful through and through.
Panda of the Twilight has some super secret NINJA questions not posted in the Discussion thread! "Out of the Order, which man do you find to be the most interesting?"
The man I am most interested in is already out of the Order.
...Oh, you meant inside it. What a silly turn of phrase. I suppose bedding a god would be something new for me...
"How much training does your path need in order to suceed"
I am over a century old and have still barely scratched the potential of manipulating magical energy. Therefore I would say a lot more than a human could ever obtain in their lifetime.
"what's the most exotic place you've visited"
Zakhara, on my home world of Toril, has to be my favourite exotic place in all the realms.
Any particular reason?
I picked up a straggler there many years ago, and have never quite managed to shake him off. Ahahahahaha!
"your opinon on the sentinel"
Any woman who thinks she can take over the world needs to be taken down a peg. Who does she think she is, anyway? Stupid little creature. Looks like some sort of... half-elf. Ugh. How disgusting.
"do you need custom made bra's, or just forgo them"
I have a milennia's worth of gravity to contend with. I never remove my bra. Not unless my mate has proved himself sufficiently worthy.
Bapp Pogum has an inquiry. "Define 'a working c**k'."
One that goes up, stays up, and preferably doesn't go back down until I am quite done with it.
Nii Amikasame has a bunch of slightly reworded questions for you! "What's the least and most rewarding part of being a matriarch?"
I suppose I should point out that I left Menzoberranzen before ascending, my mother being the stubborn b***h about dying that she was. I would say from experience, however, that the most rewarding part of being a martriach is simply BEING a matriarch. The status is enough for most. I wouldn't say there is a LEAST rewarding part. We drow do not see intrigue and assassination attempts in the same way as you humans. They are simply an occupational hazard. That said, simply LIVING in the Underdark is an occupational hazard. Which is why the Underdark produces the best warriors around.
"Given the chance to become a demigod, would you pursue it? Why or why not?"
Oh, no! Most certainly not.
And why?
Well, let's see... I'm already near-immortal, extremely beautiful, powerful enough to wipe a country off the map in a single day, and I have legions of men desperate to fall on their knees before me. By every definition, I'm a demigod ALREADY! Ahahahahahaha!
"Is violence the answer?"
When seduction, persuasion and deception fail - then most certainly, violence is the answer.
"Which Gaian city fascinates you the most and why?"
They're all as bad as each other, to be perfectly honest. You think I look hard enough to notice all the subtle differences?
"What's the craziest thing anyone has ever done to win your affections?"
I'm afraid that romantic games are not how I do things. I command, they obey. I snap my fingers, they jump. That's how it works.
"Are you more inclined to use spells or engage in physical combat?"
Let's see... in my duel with Jessie I alternated between sword fighting, using my magic, and transforming into a gigantic spider as a last-ditch attempt at cornering the match. I knew things were going badly when all eight of my legs lay severed on the dusty ground.
On the one hand, that was a duel of exception. On the other, I was younger and therefore much more stupid than I am now. I believe that if we were to try again now I'd pace myself and make an attempt to combine the two. And... if all else failed... transform into something rather more nasty than a spider. Hehehehehe.
"How do you like your clams?"
Not at all. Blech. Sea food is disgusting.
"Do you sleep in the nude?"
I'm sorry to disappoint, but no. I am almost never entirely nude, except to bathe and sometimes to ******** color is your underwear?"
Black.
"Does size matter?"
Seven inches is my ideal, hehehehehe. However, I'll take anything that's particularly eye-catching.
Anon says "ur a blak hrted b1tch"
Oh my! That's adorable! I assure you, my blackness is only skin deep. Beneath that, I'm very pleasing and rather squishy shade of red. Mmmhmmhmm, hehehehe.
So can you tell us why exactly you hate Coline?
Hmph, you mean Jessie's little b***h. I no longer consider her worthy of my notice. Next question, rivvil.
Well, could you tell us what you DID think of her, then?
Sigh. Isn't it obvious that she is so absolutely one hundred percent not worthy of him that it absolutely boggles the mind she even registers as anything more than a speck of dust in his line of sight? When he told me he'd found a m'ranndii I was expecting someone beautiful, high-ranking - someone closer to his status, he looks, his wealth. I hate to see my little Jessie wasting some of his long existence on a frigid, depressive, useless little wormling with no mind of her own.
Whatever makes him happy, though, I suppose. All I know is that I'LL be the one having to clear up the pieces when his little project runs out of steam.
And Corie? Could you tell us how you managed to bind a black slaad - the ultimate embodiment of chaos - as your servant?
With much less difficulty than you'd imagine, actually. We simply hit it off.
...You say these things so convincingly, and yet I have absolutely no idea whether to take you seriously or not. iGrunny E M O has a few probing questions for you. "A question on your comment on the Sentinel; The way you described the Sentinel, "Woman trying to take over the world, blah" Sounds more like you than her to me. Maybe you don't like competition?"
Ahahaha. Mm, little morsel, you know not the number of times I have jumped to defend my homelands from a woman such as the Sentinel. I was off saving the world before your great-grandmother's ovaries fully formed. I'm what you might call a Byronic hero, mmmhmmhmmhehehehe.
"Why are you so ruthless with you commentary? Have you ever though that if you say something sweet, even whilst cursing the person in your head endlessly, you might be better received? Is you attitude truly so, or is it as it is because of a deep seated emotion feeling of insuperiority? Are you actually over compensating? It truly seems that way."
Ahh, we have a budding psychologist, or perhaps a pretty baby girly on her first period.
You are making an assumption that disregards some of my previous statements in deciding that I would curse a wormling in my head if not cursing him outside of it. I feel no general dislike or liking either way to most of the people I meet, and I am well-received wherever I go. In addition, I am beautiful, noble, powerful, wealthy and adored. I have nothing to feel insuperior about. Though of course, whether you believe that or not is down to you. A little piece of advice humans like to spout to themselves is to never trust a drow. Hehehehe.
I'll finish off with a piece of advice of my own - "the foolish and the unwary find waiting death."
...What's that supposed to mean?
"The only cure for stupidity is death." Or, alternatively, "Stupidity should be rewarded with death." That one has two translations.
...Ookay... you drow are happy little souls, aren't you?
"Hope is the denial of reality."
These are pretty... insightful, actually. Got any more?
"Trust is for the foolish and the dead."
If you'd like, I could recite you a little of Ryld's "Dirge on the Death of a Matron."
Go ahead!
I find this one particularly appropriate because some kind rivvil along the way produced a very lyrical translation, which I found incredibly amusing in its accuracy.
"Vel'uss ajak in'ahalii lac whol,
Lil aster de lil statha nindol.
Nindol ujool xukuth zuch orn beldro
Biu drokk vholk ulu hojh.
Z'klaen ori'gato l'olath inthuul,
lil Dalharen d'Ilythiir, wu'suul
Xor velg'larn elg'ilta'ulu'cahl
Nuw wun kyilen al'doer ril yutri dal."
And the translation...
"Remember, those who seek for fame,
The moral of this tale.
A heart of glass will always cause
An iron fist to fail.
A drow must let the icy dark
Infect her to the core
Or welcome in impaling darts
From every smiling jaw."
Ironically, that insightful verse led to the bard's execution. The Matron's family were displeased with his insinuation of their weakness. Ehehehehe. Pity. I believe he is a favourite of Jessie's, too.
I must say, your language is extremely beautiful when spoken...
Thank you. Unfortunately, very few Ilythiiri ballads are available on the surface. Not only are my kind unwelcoming to outsiders, but drow poetry is basically unintelligible if you attempt a literal translation. Let's see... the last two lines of those verses -
"Xor velg'larn elg'ilta'ulu'cahl
Nuw wun kyilen al'doer ril yutri dal."
May literally be translated as -
"Or assassin poison her to
Mouth in darts welcome every smart from."
...I think the human translator did a good job, all things considered.
Grunny's back... with a few rebuttals. "Adored? I doubt someone with such an attitude as yours could truly be adored. Feared maybe, by those who are weak. If you are so 'superior', why bother to answer?"
I'm not so up my own behind that I can't answer a simple question or twelve. What kind of monster do you think I am? Hehehehe...
"Your age is starting to show in your looks. Do you really care?"
...Have you SEEN me? Have you gazed upon my visage, pretty mortal morsel? Did my beauty, perhaps, blind you?
Mhmhmhmhaha. Try another one.
So could you tell us why you threw the locket into the storm?
It all seemed so unfair. I was jealous.
Of what? Surely you can't expect him to give you gifts like that when you're not together?
He knows I like presents, and yet he has never given me any. ;___;
Woah, okay, don't make that face at me...
;_______;
Okay, time to change the subject... your race is a very, erm, sexual one, if you don't mind me saying so...
We are neither more nor less sexual than humans. We are simply more open about our intentions; our desires, our fetishes and our lusts. Isn't that ironic? Hehehehe.
So both you and Jessie are from Llolthian cities. Is there really is no such thing as marriage?
Well, some places have Bonding ceremonies... but that's not a marriage as you rivven would understand. It's more like a Matron asserting her ultimate dominance and ownership over a male. These males must be the most beautiful, the most valuable... the most beneficial to keep around. I myself never knew a Bonded male amongst the Houses in Menzoberranzen, but I know in some places they're kept like living treasures and prizes to be jealously guarded, but also flaunted. Wars have been started over the assassination of a Bonded male. They're not to be trifled with.
Do you travel much? What's your attitude to the non-Llolth worshipping cities?
I should state that there are only one or two gods outside of Llolth's sphere of influence - Eilistraee, for example. As a rule, no, most drow do not travel. The vast majority of commoners never see the caverns outside the city walls. We matriarchs sometimes travel for delegation purposes, or to lead our forces into a particularly important battle. Travelling is limited to the merchants, messengers, and drow who wish to run away. Those who run away become rogues. They do not belong anywhere anymore. You wouldn't believe it, but belonging is of vital importance to us. Without it, there is no survival. "To walk apart from House and Queen is to walk into the grave."
We lead very insular existences. Drow cities do not normally war amongst themselves; not even for religious purposes. In fact, they leave each other very well alone. Most warring is done inside the cities, amongst the Houses of that particular city. Battles outside are those that occur for the territory of the other races. Little conflicts over, for example, a cavern rich in ore are happening all the time. In a sense, a drow city may be continuously in many small wars. These do not affect the city itself and only those involved are even aware of the conflict.
Sounds rather complex...
Our society is well known to be chaotic. There are so many small circles of power, you see, all brushing up against each other. There IS a ranking system of Houses, but it in itself is also chaotic and changeable. There is no governing body. There are no laws except those which have been passed down through the ages - for example, the murder of a pregnant woman is a capital offense. Everyone knows that. Llolth has no doctrines as such. Her sole concern is KEEPING the system as chaotic as it is. She is a cruel goddess - the Goddess of Intricacy and Deception - who pits her followers against one another. Some say she is insane... and indeed, the insane hold a prophet-like status within our society. So perhaps it is true. I would not know. I have never met the woman.
This is all VERY complex. I'm glad I've had the opportunity to interview both of our resident drow. We'd never cover everything in a single one... I wonder if we'd cover everything in ten. But wait, you say the insane hold a position of reverence?
Specifically, those who have been driven mad through their dreams. These are said to have been touched by the Goddess herself. I and Jessie agree, however, that it could happen to anyone. We drow have very vivid dreams. Much more vivid and terrifying than reality itself.
You face off against one another in a neverending struggle, and yet require each other to survive...
Indeed. Our society is full of such contradictions. Most things have a dual-sided nature to them. A jeweller may grow famous for the standard of his work, and then have all his stock confiscated by a high priestess in the name of the Goddess, and be ruined as such as a direct result of his growing renown. Such is the nature of Llolth. A world without ironic suffering is not one for her.
I read that she is in fact a demoness, not a true goddess.
You might be executed for saying as much. The concept of a false god is much stronger on the surface than under the ground - there, there is a much finer line between "demon" and "god". People in the Underdark worship all sorts - dragons, liches, devils, spirits that dwell in the mud. It is only when crusaders from above come barging in and laying down their own moral codes that it becomes a problem. At the end of the day, isn't a god just a creature with the power to call herself so? The history of Toril is littered with gods who have been overthrown. Are they really any different to the rest of us? Are they not just those who have enough power to inspire awe and reverence? Once again, by that standard I should be calling myself a god, hehehe.
But you must agree that these gods are evil.
I cannot disagree with that: you are correct.
Then how do you feel about the human interpretation of the Underdark as a world full of hated monsters? Do you agree with that?
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When it comes to people... it is not a simple case of "good" or "evil." We have the capacity for good and evil just as humans do. There are many good people who never have the opportunity to be themselves due to circumstance. There are many evil people who nonetheless hold high status. Can a person who does evil things not be good nonetheless? Can I not do a mix of both and have them balance out? Are good and evil even quantifiable? Can something that is good to one person not be evil to another?
I understand that the surfacers fear the darkness. I understand that they perceive us as a threat. I also understand that if they were to wage a campaign against us, most of the people they'd be killing are ordinary; just like them; just trying to scrape out an existence. We drow have very little choice in what we become, and what we do. Our lives are hard, and meant to induce suffering. I believe that everyone should think twice before condemning an entire race.
But isn't condemning entire races what drow are best at?
...Hahahahaha. Now you're keeping up, little worm.
Thank you very much for your time. That was Cressa, Ilharess de'Qu'ellar del Torvirr, giving us some insight into herself and the conflicting world she heralds from.
Stay tuned for more fascinating discussions!
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* Pronounced Ees-ell.
Interview Concluded: Sunday 24th January 2010!
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* Pronounced Ees-ell.
Interview Concluded: Sunday 24th January 2010!
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