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 Posted: Mon Jan 05, 2009 1:13 pm
"He's out looking for Alice? What happened to her now? Hasn't that bimbo figured out that following any four-legged furry animal into a hole could lead her into a world of confusion and rather charming gentleman as ourselves?" Hatter inhaled deeply as the words choked his breath and he held his cup out for more tea. White had always scared the poor Guard and it was all he could do to keep from flinching at the name of said rabbit. "I do hope she is found...that way i can teach her the lesson I stated earlier. Maybe cutting her legs off so she can't follow? No, then she'd crawl instead of walk, but maybe if I--"
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Posted: Mon Jan 05, 2009 1:20 pm
Marche's look soured slightly, and he poured Hatter more tea.
"Now, now, Hat. I think she's a quite nice young lady, if you get past her occasional rudeness and the fact that she's 6 feet tall, but..."
He blinked, scratching his head with one of his ankle-length ears.
"Besides, White is like me. He's human-looking with leporopod ears and tail. He's bipedal. And, I think Alice's hair needs cutting, not her legs..."
He then smirked.
"Oh? Are you... jealous of White, Hatter?"
[[OH SHI-- *explosion*]]
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Posted: Mon Jan 05, 2009 1:33 pm
Hatter sprayed the tea and coughed at Marche's remark, "Me jealous of a rabbit?" He paled at the thought and slunk in his seat, "How can I be jealous of something that I fear? OH THE PAIN OF LIVING WITH MY FEAR YET FEARING THE SAME FEAR THAT I LIVE WITH!!" He threw his hands up in the air throwing both tea and his cup over his head. Why does Marche torture me so?? The Guard covered his face with his hands and wept, suddenly he leaped half-way across the table forgetting his emotions and stared down at Marche. "Did you understand what I said about fear because I think I confused myself...like I'm doing now. Do I torture myself on purpose? Oh geez I'm rambling again..."
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Posted: Mon Jan 05, 2009 1:42 pm
Marche raised an eyebrow, used to this. He watched the cup crash behind Hatter, and saw the new one pop up.
"Uh, Hat, you're awfully close there. If I can feel your breath, that's... too close. I only like ladies being that close..."
[[Me: This sounds like the beginning to a HarexHatter fanfic. XD
Marche: Noooo! I'm straight! Dx]]
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Posted: Mon Jan 05, 2009 1:51 pm
[[roflcopter!!! I find that quite funny XD kinda killed Hatter's insane moment though. That would be one crazy, not to mention horrifying and mind-scaring, fan-fic]]
Hatter's eyes grew wide at what was going through Marche's mind, "Noooo!!!! I'm straight! I'm straight!" He leaped back to his chair and hugged the back of it. "Not with a rabbit! NOT WITH A RABBIT!" Hatter normally had breakdowns and knew how to control them, however this one was new and it scared him that it lasted longer.
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Posted: Mon Jan 05, 2009 2:01 pm
[[Marche is the debonair straight-man, except for late February-early June |D;;]]
Marche dusted any flown spittle from his jacket quite casually. He rested his elbows on the table, knotting his fingers together.
"Now, by 'not with a rabbit' do you mean Alice being with White? Or do you mean me? I'm a hare, to be technically correct. There's a large difference, as hares and rabbits aren't able to crossbreed..."
He unknotted his hands and snapped his fingers.
"Mmn. I almost want to hit something with my mallet."
[[Me: TEEHEEHEE.
Marche: Not like THAT!]]
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Posted: Mon Jan 05, 2009 2:14 pm
"I meant YOU not Alice! I could care less if she slept with a porcupine! As for your 'mallet' that can be interpreted in many different ways." Hatter's expression dropped and he climbed off the back of the seat and sat in it properly. "I don't remember what I was saying; but I think I've just had a realization!!" The Guard jumped from his eat and punched both fists in the air, "I can tolerate YOU because you're a Hare and not a Rabbit! Curse my lack of reasoning that I didn't think of this earlier...." His hands dropped and he slumped, still standing. "What is wrong with me Marche?"
[[And during that late February-early June Hatter carries a tazer. XD]]
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Posted: Mon Jan 05, 2009 2:22 pm
Marche's lip quivered.
"Either that, or it's because I'm temporarily insane. And, Hat, I think you're perfectly decent as you are. You just hate that brand of leporopod."
He then thought more.
"Sleeping with a porcupine would be very inconvenient and prickly. I wonder how ordinary porcupines....?"
His mind trailed off.
[[Marche: Hatter doesn't have, uh, boobs.]]
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Posted: Mon Jan 05, 2009 2:31 pm
[[Hatter: you can never be too safe. *readies said weapon*]]
Hatter straightened and joined Marche as the two puzzled over this odd topic, most of their conversations were random and VERY varied. Hatter scratched his chin and commented, "Maybe one is on its back? That way they both are free to do whatever they want; but then how would it right itself up? What the heck started this conversation?" Hatter looked at Marche then the empty cup that sat before him, he picked it up gingerly and held it out to the Hare. "More tea please."
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Posted: Mon Jan 05, 2009 2:42 pm
[[Marche: ]]
Marche was intently thinking about this.
"No, no! The spines would stick into the ground and prevent that one from moving back up..."
He then thought about this.
"Now, if they were more human-like, that would solve the issue..."
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Posted: Mon Jan 05, 2009 2:52 pm
Hatter thought about what Marche said and nodded his head in agreement, "Yes yes, that make sense. Would the spikes then be the replacement for hair?" Hatter took his seat and sipped the tea, "Weren't we on another topic before this 'how do porcupines mate?' took place? I had a thought in mind but can't seem to remember..."
[[I think this should go somewhere XD although it is most entertaining =P]]
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Posted: Mon Jan 05, 2009 2:53 pm
Marche blinked.
"Uh, either it was White being scary to you, or you going insane, or me questioning your sexuality..."
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Posted: Mon Jan 05, 2009 3:04 pm
Hatter blinked back. "I do believe that it was all three. However my sexuality is straight and not related to any rabbit or Hare. Too much. That sounded differently out loud than when I thought it." HE stared at the table while taking another sip. "You go ahead and start the next conversation, I'm getting wary of my comments."
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Posted: Mon Jan 05, 2009 3:09 pm
Marche thought, and then smiled.
"Okay then; what is... your ideal woman? I usually ask lesbians that, so I steer clear of their ideal."
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Posted: Mon Jan 05, 2009 3:18 pm
The Guard stopped sipping and looked at the Hare across from him, "What brought that up? And whats it to you?" He placed the cup on the table, crossed his arms, and leaned on the table.
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