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Ian didn't respond for a long moment as he thought about that question.

"Fate had chosen me to watch over somebody. I failed in that duty with my dream and now fate is punishing me."

He had reached the stream and he reached in a hand to feel the water letting it flow over his hooves and looking at the watch that was a permanent fixture on his wrist. Steadily the second had counted away the minutes and he knew what his answer was.

"Time always continues to flow. People age, they die, they are reborn again. Fate has given me an eternal task of guidance for those in need. Someone here needs me."

Ian had no clue that the person that needed guidance was himself.

Ian didn't know how to answer that so he splashed water over his arms watching as a fortnight of grime slowly began to ooze off of his fur. After his arms were somewhat clean her moved onto his chest fur and then the hair on his head.

The man on the bed was dead. Both Ian and the other boy were holding each other and crying. "Dad," the younger boy had called him-

The policeman was standing there holding a wristwatch-

The car drove away leaving the cemetary behind as Uncle Sean was buried next to Ian's father leaving a crying sister behind-

The younger boy, now much older stood at a helipad smiling. "Call me when you get of the helicopter, I know you don't like flying and want to know of you are okay!" Ian smiled and nodded.

"I'll be back in a few weeks, don't worry about me!" And he boarded the waiting helicopter.

Ian saw those images in his head, all people that couldn't be protected. Who was this Ian he kept remembering.

Who was he?

"Then we fail in our duty, and that is why we are here, punishment. We are being forced to protect someone because we cannot leave here."

Ian looked at Emerwyn's face as she washed the blood off, the scent that he was familiar with coming back to him.

Who was this woman?

He saw her face in a dream, waking in a strange room and wondering when he would see her again. He had scared her last time, or maybe it was him that was scared. Craven fool, no woman could ever like a coward like him. But there she was-

"Emerwyn?" The fog was still in Ian's head, but this he knew. She was Emerwyn, just as much as she was Branwen, just as he was Cernunnos and...who?

He looked down at his reflection in the water, seeing the antlers and the snout. "I must protect myself"

He looked at her and saw the scratch on her face and felt at the hardships she must have been facing. "Emerwyn, who am I?"

Ian nodded slowly. He did need help, but deep inside of him there was this instinct that told him that only he could discover who he was. That was something he had to figure out himself.

"You are a good for nothing useless excuse for a man!" That was what they called him in high school. In anger he had dropped out, too cowardly to face what was bothering him. He had suppressed himself, molded himself into an uncaring wall. He went home every day and acted happy but inside he was hurting and day by day it got worse.

Ian reached over and touched Emerwyn's cheek looking into her eyes. "Branwen," he said slowly, "Emerwyn. Thou are both the same, and yet I can see the differences between. I am Cernunnos, but there is someone else. I have dreams Branwen. Dreams of two men, two boys. Are they my brothers? I myself cannot tell, and cannot see who else I am."

The younger boy looked up at the boy called Ian. "Ian, where are we going?"

Ian looked at his four year old brother, "you'll see soon enough." He laughed and went deeper into the forest, taking the long way around so the the sunset would light the destination just right. "Here," he gave a grand gesture and the brother gasped in delight.

"It's beautiful! Is this where you go everyday?"

"Yes, but ssshh, it is my secret spot. Don't tell anyone!"

The brother nodded eagerly. "I promise."

Failure.

Ian was scared of failure, that was what kept him from himself. He had failed too many times, was too scared to face himself when he kept failing. "Too many dreams. Dost thou dream Branwen?"

Ian removed his hand from Emerwyn's face and thought about the boys he saw.

"There are two of them. They vary in age but one can tell they are the same people." He decided that he would mention no names for the boys. "They are brothers, one is a few years younger than the other.

"The older one is happy and cheerful and takes care of the younger one a lot. Their father died of cancer when they were about eight and six. They had an older brother, he isn't in the dreams much, but he died. There was a police officer, he brought back a wristwatch." Then something clicked. Ian looked over at his wrist and his eyes clouded but he quickly looked back at the water hoping Branwen hadn't noticed his lapse.

"Then an uncle died, of cancer same as their father. The older boy dropped out of high school while the younger graduated with honors. Then the older boy was going away for a few weeks. His brother was at the helipad and I-the older boy was smiling and said he would be back."

Ian stopped and ignored the wristwatch he was wearing. He couldn't be that guy, it had to be coincidence.

Ian jerked as he heard her call him Ian. He knew that was him, but he still wasn't Ian anymore either.

James had driven him to the helipad after he had answered an advertisement in the local newspaper about a training course in medieval fighting. It having been his lifelong dream Ian had accepted without hesitation, eager to leave the droll life he led.

James had been accepted into the local university and he was studying law, but that day he had told Ian that he would see him off. For the occassion he wore a grey business suit with a red and purple striped tie, such a mundane detail but Ian remembered it clearly.

They had parked and Ian grabbed the few things he had taken with him. As James walked with him to the edge of the helipad he gave Ian a small parcel. "Open it when you get to the island." he had told him, though Ian never had remembered to open it.

"Take care of yourself James." he said dropping his luggage to embrace his brother. "Become a great lawyer for me 'kay?"

"Sure, I promise." James smiled and brushed away the moisture from his eyes. "Call me when you get of the helicopter, I know you don't like flying and want to know of you are okay!" Ian smiled and nodded.

"I'll be back in a few weeks, don't worry about me!" And he boarded the waiting helicopter.

"Ian." He sighed. "Ian is a great fool, and as I am him, I am a fool. We miss our brother dearly, but he must be much happier. He would be starting his second semester of college right about now. He is better off without me, I always hindered him. I was dumb, he was smart. He was brave, I am a coward."

He looked Emerwyn in the eyes. "The Ian you knew doesn't recognize himself. He is me now, we are Cernunnos.

"He still exists, I am still him, him still me, but he also does not exist, most of him died the day we couldn't get back to see James."

Her eyes were holding him, Ian seemed to be suspended in time but for the steady movement of the seconds.

"Only some fools learn. I was ever the fool, I never learned. Thou learned from thy foolish actions."

Ian moved a hand over to his wristwatch. "Time has no meaning, it is time that I have thrown away the past and live for the future." He fastened the watch and made to throw it into the water. "For too long have I been living in the past."

Ian could only watch as Emerwyn put the watch back on his wrist strangely fascinated with the contrast it made to his skin.

"But-" Unbidden he thought of his family, when they were all together, before Marcus and his father had died. It was then that Ian realized that all his dreams had died. Bit by bit with each death in his family another part of him had died until there was an empty shell, a shell that Cernunnos now occupied.

"I know he loves me, but he and I-" Ian hesitated before swallowing and gathering his courage. "He and I cannot be brothers. I am Cernunnos, and I am Ian Campbell. James Campbell only was a brother to Ian, and Ian died a long time ago."

He didn't now quite how to explain it to Emerwyn, about how the Ian she knew wasn't Ian at all but the amassed sum of all his fears and sorrows expressed outwardly by him Cernunnos in an attempt to rid Ian's body of those poisons.

"Ian's soul isn't here, but it will return one day. One day when he can finally get over everything. And he cannot do that if James and Marcus are both here with him."