Welcome to Gaia! ::

Haha, smooth. biggrin

I thought so. pirate

What I don't understand is how you can be both at once.

I hope so! I should be up there late May/early June, but I'll probably be there with friends. I dunno if they'll want to go camping with a bunch of awesome people like us. We'll make them feel bad.

He's the most narcissistic, pseudo intelligent, snarky d bag this side of the Mississippi. He wouldn't work on anything because it's all perfect. FYI, I broke up with him.

When I dropped out of high school and told him I was going to college he said I probably wouldn't fit in because I'm not the "intellectual" type.

In general I don't like dating. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone who likes being happy.

But back to Jesus....

Actually, this is probably the best thing to do. Remember, in taking on Judaism, a convert takes on all the commandments that a Jew is required to do, not just the easy ones; and one of them is "Honor your father and your mother." This one is hard to do, especially when living at home and chafing under the rules imposed by people who have different ideas about what's right and wrong, or about faith, or about... pretty much anything. But it's necessary to do it. Right now, that means doing what your parents say. When you've moved out, and after you no longer need their financial assistance with school, rent, and other living expenses, that'll be the time to "come out" as a Jew-in-training.



Think about it from their point of view. They're watching their child repudiate the beliefs they've tried to teach you, abandon in the practices they've taught you, deny the deity of the one they worship. They are bewildered, sad, and afraid for you. This is causing them a lot of stress and anguish as they watch you slip further away from the things that are familiar to them, the ideas and lifestyle they always thought you'd embrace.

You may have been thinking about this for weeks, months, or years before discussing it with them, so you're used to it, but it's still very new for them. Give them at least as much time to get used to it as it took you to realize that you weren't able to believe in Jesus anymore. Wasn't that a bit scary for you, at first? It's even scarier for them, because they can't be inside your head and heart, to know what you're thinking or feeling.



That's another reason why it might be best if you wait until you're in college. Just make sure that your school is in a city with a sizable Jewish population. Consider going to university in Miami, New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, Toronto, Montreal, or Boston. Especially, look for schools within walking distance of synagogues. Google Maps is great for checking on things like that. Plug in the address of your university, then Search Nearby for synagogues. Then phone each synagogue, ask them what their affiliation is, and whether they teach classes in Introduction to Judaism and other beginners' courses.



For now, it would be best to be a practicing Noachide, also known as a Ben Noach (Son of Noah). Practice the Seven Noachide Laws to the best of your ability, learning more about them by looking at websites devoted to them. Be the best darned Ben Noach that you can be!

Add some prayer to your day, first thing when waking. Make it very simple: Say or whisper something to the effect that you are grateful for being awakened, for having breath, for being able to see, stand, think, and feel. As you put on your clothing, keep in mind that you are dressing your body out of modesty, not just out of a desire to avoid catching a cold. Before eating, thank whoever cooked the meal, and then add (in a very low whisper) two Biblical verses: "The eyes of all wait for You, and You give them their food in due season. You open Your hand and satisfy every living thing, with favor. (Psalm 145:15-16)" That isn't what a Jew says over food (there are very specific blessings to say over each type of food, for a Jew), but it has the benefit of being equally applicable to EVERYTHING you could possibly eat, whether it's kosher or not. It'll teach you to wait before you eat, rather than dive in like an animal and snarf the whole meal without even tasting it. Then before bed, while dressed in pajamas and/or bathrobe, whisper thanks to God for giving you another day to live, and a promise that little by little you will get more knowledgeable about how to live in accordance with God's teachings. Try morning prayers first, then evenings, then thanking God for the food you eat throughout the day -- that's the hardest, since it's kind of public, and it hurts to be ridiculed by one's parents.

Don't bother keeping Sabbath (which a non-Jew is forbidden to keep anyway), though it is appropriate that you should remember on Friday night through Saturday night that that time is sacred for a Jew. Don't bother keeping kosher, either, since it's impossible when you're living with your parents -- they will almost assuredly start eating pork and shellfish and combinations of meat and dairy, just as a mostly-subconscious kneejerk reaction, so don't raise a fuss about it. Just eat what they give you, and don't mention it at all.

After you're comfortable with praying most days, add a personal course of study to your week: one day a week, set aside one hour. In that hour, read from the Hebrew Bible (in translation) for twenty minutes. Then work in a Hebrew primer book to learn Hebrew for twenty minutes. Then spend about twenty minutes online, looking at the basic/beginner level lessons in places like Torah.org, Aish.com, and the Ask The Rabbi section of Chabad.org (scroll down this opening page and find the first question in the section, then read what everyone has already asked -- chances are, you'll find a lot of your own questions answered already).

Then, in college, seek out a Modern Orthodox rabbi on campus or nearby, and describe what your journey has been like so far, then ask for his help and what other steps you can take. He'll probably discourage you; Talmudic law requires him to do this, it's not personal, so don't let it hurt you. He's doing it because there have been some people who converted, then went back to worshipping in the ways of their former religion. It's fine for people to worship in whatever way they want, and there's no penalty or divine disapproval to it -- but once a person becomes a Jew, they're required to worship as a Jew, and there are penalties and divine disapproval for worshipping in foreign ways. When the rabbis discourage you, it's to make darned well bloody certain that you really do mean to commit yourself and your descendants forever to Judaism, and Judaism alone.

My rabbi, the dayan of my city, who received his s'michah from Rav Ovadyah Yoseif, the chief rabbi of Israel. Also, every other rabbi I've ever asked, or heard speak on the subject. Non-Jews are not supposed to keep Shabbat in the same manner that Jews keep the Shabbat. They're permitted to pray, to view the day as holy, but they are not to avoid acts of m'lachah, light Shabbat candles, or do other things that could cause others to believe that they are Jews. There is a difference between a Jew and a non-Jew, and in essence, it is Shabbat. A Jew has an extra soul which descends from shamayim for the duration of Shabbat, then returns to shamayim when Shabbat departs; that is why Shabbat is so special.

A convert also has this soul, from birth, and that is the proof that this soul is Jewish even though the body is not Jewish; but the Jewish extra soul awaits "activating" through the act of conversion. Until conversion happens, that Jewish soul hovers over the convert rather than entering his/her body on Shabbat. Sensing its presence is often/usually what causes a convert to realize something is missing, and to approach conversion.

Sensing that extra soul's presence is also why many converts look among their own religion or other religions first, since they don't know where it comes from. I know someone who was born into a Baptist family, went through phases as Methodist and Pentecostal, approached Catholicism with the idea of becoming a priest, looked into Wicca, spent several years with Buddhism, and finally at the age of fifty someone told him "You know, you should look into Judaism." He'd always been told that Jews were born Jewish, and had no idea that one could convert, so he never even considered it. He's in rabbinical school now, or was, the last time I heard from him a couple of years ago. Looking for ways to connect to Hashem, and also to that Jewish neshamah, is one reason so many potential converts go on religious journeys, experiment with drugs, become writers/poets/artists, and do everything they can to try and tap into the wellspring they just know is there for them, if only they could access it.

Yes, I haven't read anything that says I can't observe Shabbat.
I might not go through all the rituals because I'm not official yet but I still observe it as a holy day of rest.

Like Zumbi said, just because a Rabbi said it doesn't mean it is 100%, with-out-a-doubt true.
The Torah can be interpreted many, many ways and what one Rabbi says another Rabbi will say something completely different.