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| How old were you? |
| 10-13 |
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8% |
[ 5 ] |
| 13-14 |
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16% |
[ 10 ] |
| 14-15 |
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15% |
[ 9 ] |
| 16-17 |
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26% |
[ 16 ] |
| 18-19 |
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5% |
[ 3 ] |
| 20-21 |
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3% |
[ 2 ] |
| 22+ |
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0% |
[ 0 ] |
| I'm not out |
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16% |
[ 10 ] |
| I'm straight |
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0% |
[ 0 ] |
| Other |
|
8% |
[ 5 ] |
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| Total Votes : 60 |
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 Posted: Mon Jul 26, 2004 9:31 pm
Vague Both my parents were born in the 40s, it has little to do with how old you are, and really to do with how wide you open your mind and how much you love your child. Poverty-stricken, post-WWII Communist China doesn't exactly foster the most liberal mindset. He just can't wrap his mind around the idea that his own son is gay, when I don't mesh with his half-century old image. It ruins all those dreams of continuing the family name in Canada, since my sister is going out with a Japanese man (you can guess how well that went over) and his son won't be offering him biological grandchildren for some time. Daddy dearest just has problems adapting. Period. sweatdrop Like I said, the wrinkles are still being smoothed out.
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Posted: Mon Jul 26, 2004 9:34 pm
Keithing Vague Both my parents were born in the 40s, it has little to do with how old you are, and really to do with how wide you open your mind and how much you love your child. Poverty-stricken, post-WWII Communist China doesn't exactly foster the most liberal mindset. He just can't wrap his mind around the idea that his own son is gay, when I don't mesh with his half-century old image. It ruins all those dreams of continuing the family name in Canada, since my sister is going out with a Japanese man (you can guess how well that went over) and his son won't be offering him biological grandchildren for some time. Daddy dearest just has problems adapting. Period. sweatdrop Like I said, the wrinkles are still being smoothed out. that sucks. i've never understood racisim or sexism...i guess it was just the way i was brought up. with my mom having so many friends of different races, sexual orientation, and religon. it just seems normal to me and it's just...well...confusing when people are stupid or judge someone 'cause they're different.
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Posted: Mon Jul 26, 2004 9:44 pm
Somewhere along the way he missed the whole liberation of the 60's and 70's. The Japanese are still the "enemy" and I'm suppose to be the next him. My life here was completely different from his own childhood, so I can't really place judgement on what he has been taught to believe, but I can prove some it unfounded.
Canada has it's strange conservative places too. I mean, my high school had three gay guys and one lesbian (that I know of), and bisexuals scattered around. I'm not sure if it just isn't a big deal around here, or if they're all hiding. ninja
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Posted: Tue Jul 27, 2004 11:15 am
Well, after telling myself not to believe for three years (there was a period where I'd do anything to be straight just so I could be accepted), I finally came out to myself. The only problem is, I have a different situation than anyone else.
You see, my dad only really had two kids (he has a few step children) which is me and my sister.
Well, four years ago, my sister came out of the closet. Apparently, dad took it well and so did everybody else. But the problem is me. I'm the only child left and I suppose to get married and have kids. Eh, no!
Plus, I keep imaging what people would say. "Two kids, both gay. Damn, talk about bad parenting." And I really don't know who to turn to.
I'd go to my mom, but she can't help! A few years ago, she found Gay websites on my computer and she kept saying "Please don't be gay, okay?". What the hell am I suppose to say? "Oh, gee mom, I'll try my best not to!"
The only person I feel I can trust is my mom's best friend. She has a gay brother, is totally for gay rights, and says that I can always come to her when I have problems. But since she IS my mom's best friend, I have this nagging feeling that she'd snitch.
I just don't know what to do. I'm so confused. sweatdrop
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Posted: Tue Jul 27, 2004 12:52 pm
I came out to my mom when I was thirteen and I had been going out with my boyfriend Eos (we're still together, thank the gods) when we were driving in the car. I just slipped it into casual conversation and she didn't even blink. I was later informed that my stepdad (without my knowledge) had predicted I was going to be gay when I was 4. eek That certainly surprised me.
My parents are divorced and both remarried. They really have no like for each other so when I asked my mom to keep it a secret from him she had no problem with it. Jim (stepdad) knows and my grandma on her side of the family.
All of my friends know or have guessed. They're all comfortable with it...But my dad didn't know...or so I thought. A while ago, when Eos was on vacation (not with his parents) I found out from my mom that was dad knew and was going to tell Eos's parents. Let me put it this way: They would freak out. And my jerk-off dad was going to tell them when Eos was on vacation and have him COME HOME to this. b*****d.
So I dragged him into a therapy session with my social worker (I'm bipolar) and made him promise not to tell. But not without restrictions. Up until recently, we weren't even allowed to hold hands! God is he oblivious...my mom doesn't really care as long as I'm careful. She knows I learn from my mistakes and lets me have independence.
I'm just disgusted that my father didn't tell me that he knew about Eos and was just going to tell his parents without even talking to me about it. It's not just that he's homophobic, it's an image issue. If someone he knows sees me and Eos holding hands, it ruins has image as a parent. (As if as he has one) So he restrains my life so he looks good.
Remind me why murder is illegal?
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Posted: Tue Jul 27, 2004 1:02 pm
tahariel that sucks. i've never understood racisim or sexism...i guess it was just the way i was brought up. with my mom having so many friends of different races, sexual orientation, and religon. it just seems normal to me and it's just...well...confusing when people are stupid or judge someone 'cause they're different. I know what you mean. Do you ever surprise her? I have hardly any bias at all, and it really does seem weird to me. Sometimes, it's a bit of a shock to mine. My parents, for instance, had to adjust to me having much older gay friends. And once I brought my boyfriend home, and my mother was surprised he was black xp not that she had a problem, my parents have friends of many races, I just hadn't mentioned it, because it didn't occur to me as one of his defining traits.
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Posted: Tue Jul 27, 2004 1:09 pm
Vague And once I brought my boyfriend home, and my mother was surprised he was black xp not that she had a problem, my parents have friends of many races, I just hadn't mentioned it, because it didn't occur to me as one of his defining traits. Heh. That's great! I, unfortunately, have a bit of a bias (thanks, Mom!). The only time I ever dated a black girl I had to defend her skin color to my mother. Skin color is definitely one of those things I have to mention beforehand, lest the Elitist Pale Matriarch freak.
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Posted: Tue Jul 27, 2004 1:09 pm
Rayne15 Well, after telling myself not to believe for three years (there was a period where I'd do anything to be straight just so I could be accepted), I finally came out to myself. The only problem is, I have a different situation than anyone else. You see, my dad only really had two kids (he has a few step children) which is me and my sister. Well, four years ago, my sister came out of the closet. Apparently, dad took it well and so did everybody else. But the problem is me. I'm the only child left and I suppose to get married and have kids. Eh, no! Plus, I keep imaging what people would say. "Two kids, both gay. Damn, talk about bad parenting." And I really don't know who to turn to. I'd go to my mom, but she can't help! A few years ago, she found Gay websites on my computer and she kept saying "Please don't be gay, okay?". What the hell am I suppose to say? "Oh, gee mom, I'll try my best not to!" The only person I feel I can trust is my mom's best friend. She has a gay brother, is totally for gay rights, and says that I can always come to her when I have problems. But since she IS my mom's best friend, I have this nagging feeling that she'd snitch. I just don't know what to do. I'm so confused. sweatdrop Bad parenting. that's bull. Don't worry about that part, I'm sure they can handle any idiot who says something like that. As for your mom's best friend... tell her, if you really feel that close to her. And tell her why you didn't tell your mom. She still might tell your mom, but when your mom finds out, just tell her you're sorry, you didn't want to disappoint her, but you are gay and there's nothing you can do to change it. You might also remind BOTH your parents that being gay ABSOLUTELY DOES NOT mean you can never get married and have kids. Plenty of gay couples have children, and where I live, they can even get married. BTW, have you told your sister? I'm sure she'd have some advice, if you explain the problem.
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Posted: Tue Jul 27, 2004 3:31 pm
I'm sorta out, more like I'm timidly opening the closet and peeking out to see if the floor is really frickin' cold.. or something XD
I've told a few of my close friends who I know would not freak out on me. I haven't really suggested it to my parental units yet though...
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Posted: Tue Jul 27, 2004 4:43 pm
I told my potentially gay friend (no one knows for sure about him) that I was bi, and a few of my other friends at a party. No one even batted an eye... Then I told my mom in the car coming home from the party. She's accepting of homosexuality, but I thought she'd flip out. Turned out I flipped out and while I was telling her I started blubbering because I was so worried about her reaction. I thought she'd say that I was too young to know for sure, that I was just "confused", or I was just wrong, but she's totally okay with it. My dad, however, doesn't know, and I don't think I'll tell him for a long, long time. He is a major homophobe. We were watching Will and Grace while he was eating something, and Jack said the words "Gay porn," causing my dad to stop eating and start complaining about how "disgusting that is," and that "no one should say that while someone else is eating." He can talk about anything while he's eating: blood, guts, things that could be lurking in our food...anything. Grrr... scream gonk
About the EDIT: SOME homophobes are just closeted gays thing: I believe that. My ex would go to great lengths to make fun of gays....calling his best friend a f** because of how he dressed, doing "funny" imitations, etc. I thought it odd, because he is for gay marriage and things like that...and then a few days ago he came out to me. He's bi. So I do believe that people trying to deny their sexuality are overly sensitive about it, so make fun of others, trying to make sure that no one else could possibly figure it out.
Sorry if any of that didn't make sense...I just started typing...I don't feel like proofreading it... sweatdrop
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Posted: Tue Jul 27, 2004 4:49 pm
I'm seeing the page stretched... Mage-eeee, is your sig Gaia standard? Also, not ALL homophobes are closet gays. just some.
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Posted: Tue Jul 27, 2004 5:10 pm
Vague I'm seeing the page stretched... Mage-eeee, is your sig Gaia standard? Also, not ALL homophobes are closet gays. just some. I know...I thought I said that. I should proof-read next time... gonk As for the siggy, I tried to make one pic go down, but it didn't work...somebody help me... gonk
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Posted: Tue Jul 27, 2004 5:29 pm
Your HTML or BBCode for the two images is connected. Press enter or return between the two and it should work, tags for new lines don't work for some reason.
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Posted: Tue Jul 27, 2004 6:10 pm
Keithing Your HTML or BBCode for the two images is connected. Press enter or return between the two and it should work, tags for new lines don't work for some reason. Ok thanks...Let's see if it worked...
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Posted: Tue Jul 27, 2004 6:12 pm
Mage-eeee Keithing Your HTML or BBCode for the two images is connected. Press enter or return between the two and it should work, tags for new lines don't work for some reason. Ok thanks...Let's see if it worked... Yay! Thank you! I thought I had tried it before and it didn't work... redface Thanks again... whee [And in regards to your next post: I was on a "Supporters of Yaoi" thread and they had banners there...I liked this one the best, because it was the cutest, but sadly, it's also the biggest...I haven't got a clue who they are, though. Heh. ((Stupid errors aren't letting me post...I hope I can still edit...or that I haven't posted this a bunch of times redface ! Grrr))]
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