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xd I think they need some better stores here. All the skirts are waay too short, and I never wear things like that. I like shorts myself, though. Easier to move around in. :3

Short skirts? Not often. Knee length takes up most of my closet.

Maybe it's just me, but dressing is hard enough, let alone allowing for modesty! It's like I can never find anything that suits me, and if I do, it isn't my size, or they don't have it in the right color. I'm just extremely picky about what I wear.

60 pounds?! Congratulations!

I would never of thought to look at a muslim website. Funkyfrum.com is nice, but relatively expensive. Not to mention, I don't know anyone who has bought from there, so wouldn't really know what I was paying for.

Kingpinsqeezels: Thank you! I feel great about it. I still have about 15 to go before I'll feel truly awesome, but I'm well on my way.

I wasn't thinking to look on a Muslim website, either. I just did a net search for modest clothing, and that was one of the sites that popped up. Most of the Christian sites had stuff that was floral, lacy, and/or ruffly, and that is SO not me. The Jewish sites at that time (four years ago) were all apparently having site renovations, or didn't carry my (rather large at the time) size. Most of the Muslim stuff wasn't totally my style, either. Shukr was, though. Their stuff looked very sharp, modern, tailored. Perfect for "office casual," which was what I needed, so I became their customer. I also like the sportswear and swimwear from http://www.primomoda.com -- very covered, very comfortable, and I was the only person on my cruise last month that didn't get even a little bit sunburnt.

Darkphoenix1247: Depends on the community. Reform, yes, as long as you wear something slightly more formal to synagogue. Reconstructionist, I don't know; that varies widely. Conservative: If it's trousers you want to wear, make them floor length; if it's knee length, make it a skirt. Orthodox: Better it should be just below the knee, and a skirt. Chareidi ("ultra" Orthodox): Better it should go at least down to mid-calf, and it should be a skirt.

The logic is that trousers highlight the shape of the leg, as well as showing the spot where the legs meet at the top, and that part is supposed to be disguised/hidden. However, a salwar kameez is a beautiful way to wear trousers (for warmth, fashion, or avoiding of shaving the legs) and also answer the Jewish law's requirement for a skirt or tunic. However, make sure the salwar (tunic, top shirt/dress) doesn't have seams that are split higher than mid thigh at the highest. Otherwise, the wind could blow the front and back panels aside and expose the area that a skirt is meant to hide.

If your swimsuit covers your tochas, you're doing GREAT! I felt the need for more, but if you don't, then do what you feel is best for you. It's one thing to say, "This is what the Jewish law says," and it's another to say "...and therefore YOU have to live by it!" I'm saying the first part, but not the second. wink Every Jew or potential Jew should make an informed personal decision about how they're going to observe the law. And if you're Reform, then your informed decision should start with "Will I observe the law? Will I learn it without observing? Or will I just take delight in my inherent Jewisness as a member of a nation, and leave the legal and ritual aspects of the religion up to those who find it personally compelling?"

For me, I find it personally compelling, but my Judaism isn't the same as yours, or Dis Domnu's, or Halcyon's, or Phoenix's, or Yvette's. There are as many Judaisms as there are Jews. Every one of us has to work out exactly what our flavor of Judaism entails for us. "Yisrael" means "struggles with God." But the great thing about it is that we struggle with God, not against. God struggles with us, shoulder to 'shoulder', a partner in our learning and in our practice.

I don't see it as necessary for everyone to do the same things, nor to believe the same things. Not at all. I mean, if we were all doctors, who'd bake the bread? Who'd build the houses? Who'd sue the doctors for malpractice? wink So it makes sense that religiously each of us has a different function to fulfill as well. The Torah tells us of the three major divisions within Judaism -- kohanim, leviim, and yisrael (everybody else). There have always been differences of opinion. Even the Talmudic sages, the wisest among us, argued. The great thing about Jewish tradition is that we preserved and recorded our arguments as if to declare to ourselves and each other, "Look, there are different ways to view this tradition. I say we do this in this way; you say we do it in that way; the guy over there says we don't do it at all; that one nearby says that we do it in either manner."

I don't say that it isn't necessary to do the mitzvot, though. The only thing that separates a non-Jew from a Jew is that the Jew is obligated in the 613 mitzvot, while the non-Jew may treat most of them as optional and some of them as forbidden to be observed as a Jew would observe them. But HOW and WHY we observe the mitzvot is widely open to interpretation.

Agreed and more. blaugh

Those things are so pretty! Thanks for the advice!

Oh, Kingpin, sweetie, it breaks my heart that you still feel so much like an outsider; but I know it would be hard not to feel that way. The conversion process is much like adoption. Actually, it is adoption into the family of Israel, and that's why a convert is always referred to as a bat/ben Avraham Avinu v'Sarah Imeinu. During the first part of the relationship, there's a bit of testing on all sides. Is this the child we want to be a part of our family? Is this the mother or father that I want for my own? Then comes the fostering stage, at which the child lives within the family/community, but is not truly, officially a part of it. It's a time of learning, of feeling one's way to make sure that it's the right fit on both sides. That's the part of the conversion/adoption process that feels the most uneasy, I suspect. Even when the adoption/conversion is finalized, you may still have some moments in which you wonder if it's really real, when you don't feel fully secure about your membership within the family.

But I promise you, Kingpin, the family want you. Every convert is a person who was lost to the family of Israel. As the Torah says and the Talmud elucidates, every Jew who would ever live was standing at the foot of Har-Sinai to hear and ratify the covenant -- including those yet to be born, and including those who were born of non-Jewish families. We were all Chosen. Some were Chosen to be born into Jewish families, and others were Chosen to be born into non-Jewish families, and both have an equal share in the Jewish heritage. Completing your conversion doesn't change you, it merely awakens a part of your neshamah, your soul, which has been dormant within you.

Converts are what's missing in the family of Israel. When you come home, you are HOME. You're mishpachah. Just like any couple who adopt, we'll be overjoyed when you're fully, completely, truly ours. Just like any adopted child, you are not just wanted, but deeply, desperately desired, selected from the multitudes to be held close and nurtured and cherished. Please, though it feels lonely right now, and though you may think, "I don't look like my foster parents, they weren't there when I was a baby," please don't let that stop you. We want you, our treasured, splendorous daughter.