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 Posted: Mon Jan 17, 2011 7:17 pm
You say you've never seen a sunrise.Say all these california goodbyes...
I don't really know how to put this. so I guess I'll just throw it out there.
Today I came home after an awesome weekend with all my favorite people. Last night I dyed my hair pink and purple. I absolutely adore it. When mom picked me up to go to maryland she said she liked it. the guy we had to meet said he liked it. When I finally got home, and my dad saw. he flipped out. He asked me why I would do that to my hair, and I told him because i liked it. and he just kinda shrugged it off. I came out of my room after awhile and I guess that's when he really had time to cook on it for lack of a better term and actually got angry. He told me that I looked like a Puerto Rican whore and that while I looked like this he shouldn't even let me live in his house. And at that point I just started bawling. and couldn't even say anything. And he continued on to tell me that he would never be happy with me and that he'd never be proud of me because I wasn't normal enough for him. And he thought I had some home and that I'd realized what a freak I was and changed for the better. And that I'd never be able to get a good education or make it into college. and I just stood there and cried and said I was sorry over and over again. And it's kinda funny, cause I hate my father. I absolutely despise him. He's always been a terrible father to me and both my sisters, a terrible husband. So.. I don't know why this upset me so much. :l
I just... really needed to get that off my chest.
I'm sorry I can't stick around... I know I'll miss you by sundown
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Posted: Mon Jan 17, 2011 7:38 pm
Ugh. So I tried to upload a bunch of stuff on a Sims 2 upload site, right, and they kept rejecting it for issues like screenshots being too small, etc., and this last time when I FINALLY fixed everything they told me (there were different reasons practically every time), they finally tell me the upload itself isn't good enough. rolleyes As if they couldn't have told me any of the other times and saved me the extra hours of trouble?
I don't have the skill to fix the issues they pointed out, so I'm at a dead end. I would have preferred to know that before the endless tweaks in presentation.
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Posted: Mon Jan 17, 2011 7:40 pm
I've been on the edge of just bursting into tears several times this week, but was able each time to find something happy to talk about with someone and make myself happy again. As a result the slight depression built up, and today I just started crying and could stop for anything. It didn't help that I had no one to talk to about anything, I was by myself completely and felt just really alone. This thought of being alone was amplified by what set me off in the first place. I'd decided to wait for my friends to finish eating dinner, and so was in the lobby when they came down. I waved and started to get my stuff together to go with them. All of them completely ignored me and just walked right passed me, and I heard one of them say something to the others wondering about why I was just sitting there. If it was just that they didn't notice me then that'd be one thing, but they ignored me. And they definitely saw me so that's not it either. I don't think any of them realize that they're my only friends here, which makes me really sad when they ignore me and cause me to wonder about if any of them really consider me a friend or not. If I'm just 'that one girl' that sometimes hangs around with them, maybe they don't even know that I consider them my friends. That I just hang out with them because of Tyler, him I'm pretty sure is a friend but he ignored me as well (but in his case it is possible that he didn't see me. Or at least that's what I hope.)
I don't have many friends so when I have to question wether some of the few friends I have are really my friends or not, really hurts. I want to go home. At least there I have my cat and my sister to talk to. (/curls up into ball and cries some more). The stupid thing is that I'm probably just completely overreacting about this. Which is stupid. I should've just followed them anyways, I don't know why I didn't. I guess it's good I didn't though, since I don't want to cry in front of them.
@Duckie *hugs* I'm sorry, parents can be so unreasonable sometimes. Couldn't you ask your mom to talk to him about it? Whatever the case I hope he comes around and lets you keep the pink/purple hair.
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Posted: Mon Jan 17, 2011 7:44 pm
You say you've never seen a sunrise.Say all these california goodbyes...
Mom and I did talk about it. Apparently he had something to her while I was in my room. but she didn't hear what he actually said to me. She told me she wasn't going to say she disagreed with him, but she would rather me do this now then when I actually have to be professional. And that he was turning into her father, which is her way of saying he's driving her mad as well.After it happened I really thought about just shaving my head. but. ******** him. I'm doing what I want with my hair.
I'm sorry I can't stick around... I know I'll miss you by sundown
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Posted: Mon Jan 17, 2011 8:08 pm
@Duckie: =O That's ridiculous! How could he make such a big deal about your hair?! Parents can be absolutely insane sometimes.
To be honest I've thought about dyeing my hair green. I know my mom wouldn't like it, and I know it would bring attention to me, but I dunno... I think it could be really cool if I get it done right.
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Posted: Mon Jan 17, 2011 9:00 pm
@ duckie
it's your hair, so it's your choice. And besides, dying your hair does not make you a Puerto Rican whore. To be a Puerto Rican whore, you have to be a) Puerto Rican b) a whore.
None of which apply to you. And if you're worried about your hair, don't shave it or anything-- that's really drastic. With the colors you have chosen, it'll probably wash out after two or three months (at most), even if it says permanent. The dyes aren't made very strong and people who have their hair this color have to regularly dye it to maintain the color.
So for the time being, enjoy your hair style. And when you're around your father, maybe just wear a beret (my trademark style yo) or a hat of some sort. He'll get used to it, it just sounds like he's not used to change and doesn't know how to react.
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Posted: Mon Jan 17, 2011 9:56 pm
I was in love for the longest time. I remember what it feels like. I don't remember what it felt like in the beginning. I know I can't expect it to feel like love immediately, though when it doesn't I question if what I am feeling is real.
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Posted: Mon Jan 17, 2011 11:07 pm
Song Riter227 I just got a random phone call saying that i deserved everything that happened to me this past weekend. What the freaking hell? I can't figure out who it was thanks to a voice filter + *67. What was even weirder was that right before they hung up I got "its a good thing she blew you off too, because you're not good enough for her" .... huh, talk about weird. Geez, are you in a gang or something...? What are you doing that's prompting people to kick the crap outta you and send threatening phone calls?
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Posted: Mon Jan 17, 2011 11:34 pm
Cleo=<33333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333333
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Posted: Mon Jan 17, 2011 11:39 pm
Feeling weird again. Maybe it's just finals stress. :< Wish I could draw right now or something.
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Posted: Tue Jan 18, 2011 5:50 am
Yes. Because I need that kind of nightmare before I take exams in an hour. ******** you, subconcious, ******** you.
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Posted: Tue Jan 18, 2011 6:00 am
xxx why.
do.
you.
keep.
running.
around.
narnia.
when i'm trying to get over you?
:c you're so cute and yet you're taken.
and not to mention you graduated last year.
:c you give me butterflies a lot and it's not healthy for me to have these butterflies otherwise my face goes red a lot and my heart beats a lot and i feel like i'm going to faint.
k i'll poof.
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Posted: Tue Jan 18, 2011 6:29 am
asianretart xxx
:c you give me butterflies a lot and it's not healthy for me to have these butterflies otherwise my face goes red a lot and my heart beats a lot and i feel like i'm going to faint.
k i'll poof.
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Posted: Tue Jan 18, 2011 6:38 am
I'm addicted to the song Unchained Melody. And I think of Cleo pretty much everytime I hear it. Which is a lot. redface
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Posted: Tue Jan 18, 2011 6:39 am
cave_dweller_candy asianretart xxx
:c you give me butterflies a lot and it's not healthy for me to have these butterflies otherwise my face goes red a lot and my heart beats a lot and i feel like i'm going to faint.
k i'll poof.
:c
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