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 Posted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 10:34 am
punkanimefreec how long can our short story be? and can we take it from an rp? The short stories cannot be complete novels. It has to be a considerable length to get your main ideas across, but yet be short enough so that it doesn't take hours to read. Elysia hasn't really said how long is TOO long yet. I would say maybe in between 5-10 paragraphs, would be good. Maybe a little bit more.
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Posted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 1:28 pm
S H O R T S T O R Y # 1
On the Outside Looking In
Carnivals and fairs are places of entertainment and enjoyment for children and adults. There are performers, dancers, singers, games, prizes, food, and of course the ‘freak show.’ No fair or carnival is complete without one. People flock to them to be amazed, frightened, and pleased. They also go to mock at the performers’ abilities.
“Step right up! Come on inside! See the freaks of nature! The Bearded Lady, The Contortionist, and the Living Corpse!”
I took one hesitating step foreword. I had heard of ‘freak shows’ and I was horrified by the thought of the treatment of these men and women, but my burning curiosity was eating me from the inside. I wanted to see. There was some revolting part of me that found these ‘freaks of nature’ amusing. There is something that fascinates people about the ability to stare at someone without being yelled at or scolded. I can’t explain it, but suddenly I felt myself moving towards the tent. It’s brightly painted pictures and banners swirling through my mind.
I paid the small fee of 75 cents as I pushed my way through the heavy curtains into the dimly lit tent to be met with the booming voice of an announcer.
“The man who breathes fire!”
The bright light made me back away in strange fascination. The fire reached towards the ceiling almost threatening to set it on fire before it was extinguished. It was amazing, yet I wanted something more.
My gaze turned to a contortionist. She was able to shape herself into a ball and bend her body in strange ways. It was hypnotizing to watch her do cartwheels and back-flips without any body part ever leaving the ground.
I walked on though the gasps of surprise and awe. Maybe it was only me, but I could see every feature of the faces of the performers. They were expressionless, as if nothing fazed them though they were doing things that any normal human was incapable of. I looked at the straw and dirt beneath my feet and the torn and unclean clothing that the performers wore. They should be praised for their abilities, not made to perform against their will. Just because their different doesn’t mean that they aren’t like everyone else on the inside.
Suddenly I turned my head as a large amount of the crowd was flocking towards a nearby doorway. A banner with red paint that was made to look like blood spelled out the words ‘The Living Corpse.’ I turned away in disgust my mind flowing to thoughts of zombies and skeletons. Unhappily I found that the eager crowd had other ideas in their mind and I was being pushed towards the doorway against my will. I fought to shove my way out, but finally I gave up. It wasn’t worth the time trying to fight, so I let them take me into the smaller room.
All I could see from my vantage point was a large metal cage that took up space in the middle of the room. I could only see the neck and head of the announcer as I was shorter than most of the people there. I could hear people laughing and joking until I saw the man bend down and pull up his hand. Grasped in his hand was a crudely made cloth mask. His triumphant look made me cringe back in disappointment. Suddenly the group fell silent until one woman screamed and fainted, or at least I thought that was what happened as I only heard the thud of her body hitting the ground. The others gasped or shouted out. A few of them laughed and pointed at the cage, but many of the people moved along as quickly as they had come. As the crowd thinned I was able to make my way towards the metal bars of the cage. My hand touched the cool metal as I pulled myself forward.
My mouth opened wide in horror as I saw him staring in my direction. I immediately shut my mouth and the look on my face was replaced by one of pain and pity. The boy was my age or younger, only eleven or twelve. His face, my God, his face. I have seen deformities before, but this was nothing that I had ever witnessed. The label that had been plastered on him was horribly true. He looked of death itself. Almost the entire skull was exposed beneath a thin layer of skin riddled with bluish veins. His eyes were sunken and mismatched, his nose was nothing but a gaping hole and his lips were grossly malformed. He was far from perfect. I stepped back. Nothing had prepared me for this. My mind couldn’t even comprehend it. The boy reached out through the hay that he was sitting in and grasped the cloth mask that the man had dropped there. He slipped it over his head and backed away to the corner of the cage, as far away from me as possible. I opened my mouth to speak, but nothing came out. His cool golden eyes burned with hatred that wasn’t dulled by the absence of his face. I could only stand and stare into them fascinated by the boundless emotion that lied in those golden pools. Finally, I was able to turn away. When I did I noticed that the boy and I were the only two in the room. I had a sudden urge to run, to run as fast as I could to get away from this dark room that seemed to be closing in on me.
I took one glance back to find him watching me before I hurried from the room leaping thankfully into the warm light of the sun. The sounds of the fair were bright and joyful as children chased each other in circles while concerned mothers watched them carefully. I tried to let myself slip back into ignorant bliss, but I couldn’t stop trying to imagine and understand his life behind those bars with so many on the outside looking in at him, screaming or laughing. I tried to imagine the hatred that I saw in his eyes, but the thoughts only tore at me and I had to forget it all. I had to at least try and forget everything I saw and slip back into childish ignorance.
{Written for an English project...I am very proud of this one! <3}
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Posted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 1:53 pm
BockiBear punkanimefreec how long can our short story be? and can we take it from an rp? The short stories cannot be complete novels. It has to be a considerable length to get your main ideas across, but yet be short enough so that it doesn't take hours to read. Elysia hasn't really said how long is TOO long yet. I would say maybe in between 5-10 paragraphs, would be good. Maybe a little bit more. ...paragraphs? .... hmm....
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Posted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 2:47 pm
Short Story #1
An Evening to Dies For
Sidney Idat casually strode up to the door of his girlfriend’s place and rung the doorbell. He leaned in as he heard rapid pattering approaching the door. The large hickory door opened and a petit, shapely, mocha-skinned girl stood there looking at him with large grey eyes. A smiled spread across the girl’s face as she sprang forward, attaching herself to the man and giggling happily.
“Sidney, I’ve missed you,” the girl whispered as the tall brunette embraced his love.
“What are ya talkin’ ‘bout Akina?” he chuckled. “We just saw each other this morning’!”
“Hush, don’t ruin the moment, idiot,” Akina Tsukamoto sighed hugging him tightly.
The blue-eyed man looked down at Akina and smiled. “I thought I told you to be completely dressed when I came to get you,” Sidney scolded playfully.
The girl rolled her eyes and swatted at him humorously. She invited him inside and scurried into her room to retrieve her shoes, which were the only things missing. Akina shut off the lights to her apartment and headed back to the door where she’d left Sidney standing.
“Where are you taking me tonight?” she asked him with a grin.
“Nowhere special,” he replied nonchalantly.
“Oh? And where is this ‘nowhere special’ this time?” she smiled stepping out of the apartment and immediately becoming breathless. “Y-you got a…”
“Happy Valentine’s Day, Akina,” he whispered sweetly taking her hand and leading her to a champagne colored horse-drawn carriage.
“How much did this cost you Sid?” she asked with a slight look of worry.
“Don’t worry about it,” he reassured her with a quick kiss. “You know I’ll spare no expense to keep you happy.”
“But you didn’t have t- mmph!” she was silenced in the middle of her protest by another swift kiss.
“I got a bonus from my last project,” the man smiled, his sapphire blue eyes glowing in the light of the fluorescent street lamp. “But tonight is all about you, Akina Tsukamoto.”
Akina’s eyes began to water in happiness and in sorrow. She didn’t know which poor Joe lost his life at Sidney’s expert hand, but if it paid for something as extravagant as this, his head had to have been worth a great deal. She knew contract killers made a lot of money and something like this wouldn’t even make him break a sweat, but she also knew that their evening would be much more expensive.
It's not that long, but I hope you get the gist of the story (this was kinda random, but I just may elaborate on it). sweatdrop I'll be back with a better entry.
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Posted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 2:54 pm
Minyaagar gonk Most of my poems are up on deviantart...so I guess I can't use them. Darn. I guess I'll have to try and write something new. Same for my stories...though none of them are ever short. *sigh* I guess I'd better get to writing some stuff to enter.
Is there any way you can establish a concrete connection between your DeviantArt site & your Gaia username?
For example, you do avatar art, no? If your DeviantArt site contains some of your avatar art as well as your poetry, & you can prove that the avatar art is yours, then I'll allow you to submit any poetry that's on your DeviantArt site.
I guess that's the same with everyone. If they can establish a concrete connection between their Gaia user name & any of their writing on any other website [without revealing personal info & breaking gaia tos, of course], then they can enter that writing into the contest.
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Posted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 3:03 pm
BockiBear punkanimefreec how long can our short story be? and can we take it from an rp? The short stories cannot be complete novels. It has to be a considerable length to get your main ideas across, but yet be short enough so that it doesn't take hours to read. Elysia hasn't really said how long is TOO long yet. I would say maybe in between 5-10 paragraphs, would be good. Maybe a little bit more. 
Bocki -- I totally trust your judgment [ms. english major!] , & you definitely seem to have taken on the role of like the "head short story judge" [which is a good thing!] , I'm giving you the authority to decide how long is too long regarding short stories.
If you can somehow establish a number of words or sentences or something that you believe should be the limit, just PM me & tell me, & I'll edit the main post accordingly.
If you'd like to simply leave the length limit up to common sense & notify people that their short story isn't short enough if you feel that they've really overstepped the implied boundries, you can do that, too 3nodding
&, yes, if a length limit is established, I'd like to do it in terms of words or sentences instead of paragraphs, since I don't trust people not to type like 20 sentence paragraphs.
Measuring how many words or sentences a piece of writing contains is totally easy, thanks to the "Word count " feature on Microsoft Word :3
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Posted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 3:34 pm
BockiBear IvyStarling ^^ This sounds fun... if you've already posted a story on your Gaia Journal, can you just take a chapter out of that and label it as a "short story"? Or does that not count? I don't see a problem with that. It just has to be your own work. Just make sure it isn't way, way long. ^.^ There are some really good writers out there. I'm anxious to see everyone's work. Okay ^^ Thanks biggrin
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Posted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 4:50 pm
elysia x BockiBear punkanimefreec how long can our short story be? and can we take it from an rp? The short stories cannot be complete novels. It has to be a considerable length to get your main ideas across, but yet be short enough so that it doesn't take hours to read. Elysia hasn't really said how long is TOO long yet. I would say maybe in between 5-10 paragraphs, would be good. Maybe a little bit more.
Bocki -- I totally trust your judgment [ms. english major!] , & you definitely seem to have taken on the role of like the "head short story judge" [which is a good thing!] , I'm giving you the authority to decide how long is too long regarding short stories.
If you can somehow establish a number of words or sentences or something that you believe should be the limit, just PM me & tell me, & I'll edit the main post accordingly.
If you'd like to simply leave the length limit up to common sense & notify people that their short story isn't short enough if you feel that they've really overstepped the implied boundries, you can do that, too 3nodding
&, yes, if a length limit is established, I'd like to do it in terms of words or sentences instead of paragraphs, since I don't trust people not to type like 20 sentence paragraphs.
Measuring how many words or sentences a piece of writing contains is totally easy, thanks to the "Word count " feature on Microsoft Word :3
I didn't mean to kinda take position as lead judge. >.> <.< But oki. I'll experiment and decide how long. I understand the paragraph thing though. I'll try to narrow it down and let you know. ^.^ Thanks a bunch!
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Posted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 5:39 pm
Wow, a lot of good poems and stories have been posted since I last checked.
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Posted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 6:29 pm
||Is this too long? cuz u've been talking about lengths^ anyway, wrote this one in 5th grade. I used as my greek mythology story.||
Short story Why love is cliché, the true story of Icarus. By : The Subtle Lord
Call Me Hope
Icarus was caged, like an animal. It was all Apollo’s fault. That man and his chariot burned these wings of wax into his back. Icarus shook his cage, the bars were cast iron, there were three locks on it, the locks were made of copper, silver and gold. The three locks each had their own inscriptions, each time Icarus tried to read what they said, he became dizzy and light-headed. He needed someone to help him, someone to free him. In all his 14 years he had never been this desperate. He had just watched his father sacrifice his life to give Icarus his own back. Icarus was mad at himself, furious.
His mind was mixed in though, some of which was jumbled garbage and other thoughts weren’t completed. He watched as a sliver of light leaked through a door. And for the first time, he could see where he was. First of all, he was in a birdcage. The walls were made of grey stone bricks and had mold growing out of parts of them. What was worse was that Icarus was over a bottomless pit with a lone ledge coming over to the cage. The blackness seemed endless. He gathered the one drop of spit he had left and attempted to spit out of the cage end. Unfortunately, the spit wasn’t enough too even make it off his lips cracked; now bleeding lips. It ran down his chin and onto his shirt.
His mangy black hair had been left uncut and was now twisted in knots and covered with sweat and grease. His wax wings were motionless on his back and his green eyes had been keen in the dark. His pale skin tone was a result of lack of sunlight and his weak physic had always been that way. His nails were chipped and bleeding while his bare feet were covered in scabs and scars.
He heard footsteps and voices from the hallway. He shielded his eyes as he attempted to look through the door, being blinded by the light. His eyes slowly adapted to the light he hadn’t seen in four days.
“ Help me” He whispered in his raspy voice through his cracked lips.
***
Down the hall was a 14 year old girl. She heard the cries for help from Icarus. This girl was none other than Lord Apollo’s daughter. Her name was Annika. She had thought she heard something. A voice. Maybe I’ve finally gone insane. Annika thought, brushing her blonde hair from her eyes. Her eyes were pure white, an annoying part of being a demigod.
She slowly creaked open the door that was usually locked. Auntie Artemis would probably have her grounded for an eternity if she found out, but Annika continued to open the door. She saw the most amazing creature she had ever seen. It was hanging in a birdcage, and the boy was cringing away from the light, his wings were smoother than any birds she had ever seen. But how did he get here without her ever noticing?
“Hello.” She whispered. Walking out on the ledge, she began to fumble with the locks on the cage.
***
Icarus heard her voice, it was like bells. It clearly and crisply struck through his ears. The voice of an angel. He thought. He wanted out, but if Apollo caught him, he would be stuck back in his cage. Or worse. He looked at the girl, who without a word was already trying to free him.
“It’s useless,” Icarus said to the girl who was fumbling around with the locks.
“ Maybe for you it is,” She said, yanking and twisting the copper lock. She pulled, and pulled. Icarus could see the strain in her eyes right before the lock snapped. She broke the lock I had been trying at for days. He thought as he looked on in total awe.
“I’m I-I-I-Icarus” Icarus said weakly, his hand shook as he stuck it weakly through the cage bars.
“Annika” The girl said, gently holding Icarus’s bony hand, as if she were going to break it.
She continued to pull at the silver lock, shattering it easier than the last one. Icarus watched in awe as she did this. She grabbed the gold lock, and began pulling. The lock wasn’t going to open. She tugged at it, and as she did, cracks began to appear. The cracks slowly began to touch each other. It was then the lock shattered and the chains fell as Annika opened the cage door.
“Your free, Icarus. Soar with the wind.” She said as weakly walked out of the cage. He took not even one step out the manor before Apollo was at his side. Icarus ignored him, the man could not harm him any further.
“ You have walked into my house a boy, you are leaving as a thief.” Apollo said, his voice thundering on with the sun’s fury. “ You have stolen the heart of my daughter, and you shall pay the price.” Apollo’s voice boomed with laughter as he slumped Icarus over his shoulder like a sack of rice before walking. They walked for days and nights. Icarus was aroused when they reached a stone chamber. Inside was a pedestal and a stone globe on it.
“ This is your punishment, you must hold the weight of the world forever. If it drops, everyone shall die, including you.” Apollo said, lifting the stone globe with one hand. He placed Icarus in the middle of the stone chamber and dropped the stone globe on his back. Apollo made it seem light. The globe weighed about one hundred forty seven tones.
Icarus stood in silence, his wings of wax were helping him hold the globe. His hair slowly became grey with strain. His sight blurred red and his ankles were slowly petrified. He could feel himself being turned to stone, he watched the wax, somehow never decaying or rotting , turn to stone with him. Icarus stood in his tomb, waiting for the day his head would become petrified too. Icarus still held the stone globe, his body became bent into that shape forever now as Icarus became immortalized in stone.
And Icarus’s last thoughts were This is my home, This is my tomb.
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Posted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 7:19 pm
Poem 1st Entry Note: My poems aren't posted on gaia but on this website. http://www.bebo.com/alustrialspoetryI hope that it's enough to prove that it is my work. sweatdrop Dream
A place where butterflies and flowers are many colors to be;
a place where men don't lie and do laugh with glee.
A place where the water's clear and sunsets are always there to see;
a place so peaceful and yet you pay no fee.
A place I have to keep locked up with only one key;
so that no one can get in and destroy a dream only for me.
A place where princesses are saved by a knight;
a place where no man has fear or spite.
A place where there is always light;
a place where the moon is always lit in the darkest of night.
A place I have to keep locked up tight;
that even a guardian has to protect it with all it's might.
a place I keep away from everyone even if it's not right;
for this dream is mine and I won't let it go without a fight.A place where I find my lover, children, and more;
a place where my lover will die for me for I’m the one he adores.
A place where you get no cuts, blisters, or sores;
a place where no man's soul could have tore.
A place I keep locked up deep within my inner core;
for no one will know my dreams, not the righteous or the poor.
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Posted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 7:30 pm
Poem
2nd Entry
Truth
There's a young lady I'll tell you about;
she's not known to whine or pout.
She has a soul that flares;
and eyes like winding stairs.
Purity and justice is what she seeks;
and covered up lies makes her weak.
No one can quiet her down;
not until she's known 'round town.
Friendly things she'll tell;
but she says harsh things as well.
No matter how hard they cover up what she'll see;
Shining through will always be she.
I have one question. My possible last entry has 67 lines and I haven't posted it on any websites. Is it alright to enter it?
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Posted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 7:32 pm
It's enough. Barely enough, but enough. Both user names have the word "alustrial", & the bebo profile & your gaia profile are similar enough to prove that the work is yours :3
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Posted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 7:35 pm
elysia x It's enough. Barely enough, but enough. Both user names have the word "alustrial", & the bebo profile & your gaia profile are similar enough to prove that the work is yours :3 Thank you. biggrin
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Posted: Fri Feb 06, 2009 12:54 am
Are you the dream...
Poetry
Bittersweet Fantasy
by Lyris Mendax
I feel a shiver when you cover me
as you touch places
that should be out of reach
I hide my awe as I look upon you
while you rest in your pristine natural state
I find myself marveling at your delicacy
giving in when challenged by your strength
With eyes closed I enjoy your taste
smiling as it rolls over my tongue
savoring that crisp feeling it leaves in my mouth
sometimes sadden when I can have no more
I have come to love and hate what you are
the calmness you bring, the ugliness you hide
When you are here, I long for you to go
when you are gone, I wish for your return
What a wonder you are ..freshly fallen snow.
Submitted to the arena's on 12/15/2008 under this user name.Bittersweet Fantasy ...or the dreamer?
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