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 Posted: Fri May 15, 2009 9:41 pm
Those parts that are like, "The wind was gone from my lungs and I was dead and I had died and the world was gone-gone-gone, and I breathed, and I was alive.", did you write them like that on purpose? All those and's are somewhat annoying, in my opinion.
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Posted: Fri May 15, 2009 9:52 pm
Also, on the last story, I don't think they had Euros in that time period...if they're in England it'd be Pounds...or however you spell it.
It is WW2 era, correct?
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Posted: Fri May 15, 2009 10:06 pm
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Posted: Fri May 15, 2009 10:16 pm
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Posted: Sat May 16, 2009 2:23 am
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Posted: Sat May 16, 2009 6:46 am
Maybe I should expand on that sniper's tale . . .
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Posted: Sat May 16, 2009 5:02 pm
Everything there that you read was written in a particular way for a reason. I wrote that one part in St. Michael's Prayer to convey the sense of urgency and panic, to establish a fast pace by utilizing a run-on sentence. And yes, I meant to have "dollars" instead of "euros". I'll edit them when I can to manage consistancy, but until then, what did you think?
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Posted: Sat May 16, 2009 6:02 pm
It looked pretty good. My only quarrel is the currency, but that's not too big a deal.
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Posted: Sat May 16, 2009 8:07 pm
I saw the greastest movie I have seen in a long time today, Ian, Mike you two were correct, Star Trek was amazing.
Oh and great stories Mike, I loved them. xD
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Posted: Sat May 16, 2009 8:42 pm
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Posted: Sat May 16, 2009 10:41 pm
Alright, so I'll write a few more about Anthony Rinaldi and then maybe I'll do some sort of Epilogue, and then submit it. That, and I need to come up with a name.
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Posted: Sat May 16, 2009 10:52 pm
Good luck with a title...I'm always terrible with them.
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Posted: Sun May 17, 2009 4:59 am
Okay, sorry for myyesterday's MIA. Travelled through half of Finland. Made a post, but I know it lacks in length and the level I could achieve.
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Posted: Sun May 17, 2009 6:15 am
Yeah, I think my posts are slack because i am sick of how long this thing is taking... XD
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Posted: Sun May 17, 2009 6:39 am
I like your new colour, mate. razz
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