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 Posted: Wed Oct 17, 2007 9:33 am
"It is..." Azumoth heaved as he was overcome by the impact and very carefully began to glue the tiny pieces of his composure back together again. One thing at a time, bit by bit until at last his lungs began to co-operate with him again and he was able to breathe without feeling even slightly dizzy - but by the gods the tiny little thing packed a punch when she put her mind to it!
"Fine," he finished at last, clearing his throat as he pulled himself up to his full height again and arched a brow. It would be a lie to claim that he wasn't bothered by the injuries, on the contrary they hurt quite a bit but it was all to serve as a reminder. He had been cruel (out of necessity) but he should also be punished for his lack of manners in accordance to the emotional wounds inflicted on the little beauty. Granted, the moment she left he would pace back and forward in his grove and mutter. He would shout protests and complaints of pain and all the while his mother would hang from the tree and watch him - similarly, Giruvegan the bear would simply rub his own furry belly and shrug before both reminded him of one thing...
He had asked for it.
He was of course entirely at fault despite her uttered apology and his muscles were already beginning to ache from the abuse. In any normal circumstance he would be perfectly content to rip the opponent to pieces before they touched him but this was different - as with his daughters, he needed to let her get a feel for it before he started to bounce around. Ah yes, despite his large bulk he could be surprisingly quick on his hooves.
Casting such a thought aside though he was all to aware of the now reopened wound in his chest. The unicorn had healed it sufficiently but the skin was still tender in that area and as such the blood began to seep down in a rather ticklish (and itchy) manner. He wouldn't lie when he mentally confessed that it was exceptionally uncomfortable and yet his [removed](now he could breathe again) was completely unreadable - if anything the arched brow made him appear bemused more than in pain.
I have but one phrase to offer... Logic interrupted calmly, As supplied by Kalona.
Great Spirit that ******** hurts! Protested the part of him that was for the most part in charge of his physical form at present. It was more of a howl than a protest in his mind but then again such a thing was unused to allowing physical abuse, it was usually the other way round.
Unfortunately, Azumoth really was inclined to agree with how painful it really was - ah at times like these he would give anything to be normal so that he could be nursed back to health by a pretty mare. He'd even permit himself to play up the wounds if only for a bit of that ridiculous sympathy. Admittedly it had once sickened him to watch but in a way it demonstrated a rather unique and endearing bond between the pair of soquili - disgust was more jealousy than anything if he looked at things in such a light.
"Well done," he praised at last, breathing slowly as he readjusted his stance to account for the pulsing in his chest, "You landed that perfectly, as you can see you winded me..." He offered a slight smile to indicate that was exactly what he expected and nodded, "Plenty of time to run away while I try to figure out what happened."
"However there are times when you will not be able to escape by winding them, you will need to floor them which is where the next lesson begins," he was of course referring to knocking the hooves from under a soquili. It took quite a bit of fancy foot work to achieve such a thing if the other individual was skilled but paid off in the long term - in a sense it was just a deliberate (but more firm) form of tripping someone. All it required was to hit another weak point and she appeared to have a fantastic aim.
"Are you ready?"
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Posted: Wed Oct 17, 2007 10:15 pm
Her stomach twisted as she dropped back to her hooves. Concern was written all over her face as she winded the male. Any pleasure she originally felt she would feel by hurting him was quickly transforming in to anxiety. It made her sick to beat up on him, even if he were twice her size! She understood he had asked for it, she was able to comprehend the reasons behind it too. . . But. . . but she felt dirty, she felt wrong.
Bella was not a fighter.
Tail swishing nervously behind her, the mare ducked her head and pawed at the ground. The tip of her hoof was stained with blood not her own and it concerned her. This wasn't just a smarting bruise and imprint - oh no - she had cut him!
Maybe it was nothing but a scratch, but to Bella it was something terrible. Hurting Azumoth, even in the name of training, made her feel terrible. Part of the mare felt as if she couldn't continue - this was no game and it . . . it bothered her. Violence, even when necessary, merely wasn't her style. Where she felt not guilt over Malice, her anger at Azumoth was different than her anger and terror of the kalona. Azumoth was someone she cared about, whether he liked it or not, and even for the sake of knowledge and her own safety she didn't want to cause him pain or hurt.
Was there no padding he could use? Even his armor served little purpose in the places she was kicking.
Despite his assurance and even his few moments of praise, Bella fussed. Stepping forward she almost nosed at his chest, amber eyes shadowed not by anger but a growing concern. He was bleeding! She had done that to him with her hooves, and though it wasn't a deep wound it was certainly causing him to drip crimson.
Though she said nothing, her guilty gaze turned upwards at Azumoth and an unspoken apology permeated her aura. She hadn't meant to kick that hard. . . . Had she? Oh bother!
And yet the black stallion looked unphased, unperturbed. it was as if her kicking him bothered him little, as if he was still amused by her 'quaint' attempts at ferocity. Ooooh - why wouldn't he fight back? "You can . . You can dodge, you know, or . . . or fight back." She softly explained, doubting that he'd listen. Even if he ignored her she could at least let him know that she wouldn't be too terribly upset if he was the one that floored her or . . . caused her to bleed.
It would only be fair, wouldn't it?
Why he just stood there she didn't know, besides making himself an easy target.
Heaving a sight, despite his praise, the mare tried to keep tight reign on her resolve. She found it slipping through her fingers like sand through a sieve and there was little she could do about it. "Um. . . are you sure?" She questioned, turning her gaze back up at him. She wanted to plead him to stop - there was enough violence in the world. She could learn later or tomorrow or . . . . something.
Her neck ached and her back hoof continued to throb. Lunging at Azumoth was ever so slowly starting to take its toll on her sore leg. It wasn't enough to cause her great pain, yet, but she was sure by the end of their training she'd be feeling less than stellar. "Because I . . . I'll be honest, I'm not sure I like the idea of knocking you down. I know, I know," she hastily added, dropping her head down to the ground, allowing her frazzled and wildly curled mane to hide her expression. "It's training, I'm learning but. . . . it's just. . .I just don't feel right abusing you so."
Oh, had she just said that? What a fool she was. Wincing, the mare tensed and awaited the verbal thrashing or mockery in his gaze that was certain to come. He probably wouldn't understood her logic, her way of thinking or her feelings. He would either yell and stomp off, fit to be tied, or rip her feelings to pieces and tell her to get on with it.
She knew she'd probably have to attack him again, knew that these lessons would continue else she'd be cast away. But. . . . if he wanted her away from him so badly why was he teaching her?
Ugh. He just didn't make any sense.
But, Bella was more than certain that she was just as confusing from his perspective.
((I'm sorry - she's incorrigible it seems. x3 ))
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Posted: Mon Oct 22, 2007 8:11 am
"Because I . . . I'll be honest, I'm not sure I like the idea of knocking you downi...it's just. . .I just don't feel right abusing you so.."
What?
The stallion fixed his amber eyes on the mare and simply stared at her for quite a long period of time. He had heard a lot of things in his time but never one so frank. That wasn't to say he hadn't heard declarations of discomfort again, but they were usually in relation to the individuals own physical complaints as opposed to his physical well being. Therefore, to say he was a little disconcerted was an understatement. Alas, he wasn't reverting to the silent treatment at this precise moment in time, he just wasn't completely aware of how to respond.
He had a number of options of course, he could completely destroy her claims and belittle her (yet again) but given that he had just done such a thing not long ago that would be beyond uncouth. Not entirely prepared to butcher his personality further than he already had, he therefore had no other choices other than to feign ignorance or to deal with the issue head on.
...Let us be frank, Azumoth was a coward when it came to emotional issues.
So, ignorance then?
He wasn't sure and so the silence continued for a while until at last the black stallion was able to shift his gaze away and to the left a bit. Now fully concious of the throbbing in his chest, he was beyond uncomfortable and no distraction seemed to be within his immediate reach. Whether it be mental or physical, he always managed to dig his own god forsaken grave and while he could drag himself out of a rut in terms of his physical condition - mental wasn't quite so easy.
To put it simply she was quite unlike anything he was accustomed to. In a way she was as pleasant as his mother and yet her naivety allowed her to possess a unique set of qualities. Each were as desirable and endearing as the next - though to an old codger like him her idealistic views could become exasperating. Combine that with her pretty little frame and he wasn't entirely sure if anything more ideal could exist... So what if he had seen beautiful and exotic mares before, they'd never spoken to him in such a frank manner before.
He felt like his quivering colt self from many years ago.
Shaking his head, he allowed a sigh to escape through his lips and shut his eyes. Taking the time to consider his actions carefully and to regather his thoughts it should have been unsurprising that his body language had once again become stand-offish. It wasn't so much cold, but between the pain in his chest and his own uncertainty his muscles had tensed and his head remained turned away from the mare.
"It is not a case of how you feel during combat," he murmured at last though he wasn't really inclined to believe his own words, "So much as to act out of necessity," now this is where he needed to tread carefully or they would once again find themselves in another misunderstanding. Really for an observer this would be beyond entertaining!
"However I suspect that your leg cannot take any more of your lunges," he had no idea how truly accurate he was at this point, it was merely an excuse to be used given he wasn't sure if he could handle many more of her complaints without caving in himself. "A break is in order, a time to recuperate," now this was the riddle in the sense that he believed the break was more for him than for her.
He needed time to think, lots of time to think.
"And to let your friends know you are safe," he added at last, opening his eyes as he returned his gaze to the mare. This was the most subtle way to remove her from his presence, it was the most effective way to give him space and no doubt she would spend more time with her friends. There was safety in numbers after all...even if she did end up with that pathetic excuse for a stallion. Actually, he wasn't thrilled with that prospect at all but there was only so much Azumoth could do without interfering - a friend to everyone, he doubted she would appreciate being told to avoid the moron who nearly had her killed.
"You at least know the weak spots so if desperate I have faith you will be able to at least try to use that knowledge to some effect," he mused, popping his lips idly as he began to shift away, wincing while his back was turned. Ah, that wound was still rather fresh from the last assault upon his chest and he hadn't yet forgotten how painful it was to walk with it the last time either.
Alas, life was never a garden of roses for him.
"I will take you home," he murmured finally, although while he hadn't mentioned it he would be going beyond the forest edge as a matter of security. His intentions were both to ensure that she returned home untouched and to make doubly sure that the Kalona wasn't stalking the borders. Two birds killed with one stone, he could ask for nothing more.
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Posted: Tue Oct 23, 2007 1:39 pm
Bella stared hard at the ground, body tense as she waited for the verbal attack to come. As hard as she tried to get the black stallion to understand her views, lately it seemed all she wound up doing was frustrating the male. She pissed him off in to a rage the night previous and this afternoon - inwardly Bella shuddered, not at all wanting to remember her earlier humiliation. So what would come now. . . .? A mocking jeer, a snort and roll of his eyes, an impatient huff?
Bella just didn't know, and almost wished she hadn't said anything at all. Wasn't it true that she had felt a bitterness towards the male? Hadn't she earlier wanted to beat him black and blue, to force him to feel anything? It was true - for a brief moment the cream mare's frustration had turned against the stallion. But such feelings had faded when she made the first kick, when she threw herself at him holding loosely upon the tattered reigns of her pride.
Where she had thought she might feel relief and joy, instead she felt sick. Even if it were 'just a game', persay, even if it were nothing but self-defense Bella didn't like hurting the male. He could get in to enough trouble himself without her leaving hoofprint upon a smarting body. Attacking him, or anything for that matter, just wasn't something she was meant to do. Not unless it was a real battle, not unless instinct commanded her to.
Azumoth was a fighter. . . . but could he understand her empathy?
A silence grew and Bella held her breath. Embarrassment began to register throughout her system as she tried to guess what reaction would come. He might not say anything which very well could be the worst reaction of them all! Slowly, cautiously, two amber eyes looked underneath her lashes to study the stallion before him.
. . . . . he looked . . . . like he always did.
Was he choking back an inward rage? The way his muscles hardened, the way he closed his eyes and avoided her gaze. Damn. She'd done it again. Maybe it would have been better had she kept her damn mouth shut! Wretched caring, wretched feelings - all they did was get her in trouble.
Finally the silence was shattered.
Her ears pricked though she didn't lift her head to listen. His voice was controlled, but there was no rage behind the words. If he were upset he was keeping his composure admirably and Bella appreciated it. Finally taking a small breath, she felt bittersweet relief at the prospect of a break. . . .
But that too was short lived. She would have to go home. Back to the plains that turned against her so, back to the place that had ousted her not even a day before. Bella felt her stomach twist as she imagined such a prospect. Where to find Meshach she didn't know. . . . and honestly, Bella couldn't help but wonder what friends would she let know? She hadn't seen Feena since they were yearlings, and besides Meshach there was none. Azumoth was her closest 'friend', the only soquili she saw much of. There would be no one to reassure, no one to find comfort with. . . . .
Bella decided Azumoth wouldn't want to hear it. There were no excuses, really, this was her time to go home. She had upset him enough and now was time to take her leave and go. Could she ever return? . . . . yes, and she would. But right now it was time to ease off. He'd show her to the edge of the woods and she'd be stuck making the trip back to her plains. She'd steer far form the cliffs. . . . and maybe just move completely. Closer to the lands of the two-leggers, closer to other herds where there was safety in numbers.
"Thank you," she found her voice, appreciative of not having to continue to pound on him AND of the training he had taught her. It wasn't much but it was enough to help her if cornered. Maybe. So long as she could remember the best locations to kick. Heaving a gentle sigh, she tried to shake her anxiety and stole another glance at the male.
No matter how she felt, no matter how much she didn't want to go back to that awful plain. . . . . Bella hadn't a choice.
((Ack - sorry for her lack of conversation. D: ))
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Posted: Tue Oct 23, 2007 3:31 pm
Had the mare chosen to kick up enough of a verbal fuss he might very well have caved in, more often than not when one of his daughters pouted he would crumble within seconds. If she was genuinely so scared and had argued her point he would have granted her permission to stay. He wouldn't be happy about it, would be forced to endure more inner trials in the process but he would have loathed to force her into a situation that could cause such trauma.
...It was such a problem that the mare had. She cared more about the feelings of others. She never wished to burden anyone and while this was a quality the stallion was inclined towards it could also be problematic. If anything, one day he would hope on a subconscious level that she would speak up and make him hear or perhaps not him but the one she wanted to hear it the most.
Shaking his head at her thanks, he at last began to move towards the rather familiar paths. She had been down them before, they hadn't changed much despite the shifting seasons and while they weren't beaten the markings on the trees would be the same. The ferns, the moss and the unusual mushrooms that had yet to be eaten all remained in their usual spots.
In the early morning, the forest seemed significantly more alive with the sounds of animals. In a way, it was difficult to imagine the forest as such a dark an eerie place - to listen carefully would be to hear the sounds of playing younglings and more often than not the quarrelling love birds in the trees. Battles of song, minor sparring, the forest was so full of life that there remained no sign of any deep and dark shadow that made itself present during the night.
Azumoth had always considered his forest to be one favoured by the spirits and nymphs in the trees. At night, their protective embrace came in the form of daunting shadows and distorted trees, broken light and so forth. Anything that instilled fear was used accordingly and yet when light broke and morning came the dark shroud was lifted to unveil the true beauty with - such were the secrets of this deep forest.
Now the borders were somewhat different, to protect their secret the Nymphs often ensured that the outside remained most unwelcoming. The dark shadows didn't lift from the borders and the sounds of life deep within the forest were often dull and difficult to hear from the outside. It was their secret, a secret and a treasure to be had for all those who were welcomed and embraced by the chosen lord of that time.
In a way, it could be assumed that in some manner of speaking, Bella had been embraced now that she was provided with such a unique insight into Azumoth's true home. It seemed that he didn't always live in shadows though more often than not he patrolled in them. Life was full of surprises, books really couldn't be judged by their covers and it would seem difficult to imagine that Azumoth would be so gloomy in such an environment.
And normally he wasn't...
Ah the things seen behind closed doors, secrets and treasures held for fear of an outsider destroying them. Everything was in the name of preservation. Here he could be truly happy when no one could see him.
He would never forbid her to enter the forest again, he couldn't do that and he suspected that a tiny rebellious urge in her would ignore it anyway. The very fact that she had seen this place as a safe haven stood out, he couldn't keep her from that. As a protector of the forest, his natural instinct was to make sure an individual felt secure - an outsider she may be but in ways, she tried so hard to integrate herself as well.
That being said he wouldn't accept her fear of the plains either, one little event was not enough in his opinion, to scare one from their homeland permanently. It was not substantial enough and merely paranoia, she needed to overcome it and forcing her to return would be good if only for a short while.
Reasserting his own views he pushed his way through the undergrowth, dismissing the unusual sensations in his shoulders and flank as he was tickled by undergrowth that more often than not, touched cloth instead of fur. He was all too aware that he would need to place his garb back on again but now was not the time, he had plenty of opportunities later to do so and besides, the air against his skin was good for it.
Maintaining his silence, it wasn't long before the edge of the forest came into full view and without the slightest hesitation the stallion gave a small snort and continued to saunter beyond the borders and out on to the barren slopes. His body language remained the same and there was no indication of discomfort as he glanced around the immediate area and then seemed to deem it satisfactory.
"So, which direction are your plains in?"
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Posted: Wed Oct 24, 2007 11:25 am
Bella walked in silence as Azumoth lead her to the exit of his woods. It occurred to her that the path was beginning to look a little more familiar. She remembered those mushrooms besides that massive tree - and the way the path curved up ahead. . . . Yes, the steps were beginning to become more familiar. At least in the daylight.
At night it was still a matter of a different story. The way the darkness shrouded the woods, causing the intimidation factor to skyrocket. Trees that held beauty and glamor within the embrace of sunshine suddenly became snarling and cruel. Their long limbs and twigs transformed in to fingers, reaching out to attack any who pushed their way in. The woods at night could be an awfully intimidating place. . . but it did hold its own beauty within. Good to keep those weak of heart out, good to keep many away.
As the canopy above began to thin, Bella felt her heart begin to race and her stomach begin to churn. She knew that this fear was irrational and something she could learn to forget. She knew that she should be just as confident about her home as any but. . . . that attack had only happened the day previously. It was still raw and fresh in her memory and she still didn't trust what could be lurking there.
Out in the open. . . . well, she'd be exposed again, vulnerable. No, she didn't expect Malice to return but who knew? She knew not the ways of kalonas nor their wrath and 'games'. Still, she tried not to let her steps slow as they reached the border - but the girl did stop dead as Azumoth candidly pushed his way through. Wait, wait, wait - did he just . . . step out from the undergrowth?
Well, maybe just to be sure. . . maybe just to . . . to see. He was the protector of the woods. Lowering her head the girl forced herself to push through the protective woodland embrace. She couldn't stay here forever, could she, and Azumoth would surely oust her soon as she were able. That day seemed to be today. Glancing around, just to be sure, she swallowed and saught for her voice. "They're . . . . south west of here. . . " She murmured, glancing off to the direction. "Near the cliffs." She took a breath, before glancing up at the black stallion. As usual this is where they'd part ways - just because he now stood in the sun meant little.
"Thank you for . . . everything. I'm in your debt to such hospitality and generosity." And the mare meant every word. Despite pissing him off, despite the strange happenings of this afternoon, Bella still owed everything to the male. He had brought her to safety, he had let her bathe and recuperate some, he even took time to help train her. What did she do to him but cause aggravation and strife?
Body tense and alert, she took a few steps forward, feigning certainty despite feeling none at all. Well. . . here went nothin'. She had no other choice.
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Posted: Thu Nov 01, 2007 5:06 am
Southwest?
Azumoth arched a brow at this, aware that quite a number of those who had 'explored' his forest had resided in the same location. So those he saw strung out across the horizon on clear days were beginning to take a more personal form. Slowly but surely he was able to to put names to faces and to their tiny forms within the distance. Oddly, this made him more aware of the fact that not only had he been watching his daughter from afar but he may very well have been watching a baby Bella given her age.
...He really was old!
Flicking his tail against his flank the stallion simply released a snort and took note of the mare's attempts to appear more confident than she really was. It wasn't that he was a mind reader but he was no fool and recovering from such brutal assaults were difficult even for him. To not be shaken by the incident would have worried him more so than to have her burst into tears and to cling for dear life to his grove. In fact, had she not even shown the slightest fear and stress at what had occurred then he would have been more than a little suspicious.
"Very well," he replied at last, choosing this point to speak up as opposed to remaining quiet. Granted, more often than not he preferred to keep his mouth shut but in this given situation, silence would have been worse. To speak, even softly as he chose to would lift some of the tension from the air and perhaps grant the mare just a little bit of the security she craved even if it would disappear the moment she was home. That being said, no doubt she would be well protected at home as well.
"I suggest we move swiftly, the temperature falls rapidly during this season," he continued in the same soft tones, allowing his ears to flick back and forth as he began to move off. He didn't so much as follow Bella, as take the lead - perhaps it was a tiny bit of male pride within him but he would sooner take on the Alpha male role. It was difficult to explain and normally he would have let the mare lead while he kept look out but today was a little different.
Ah yes, today had been an odd one for which he would punish and lecture himself later but today had also been a day when he was required to make a stand. While out in the open he was vulnerable - physically speaking he wasn't but on a mental platform he was more than a little uncomfortable. To have both individuals looking so uncertain would have spelled disaster for any watching predator and as the best actor of the two (if he didn't say so himself) it was up to him to make this uncertainty disappear.
Yes, the mare was allowed to be uncertain.
As a male, it was utterly ridiculous that he would be - it was his duty to protect!
Somewhere, someone was bound to be laughing at his old fashioned views but he was firm in these and such things ensured his stride remained strong and his form controlled. Pace reasonable enough for her to keep up with, he reverted to silence once again in favour of mulling over previous events and those that may occur shortly. Here he was, about to enter a land that was more than a little hostile towards what he was 'supposed' to be - he was accompanying an injured mare.
Gods in heaven what were they supposed to think?
On this occasion, he would walk her right to her home. In place of watching her from the borders (as he would do with others) he would ensure she was safe before he broke company even if he had to bolt upon the arrival of the angry mob.
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Posted: Sat Nov 10, 2007 10:33 am
Azumoth was actually walking outside of his woods.
Azumoth was actually walking before her, taking both herself and him further and further from the sanctity of his home.
Azumoth was actually walking her home!
Great spirits in heaven what the hell was going on?
To say the cream coated and bruised mare was more than a little shocked was quite the understatement. Though she understood that the male had traveled the land - he had told her this himself - she was so accustomed to his own doubts and inner affliction to his appearance that she knew the rules by heart: she entered his woods, very shortly thereafter he would guide her out. She would step back through the plains and he would stay hidden within the heart of the woods.
It was that simple.
Bella had long such accepted those rules and had turned off any expectation she might have held the stallion to. He wasn't the sort that could easily be labeled or placed, he wasn't the type that one could judge at first glance. He was unique, he was umtamable, he was Azumoth. . . . and often left one hell of a headache in his wake.
Still, the fact that he was pulling himself out of the grove and escorting her back to her plains, the fat he had crossed that border without so much of a complaint or growl or roll of his eyes. . . .
The relief she felt was uncanny.
Despite her anger and frustration she had harbored, despite feeling wounded and heartbroken thanks to the emotions she was so certain would never be, oh how the broken mare's love for the black stallion grew.
It just couldn't be helped.
Here he was, pushing aside all the barriers he had set up around himself and why? Why? Bella didn't know, she couldn't understand, but she could at least pretend it was for her safety. No matter how frustrating he was, no matter how many emotions and conflicting aggravations he sent her, he couldn't hate her so much so as to do something like this. . . .
Right?
Oh, part of the mare didn't know anymore. Him escorting her to her plains was short of a miracle and Bella wasn't going to dare take it for granted. The guilt she felt about thinking so poorly of the stallion earlier and wanting very well to hurt him (for that strange second) suddenly strangled her. For shame to have acted so hurt. . . for shame to have thought negatively about the one thing that had saved her. Frustrating as he was, it was something she had accepted and therefor couldn't complain about. . . . .
The fact that he was walking her home meant she owed him a extra large apology. It would fall upon deaf ears, she was certain, and this could indeed but another 'game' of his to humor his person . . . but Bella couldn't let him leave without properly thanking him.
She cared little about any other soquili that might be around. In fact, she hardly noticed their existence. With an amber gaze fixed on the stallion before her, glimmering from conflicting emotion that threatened tears, she stuck as close to the black stallion as she dared. Any could tell she walked willingly and without restraint, that her spirit was as strong as ever. She was no weak-willed ninny. . . . .
Well, at least that's what she liked to believe.
"Th-thank you," she murmured as they walked, those two words injected with raw emotion.
More thanks would come as soon as she were home.
((Sorry - she. . . she can get a little emotional sometimes. It's been a crazy afternoon. *chuckles* Confusion, than lust, than anger, than more confusion and fear. . . . It's been a long day for both of them, I'm a thinkin'.))
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Posted: Tue Nov 13, 2007 2:14 am
((Lol s'all good, it made for awesome reading! =P))
It had absolutely nothing to do with his sense of humour - one might say it was his unspeakable desire to make sure that she remained safe. He couldn't express it, not in the way he wanted to and not in a way that wouldn't make him sound like a fool but it was there. He may not have been permitted to have the petite female for himself but he could ensure her security for the time being - she didn't need to know what went on in his mind - all she needed to be was aware.
Mhm, that's all. All she needed to be was aware that he wanted to take her home and for the sake of his own sanity she needed to let him. It wasn't too much to ask, in a way she benefited from it too. She got to see him on the open plains and while he remained at her side only the most foolish would attempt to disturb her. She gained a security blanket and he gained a slight boost to his pride following his little mishap in the pond. It wouldn't be repeated and he probably couldn't redeem himself for it either but this was a start.
Alas, when she spoke he couldn't help but belittle her and even before he had opened his mouth, he had already begun to curse himself mentally for how brutal he was being.
"Do not stutter," the words came out, a force of habit as it were.
Damage done he quickly fell silent again and shifted his weight uncertainly. This caused a rather peculiar lop to enter his step, his stride changing almost on a slight jump so that his left leg was leading as opposed to his right. It would probably have been more graceful at speed but when slowed down to a mere walk it looked a tad foolish! Ah well, it was just another thing to add of his list of things to mull over when he was once again alone.
OR...he could be a man.
Ah choices, the sides of his mind began to dispute this choice and perhaps in doing so they missed the most ideal opening. However, his brow furrowed at last as his logical mind won, savouring the help of the heart in this case. Empathy, it was an evil thing sometimes but it worked to logics advantage in this occasion and Azumoth was quick to right the wrong that he had done.
Unfortunately, this didn't mean that he was going to say an outright 'sorry' though.
"It will become habit," really he had the most bizarre way of apologising, belittling her further in a manner that some might even find to be abusive but as always, Azumoth had that little saving grace locked up tight. "But you are welcome all the same, I would not permit you to walk home in the dark anyway." He would be loathe to admit he had allowed her to walk home in the dark before but now it was out of necessity that he walked by her side. The words he spoke were not those of fatherly tones though, in a way they were completely ambiguous as though the unfortunate stallion was still plagued by past events.
Dear gods, he'd been a total plank.
It was only made worse by the way in which she said those words. 'Raw' emotion to him sounded husky and strange, exotic to the ear and in a manner of speaking he craved to hear more. Around him, the majority of individuals were guarded in their emotions or...more often than not they knew how to express themselves in a way they saw fitting. Thus, it was rare for this particular stallion to see any form of genuine emotion other than the fuzzy love provided by his very fuzzy mother.
...He wanted more.
Stopping abruptly, the stallion took a few moments to recover his composure and to dismiss the childish thoughts in his head. Every single time he met this mare he was left in this state, trapped by his own emotions. He wasn't meant to be emotional, he never wanted to be as it only led to pain but at the same time...if he was more emotional would she not be inclined to give him more of that? More of that voice?
Ahem.
Wasn't he meant to be taking her home?
Yes, yes...
Another shake of his head and he was moving again. The long braids brushing and slapping against his neck were the only form of caress he would permit himself to have. Although, he had to admit that if he had let her experiment...if he had let her explore just a little more in the pond he may have enjoyed her caresses a damn sight more than that of his braids. Warm breath against his fur, that ticklish sensation as her soft -
Goddamnit he had to behave.
Most unusually, while all these thoughts were occuring in his head he remained relatively stoic. It was only when he released a rather displaced cough that it became apparent that something was amiss. From this point on he was going to blame the cool night air, he was unaccustomed to it (all lies) without his scarlet robes and it was beginning to get to him. The moment he entered the forest and couldn't see the pretty creature beside him, he would be fine.
Just fine.
Okay?
No sooner had these rather childish thoughts entered his mind than the plains came into sight and his ears flicked up. Then they promptly flopped down again - he hadn't expected this, there were no feelings of anticipation as he usually gained when parting ways with company. For once the anti-social stallion wanted to be social but after what had happened...Well, perhaps it was the knowledge that he really had done enough to keep her away from him that caused this to happen. The last few times he had only muttered words of warning, now he had utterly humiliated her. This would be his last time and you know, it really sucked.
Coming to a halt at the top of the small hillock the stallion turned his head to admire the mare for 'one last time' and even offered what appeared to be a ghost of a smile. He didn't always smirk, their were moments when he could smile and his expression could soften significantly. In a way, if the smile had been larger he would have looked much younger and much more boyish but the ghostly smile only served to loosen his expression ever so slightly.
...Almost as though to say, "I've done my duty".
That wasn't what he wanted to say, yes he had done his duty but there was so much more he wanted to say. Now he had scared her away he didn't want her to stay away - now that he had humiliated her he wanted nothing more than to take it back.
He hated women.
Really, really hated women.
"I will watch you from here," clearing his throat, the stallion at last spoke up again as he turned his gaze back towards the plains. Oddly, it was much warmer down here and the wind softer to the touch but the warm embrace and safety blanket just weren't there. He knew many loved the plains, the open freedom but they didn't provide the cover and security that he deemed so important. Yes, he could stand in them but he just couldn't connect with them on any level...they were there, from a distance they looked quaint but from up close...
They weren't horrible, but they weren't for him either. He was even certain that in summer when the floors bloomed, those of the plains would look utterly spectacular. No doubt Bella would have been in her element, surrounded by blossoms, a spring in her step. Unlike him, she was most definitely suited to the plains - they fit both her appearance and her nature.
"When you are settled I will return to where I belong," he wasn't so much informing her as he was informing himself. When he friends and family discovered she was injured and that he was on the hillock there were bound to be problems. Luckily for him, he had wings and he could use them, so running wasn't a problem...he just didn't enjoy that jolt of hatred that pursued him right back to the safety of his Grove.
Nevertheless, as he spoke these words a tiny part of him released a weary sigh. The heart that had otherwise had a rather exciting, yet unproductive day was at the point of simply giving up. That wasn't to say he was about to have a heart attack but his heart wanted nothing more to cuddle up in a ball and go to sleep. A chance to regain it's strength for another battle if the opportunity ever came up again.
...Thus, it's soft words were not demands. Just a gentle observation, one that expected to remain unheard but one that needed to be said anyway, if only to vent a little disappointment.
"You're going to lose her."
Perhaps it was the fact that his heart hadn't expected him to do anything, but that sigh of disappointment had triggered something and that little fear crept up again. Frankly, if it had been anyone else he wouldn't have given a toss but this little mare had insisted on being the bane of his existence and at the same time - a blessing. Through her optimism she had brought light, granted he found her naivity to be more than a little irritating but that light had been intoxicating. In a way he had missed it when it had left.
Whatever happened to him liking the shadows?
Argh, what had he done? He'd promised he wouldn't let himself get like this again but all the same he wasn't sure that he could leave without at least trying. Fine, she may never visit his grove again but he could make sure that the invitation was there just in case - right? He just had to make sure that this time he hadn't shut all the doors and drawn all the curtains to keep out the light.
Somewhere, a certain raccoon would be smiling at this change in her 'little' boy.
"If you -"
He never had been good with words.
"If you ever need someone, regardless of the reason or where you may be -"
Now he was just sounding cheesey, but there was something welling up inside him and already his heart was sitting forward in anticipation and partly through surprise.
"Call me," he said at last and released a rather heavy sigh, a large weight pressing down on his shoulders as he waited for the laughter or the potential jeering but he honestly (though he may be wrong) couldn't envisage her jeering at all. "I will hear you."
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Posted: Sun Nov 18, 2007 11:23 pm
Do no stutter. . . .? It hit Bella like a ton of bricks, as if he had sent a kick with his powerful hoof to her chest and sent her flying. That was all he could say to that. . . .? Honestly, she hadn't expected him to respond, but to dismiss her gratitude with a reprimand?
Why did she even bother sometimes. Truly, Azumoth was an intricate piece of work. Her golden ears twitched, but she refused to let them fall back against her head and sulk. No, this wound was small in comparison to the events by the lake, and any tears she wanted to shed would have to wait. Up and down, left and right, these past few days had become rather overwhelming for the mare. It seemed that for every step she took, somehow she tangled herself up and was dragged fourteen steps to the wayside!
Progress - what was that?
No, she had learned fast to detach herself from Azu's brusque words and not take offense. But sometimes, it was easier said than done. Heaving a small sigh, even as he tried to explain himself, Bella remained silence.
Whether or not he chose to acknowledge her thanks, or her presence, at least she had told him. Next time though, she'd be strong enough to keep her words cool and without fumbling over the roots of emotion that quite often ensnared her. Next, shed - -
She stopped just as abruptly as he, avoiding to run in to his back side or trample his tail. Why the stop? Ears pricked, Bella spared a moment to twist her neck this way and that, searching the horizon for something. . .anything. . .that might cause a delay.
Sunlight, grasses, a few strangers minding their own on the horizon but. . . . No Malice, no kalona, no anything. She almost frowned, but allowed the expression to slip in to a more neutral expression as Azumoth continued once again.
She almost asked but kept her mouth shut. Knowing her luck he'd dismiss her concern with a cold shoulder or laugh, or some other condescending comment. Anything to put her back in to her position, wherever that might be. Part of Bella couldn't believe he hated her or wanted her out of his life forever - if he had why would he have spared the time to walk her to her field? And yet . . . and yet doubt and embarrassments reminded her of the place he had chose for her.
Perhaps that was the worst part of all - the young mare had no clear view of where she stood in the black stallions life. Perhaps it was wrong of her to require a label, but he offered so many mixed emotions it was just too damn hard to decipher or guess. Besides which, all her guessing seemed full of fail!
With bittersweet adieu in sight, they were finally there. Bella didn't actually have an allotted 'spot' of territory, so often did she run wild and free, but here was as good as any. Best they stop now else she do all in her will power to keep Azu walking with her forever. Amazingly enough, there were very few about. . .
And those that were hardly looked twice. Though Azu might assume soquili would instantly attack and harass, there were just as many who kept their noses in their own business. Bella obviously wasn't in any trouble, she wasn't fighting or screaming or pawing the ground in irritation - she was facing her friend and the atmosphere around them was cool and placid - if a little awkward.
Despite it all, Bella had very few friends. Meshach, a handful of acquaintences, but most important was Azu himself. In her little world, even if she disregarded her attraction (yes - she'd admit it to herself) he was still the closest thing to family and loved ones she had. Perhaps that's why it hurt even more to be so humiliated or rejected, perhaps its also why she clung so close to him when she could. . . .
Amber eyes gazed up at him, conflicted, confused, but still ever gentle. Ah Azu. . . . what was she ever going to do with him?
Though she expected a word of caution (if he were feeling generous or kind), or for him to say nothing at all and leave, the mare had to admit she was taken aback by his offering. Her ears pricked again as he spoke, the cogs of her mind attempting to fully understand what this meant. Hold the phones, call the doctor, what the hell was he saying?
He was giving her his assurance to return. . . ? To seek him out regardless of the situation? Wait, wait, wait. . . Why? Was it pity? Was it only to mock her again down the road? No - there was no malice, and he coudln't be that cruel, could he?
. . . . okay, so maybe he could, but Bella couldn't believe it. He was sincere in his words, that much was certain. Again, for a second time, the barriers of her heart were melted as she was struck unexpectedly again by the power of his kindness.
Just a change, just a simple offering for her to return. . . Her eyes glistened, emotion making itself fully present in more than her voice. It was becoming too much - open wounds laced with tender loving care, only to be smeared in salt and then affectionately tended in bandaids. Should she cry in pain or joy?
The mare just didn't know. Ducking her head, she pawed at the ground and ignored the hiss of pain in her neck. "Thank you," she said again, her words shaky and deep, but filled yet again with such sincerity and gratitude. "As always, I appreciate your kindness and generousity. Thank you, Azu - I - - " She hesitated, trying to figure out what to say but wanting to avoid another round of humiliation. But could she really humiliate herself more than that afternoon?
Without thinking, she stepped forward and gave the black stallion a nuzzle underneath his chin and cheek. Voice low and still injected with the touch of her heart, she whispered against him, ". . thanks for everything."
Stepping back, almost turning away, the mare realized she had no where to go. She could stay and watch him leave, but part of her didn't want to. Was this good night or good bye?
Oh, the mare just didn't know. Maybe with a little time she could assume he'd forget. Maybe with a little time, with a little strengthening of her shattered pride and ego she could face him once more. For now. . . . after everything. . . she just needed a break.
"Be safe. . . " Her eyes dropped to the ground, her curled mane swishing slowly behind her. As much as she wanted to, she couldn't turn around and trot away. That wasn't polite at all - she'd see the black stallion off as was proper.
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Posted: Tue Nov 20, 2007 1:41 am
Oh you pillock...
Now would be the time to leave, her touch had caused something unsettling to occur deep inside him and while he didn't back away he did tense. Perhaps it was because she had mimicked the way in which his mother had very rarely tended to him as a foal but that soft touch had been enough to make him quiver inwardly and beg for more - ah, he was so lucky he was so disciplined or he would have caved in there and then.
Choosing not to reply to her words, too afraid of what may escape from his lips he instead gave an abrupt nod and with an almost gruff demeanor turned to the side. Backing up slightly, he began to unfurl his rather peculiar wings - first allowing them to drop to the floor before they swept upwards and seemed to click into place. When furled they had always looked so small but now they were in full view they were actually very, very big. The joints in his wings were more complicated than others - where some had none, he appeared to have double the amount of bones and joints to support and control their movements.
Nevertheless, while this little show would have been entertainment to some it was old news to him and bracing himself he broke into a canter then a gallop to set himself up for take off. Swinging round in a wide semi circle, he held little concern for the braids that now dragged against the ground and instead, with an almighty thrust of his wings he pushed himself into the sky and moved as swiftly as he damn well could. Anything so that she was out of his sight and he could go home to lick his wounds!
That being said, even as his wings beat against the currents in a now settled manner he did steal a glance backwards to the mare he had probably scarred for life. Really he was a beast, and while he had deemed it necessary in the beginning there was now a rather large part of him that wished he bloody well hadn't. She hadn't so much as flinched or hesitated, she had just touched him...
Why was that?
Forget it.
It was not logic that spoke, it was the darker side of him who had already began to steel him for the emotional trauma that he seemed to be putting himself through. Ah yes, it happened every single time...He would fall for a pretty mare and have his heart torn in two, his darker side would move forward and instruct him until he was once again able to move without concern.
Only this time it was different as he had torn it apart himself and he really doubted that such a dark side could console him...
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