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What are your thoughts on critiquing?
YES!!!
48%
 48%  [ 47 ]
Eh...
49%
 49%  [ 48 ]
NO!!!
2%
 2%  [ 2 ]
Total Votes : 97


Onamisaki

PostPosted: Sat Aug 11, 2007 4:28 am


Sakeri sat back with a great sigh, rubbing her full belly in content. Amati watched her from the ground, eye twitching in disgust. Before the girl, lay a mountain of dishes, stilll drippng with what lay on in only moments before.

"It never ceases to amaze me," he muttered quietly to himself. Sakeri leaned back, fork hanging from her mouth as she came face to face with the canine.

"What? She inquired cluelessly, removing the fork to scratch her nose with it. His yellow eyes narrowed; Sakeri knew full well that he couldn't give that answer in such a public place, so she'd resulted to teasing him. Instead of letting her have the satisfaction he was angry; Amati turned on his heels and leave. Sakeri looked after him, in shock before scrambling after him.

"Wait!" she shouted, diving after him.

Sakeri froze only moments later, halted by a hand gripped firmly around her delicate wrist. Her head craned to the source. At the sight of a large, calloused hand clutching her own, her eyes widened with horror. Sakeri's heart thudded.

"Hey," the man grunted, holding out a small piece of paper. "Your bill." Sakeri, however, noticed nothing but the hand. Her mind hand blotted out his words.
PostPosted: Sat Aug 11, 2007 4:30 am


i was in many rps im so tired of them anyway good luck with it wink blaugh

Xx_Rikutawa_xX


Onamisaki

PostPosted: Sat Aug 11, 2007 4:34 am


[[ eek ]]
PostPosted: Sat Aug 11, 2007 6:20 pm


" He touched me..." she whispered, umoving. At those words, the canine whirled around, fear dawning in his eyes. His claws dissappeared in apuff of smoke and shot straight across at Sakeri's outreached hand. In mere moments, they immersed her hand, forming claws where her nails once were.

"HE TOUCHED ME!" she shrieked, raising her clawed hand. The bartender stood frozen at the sight he'd just witnessed, as screams rose in the dingy room. A flurry of customers flooded out with only a single figure bounding in the opposite direction. It was Amati.

He charged at the two, head-on as those fatal claws began their descent. The man let out an unearthly scream, trying desperately to protect himself with his other arm. In a blaze of greay, Amati tackled her with a grunt, rendering her unconcious. And, just as quickly as they came, her claws faded into a cloud of smoke and returned to the canines paws.

He padded around her patiently, sticking his keen nose into her large pockects. Before long, he pulled out a small plastic card and trotted quietly over to the shaking man. He placed it on the counter with a small clicked and returned quickly to Sakeri's side. Shouldering, her onto his back, the wolf padded quietly out of the pub.

The belling ringing their happy little song...

Onamisaki


Rekinore

PostPosted: Sat Aug 11, 2007 6:47 pm


The heavily cloaked figure broke the treeline, but he stopped. The memories had faded, his anger gone. He was winded, and bruised. Ahead of him lay the first of the houses of the village. He was hungry, so he decided to scrounge around for leftovers in the trash cans.

"It amaazes mee... Theey throow awaay thee besst sstufff..." He began to search the trash, eating what was still edible. "Soo wastefull." But he knew he would require a place to hide before day. Atleaste here in the neighborhood.
PostPosted: Sun Aug 12, 2007 6:24 pm


"There it is," Edger thought outloud. It wasn't death energy...but it was something big. He grabbed a peice of purple chalk and drew a cirlcle on the side walk, carfeully watching no one was looking. He put back the chalk and breathed deeply before whispering the ancient words he had learned not to long ago; "Phet...Ergo...Hospa!" The chalk lines grew white and then quickly flashed violet. All that remained was a thin trail of pale smoke.

Edger landed softly in his room. He smiled, last time he had tripped on the way back and hit his head on his desk; he was getting better at this. Of coarse this wasn't even Necromacy and didn't take nearly as much effort. This was his own use invention of exsperimenting with a few words here or there, before he realized that experimentation of this sort could kill him if he wasn't carefull.

He quickly stuffed things into a big black side-bag: his cloak, quills, staff, as well as any other magic he could possibly need/use. With that he then sat on the floor and tried to focus. Where did that jolt of energy come from. he remember where he was, the direction he had "heard" it. He scanned over the region and then he found a tiny spec, like the slight snaking of a stubbed out ciggarette. Hr grabbed his stuff and ran for Big Al's, the local grill. The fate of this place may depend on his running abillity... a scary thought indeed.

OOC: This is gonna link in you're direction Onasmisaki. I don't no if I want any action yet, so hang around or move on from where you're at, I can work with both. This OK with you?

BookSage


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PostPosted: Sun Aug 12, 2007 8:55 pm


((Whoops. I apologize for my previous post. I was in quite a hurry for camping. Anyway, how about having the god of death as one? He'd greatly benefit in the destruction of the human race, and it would greatly intertwine with Edgar's story, if that's okay with you, Booksage.))

From the other side of the city, well below the mountains, Kin walked silently through the languish street, his long cape draping with blood. There was just that sense of madness that clouded his sneseless thoughts into focusing on attacking the humans during a full moon, and he was all the more pleased of doing it when that strange cloaked man told him so. People who sat by the sidewalk merely looked up in curiosity of what that strange liquid that remained along his path, unable to decipher over what it was from the dim lights, but once their gaze met his, they couldn't stop the penetrating force that paralyzed their podies. His left eye seemed to have looked deep into their own and seeked into the very bottom of their hearts to uncover their worst fears. Then, in a flash, their vision would be pitch black, and that thing they feared the most would appear. Kin laughed playfully as he watched the toiled men scream in agony, their bodies unable to move, their minds trapped in the deadly illusion he casted. Then an aura shone from far ahead, catching his attention. As much as he'd like to do this more often, there was just some strange tug of interest that grew within him. Opening a portal before him, he stepped in and exited into a seemingly abandoned bar. Dishes and glasses scattered shattered across the floor. As he came to look up at where the open door was, he saw two shadowy figures, one of a human and another of something that walked on fours. He tilted his head in sheer curiosity before walking towards them, slowly.
PostPosted: Sun Aug 12, 2007 11:57 pm


Reese wandered the city's empty streets for what seemed to be hours. His prime objective was to destroy these "Purifiers", but that quickly changed. He sought these "Purifiers", in hopes of joining them in their battled against the "Defenders". Reese sighed.
"This war will prove to be one of stupidity and pride. The only reason I'm even part of this mess is because of those bastards."
He clinched his fist, feeling the power of his grip. He smirked.
"I might as well make use of this."

Solomon Marquis


Onamisaki

PostPosted: Mon Aug 13, 2007 1:00 pm


[[Eh... I guess a god of death is okay, but he's really similar to the God of Fear. I mean the god of fear would greatly benefit from the deaths too, because the destruction of mankind would cause a massive panic if everyone were to start dying. So, Booksage could really use the God of Fear the same way, he could use the God of Death. ^_^ Ok, I'll be moving forward then! Toward the mining town.]]

Sakeri let out a low moan, her bleary eyes scanning across the soft field of grass. The sun had already begun to set. All at once the scene from the pub came flooding back, and she struggled weakly onto her hands. Sakeri glared at the wolf, who dozed off quietly at her side.

Why? she snarled silently at him. Why would you protect such filth!?! Her heart thudded as tension suddenly filled the air. Sakeri's heart shuddered as the voice sounded in her head.

Sakeri, it rang. She whirled about, adrenaline pumping through her veins. But, no one was there.

"Who are you?" she whispered frantically, eyes still flailing around wildly.

We are those, who have taken judgment on mankind.. Sakeri's eyes widened at the words, and her breath halted.

Could it be? she questioned herself. Do gods really exist? A breathless laugh of disbelief escaped her lips. No... It couldn't be. Trembling fingers moved to grasp her head an she breath shortened.

Mankind must be destroyed. Time stopped and the people from her past rushed at her. They've become nothing but greedy creatures. Doris... They care for nothing but themsleves. Her dad, leaving for work... And, they take from the earth, what can not be returned. The village up ahead... It had become a moment of clarity.

Humans have become too corrupt to live, she thought, her eyes focusing on the smoke trailing up the mountain.

Yes... It whispered as Sakeri stood gracefully on her feet. Her gaze narrowed as the whispers grew louder and louder. Kill them al- It was then, the whispers halted all at once.

"Sake?" Amati's voice called from behind her.

"Yes?" she replied, coolly. Sakeri stood coldly amidst the setting sun, its soft rays leaving an orange hue about her.

"What are you doing?" he inquired, his eyes had beginning to fill with worry.

"It's time to go."
PostPosted: Mon Aug 13, 2007 2:13 pm


Izzy aimlessly walked along the streets. The wind picked up again and her hair was pushed into her face. Everytime she shoved it back, the wind would push it right back into her face. She finally got tired of this and stopeed to put her hair in a low ponytail to keep it out of her face, and just as she snapped the hairband from her wrist to it's place in her hair, she heard faint footsteps behind her. She spun around and accidentaly hit the person, who had been closer than expected. Izzy looked down, and was semi-glad to see her "brother" sitting there on the the ground. She let out a sigh of relief, and roughly pulled Logan up to his feet. "jeeze Izzy, you don't have to be so rough.." he whined. " and you don't have to sneak up on me!" she shot back. the conversation went on for a little while longer, and the result was basicly she was in trouble for going out alone. And with that conversation done, they started to walk back to the family's house.


((I know that that post was pretty stupid and useless, but I needed to post and I couldn't think of anything better.))

ToasterKii


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PostPosted: Mon Aug 13, 2007 2:21 pm


((Eh?... They were just outside the pub, and now on the field of grass? So... is the street filled with grass? My character is inside the pub, walking closer to yours. I've been hoping for an encounter.))
PostPosted: Mon Aug 13, 2007 2:58 pm


[[Oh... think of it like this. The two left the pub. Sakeri unconcious after being knocked out by Amati. Now, Amati doesn't want to draw anymore attention than he already has so he take them to a grassy feild on the outskirts of the town. You, seeing us walk away could've followed and thus met us on the grassy feild. Does that make sense? I'm sort of waiting for that weird interuption thing. Where the character isn't aware of the other character unless he or she speaks. It'd be kinda weird if we all met via "I sense someone...*looks* *gasps/glares* So, whenever you're ready! ^_^ And, Penguin feel free to meet up with anyone or have something happen that forces you out onto a journey.]]

Onamisaki


School Of Dedicated RPers
Captain

PostPosted: Mon Aug 13, 2007 5:31 pm


Congrats on being an advanced RP! Your RP will be staying in the main forum. I thought that your intro to the basic plot of the RP was short but innovative.
PostPosted: Mon Aug 13, 2007 7:40 pm


[[ eek ... That has to be the most pleasant surprise I recieved this week! 4laugh Thank You.]]

Onamisaki


Sauronbane

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PostPosted: Mon Aug 13, 2007 7:46 pm


((OOC:I'm the newest to the story, but I've always been fairly good with names so... The God of Death, Shivaki.... Yah odd name, but I like it biggrin Don't ask what it means though razz ))

Ryn walked slowly down a street, his eyes glinting in the late day sun, his thoughts consumed by the ideas of whether or not he was doing the right thing. The gods had created him, but he had come to the realization that if he did as the gods had ordered, then he would be little more than the humans he had been sent to exterminate. There was also the fact that not all humans were as dark, and uncaring as the gods had painted them, and Ryn wondered whether it might be the gods who where dark, and not just the humans. He sighed, his wings rustling in the wind, his thoughts still on whether he was in the right or wrong, when ahead he heard a whimper.

Ryn looked up, and spotted a face, disappear behind a large garbage bin. Slowly, Ryn walked forwards, his claws clacking against the pavement. Leaning around the corner of the bin, he saw a small child cowering there.

"Do not be afraid..", Ryn said softly, his voice caring and kind.

The child whimpered again, pushing back against the wall, before whispering,"Your one... One of the Purifiers... Your... Your going to kill me...."

"I am no longer a Purifier... I am a defender, set to protect man-kind, from the onslaught that the gods have unleashed.... Come child, and I shall take you somewhere safe.", Ryn said softly, a kind smile on his face, holding his hand out to the child.

The child seemed unsure, but eventually took his hand, and Ryn lifted the young boy into his arms, asking,"What is your name?"

"I'm... I'm Jacen..",the boy said quietly, still slightly frightened by Ryn.

Ryn smiled, saying quietly,"Thats a nice name Jacen... I'm Ryn... I'll take you to your home."

Ryn turned, and slowly walked down the streets, carrying the boy in his arms.
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06 General Archives (non-RP inactive threads)

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