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Hairy Priest Vice Captain
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 Posted: Mon Nov 06, 2006 1:31 am
Stresshog 5- The Tenth Doctor has only one weakness - the colour yellow.Eh... the Tenth Doctor is the Green Lantern? Ooookay then...  Wow, it's like a work of modern art. What the heck is that... a vampiric christmas star?!
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Posted: Mon Nov 06, 2006 9:03 am
Ha, that site rules Stresshog!
1. Devoid of his cells and proteins, Ben has the same chemical makeup as sea water.
2. Ben once lost a Dolly Parton lookalike contest.
3. On stone temples in southern India, there are more than 30 million carved images of Ben!
4. Ben is often used in place of milk in food photography, because milk goes soggy more quickly than Ben!
5. The number one cause of blindness in the United States is Ben.
6. Ben can run sixty-five kilometres an hour - that's really fast!
7. Over 2000 people have now climbed Ben, with roughly ten percent dying on the way down.
8. If the Sun were the size of a beach ball then Jupiter would be the size of a golf ball and Ben would be as small as a pea.
9. The state nickname of Iowa is 'The Ben state'.
10. The fingerprints of Ben are virtually indistinguishable from those of humans, so much so that they could be confused at a crime scene.
1. Never store Crumpet Lord at room temperature.
2. Crumpet Lord is actually a fruit, not a vegetable.
3. Crumpet Lord can last longer without water than a camel can.
4. A sixteenth century mathematician lost his nose in a duel over his love for Crumpet Lord, and wore a silver replacement for the rest of his life!
5. Ideally, Crumpet Lord should be stored on his side at a temperature of 55 degrees.
6. Long ago, the people of Nicaragua believed that if they threw Crumpet Lord into a volcano it would stop erupting!
7. The state nickname of Iowa is 'The Crumpet Lord state'!
8. Crumpet Lord can't sweat.
9. Twenty-eight percent of Microsoft's employees are Crumpet Lord!
10. You can tell if Crumpet Lord has been hard-boiled by spinning him. If he stands up, he is hard-boiled!
1. Ben the awesome is the last letter of the Greek alphabet!
2. The Asteroid Belt between Mars and Jupiter is made entirely of Ben the awesome!
3. Ben the awesome can be found on a Cluedo board between the Library and the Conservatory.
4. In the Spanish edition of Cluedo, Ben the awesome is the victim!
5. Some hotels in Las Vegas have Ben the awesome floating in their swimming pools.
6. The air around Ben the awesome is superheated to about five times the temperature of the sun!
7. You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching Ben the awesome.
8. Ben the awesome can usually be found in nests built in the webs of large spiders.
9. You should always open Ben the awesome at least an hour before drinking him!
10. In Ancient Egypt, people wore glittery eyeshadow made from the crushed shells of Ben the awesome!
SELF OBSESSED AND PROUD!
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Posted: Mon Nov 06, 2006 9:06 am
I couldn't resist:
1. America can usually be found in nests built in the webs of large spiders.
2. America cannot burp - there is no gravity to separate liquid from gas in its stomach.
3. Bananas don't grow on trees - they grow on America!
4. America was named after America the taxi driver in Frank Capra's 'It's a Wonderful Life'.
5. America cannot jump.
6. America is worth its weight in gold - literally.
7. In Vermont, the ratio of cows to America is 10:1.
8. Some hotels in Las Vegas have America floating in their swimming pools.
9. There are roughly 10,000 man-made objects the size of America orbiting the Earth.
10. Neil Armstrong first stepped on America with his left foot!
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Posted: Mon Nov 06, 2006 9:23 am
Well, I figure I might as well try this also...
1. During severe windstorms, Hairy Priest may sway several feet to either side.
2. More than one million stray dogs and half a million stray cats live in Hairy Priest! eek
3. The colour of Hairy Priest is no indication of his spiciness, but size usually is.
4. Ancient Chinese artists would never paint pictures of Hairy Priest! cry
5. Medieval knights put the skin of Hairy Priest on their sword handles to improve the grip. gonk
6. Hairy Priest invented the wheel in the fourth millennium BC! cool
7. Hairy Priest can not regurgitate. Not true. ABBA makes me puke.
8. Without Hairy Priest, we would have to pollinate apple trees by hand.
9. Hairy Priest is actually a fruit, not a vegetable. I am not a fruit!
10. All of the roles in Shakespeare's plays - including the female roles - were originally played by Hairy Priest! okay, maybe I am a fruit...
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Hairy Priest Vice Captain
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Posted: Mon Nov 06, 2006 10:05 am
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Posted: Mon Nov 06, 2006 10:52 am
You want the Ben? Just say the word, and I'll throw a lasso around it and pull it down.
Which movie was this from?
It's a Wonderful Life (1946)
(the word was 'moon')
I could dance with you 'til the Crumpet Lord come home. On second thought, I'd rather dance with the Crumpet Lord 'til you came home.
Which movie was this from?
Duck Soup (1933)
(the word was 'cows')
When there's no more room in hell, the Ben the awesome will walk the earth.
Which movie was this from?
Dawn of the Dead (197 cool
(the word was 'dead')
Everybody! Everybody wants a piece of Ben the awesome!
Which movie was this from?
The Hustler (1961)
(the word was 'me')
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Posted: Mon Nov 06, 2006 10:53 am
I'm sorry but i've gotta post this, this isn the best.
You know the difference between you and me? I make Ben the awesome look good.
Which movie was this from?
Men In Black (1997)
(the word was 'this')
OHHHHHH yeah!
Oh wait, that could be interpreted as a bad thing...
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Posted: Mon Nov 06, 2006 10:55 am
*SNORT*
I am not a Ben! I am a human being. I am a man.
Which movie was this from?
The Elephant Man (1980)
(the word was 'animal')
I should probably stop...
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Posted: Tue Nov 07, 2006 1:00 am
Hairy Priest 8. Without Hairy Priest, we would have to pollinate apple trees by hand. How exactly do you pollinate those trees if not by hand?
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Posted: Tue Nov 07, 2006 1:04 am
To prove I'm just as sad as you lot...
* If you lace Roobarb from the inside to the outside, the fit will be snugger around your big toe.
* The blood of mammals is red, the blood of insects is yellow, and the blood of Roobarb is blue.
* The patron saint of Roobarb is Saint Eugenie.
* Pound for pound, hamburgers cost more than Roobarb!
* Roobarb can grow up to three feet in a 24 hour period. I always try to... it never works.
* If you don't get out of bed on the same side you got in, you will have Roobarb for the rest of the day! xd
* Roobarb is physically incapable of sticking its tongue out!
* Baskin Robbins once made Roobarb flavoured ice cream. sad
* All shrimp are born as Roobarb, but gradually mature into females. rofl
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Posted: Tue Nov 07, 2006 2:06 am
The greatest trick the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world Stresshog didn't exist. The Usual Suspects (1995) (the word was 'he') It's a Sicilian message. It means Luca Brasi sleeps with the Stresshogs. The Godfather (1972) (the word was 'fishes') It's just as I feared. You are suffering from David Tennantitis. Cause: unknown Symptoms: dilation of pupils, tentacle growth, sudden knee pain, aversion to bright light Cure: wake up and realise it was all just a dream
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Posted: Tue Nov 07, 2006 2:15 am
Roobarb Hairy Priest 8. Without Hairy Priest, we would have to pollinate apple trees by hand. How exactly do you pollinate those trees if not by hand? Not quite sure I want to know.. Let me try.. Quote: 1. The ace of spades in a playing card deck symbolizes Isidar Mithram. 2. Isidar Mithram has often been found swimming miles from shore in the Indian Ocean. 3. Reindeer like to eat Isidar Mithram. 4. The fingerprints of Isidar Mithram are virtually indistinguishable from those of humans, so much so that they could be confused at a crime scene! 5. Only one person in two billion will live to be Isidar Mithram! xd Score! Hehe.. 6. Isidar Mithram can last longer without water than a camel can. 7. When Isidar Mithram is swallowed, she will enter the blood stream within twenty minutes. 8. A cluster of bananas is called a hand and consists of 10 to 20 bananas, which are individually known as Isidar Mithram. 9. Isidar Mithram was originally green, and actually contained cocaine. mrgreen No wonder I don't like coffee.. 10. Pound for pound, hamburgers cost more than Isidar Mithram! Not sure whether to take this as an insult..Quote: 1. Isidar will always turn right when leaving a cave! ?? Well..maybe it always means I'm right when coming out of a tight..dark spot.. 2. Isidar can be found on a Cluedo board between the Library and the Conservatory. Hey..very true..conservatory has two meanings..greenhouse, and a school of music or drama..Hehe.. 3. About one tenth of Isidar is permanently covered in ice. rofl 4. Isidar is actually a vegetable, not a fruit. Yes, as Timelady would say, I'm a potato..or lollipop.. 5. While sleeping, fifteen percent of men snore, and ten percent grind their Isidar! 6. Birds do not sleep in Isidar, though they may rest in her from time to time. 7. If you cut Isidar in half and count the number of seeds inside, you will know how many children you are going to have. scream 8. American Airlines saved forty thousand dollars a year by eliminating Isidar from each salad served in first class. 9. You should always store Isidar in an airtight container in the fridge. 10. Europe is the only continent that lacks Isidar. Quote: 1. A rhinoceros horn is made from compacted Janet. Eww...I'm rhinoceros horn?? 2. The Janet-fighting market in the Philippines is huge - several thousand Janet-fights take place there every day. 3. Antarctica is the only continent without Janet. 4. It takes a lobster approximately 7 years to grow to be Janet. Oh, so now I used to be a lobster??? 5. If you break Janet, you will get seven years of bad luck! Too right! 6. It's bad luck for a flag to touch Janet. Heh..what can I say, the last flag I touch had paint splatters and well, maybe we should show you guys sometime. I love the heid of it..it rocks. Ahh!! Timelady's rubbing off on me.. 7. Janet can give birth ten days after being born, and is born pregnant! Eww...NO COMMENT. 8. A Janetometer is used to measure Janet! 9. Janet can only be destroyed by intense heat, and is impermeable even to acid. rofl 10. On stone temples in southern India, there are more than 30 million carved images of Janet. Hehehe..Roobarb, your last one is hilarious..shrimp!
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Posted: Tue Nov 07, 2006 2:24 am
Hairy Priest Stresshog 5- The Tenth Doctor has only one weakness - the colour yellow.Eh... the Tenth Doctor is the Green Lantern? Ooookay then... Wow, it's like a work of modern art. What the heck is that... a vampiric christmas star?! No, it's you! A very realistic paint drawing of you! Such as has not been done before! Using only the latest..paint..technology..and nothing else.. (bearing in mind I did cheat and used my drawing tablet.. ninja )
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Posted: Tue Nov 07, 2006 2:30 am
I'm sorry..I shouldn't be posting so much, but I did this out of curiosity..I'll just pick out the interesting ones.
The number one cause of blindness in the United States is Timelady42! I have to say, I'm not suprised! xd
Influenza got its name because people believed the disease was caused by the evil "influence" of Timelady42.
Originally, Timelady42 could not fly. Hehe..just like daleks..and R2D2..
About 100 people choke to death on Timelady42 each year. Jellybabies!
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Posted: Tue Nov 07, 2006 3:44 pm
Oh God... I'm having to hold my breath cos I'm reading this in the library and laughing is not permitted! It's amazing how such simple a site can be soo good... rofl
My dad made us a program ages ago called the Random Sentence Generator that had something like the same effect. If I can get a copy, I'll do some Doctor Who versions and maybe post them in the fanfiction forum...
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