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 Posted: Wed Jun 16, 2010 6:00 am
tsubaka inoue : Alrighty, well there are a couple of things here that you need to know...
1. Simple clones such as the ones you used, cannot use jutsu, and especially cannot use MULTIPLE jutsu. A clone is a distraction with an effect. they can have physical presence and use physical weapons/kunai/shuriken and such... but not jutsu (at least, not until they are higher level bunshin)
2. I don't know what that sword is, but I guarantee you it will not be accepted as a valid custom weapon. No custom weapon is allowed to absorb or reflect jutsu.
3. The largest problem with this RP Sample is that it doesn't actually show me that you know anything about the Ink Artistry Bloodline. All you did was use the Ink Clone (and then subsequently use it incorrectly). Everything else was just normal fighting and weapon use. the point of THIS RP Sample was to show use of the Bloodline, and you didn't even show me the Beast Imitation technique which is the largest part of this bloodline (or at least the one most focused on in the anime)
4. Your description of the Bloodline could also use some work... it doesn't say much in the way of the bloodline beyond that you can apparently make a 'magic carpet'... which I don't believe I ever saw Sai even do.
So unfortunately, this application is...
Denied...
You need to fix things up, supply more information, and use more of the bloodline's techniques in order to prove to me that I can trust you to use this bloodline properly.
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Posted: Wed Jun 16, 2010 6:21 am
Solitude : I still don't feel like I'm seeing what I need to see from you to approve the use of the bloodline. Sure, you showed the whole freezing aspect and used some of the Hyouton jutsu, but two of them had no real characteristics beyond being basic techniques... and the whole using the "freezing" technique to somehow make the fugitive run... it's just hazy without having any kind of jutsu behind it.
In my last comments, I know I asked for the techniques, which you gave me... but this time around, I didn't see your character using any hand seals, or the specialized one-handed hand seals either. Let's try this one more time and try to incorporate everything... One handed seals, well described attacks and more then just the basic abilities. Pretend like your character is Jounin and use it that way for the RP Sample.
Oh and please re-post your application rather then editing the old one. Thanks!
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Posted: Wed Jun 16, 2010 8:03 am
Overflowing Hatred Rpc Name: Anansi Hyuuga Village: Konohagakure Rank: Academy Student Bloodline or Clan applied for: Byakugan/Hyuuga Clan What you know about the clan/bl: It is known as the all-seeing eye. From this bloodline, the sharingan came to be. There is a blind spot at approximately the third column on the spinal cord from the top. The hyuugas are trained in the Gentle Fist technique. They can see tenketsu along the chakra stream throughout the body and attack them precisely to either halt the flow of chakra. There is a main house and a branch house of this clan. Hyuuga means "Toward the Sun". The members of the branch house are given a curse seal that makes it so that main house has complete control of them. It can only go away when they die. Rp Sample: Anansi was jumping through the trees heading back to the village after his mission. He stopped and activated his Byakugan, sensing somebody nearby, Anansi looked out of the corner of his eyes, and spotted a huge mass of chakra close behind him. He sighed and turned to face the shinobi who had been tailing him, "Come out or die" he said in an unsympathetic tone. He wasn't in the mood to deal with low class scum. The shinobi froze "So be it" he said jumping down. He ran towards the shinobi. Anansi quickly motioned his body to the left of the shinobi, and hit him with his palm in the back of his head. The shinobi passed out, and Anansi gave an emotionless expression. Suddenly, Anansi could see four more chakra masses coming towards him. "So you had back up, eh?" Anansi said as he took a fighting stance. Two of the shinobi quickly surrounded him. "You have know idea, what a Hyuuga's capable of, do you?" He asked as he spread his legs apart and put one hand closer to the ground and one hand in the air. "Eight Trigrams, sixty-four palms" he muttered. His pinkie and ring finger, on the hand that was in the air, folded to his palm while his index and middle finger stayed up.The yin/yang symbol that appeared on the ground signified he was using sixty-four palms. He ran forward. he hit the man to the left of him. He was using his left hand then his right. "Two palms." he said, hitting him twice with his index and middle finger. "Four palms" he said hitting him four times "......sixteen palms..."She said hitting the man on his right sixteen times "....thirty-two palms.....sixty-four palms!" he said, hitting the man on his right first with his left finger, while simultaneously, hitting the man on his left with his right finger, and quickly switching sixty-four times and finished by hitting the man on the right with his right palm and the man on the left with his left palm, blocking their chakra pathways. Suddenly the last two shinobi appeared both in front and behind him and threw two kunai each, "Rotation" He shouted as released chakra from all over his body and began to rotate quickly, creating an extremely strong barrier of rotating chakra, deflecting the four kunai. As soon as he stopped rotating, Anansi withdrew four kunai and threw them, with precise accuracy at the man in front of him, killing him on the spot, he then quickly ran towards the man that was behind him, "Last Resort: Eight Gates Assault" He shouted as he attacked and closed the man's eight gates. As Anansi appears behind the man, the man falls to the ground, unconscious, "You'll live, but your career as a shinobi is over" he said as he began to leave, "What is your name?" the shinobi asked. "Anansi turns around re-activating his Byakugan, "I'm Anansi Hyuuga, future leader of the Hyuuga Clan" He replied as he runs off, weary because the massive amount of chakra he used. I edited it
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Posted: Wed Jun 16, 2010 8:13 am
I'll do so in the morning. And Cobra I did it in a new post, not edited it
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Posted: Wed Jun 16, 2010 8:17 am
Rpc Name: Hatsuharu Cambrien
Village: N/A (Maybe Mist)
Rank: Academy Student
Bloodline or Clan applied for: Suigetsu's Bloodline
What you know about the clan/bl: The user gets the ability to melt down into water and travel. Suigetsu was able to increase muscle strength by increasing the size of an arm. The user is weak to Raiton and must have Suiton as their main Element. Must also continue to drink water all the time.
Rp Sample
Hatsuharu was sparring with a friend of his. So you really wanna do this Haru?" his friend said. "Just start already Yuki." At this moment, Yuki charged at Hatsuharu with his full force and began with a strong series of kicks. One towards the head, then the ribs, then the stomach, and then the head again. Hatsuharu began to dodge. He ducked down below the first to kicks, but he next kick to the stomach hit and was quickly followed up with a direct hit to Hatsuharu's face. "I thought you were good at this Haru? What happened?" Hatsuharu sat down and was silent. Something was going on in his head though. "Don't tell me your doing THAT again..." Right then, Hatsuharu opened his eyes wide and his grin grew across his face as if he was a devil. Hatsuharu was extremely Bipolar and snapped into this form when in battle.
Now that Hatsuharu had snapped, he was ready for a real fight. Hatsuharu melted down into water and quickly slithered under Yuki, rising up at his back side. "What the? Since when can you do that?" Yuki said in surprise. Hatsuharu caught Yuki off guard and slammed his fist against Yuki's jaw, sending him about 5ft away. "Haha!!! Nice try cuz!!! Now I'm going to kick your a**!!!" Hatsuharu then charged at him and picked him up by the throat. He kept going with Yuki in hand. Hatsuharu then slammed Yuki up against a tree and then kicked him in the stomach and knocked him through the tree. "Looks I won this fight...." Hatsuharu switched personalities again. He pulled out a bottle with a straw and began to suck on some water as he walked towards the village.
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Posted: Wed Jun 16, 2010 8:30 am
Violent Fox ((Edited for what will hopefully be the last time. Just so you know, in the third paragraph, it was only Pressure point strikes being used, no bursts of chakra came from her hands, that was only in the 2nd and last paragraphs. Red = Notation of what it does to the body, as well as the Chakra system)) Rpc Name: Akahana Hyuga Village: Iwagakure Rank: Academy Student Bloodline or Clan applied for: Byakugan What you know about the clan/bl: I know that it has the ability of 360 degree vision, save for one small blind spot on the back of the neck. The Hyuga clan specializes in Taijutsu, and a special fighting style known as the "Gentle Fist" which uses a series of strikes with the palms, which exert small blasts of chakra, which are used to disrupt the flow of the enemies chakra, as well as damage their internal organs. The Hyuga clan excels in chakra manipulation, and are capable of exerting chakra from various points on their bodies other than their palms. Rp Sample: The smell of blood clung tightly in the air around the two figures in the forest. A young girl, Akahana Hyuga, was clinging on tightly to her arm, blood leaking out of her newly received wound, dripping onto the floor with a soft pit pat. The rouge Ninja merely sat there, twirling his kunai around in his fingers. The man let a chuckle escape between his teeth. "Sending children now a days to carry out missions eh? And not only that but it's a girl? Iwagakure is seriously lacking in military aren't they?" The man asked, mocking Akahana. Akahana gritted her teeth together, then suddenly a smile escaped her lips. She threw her hands together, creating the horse seal, quickly channeling her Chakra into her White-Eyes. "Byakugan!" She chanted, a small explosion of Chakra erupting from her eyes. Suddenly Akahana could see everything around her. The trees that were behind her, the animals that were scurrying away into the bushes. She eased her stance, moving her leg forward into a back stance, the majority of her body wait on her back leg, while her front foot was standing on the tips of their toes. Her hands were straight, looking similar to knives with how sharp they were.
Without wasting a single moment, Akahana suddenly dashed for the man. Men like him seriously pissed her off, actually men in general bugged her. Her right hand moved back slightly as she dashed towards the man. "Hiyaa!" Akahana yelled, thrusting her arm towards the man's sternum. The man simply dodged the attack to the outside of Akahana's body. He began to drive the kunai down towards her body. Thanks to Akahana's Byakugan, she was able to see the man and the kunai, giving her the chance to react. Spinning on her heel, Akahana's left palm came up, smashing the man on the left side of his temple, releasing a short burst of chakra. The burst of chakra that was applied into the man's brain on the left side, would ultimately make his right side go numb, as well as cease the flow of Chakra coils in his brain, at least on the left side anyway. This was because the Hyuga specialized in a Taijutsu known as Juken. Juken is a seemingly gentle style, hence it's nick name the Gentle Fist. However the bursts of chakra that come with it prove to be damaging to the body, seeing as the Hyuga target pressure points, as well as Chakra points, or coilds, on their opponents body, which would cease the flow of chakra into that particular point on their body, which would render them incapable of using certain jutsu. The ultimate goal of the Hyuga Clan's Juken, or at least in Akahana's eyes, was to try and make the opponent as useless as they can be.
The man's body spun around from the force of the impact, and caused him to go into a slight daze, his right leg collapsed out from under him, forcing him to a knee. Continuing her spinning motion, Akahana was now facing the man face to face, her blade like hands, now mostly clenched, save for two fingers on each hand. Akahana was going to go all out on the man for underestimating her. Her hands darted at blinding speeds. Her hand would first strike under the right side of the mans jaw, causing his jaw to swell, making yelling a hard task, her next blow would be to the mans rip cage, causing his body to violently shift away from the strike causing his body to turn away from Akahana. The man's back was wide open. In quick succession, Akahana laid down multiple strikes up and down the mans spinal chord, the different points she struck, would cease the mans movements for the rest of his life. The incapacitated man merely sat there, knowing there was nothing he could do.
Akahana lifted her leg up, both of her hands wide open with her blade like palms. "Eight Trigrams: Empty Palm!" She bellowed. Her leg would rush forward, both of her palms slamming into the mans back, directly over where the mans central chakra flow was, his heart. Chakra exploded from her hand's in a short burst, completely sealing stopping the flow of Chakra in the coils around his heart. The force knocked the man down face first into the ground. The man lay motionless, for was merely knocked out. Akahana's hands were still held up after the motion. She walked up towards the man, and sat down on his back. Putting her hand up to her ear, she began to radio in to her Sensei. "Done." Was the only thing that escaped from the girls mouth.
Maneuvers Used:
Pressure Point Strike- because of the users training in precise striking, practitioners of this style learn to strike at the pressure points of opponents in quick precise movements. Usually this simply causes more pain than anything, but with a well placed strike the user can render whole limbs useless. (any limbs that are are struck correctly cannot be used for two posts due to the sheer pain it causes)
Eight Trigrams Empty Palm
Rank: D
Description: This jutsu is the basis of the Eight Trigrams Palms Heavenly Spin, but has a specific target rather than a general area. To perform it, the user does a palm thrust, shooting a concentrated force of chakra out of his hand, to violently push their opponent away.
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Posted: Wed Jun 16, 2010 8:30 am
Rpc Name: Axon Yamanaka
Village: Kirigakure
Rank: Acadamy Student
Bloodline or Clan applied for: Yamanaka
What you know about the clan/bl: The Yamanaka clan members are best used on recon and intelegence gathering, the abilitys granted by this blood line allow for the user to infiltrate the enemy with ease. Though the clan has powerful jutsu the main flaws wold be the speed of the clans most famous jutsu the mind transfer jutsu and that any damage done to the "Borrowed" body would also be inflicted on the jutsu users orignal body..
Rp Sample: Axon kneeled in the tree hidden by the lush green leaves, watching his prey Axon stayed still waiting for the best moment to strike. The enemy ninja stood just below the tree setting a trap for others to fall into. Once finished the enemy stood up and pulled out a scroll from his backpack. Axon finally seeing an oppertunity to strike formed the needed handsigns for the "Mind Transfer jutsu", his mental energy's shot from his body and safely landed in the other ninjas body.
Axon knew he had to work quickly, opening up the scroll he memorized the contents and rolling the scroll back up Axon sliced his finger open on the edge of the scroll, as blood began to poor out from the body he took over his orignal body developed the same wound and crimson blood rolled off of the lifeless bodys finger onto the leaves of the tree. Axon looked around sensing the enemy ninja's team coming back from a scouting trip, Axon began to dismantle the trap that the ninja had just set up. Finishing not to quickly Axon began to feel the effects of the jutsu begin to fade Axon quickly hid behind the tree and looked up at his lifeless body, it had some how manages to stay in place on the branch he was on a few minutes ago. Axon quickly canceled the jutsu, the enemy's body fell to the ground and Axon's mind returned to his body. quickly looking down Axon saw the other ninja was begining to move again, Axon quickly lept from the tree and ran off into the distance.
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Posted: Thu Jun 17, 2010 3:18 pm
{Uber}: I'm not going to approve this, I'll leave it up to Cobra since it's his guild.
{Zarase}: In the what you know section, you didn't put anything about the strength or weaknesses. The RP is also weak, try and use more of the techniques and stuff.
{Violent}: Alright, you're approved.
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Posted: Thu Jun 17, 2010 4:43 pm
Rpc Name:Arcus Memushi
Village:Cloud
Rank:Acadamy student
Bloodline or Clan applied for:Aburame
What you know about the clan/bl: Aburame are a clan of bug users. At birth they are bound to the bugs, which live in the ninja's body and feed on their charka. The bugs in turn do the ninja's bidding, requiring almost no handsigns to perform a surplus of jutsu. The bugs are completely silent and almost undetectable making them ideal for espionage. planting a female bug on a target makes them child's play to follow. The bugs have a life span of approximately 6 hours which means they have an exceedingly high evolution rate. This means that at any given time, an aburame can call forth bugs for a multitude of different things. (bugs for destorying tissue, bugs for anti-venoms, etc)
Rp Sample:Arcus saw the punch coming and had more than enough time to block it, but he wanted his bugs free and he felt this was a perfect opportunity. Arcus brought his bugs to the surface of his face just as the punch connected, not only cushioning the blow, but also coating the assailants hand with his beetles. Arcus grinned, for now the fun would begin.
His bugs began to feed on the man's chakra greedly, but the man continued to attack, as if he didn't notice. Arcus dodged blow after blow before performing a replacement jutsu to get out of the range of the man's fist. He clearly had too much chakra. Arcus appeared a short distance away, slamming his hands onto the ground and allowing bugs to leave the sleeves of his jacket. The assailant stared at the advancing bugs with amusement in his eyes. He kicked at them, and mocked their size. That was a mistake, for within seconds his kicks slowed and his breathing became labored. He noticed his energy depleting as the bugs climbed up his feet and legs.
He stomped and he swiped, but the more he struggled, the more bugs attached. mushi dama should end this Arcus thought, ready to finish what he started. The bugs not already attached took flight, surrounding the panicking man. He began to scream and plead, fear and weakness in his eyes. Arcus frowned as his bugs slammed into the man, knocking him over. They coated him, and finished sucking him dry. Death isn't pleasant, but the job got done. Arcus thought as he pushed up his dark glasses and walked away, several hundred bugs trailing behind him.
((ooc I should probably point out that if I get approved, I'm gonna change my character's last name to aburame. I'm also going to change his bio to reflect him having been brought up by bug tamers.))
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Posted: Thu Jun 17, 2010 6:14 pm
Rpc Name: Kajime Fuzen
Village:Cloud
Rank:Academy Student
Bloodline or Clan applied for:Chiroku clan's Anigan
What you know about the clan/bl: Ikari Chiroku was the first person to obtain the Anigan. It gives the appearance of yellow eyes and narrow irises resembling a cat. The bloodline allows users to gain the attributes of animals they laid their eyes upon and heighten their senses. Hands signs aren't required to activate it, but chakra is used throughout activation. The stages can increase from copying an animals natural ability to all out transformation. However, all users gain both good and bad qualities of the animals such as lack of speed when shifting to a turtle or inability to jump when resembling an elephant. The clan's abilities make them ideal for stealth missions and spying.
Rp Sample: Kajime glanced at another students cat as he was slammed face down by his opponent. Luckily, his Anigan was activated all throughout the fight. He smiled and jumped high before connecting a kick with his opponents face. A few seconds later, he used his catlike agility to run behind the unlucky person and pounced on his back. He smiled and laughed with satisfactory.
The academy teacher quickly stopped the spar. He checked the boys back and shook his head. Kajime closed his eyes before reopening them back to their normal grayish color. With that win, Kajime's record was 11-0. He got up and walked to the side of the arena, chuckling at the whole ordeal. "Is there any worthy student here? I MEAN I'VE FACED ALMOST HALF OF THE STUDENTS HERE AND SO FAR I'VE DESTROYED THEM...weaklings...". He spat on the floor before sitting down and frowned as the medical team rushed in.
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Posted: Thu Jun 17, 2010 9:46 pm
Third times a charm zarase Rpc Name: Axon Yamanaka Village: Kirigakure Rank: Acadamy Student Bloodline or Clan applied for: Yamanaka What you know about the clan/bl: The Yamanaka clan members are best used on recon and intelegence gathering, the abilitys granted by this blood line allow for the user to infiltrate the enemy with ease. Though the clan has powerful jutsu the main flaws wold be the speed of the clans most famous jutsu the mind transfer jutsu and that any damage done to the "Borrowed" body would also be inflicted on the jutsu users orignal body. Another flaw with the yamanaka clan is the fact that most of the jutsu are passive and cause no direct damage and can easily be negated. Rp Sample: Axon was kneeling in a tree prepairing to pounce on two enemy ninja, one was slightly large and had a massive sword in his hand while the other was skiny and had no visible weapon. Performing the required handseals Axon used the "Mind Derangement jutsu." targeting the larger of the two ninja. Landing the jutsu Axon smirked as the larger ninja began to attack the smaller ninja causing massive harm to his teammates body. Axon cancled the jutsu after the beating was done, coming to his sences the larger ninja looked around in blind anger "Who are you?! SHOW YOURSELF!!!" Axon couldent help but smile at his confusion but his smile quickly vanished when another ninja showed up, the ninja was of average height and size but looked a lot more experenced then the other two. Axon came up with a plan while the two ninja discussed what happend, Quickly forming the needed hand signs Axon performed the "Mind Body Transfer Jutsu." on the larger ninja, safely landing in the body Axon slashed the large sword at the experenced ninja not allowing for an easy dodge. Quickly and skillfully the experenced ninja moved his hands onto the blade and jumped with the slash allowing for minimal damage to be done. Axon jumped back at the failed attempt and smirked "Your team has failed you and for the mistakes they made you will die." quickly going for another attack the experenced ninja puled out a kunai and threw it at Axons hand, piercing his hand Axons attack was stopped cold in its tracks and the sword fell out of his hands. Blood driped from Axon's fresh wound, while the same type of injury took form on Axon's orignal body, The experenced ninja quickly launched a punch at Axon's chest but missed hitting Axon's hand which had moved to intercept the blow. Axon knew he had very little time and chakra left so he had to move quickly. Wraping his hands around the enemy ninjas arm Axon swung him over his head and onto the ground face up Axon hrew a powerful punch at the experenced ninjas face causing instant death. falling backward Axon felt his grasp over the body fade with the last of his strength he looked over at his body up in the tree and felt his mental energys return to his own body. The larger ninja gained controll of his body and saw that his sensei was dead right infront of him he let out a deafining roar, "I WILL AVENGE YOU SENSEI." Axon up in the tree was to weak to take on another enemy so he came up with a plan throwing a smoke bomb at the enemy ninja Axon jumped as soon as the smoke released and ran to where him and his team were to meet up.
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Posted: Fri Jun 18, 2010 12:18 am
Rpc Name: Orikage Deevo
Village: Mist
Rank: Academy Student
Bloodline or Clan applied for: Hyoton Kekkei Genkei
What you know about the clan/bl: Ice Release is created when the user combines wind and water to create ice. Unlike Yurikage shinobi who use preexisting ice to use Hyoton, ninjas like Haku combined water and wind to create ice.
Rp Sample: Orikage studied his enemy, the Akatsuki Kyouza. I never thought I had to use my secret power... he thought panting. Kyouza himself wasn’t hurt at all! Orikage raised one hand in a Tiger seal. “Hyouton!” Orikage shouted. He forced more chakra into his hand as the nearby water bodies grew upwards. “Raido” The water froze into a sufficient amount of ice to create more jutsu. Orikage raised his hand in a Tiger seal again “Hyouga Bunshin no jutsu” he whispered as two ice clones appeared. Ontop of that he continued, “Mizu Bunshin no Jutsu” Two water cloned then appeared. Kyouza seemed surprised as the five look-alikes jumped up to hit him. He knew what to do. “Katon, Goukakkyuu no jutsu!” he shouted as a burst of flame erupted.
The original Orikage jumped back as he tried to save his clone. Unfortunately the water jutsus had melted while the ice ones were half gone. “Now I can tell whos who!” Kyouza shouted as he jumped up doing the ninjutsu again. Orikage jumped up as he broke a piece from his ice bodies. “Koorikoku!” Orikage shouted as he carved many halberds and threw them in the direction of Kyouza. He in return kicked the deliveries in the air. He was surprised by the disappearance of Orikage when he noticed him above himself. “ Suiton: Bakusui Shōha!” Orikage shouted as he spat out an ocean of water. Kyouza drowning in the water said, “ Katon: Gōryūka no Jutsu ” A dragon emerged from the water towards Orikage. He dodged it with much difficulty. He flinched as he noticed Kyouza in close-combat saying, “ Katon: Gōen Rasengan ” His hand with the fiery red Rasengan met Orikage as he fell into the water by the impact of the attack.
Orikage still in the affect of the Fire Rasengan, raised on hand and said, “ Hyougai no Jutsu !”the ocean froze as he jumped out in a armor of ice. Kyouza didn’t notice when Orikage jumped infront of him. He grinned angrily as Orikage drew out his katana, slashing Kyouza. “ Shikki Kansei No Jutsu ” Orikage shouted again raising a one-hand seal as the whole ocean raised up to the air, speeding towards Kyouza. He was successfully frozen as Orikage scooped up water in his hand, and one-hand seal in the other saying, “ Hyougatama ” He threw the ball of water at Kyouza as it was fixed on his head. Orikage walked away leaving him to lose breath.
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Posted: Sat Jun 19, 2010 7:25 am
Kuroteisei Rpc Name:...The bugs have a life span of approximately 6 hours which means they have an exceedingly high evolution rate. This means that at any given time, an aburame can call forth bugs for a multitude of different things. (bugs for destorying tissue, bugs for anti-venoms, etc)... This is not the way the bugs work, unless for some reason they added that into the clan info. the bugs, really just eat chakra. I don't think the poison bugs (which in Naruto are very rare) have been included in the Aburame's skills. The bugs are useful for blocking attacks, and distractions. They are also used for tracking, because female bugs are naturally tracked by the males... The only thing that the 6 hour lifespan really means in this rp, is that the bugs die after 6 hours. so you can't, for instance, track someone indefinitely without replanting bugs. Sorry, you pmed me for help so I came to look at your app. This is probably what would get you denied... Of course... I'm not crew, so you can take what i say with a pinch of salt. Though in this case I wouldnt recommend it. Edit: sorry for butting in there Cobra smile
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