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i didn't think i was being harsh.... sweatdrop

Much love to Sig, yo.
I don't really care either way. I just don't want old people leaving. So yeah. >.>;
I r teh Indifferent. =)

There's this amazing ability of mine to feel horrible after someone is hurt or depressed. It's at it's maximum right now. I know I got mad. I am a raging ball of uncontrolable fire if ticked off. Or to put it simple; my temper is short and mean. I should probably work on that.

Dealing with new people is a touchy subject for me. I feel...really bad for them. x_x So It ticked me off. I understand now that you were just trying to help but everybody else believes that there's nothing wrong.

I'm sorry it had to end up you backed up in a corner feelnig hurt. <3




bean, you're my hero

good luck Akily. :prepares a distraction for your current bosses... should they get curious:

You would think...ny is happy...
But I am not
I am ******** up...depressed..
and I don't know what to do
I feel like this for a long time now, I have been able to live with it...got used to it I suppose...
But every now and then everything is a mess..I feel like s**t and have to fight myself notto kill myself
..
I used to hurt myself very often...cos in that time wel..I felt really bad
I cut myself...tried to stangle myself..drown myself..
anything to hurt me...
Not really to kill I suppose...just to punish myself for everything that went wrong..
When I am in these 'moods'I tend to blame myself for everything....and i take everything waaay to serious and even if it is someones elses fault..I blame myself..
I hate myself....I am doing everything wrong..so those things are abviously my fault...well...to me they are.
I do accept help in those times,...but it seems I cannot use it...or don't now how to...
I try to calm myself down..but often I nd up nearly breaking my own arm...and I do know what I am doing in those times...but afterwards..I am not happy with what I have done...cos of the pain...but I never really regret it...
Today it happend again....I got stressed...it was around 4 pm..and you cant say I had a bad day cos my day was great....but ever since 4pm I kinda feel like s**t...
And now nothing seems to wanna listen to me..do what I want it to do....and I feel like I am useless..I can't make anything to work..can't do anything myself..
and I am no fighting myself not to hurt myself..
and its hard...
And I don't know how long i can keep this up..
without ending to really kill myself
...

Awws heart

-huggles tight and kisses cheek-

Aw. Ny. =( You're such an awesome person. Believe me when I say you make others feel better about themselves. I find you to be one of the rare true sweethearts of this world. Hell, I actually am nothing. Like, no joke. XD I have my interests and such.. but.. overall, I don't really have any usefull skills, and I'm so timid.. it's not even funny. x_@ Although I have a few awesome friends, and an awesome family.. I mean.. I don't have enough people like me around me. Only two, or three. All I do is work, home, chat. o.o Er... atleast you have your looks.. ._. .. xd heart xp

So yeah. You're spepcial, hun. You truely are. I hope you get over what you're going through right now. It would suck to lose a great person.

Hm. Think of this. I was talking to a friend, and she's a sweety aswell. She was talking about how much stuff sucks in her life.. then all of a sudden it came to me. I doubt I heard it before, it just came to me out of nowhere.

"When you're the light, all you see is darkness". =) <3