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Kitsune Ketz Kwineight Captain
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 Posted: Thu Dec 17, 2009 8:59 pm
Oh wow, that's awful... D: And it wasn't really a super phobia like thinking the car was gonna hurt me or anything... it was more like a general uncomfortableness I've always had with cars, that came from a lot of things. First off, they were big, loud machines that moved. I did not like those kinds of things when I was little, which included vacuum cleaners and the like. Secondly, I got carsick easily, and cars were super hot inside because of being in Arizona, so I hated being in them. Thirdly, yes, I was terrified of getting into accidents, because I'm a paranoid person who has always been afraid of bad things happening, like house fires and things being stuck by lightning. Didn't help that I've been in like five somewhat-serious-to-serious accidents in my lifetime. So I kind of just didn't feel comfortable around cars, and didn't trust them... it took me forever to get the courage to even learn how to drive, and I still don't like doing so. Heck, when I was little, if I was playing outside and a car drove by, I would have to run up to the house instead of the sidewalk or yard, because I was afraid of it going crazy and hitting me. XD;;
Oh... wow... heheh... pft... um... that story you're speaking of... remember how I said Being Dead Ain't Easy was my second-favorite fanfiction, but that I wouldn't send you my first-favorite because it didn't finish...? That was Inescapable You. XD It's like my all-time favorite fanfiction! I hadn't realized that it had updated and finished now, because it had been so long since an update! I need to reread it and finish it now! crying
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Posted: Thu Dec 17, 2009 9:13 pm
Haha, the things you listed as bothering you as a kid TOTALLY didn't bother me then but bother me now. Vacuums, lawnmowers, vehicles with excessively loud engines - can't stand them. I also didn't really get carsick as a kid, but I do now.
I'm also very paranoid, but I kind of just take life as a giant roulette wheel, an epic game of Wheel Fortuna. I won't do things that are just completely stupid or idiotic, but I don't let myself be scared away from situations and objects because I feel that if Lady Fortuna wants to get me, she probably will, so why make myself crazy trying to avoid the inevitable? I therefore usually reserve my paranoia for people - and just being mistrusting and suspicious, hahaha. I've gotten much better at that, obviously, or I wouldn't even be in here. I've been on Gaia for 2-3 years now and have only recently started using it to interact with people other than the few friends from offline who made the account for me anyhow. It's been nice, and I wonder why the heck I avoided it for so long, haha. Also, as far as "terrifying objects/places" - they kind of console me when I'm feeling depressed - like taking a walk in an unlit park at 3am. Yes that's very stupid, but I guess that's part of why I do it, fear of creepers in the bushes pulls me right out of my miserable apathy.
I try not to do that stuff anymore though, like I said, it is stupid. And at this point I'm not trying to get myself killed, so the adrenaline rush isn't exactly worth it just to get myself out of a bad mood...~_~
HAHAHA...YAY I got to read your favorite story! YES, it is finished now, since June 2008 actually, hahaha. At least it's marked as complete - aww man if the last chapter says "I quit" I'll just be sad - it'd better not do that, even if you are never planning on finishing a story you shouldn't misleadingly say it's complete!!! Not without putting a note into the first chapter AND OMG I AM PANICKING NOW!!! Hahaha oye ~_~, ok well I'm just going to go read and ignore probably insane little panic bubble. But yes, thus far I have to say, awesome favorite story choice. It's been my favorite (within YGO) as well, guess we'll see how it ends but it'd have to end pretty horribly for me to take that back I think.
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JuokasKurvas Vice Captain
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Kitsune Ketz Kwineight Captain
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Posted: Fri Dec 18, 2009 3:17 pm
That's funny, because those things don't bother me so much anymore. XD
I think I'm far more paranoid of the weather and carbon monoxide and house fires and robbers and such than I am of actual objects or people these days. XD
But dude, that is dangerous. o.o Glad you're not doing it so much anymore.
Also glad you're feeling more comfortable on Gaia! ^^
Wow, it had gone like a year without updating at one point, so I had like given up on it! ;_; I'm so happy!! I actually glanced at the very end of the last chapter to make sure and it said something like, "So yeah, that's it. Hope you liked it." so I think it does finish. =D *excited to reread* I agree though, even a relatively lame ending would still be okay with how awesome the rest of the story is.
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Posted: Fri Dec 18, 2009 5:46 pm
I think it's more they irritate me now and didn't phase me then, I've gotten worse at tuning noise out I think.
I guess I'm more worried about my friends stabbing me in the back figuratively than a robber literally doing it, haha...yay priorities! And yea, although man I'm so tempted to do it again. Got my first grad school rejection letter today...hooray!! Not crying sweatdrop . Bah, oh well. Guess I'll wait to hear on the rest before I take up old dark habits ~_~.
Oh good, glad you have checked because I was too afraid too, and glad that it has been worked on and finished. And glad I inadvertently pointed you back to your favorite story, haha...yay fun coincidences!!!
BTW...on the topic of dreams, I had an anime dream last night! Hehe, it was FMA (Fullmetal Alchemist) not YGO, but still, yay!
Also, the EI report just popped up which made me think of how much this thing depresses me now. Can we have a plausible explanation for turning Timmy back into a kid and just do that? Because this is such crap! And adult Timmy is fugly!!! There is just no silver lining here!
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JuokasKurvas Vice Captain
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Kitsune Ketz Kwineight Captain
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Posted: Sat Dec 19, 2009 7:12 pm
Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. D: But you've still got a lot more schools to receive letters from, right?
Yay, fun coincidences are awesome. X3 I'm rereading it right now.
I've had a couple YUU*GI*OU-ish dreams for the past couple nights, but it was mostly just dreams that happened to have a YUU*GI*OU part in them. I hardly remember them now.
I feel so bad for Timmy! D: I hate Singh, and I just want him to have a normal life now... even if he could find happiness as an adult, I can live with that, though I would prefer if he was able to be a cute little kid again.
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Posted: Sun Dec 20, 2009 9:27 pm
I've mostly been having trippy dreams that have been creeping me out so that was a nice break. And yea, 2 for sure and then I have 4 more where the apps aren't done yet because I was waiting for an extra letter, which I'm glad I'm doing now. This letter will have more weight than my other letters of rec I think (just b/c this professor is actually in my major and the other 2 weren't). I didn't want to wait for it (because as I'm only getting it next week it obviously was taking a LONG time) so I sent off my top choices with writing samples, but oye, I'm nervous now.
I'm on the last chapter now! Has been awesome all the way to this point so I've been quite happy. I'll definitely finish it before I go to bed tonight, but yea, let me know when you finish.
Yea I'd be fine with adult Timmy if it wasn't just so PATHETIC and making me all depressed and miserable for him. I'd prefer cute kid Timmy as well (or less creepy looking adult Timmy whose less creepy) but just anything but this. I never liked Singh, but yes, I definitely hate her now, jerk!!! I'm pretty sure that she doesn't have a soul!!! That was the worst part thus far, the whole guy "you don't have a soul Timmy!" How could they do that!!!
Oh, this reminds me of a comic I need to make, haha. I made a comic about the time me and 3 of my friends/coworkers went to watch the DVD Jesus Christ Superstar - which was the show running at the theater we worked concessions at. That comic featured my catholic friend being like WHY ARE THERE DANCING HIPPIES and then the part where my atheist friend assured her before we watched the movie that "no, the cruxifiction is not in the movie" - which it so apparently is! She was the only one of us 4 who'd seen it, so it's not like me and the other girl just let her mislead our friend for kicks. Her face was pretty funny though when she whipped around to glare at the end during the Crucifixion and our atheist friend was like "oops, I forgot." Minor detail right? ~_~
But yea I never made a comic to commemorate the convo ensuing after - basically my Catholic friend saying Judas committed suicide, thus he went to Hell. My Atheist friend staunchly argued that no he did not, that God would have understood and forgiven Judas - you know, if God exists, which he doesn't (this is what she said - I am "searching" so far as religious status goes and not sure what my opinion on this argument would be, though I tend to lean towards the forgiving Judas thing). It's just funny, for an Atheist she's pretty firm on how religious doctrine "really" is. Ok well that was randomly off topic but I swear the tangent makes sense in my head. So I'm going to at least go make notes now so I don't forget to make this comic tomorrow (if I don't get to it tonight).
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JuokasKurvas Vice Captain
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Kitsune Ketz Kwineight Captain
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Posted: Mon Dec 21, 2009 3:59 pm
I'm sure the letter will help then! Best of luck to you!
I'm hoping to finish it tonight, but I have the Christmas event to finish still, some chores and responsibilities to take care of, roleplaying to do, a few more gifts to buy... friggin business ended up not going away, even when school did. XD
Seriously! I wish we could like... talk to Timmy... I'm sure so many Gaians would give him encouragement and tell him how much he's loved! crying It was kind of funny when he mutated and such, but now it's just getting ridiculous! *hugs him* I don't care if he's old and creepy, he's one of my favorite characters! I bet the only reason Timmy 'doesn't have a soul' is because friggin Singh sucked it out of him!
I didn't know Jesus Christ Super Star was on DVD! I've always wanted to see it! XD;; Though I'd have to watch it on the computer with headphones, because my parents are like super super hardcore Christian. My friends were helping us decorate for Christmas, and one of them put a "HoHo" magnet on a metal cross we had hanging up, and they ended up taking it down because it bothered them. XD;; I mean... I almost hung up a friggin Santa Clause shaped like a star (so it looked like his arms were spread like being crucified) on the cross, so that seemed really tame in comparison.
But I digress, that sounds pretty funny, between your two friends. XD I'm kind of in the same boat as you in regards to my beliefs. I grew up in such an insanely Christian household, that it was kind of drilled into my brain. Only for about the past couple years have I been questioning my faith, and in that time I've gone from deciding not all of God's laws were right, or they were misinterpreted, to the Bible is mostly not the word of God, but written by bigots, to Christianity is highly unlikely to be true, considering how many religions it has to compete with and how contradictory it is, to I believe in a god, just not the Christian god, to I believe in some form of nature spirit, and finally to does a god even exist? It's been a hell of a few years with that. XD;; I'm still at the point of questioning if God, Heaven, and Hell exists, but I definitely don't believe in the ones that the Bible describes, as well as the ones described in any other major religions. And you know what? I feel far more at peace like that. Yes, I'm still confused in sorting things out, but I was always told that people who didn't have the Christian God in their heart had something missing, and always felt and emptiness and weren't able to be happy. But now that I've given up on trying to please some mysterious spirit by being a perfect person, I feel happier, and less paranoid. I was always so worried about not sinning, and if I was a bad person for not going to church (haven't gone to church since elementary school, because it would give me panic attacks), that I never felt an actual connection with this so-called god. I just felt like I wasn't worthy of his love, but you know what? Now I think he's not worthy of my love, because I no longer think he even exists! XD;; Ahem, anyway...
Had my own tangent there. I don't think people are punished for committing suicide... Judas did so because he was so horrified with what he did to Christ, right? It's almost like a means of repentance... it's sad, and not necessarily right, but how can that be considered evil?
Heehee, I have an extremely atheist friend who is a lot like that. XD He's hilarious. He actually argues that you can't prove God doesn't exist, because you can't prove a negative, logically, yet he doesn't believe in any god. He was so proud when I told him I was no longer Christian. XD;;
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Posted: Mon Dec 21, 2009 4:17 pm
If you mean the Gaia Christmas event you have until Wed - though I'm trying to finish it today too just to be done. I meant to do shopping today as well, but it's 4pm and I'm still in my PJs and robe sooooooo I don't foresee that happening. Maybe though, don't really feel like going out after dark (which is about 5pm now) but Borders/Best Buy aren't that far and that's primarily where I wanted to go.
Yea it was interesting at first but I didn't realize it'd become such a sadistic torture fest, I mean sadist that I am and even I can't take it!!! Hopefully the Timmy saga goes somewhere less depressing eventually.
Yes, there is a movie version, which is pretty good. Worth having to just watch it with headphones.
Yea, I mean there is just too much room for corruption, and I don't think I'd ever follow anyone organized religion - more just take what precepts and teachings I find to be most inspiring and relevant to bettering humanity and form my own connection to spirituality and what that might mean for me. See my parents - especially my mom - got the over religion thing - which chased them both from the church (my mom still believes, just not in the Catholic church, my dad is primarily atheist now though - or perhaps agnostic), and they wanted us kids to make up our own minds, but it's kind of weird chasing religion as your own personal adventure - but I guess it's better than having ideals imposed upon me without being able to sort my own thoughts. I dunno that I believe in a specific God, I just believe that there is perhaps something more.
Yea, suicide is probably not the right answer, but I don't think it's something you'd be eternally punished for. Being lost and confused and in pain is not evil.
Yea, my friend is funny - but I mean not being religious is one thing, but there is no point in disrespecting people who are, and she does kind of do that sometimes. She preached on and on about how Christianity is such a cult with our Catholic friend (not the one we watched the movie with - she's a loud mouth and wouldn't just sit there and listen, but this girl is really shy and quiet and probably actually much more dedicated to her beliefs) sitting in the back of the car.
I think not believing or believing how you want is fine - belief should be personal anyhow. Sure you can share it, but it shouldn't be this imposed system - I mean how is it "belief" if it's forced?
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JuokasKurvas Vice Captain
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Kitsune Ketz Kwineight Captain
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Posted: Mon Dec 21, 2009 4:41 pm
Yes, I know. I still want to get it out of the way though. XD Yeah, no way I'm getting out of the house today. Still not cleaned up either, and I'm an hour ahead.
Seriously! It's not even the fun kind of torture! D:
Exactly! That's exactly how I feel about religion, finding what seems right to you for humanity and such.
And yeah, I think if I'm anything, it would be agnostic. Or perhaps deist... still figuring it out!
Yeah, I don't think atheists should be so disrespectful of Christians, just as Christians shouldn't be so disrespectful of atheists... isn't the whole point of this faith thing supposed to be love and understanding or something? Where does all the hate come from between these people? Why can't they just accept that not everyone believes the same things as them?
Oh wow, that's a great quote... can't believe I've never heard it/thought of it before. "How is it "belief" if it's forced..." I like it. :3 Need to write that one down.
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Posted: Mon Dec 21, 2009 5:15 pm
I've never heard the quote elsewhere, but I can't I'm imagine I'm original in coming up with it, it seems to obvious - but then again, you'd think it'd be obvious for hate to not be such a big part of something that is indeed supposed to be about love, tolerance and personal growth.
I feel like belief wise I'd be more than agnostic, just less organized? Don't know if that makes sense. I find that I do not need nor even want everyone to believe as I do, so yes, I don't see why people can't just learn to embrace differences. It's so cliche, but it's just true.
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JuokasKurvas Vice Captain
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Kitsune Ketz Kwineight Captain
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Posted: Tue Dec 22, 2009 7:26 pm
True, true. XP
Yeah, I think I get what you mean.
Well dur, who would want to all be the same? The world would be boring that way. I mean, if I was only friends with people who had the same religious belief as me, I probably wouldn't have any, because I'm in such a changing state of opinions right now. XD;;
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Posted: Tue Dec 22, 2009 9:47 pm
Sorry, we can't be friends right now...maybe later though, I might be able to be friends with you later...^_~.
I'm about 97% sure that "Christian duty" wasn't meant to entail making others completely miserable...but who knows, I could be wrong.
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JuokasKurvas Vice Captain
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Kitsune Ketz Kwineight Captain
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Posted: Wed Dec 23, 2009 3:56 pm
Dang...
Only a 3% chance of that though. ;D
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Posted: Wed Dec 23, 2009 5:46 pm
Yea, but it's apparently a VERY influential three. If it wasn't for that three we wouldn't have Crusades movies starring pretty boy Bloom though, and where would the world be without THAT artistic genius.
Haha, ok critical sarcasm aside, I did enjoy that movie enough. Still would prefer to keep Bloom forever in the long blond wig with his bow and arrows, but whatever... razz
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JuokasKurvas Vice Captain
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Kitsune Ketz Kwineight Captain
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Posted: Thu Dec 24, 2009 8:59 pm
I won't be someone who denies how much I enjoy when Bloom is in movies, simply because of how hot he is. XD And it's best when we get scenes like him being whipped in Pirates of the Caribbean... *evil*
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