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 Posted: Fri Nov 13, 2009 3:32 pm
Akuma's eyes shined. "Thank you sensei." Akuma was thankful that most of his face was covered. He turned bright red whee . Akuma waited for the next class. Where did Rashir go?
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Posted: Fri Nov 13, 2009 3:59 pm
White Water Lilly {Okay than, sorry about the late notice. I know that you've already began rping in some areas.} Haruko smiled, "Alright then, while Kenji-san continues to look over your profiles, lets move on to the next lesson." Haruko walks over to the chalkboards aligned against the front wall and picks up a piece of chalk. She then proceeded to write something on two different boards. On one board it said 'Akuma had just finished training at the training grounds for the day and had decided to go for a walk. He exited out to the wilderness and suddenly found himself being followed.'And on the one next to it, 'Rashir was taking a stroll towards the barrier river when up ahead he heard a voice calling for help. "Help! My brother fell into the river and I can't get him out! Please help me! He can't swim, if he stays there any longer, he'll drown!"Haruko places down the chalk and turned to face her students, "Alright, come up, grab a piece of chalk and write down your reply to the situation I've written up for you. For this lesson, I'll be testing you two on your response and writing styles."{Remember that this guild is a semi-literate to full literate rp guild when coming up with your response. Good luck! smile } (i have changed my profile so you know my powers now) rashir walked up to the board grabbed the chalk and wrote so: i ran down to the boy in the river, the water was flowing too fast to get in and save him. id have to use my jutsu to get him out. i do a combination of handsigns and part the water. id tell the boy to hurry up and get out of the river because it takes alot of chakra to get the water the way it is. when the boy got out of the water, id put it back to normal and everyone could carry on with their lives, after i tell the kids to not play by the river of course. (oh and sorry for before i had to give my mom the cpu)
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Posted: Fri Nov 13, 2009 4:20 pm
Haruko sighs and gives Rashir a small smile, "Well, this is a good start but rp responses should be done in third person and not in first. Also try to not forget about you're captials, you should also try not to state things like 'I tell the kids to not play by the river of course'. Anyways I think the main problem here is you writing up your response in third person. Here," Haruko grabs an eraser and erases his reply, "Try again, but this time write your response down in third person." Haruko then stepped back for Rashir to have asses to the board once more.
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Posted: Fri Nov 13, 2009 4:24 pm
Rashir walked up to the board grabbed the chalk and wrote so: Rashir ran down to the boy in the river, the water was flowing too fast to get in and save him. He had to use his jutsu to get him out. Rashir did a combination of handsigns and part the water. Rashir told the boy to hurry up and get out of the river because it takes alot of chakra to get the water the way it is. When the boy got out of the water, he'd put it back to normal and everyone could carry on with their lives, after he told the kids to not play by the river of course.
(i somewhat had it 3rd person because thats what rashir would have wrote but okay)
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Posted: Fri Nov 13, 2009 4:42 pm
Haruko once again walked up to the board and looked over his response.
"Lets see," Haruko grabbed a different colored chalk and began correcting several mistakes that she noticed.
Rashir ran down to the boy in the river, the water was flowing too fast to get in and save him. He had to use his jutsu to get him out. Rashir did a combination of handsigns and parted the water. Rashir told the boy to hurry up and get out of the river because it takes alot of chakra to get the water the way it is. (When the boy got out of the water, he'd put it back to normal and everyone could carry on with their lives, after he told the kids to not play by the river of course.)
Stepping back, Haruko turned to face Rashir, "Well, what's written in red has eithered been altered or has a problem. I've changed part to parted (proper grammer) and the last part is in brackets because the wording is kinda confusing. It took me a few tries to understand what you were trying to say there."
{sorry if this seems kinda annoying but its madatory and you just have to watch your wording a bit that's all.}
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Posted: Fri Nov 13, 2009 4:45 pm
White Water Lilly Haruko once again walked up to the board and looked over his response. "Lets see," Haruko grabbed a different colored chalk and began correcting several mistakes that she noticed. Rashir ran down to the boy in the river, the water was flowing too fast to get in and save him. He had to use his jutsu to get him out. Rashir did a combination of handsigns and parted the water. Rashir told the boy to hurry up and get out of the river because it takes alot of chakra to get the water the way it is. (When the boy got out of the water, Rashir would put it back to normal and everyone could carry on with their lives, after he told the kids to not play by the river of course.) Stepping back, Haruko turned to face Rashir, "Well, what's written in red has eithered been altered or has a problem. I've changed part to parted (proper grammer) and the last part is in brackets because the wording is kinda confusing. It took me a few tries to understand what you were trying to say there."{sorry if this seems kinda annoying but its madatory and you just have to watch your wording a bit that's all.} better?
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Posted: Fri Nov 13, 2009 5:36 pm
"The ending is still a bit confusing but it'll do. Now then, lets move on, so tell me guys, what are you abilities? Is there an element you guys specialize in? or do you have some sort or amazing kekkei genkai ability that you could share with us? Anyways, we would like to know about your strengths and weakness so that we can see what it is that we can help you guys improve on."
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Posted: Fri Nov 13, 2009 5:47 pm
"My abilities," Rashir says to his sensei, "are pretty much water and earth control. I dont use earth much but I will when I have to. My clan has no kekkai genkai but I have found out that someone from Akuma'a clan went over to my clan and passed on the kekkai genkai to me." Rashir continued,"the kekkai genkai of the Washi clan is the power of the eagle. Eagle like wings can grow from both of our backs." He says jokingly to his friend,"Hey Akuma, that makes us cousins!" mrgreen
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Posted: Fri Nov 13, 2009 6:23 pm
"oh and i forgot one of my abilities" rashir says surprised he didnt say it before,"i can make a trident from the water and make it solid but it takes alot of chakra so i dont use it that much"
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Posted: Fri Nov 13, 2009 6:31 pm
Haruko stood by the chalkboard listening intently to what Rashir had to say about his ablilities, "Impressive Rashir-san, I can't wait to see this ability of yours in action." She then turned around to face Akuma, "Well, how about you Akuma-san? Any abilities worth mentioning to the class?"
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Posted: Fri Nov 13, 2009 6:34 pm
"I think he might be "asleep" if you know what I mean" Rashir says to his sensei.
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Posted: Fri Nov 13, 2009 9:13 pm
Kenji nodded at the revisions and edits that Rashir had made to his profile, but still noted several things that could be done to make it better, marking them in red on his profile before handing it back to him...
"Alright, well here's what I see. First off, you need to capitalize. The letter 'i' should ALWAYS be capitalized when it is used in reference to yourself. There are many instances where this is not done. Aside from that, your backstory is alright, but could use a little work with phrasing. Here, I'll show you how I would write it..." Kenji then handed the profile back to Rashir, which had some writing on it...
Original
Bio: rashir came from a non-ninja family realizing he can use jutsu unlike other non-ninja families and enrolled into the ninja academy
powers:can use the power of the eagle because one of akuma's rrelatives married one of mine a while back and passed th bloodline to me. also can control water and earth, mostly water though, i can form water into ice making an ice trident which uses alot of my chakra so i only do it in dangerous situations
Corrected
Biography : Rashir came from a family which had no ninja abilities, though he soon realized that he was able to able to mold chakra and perform ninjutsu techniques, and so, he enrolled in the ninja academy. As it turned out, Rashir was not only able to use ninjutsu, but he also had a Kekkai Genkai, which allowed him to use the Power of the Eagle, very similar to his friend Akuma. After some research, he learned that one of Akuma's relatives married his relative nad that the bloodline had been passed down threw the generations, though only he had awakened the latent power.
Elements Used / Powers : Water and Earth (mostly water though)
Rashir can also form water into ice to make an ice trident. this technique requires a lot of chakra however, so it is only used in particularly dangerous situations.
Kenji waited to see that Rashir was done reading before looking at him to see if he was understanding the differences..."Can you see the difference between mine and yours?"
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Posted: Sat Nov 14, 2009 8:32 am
"Yes i can, sensei. Would it be okay for me use what you said in my bio?" Rashir asked his teacher.
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Posted: Sat Nov 14, 2009 12:45 pm
Akuma looked at his teacher. "Well like Rashir said, my clan has the power of the eagle. Chakara wings form and it allows me to fly but only for a short period of time. Another move or ability is the eagle shield. When I am being attacked and my power of the eagle is up, the wings wrap around me and protects my body from harm. Its duration is limited but it usually depends on how passionate I am to winning or if it concerns my life. My father made that move for me. Along with the power of the eagle. But I guess it has been altered for others to use. Its just not as powerful as mine is."
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