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It was perhaps two in the morning when Jeane realized that, with all of her planning, she had forgotten many things. As she held a sobbing, wet baby on her hip, she realized that she was not at all ready for Conan to be at her house.

She had bought toys, pets, and candy: Everything a baby could need! Of course, she hadn't bothered to buy diapers or baby food.

Bob walked into the living room, half asleep. "Car's warming up." He muttered. Conan sobbed, clinging to Jeane?s shirt.

"What do I do?" She asked Bob, tearing up. "How can I make him stop? He?s breaking my heart!" Bob collapsed on the couch and looked at her blearily.

"Unless you know how to put on a cloth diaper, we can't do anything." He grumbled.

Flawlessly dressed and groomed, it was Pepito who saved the day. He grabbed Conan and plopped him on the couch, then replaced the wet diaper with a fresh one made from a dishtowel. He then wrapped the subdued baby in another towel before tossing the wet onesy aside.

"Here you go!" Pepito happily said, hading Conan back to Jeane. She started to cry again, cuddling the happier baby.

"Thank you, Pep." She whimpered. Pepito grinned and adjusted his skirt.

It took half an hour to get to Meijers in Bob's purple Beretta. Jeane carried Conan on her lap during the ride, mentally adding 'Car seat' to the long list of items to buy. Once they were inside, Pepito started to assign jobs.

"Bob, you get the food, Jeane'll go for the bathroom stuff. Since I have the best fashion sense, I'll get clothes." Jeane and Bob looked at each other, dressed in blue sweatpants and a Dragon Ball Z shirt, Flannel pants and a vest respectively, and they were forced to agree with him.

Bob finished shopping first and waited near the cash register. While he waited, he fell asleep with his head in a bouquet of mixed flowers. Jeane woke him up when she arrived, cart full of diapers and other hygienic things. They started to check out, forgetting about the third member of their party.

"Oh, what a cute baby! He looks just like his father!" The checkout lady cooed. Conan gave a baby glare.

". . I'm not his dad. Uncle." Bob grumbled. The woman looked at Jeane.

"So, you're a single mother then?" She looked very disapproving. Jeane was about to answer when Pepito ran up, arms full of clothes.

"Oh my gosh, Jeane, look at this itty bitty cute shirt! Isn't it the greatest?" He tossed the clothes on the checkout table and picked up Conan. "Oh, my little man will be so handsome!" The checkout lady looked a bit frightened as she rang up the final purchases. Bob loaded the groceries up as Pepito carried Conan out, still cuddling him.

"Doesn't my ickle baby look just like his daddy?" Jeane cooed at the woman. "Shame he likes to wear my clothes." She grinned, grabbed the last few bags, and then started off.

Conan is such an odd little baby.

This morning, I woke up to find Conan gone from his crib. This scared me, because my room has a habit of eating things and never returning them, like my seventy dollar calculator. Used it to prop up my table during spring break and I never saw it again.

I ran downstairs, nearly falling down as I slid into the living room.

"Bob, Conan's..."

There sat my brother and my baby. Watching PBS. They looked like zombies. Bob turned towards me, blinking.

"This is the neatest show." He toned. Conan looked at me and gurgled.

At least Rene doesn't roll. Didn't get smacked with a chain all night.

Woke up at about seven this morning, and Rene was just staring down into Conan's crib with this look on her face. She saw that I was up and picked him up. He just gave her a look like: "Wow, you weren't here when I went to bed!"

"That's Conan." I told her. She gave me a different kind of look and we went downstairs. Bob was fixing pancakes. He placed a few plates on the table and we sat down. Rene looked at her pancakes.

"They're better with syrup." Bob said, handing the bottle towards her. She reached for it and one of the chains around her smacked him right in the nose. He blinked at her, then shrugged.

Conan pointed at him and laughed. Bob glared at him, then licked his upper lip. His nose was bleeding profusely. Rene felt awful.

She felt even worse after she hit him for the second time, and the third, and the fourth. The fourth time splintered his nose. He dropped Co and Rene with me and went to the hospital.

I came back to the house and found Bob passed out on the couch, tounge hanging out of his mouth. Pepito told me the hospital called and asked him to come. Bob's skull was fractured from the chain whips. They had to put him under and put the skull back together.

Rene felt so bad.

Well, I learned a few things today. For one, Korini has a very flirtatious cousin with a soft tail, and two, Bob is deatly afraid of snakes.

First, the cousin. I went up to the HQ and Korini was there, with her cousin. He had two tails. So, of course, I petted one. Then he started being all flirty and talking french, which reminded me of the dredful Mr. Drang. Even now his name makes me shiver.

Conan started to play with Manten and hugged him. Manten didn''t like that too much.

But while I was there, I had a call from Bob. Something about a snake. I found Bob on top of the kitchen table, poking a snake girl with a stick. I''ve named her Luc, and she doesn''t seem to be a nice critter.

For some reason, Conan totally spazzes whenever I turn the television off of PBS. Rene and Luc joined all the screaming, but it didn't bother me too much.

After we got everyone calmed down, it was time to get them fed. Conan got Spaghetti O's, which he seems to love. Rene was eating some pistachios, and Luc was busy trying to eat Bob's leg.

I woke up this morning and found everyone missing. Ran downstairs to find the front door wide open. I ran out and everyone was on the lawn, even Luc. They were all dressed in winter coats. Rene and Bob were arguing about weather the white stuff on the ground was frost or snow.

It was frost. Bob lost. Everyone went back inside and starting eating ceral. That's when Luc said her first english word.

She stared at Rene and said, very firmly: "Snow." Bob just started laughing. That ensued into an argument of "Snow." "It was frost!" "Snow." "Frost!" "Snow."

Conan finished it by throwing his ceral all over Rene, then giggling.

I don't know why I didn't notice. She's allways so cheerfull, so it's easy to tell when she's down. But this time, she wasn't sad or anything. I should have noticed. She and I have been together for eighteen years. I'm usually good about things like this.

But when I went to wake her up this morning, there was a note on her freshly made bed. I picked up Conan and started to read:



Down stairs I heard screams and spitting, and I had a sinking feeling that I'd be taking a trip to the hospital.