Welcome to Gaia! ::

He is a homebody... When he takes drives, I am either with him, or it is the signal that something is up (like Sunday)...

He doesn't spend much time on the internet... He likes to play games, but it's something we both do, most of the time together... Hasn't been much time for it recently.

He watches porn sometimes, but it isn't very often, and he doesn't hide the fact... We watch it together sometimes to get ideas.

He doesn't chat, post in forums, or any other overly personal for of e-communication... He gets on Facebook sometimes, but he only keeps about 30 close friends and family on there...

We know all of each others' passwords, it has just always been like that.

Actually, after we calmed down and talked, Monday afternoon, things have been different, and I can honestly say, I kinda like it...

I mean, we decided to get to know each other from scratch, and we have talked more about ourselves to each other more in the last couple days than we have in the last couple years... We have both been surprised at what we have had to say to each other...

I think we had got to that point where we were just taking each other for granted... I was getting more and more stressed at having to keep house and take responsibility for everyone, and he was just expecting me to because "...that is what wives do..." ...and to be honest... That is the same reason I kept doing them.... Because that is what I watched my mom do growing up.

When we shifted to roommate status, he is stepping up and doing the things that I have wanted help with for so long... and don't get me wrong, our sex life was never lacking, but the real discussion that doesn't have anything to do with dinner, netflix, games, or money is worth the break from sex... and the fact that the house is not solely my burden anymore makes the idea that we are just roomies at this point bearable...

It seems we have been open physically from the get go, but we keep trying to live to the standard that we think the other expects of us... I can't say I am not guilty either, now that I look back...

I was struggling to live up to my mother's fundamental values when we met, and he always felt he had corrupted me, because I am don't believe that way anymore... I always knew that he blamed himself for a change that he thought I would never have accepted without him... and I he could be right, but I can't see that as a bad thing... Because I knew he felt bad, and I didn't know how to convince him it wasn't a bad thing, I just tried to pretend I wasn't as different as I am now, from the day we met... but I am soooo different.

I realized when he started becoming everything I have wanted him to be overnight, that I had bottled up too, and I was/am embarrassed of some of the things I had kept in. I don't know if ,when we let everything out and mix, if it will be a healthy mix or a toxic one.

I pray so hard that it will be us to the end... not an end to us... but right now, I just don't know.

Love, always finds a way to get over the hurdles.

You both will be able to figure out what to do, if you point your minds to it.

ALSO... -cuddles- ^^ Odd, but hey, I like giving cuddles ;D

Traditions are good for two things(I have only found two good things for them); remembering the past, and breaking the future. "Those who don't remember the past, are doomed to repeat it." Nice saying, but I say, sadly; those who live in the past are doomed to repeat it.

My findings are that, families that split the household chaos(chores) are more likely to get along, as long as they aren't sharing the chores. What I mean by sharing, doing the same thing twice or at the same time.

When it was just Husband go out and kill big animal, wife stay back and cook, clean, and raise Tantu... Our mother's way of doing such was fine. But, since then it isn't just the male that goes out to kill, but the female as well. And asking the wife to do everything is one sided.

A few years ago a pastor said, as part of his Sunday speech.
The five things that keep a family together, are
1. communication... you don't like something... speak, though don't nag about it. Instead have a open conversation.
2. Faith ... sadly I forget this one.... sad
3. Date often ... just because the two are married doesn't mean the dates have to end. In fact time away from responsibility(house, kids, dog, the strange neighbor with the russian acsent) are good
4. Have a night with the guys/girls... time away from each other, again with out any responsibilities
5. I forget what this one was but the message was...do something together that isn't sex... like pray, read, cuddle, exercise, see who is a better archer...

Now I know, my working experience with relationships is about as useful as a, slinky on a level floor. But, I hope something in my ramblings made sense. and I shall pray that it works out

Tantu, is a on the spot made up name, like how people say "John Doe" or Little Johnny. In this case, I meant the child of the pair.

I think, it means silk in some language.

I would suggest you do what you did in college. Sort of. As long as it is not an ancient family bible, like the two hundred year old one I have and just refound in my attic, then use a highlighter. Keep a journal next to you and use a highlighter when necessary.

Uhm. Have you looked at bibles on tape so that you can listen to it rather than read it?

You're still welcome in this guild. You're my friend whatever you believe. Feel free to post what kind of questions you have in the guild.

Ah I get what you mean by that. Sometimes it can be helpful seeing how someone else sees it or gets to that point, can be helpful, which is why I mention it. But yes it would ultimately be from someone else's perspective.

Well when you start eating babies let me know I've been curious about the taste lol wink j/k