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Pure Acid Dreamer Captain
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 Posted: Thu Oct 31, 2024 7:29 pm
Turning in the males’ arms, he clung to him like his life depended on it. In a way it felt as though it did. The last twelve or so hours had not been very kind to his mental health. He felt like he could no longer understand neither Kieran nor Abel; not that there was ever a great understanding of either man before. As he buried his face against the males’ chest, he felt Abel’s hands at his back while his chin pressed into his shoulder. It hadn’t been an absolute rejection, but it wasn’t an acceptance either. Jakob didn’t know how to describe what he felt for Abel. He wasn’t even sure if it was worthy of being called love, though Kieran certainly seemed to think so. He wondered when exactly he started to feel this way. What petty fight led him to seeing Abel in this new light.
Breathing in the male’s scent, Jakob felt himself starting to calm down. He wasn’t ready to show his face or answer any questions. He’d prefer it if they could just stay like this. He wished they could just go back to this morning, before all the fighting and the confusion. They could still be laying in his bed with hardly a care. Letting out a soft sigh, he opened his eyes and loosened his hands a little as they started to cramp. It seemed his little tantrum was over just as quickly as it started.
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Posted: Sat Nov 02, 2024 11:37 pm
⋮ ۩ ) • • • ❛ 𝙅𝙪𝙙𝙜𝙚, 𝙅𝙪𝙧𝙮 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙀𝙭𝙚𝙘𝙪𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙧.❜Holding onto Miguel, he relaxed against him. Abel too didn't understand his feelings. Love was new to him. He hadn't ever allowed himself to love. Abel usually only kept a few close and such love for them wasn't the same. He feared love in a way, those he loved even in family relationships had come into horrors. Abel held onto Miguel until he calmed down. He eventually felt Miguel calm down and loosened his hold. Abel didn't mind holding onto him until he felt better. He wasn't sure what to say though they would need to talk however he was sure they were beyond talking right now.
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xDarkWinterx Vice Captain
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Pure Acid Dreamer Captain
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Posted: Sun Nov 03, 2024 12:20 am
Calmness washed over him as Abel held him. He hated how he had that effect on him. Jakob could be in the worst mood or having a miserable day, and all it took was one gesture from him and everything was okay again. He could venture a few guesses on why Abel might reject his confession. It didn't make it hurt any less. He'd rather they just stand here and pretend none of that just happened. However, it wouldn't surprise him at all if the other was unwilling to drop it so easily. Jakob held on a few minutes more before gently pulling away. Turning from Abel he grabbed some tissue from the nearby roll. Dabbing at his eyes and wiping his face, he soon glanced towards Abel. "Why did you say that?" he asked softly. Jakob tried to keep an open mind for whatever he was about to say. While he waited, he continued to clean himself up a bit, hating how miserable he looked. Although it matched perfectly to the way he felt.
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Posted: Sun Nov 03, 2024 1:18 am
⋮ ۩ ) • • • ❛ 𝙅𝙪𝙙𝙜𝙚, 𝙅𝙪𝙧𝙮 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙀𝙭𝙚𝙘𝙪𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙧.❜Abel held onto Miguel until he pulled away. He released him as he stood there. Abel watched as Miguel moved to grab some tissue and clean off his face. He should have expected it but not so soon. Abel listened as Miguel questioned him. He looked at him curious as he sighed mostly to himself. Abel wanted to play dumb but would it help. ”Why did you say it?” He questioned Miguel wanting to understand his own words. Abel found it only fair though wasn't sure if Miguel would answer him.
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xDarkWinterx Vice Captain
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Pure Acid Dreamer Captain
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Posted: Sun Nov 03, 2024 1:54 am
He could have easily just stayed there, wrapped up in his arms, and not saying anything. He could have ignored him, ignored the topic, pretended that nothing had happened. Too bad his brain was screaming for answers. Why couldn't he love Abel? He could love him, but not the other way around? That wasn't fair. Then again, nothing about this day was fair. Pulling away, Jakob turned to wipe his face. His eyes were dry and he felt more dehydrated than a wilted plant. Glancing his way, he couldn't help asking first. He wanted an answer.
Beside him, he heard Abel sigh. He felt a moment of anger, as if it was some big burden to want to ask him something like this. His follow-up question didn't help matters. However, Jakob didn't want to cause a fight. Swallowing, he went about throwing away the used tissue, and grabbed a bottle of eye drops from behind the mirror. "Maybe because it's true." he said as he opened the bottle. Tossing his head back, Jakob aligned the bottle over one eye and squeezed out a couple of drops. He repeated the process before recapping the bottle, and placing it back in the cabinet. "I mean, aside from Kieran, you're probably the closest person in my life. So why can't what I feel for you be love? It's not like this is the first time that thought has crossed my mind." Closing the mirror, Jakob leaned against the counter as he turned back to Abel, waiting for a response.
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Posted: Sun Nov 03, 2024 2:04 am
⋮ ۩ ) • • • ❛ 𝙅𝙪𝙙𝙜𝙚, 𝙅𝙪𝙧𝙮 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙀𝙭𝙚𝙘𝙪𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙧.❜Abel wasn't bothered by the question. He just wanted to understand. Abel hardly thought his own question was unreasonable. He watched as Miguel moved to grab eye drops from the medicine cabinet. Abel listened as Miguel spoke though it didn't answer his question. He stepped back as Miguel went about adding eye drops to his eyes. Abel waited as Miguel finished. He listened as Miguel spoke, responding again. Still they didn't meet his needs for an answer. Abel watched as Miguel leaned against the counter. ”And yet you never said it before, though I don't blame you…” He responded as he stood there. Abel knew he was hardly deserving of love. He didn't expect it. Abel was still trying to process everything. He moved closer to Miguel. ”I wanted to say I loved you since I watched you leave that day…” Abel responded though was still feeling fragile and apprehensive. He didn't want pain, it was easier to hide from it.
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xDarkWinterx Vice Captain
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Pure Acid Dreamer Captain
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Posted: Sun Nov 03, 2024 2:29 am
That was all he wanted to, to understand. Abel's question might not have been completely unreasonable, but it was rude that he wouldn't answer his first. It annoyed him that he kept doing that rather than give him a simple answer. He didn't think what he was asking was so bad, so why did he have to give answers first. When Jakob spoke, he couldn't help it as some of his attitude started to show. He did his best to reel it in as he put a few drops in his eyes before continuing. Beside him, the man stayed silent while his eyes watched him intently. When he was finished, he leaned against the counter waiting.
Jakob wanted to roll his eyes as Abel called him out for not speaking up sooner. "Oh cut the bullshit. We both know it's because I was with Kieran, then things would get messy a-and...I didn't know what I was feeling back then. I didn't want to admit that I liked spending time with you." he replied. Turning his gaze away, Jakob wondered if the man would believe. Were his words good enough to qualify for whatever standard of love Abel held. Before he could ponder that thought too long, Abel continued. From the corner of his eyes he saw him move closer, and his words gave him pause. It wasn't fair. He had been wanting Abel to say it before he left, had wanted to say it himself but was too much of a coward. "So why didn't you?" he asked.
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Posted: Sun Nov 03, 2024 3:13 am
⋮ ۩ ) • • • ❛ 𝙅𝙪𝙙𝙜𝙚, 𝙅𝙪𝙧𝙮 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙀𝙭𝙚𝙘𝙪𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙧.❜His words weren't meant to upset Miguel. Abel hadn't expected him to get mad at him. He watched as Miguel rolled his eyes as he responded. Abel listened to his words. He understood as they were his thoughts. Abel had pushed others away to protect Kirean. However he only became jealous once he spent time with Miguel. He enjoyed his time with him. Abel didn't want to admit it though. Even now he was unsure of himself. He didn't want to believe things could be better between them. Abel didn't allow himself happiness as it hardly ever occurred without consequences.
He watched as Miguel looked away from him. Abel stepped closer to Miguel, admitting his words and thoughts. He listened as Miguel questioned him, not surprised. ”Because, would it have made a difference?” Abel commented knowing such words wouldn't have held much weight to keep Miguel from leaving.
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xDarkWinterx Vice Captain
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Pure Acid Dreamer Captain
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Posted: Sun Nov 03, 2024 3:39 am
It wasn’t his intention to lash out like, he was simply tired of everyone assuming how he feels. As if he was too stupid to know the difference between platonic and romantic love. Jakob may not have had many relationships, but he did know a thing or two on the matter. He was positive that his feelings for Abel had stopped being of the friendly variety the day he picked him up from the park. It was one of the first times he really started to question if he wanted work things out with Kieran, or move on and try anew with Abel. At the time Jakob had chosen to stay loyal to Kieran while also asking for something else in return.
Turning his gaze from Abel, Jakob heard him speak again as he stepped closer. He was close enough that he could easily reach out and touch him. He held off, instead questioning him in return. He wasn’t surprised by Abel’s next question. Pushing off the counter, he stepped in front of Abel. ”Considering that I wanted to say the same thing that day, I’m going to go with a maybe.” He said honestly. Turning his gaze up, he met Abel’s own to show him that he was being sincere. He didn’t know if such a confession would have completely changed his travel plans. But perhaps they could have tried something long distant, or even the same things that he had been suggesting to Kieran just a few hours earlier.
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Posted: Sun Nov 03, 2024 7:02 am
⋮ ۩ ) • • • ❛ 𝙅𝙪𝙙𝙜𝙚, 𝙅𝙪𝙧𝙮 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙀𝙭𝙚𝙘𝙪𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙧.❜Abel wasn't trying to assume Miguel's feelings. He was merely trying to understand them. Abel hadn't thought Miguel loved him, only assumed in parts that he tolerated him. He knew that their beginning had hardly started out perfect. Abel though had grown to care for Miguel as he helped him sort through his fights with Kirean. He saw himself as mere comfort, a friend. Abel though was wrong and it scared him. He didn't know what to do.
Standing before Miguel, he couldn't help but question him. Abel watched as Miguel stepped closer in front of him. He listened as Miguel spoke, finding his words amusing. ”Maybe…And now knowing such words?” Abel questioned curiously as he watched Miguel. He wasn't sure if the difference mattered now.
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xDarkWinterx Vice Captain
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Pure Acid Dreamer Captain
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Posted: Sun Nov 03, 2024 1:04 pm
No doubt it was not the males' intention to assume his feelings. In this moment however, it felt as though he was doing exactly that. Jakob already knew how things must look from his end. He was already heartbroken from one break-up today. To confess words of love so soon to another was absurd. In that regard, he supposed he couldn't blame Abel for not believing him. Even so, Jakob had been thinking about this a lot, even he didn't understand it at first. Ever since that day Kieran threw him out of his car, he knew that he hadn't been looking at Abel as just his friend. He thought the conversations that had followed after that day proved as much. It certainly seemed enough for Kieran, seeing as he was the one insisting the most that he was in love with Abel.
Taking a step in front of him, Jakob confessed that he had been wanting to say the say. He couldn't say for certain if it would have changed much. It was very likely that he would still be here and Abel would still be there. However, between the two of them, there could have been some change. They could have made plans, visited more, something. Raising his gaze, he did his best to how Abel his sincerity. He wasn't entirely sure he believed him, even now after all that was said. When Abel questioned him again, he didn't know how to answer. He had told Abel quite clearly this morning that he wasn't happy with the way things were between them. "Now? Does that mean you have believe me? Or do I have to say it again, so you won't doubt me this time." he replied, a small smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.
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Posted: Sun Nov 03, 2024 10:22 pm
⋮ ۩ ) • • • ❛ 𝙅𝙪𝙙𝙜𝙚, 𝙅𝙪𝙧𝙮 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙀𝙭𝙚𝙘𝙪𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙧.❜Kirean hadn't been oblivious to Miguel's feelings for Abel. He had known probably before Miguel did. Kirean couldn't make Miguel happy, he never could. He didn't blame Miguel nor Abel for their feelings for each other. Kirean wasn't sure how deep Abel's feelings went for Miguel. He only wished them the best.
Hearing Miguel's words, he believed him. Questioning Miguel, he watched as he stood before him. Abel listened as Miguel spoke, taking note of his teasing tone. He found it amusing. Abel reached out toward Miguel as he ran his hands over his waist. He pushed Miguel back against the counter as he stood before him. ”Mm, I don't think I caught your words correctly before perhaps you need to say them again.” Abel teased as he looked down at Miguel.
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xDarkWinterx Vice Captain
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Pure Acid Dreamer Captain
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Posted: Sun Nov 03, 2024 11:02 pm
Kieran was probably right about his feelings, he usually was. Not only that, but also in the fact that he couldn't make him happy. Jakob didn't know. He was too stubborn and in denial to see that getting back together was a bad idea. He was likely to have his heart broken all over again. Although they had just barely said goodbye to one another, he wasn't ready to admit that they were completely wrong for one another. But deep down, Jakob knew that he was just as guilty when it came to not being able to make Kieran happy. He didn't know how or when his heart had started pulling away and turning towards Abel. He hoped that Kieran would be alright and find himself a better match.
Standing before Abel, Jakob teased the man, wanting him to be more specific. He watched as the male reached out, taking hold of his waist before pushing him back against the counter. His smirk grew as Abel practically demanded that he repeat himself. "Then you better pay attention this time." he teased. Reaching up, he grabbed the males' collar to pull him closer. "I...Love...You...Abel." Playfully, Jakob pushed him back as he moved to lean back against the tiled wall. His cheeks glowed under the warm bathroom light and his smile was almost like a challenge. Daring Abel to make him say a third time.
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Posted: Sun Nov 03, 2024 11:39 pm
⋮ ۩ ) • • • ❛ 𝙅𝙪𝙙𝙜𝙚, 𝙅𝙪𝙧𝙮 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙀𝙭𝙚𝙘𝙪𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣𝙚𝙧.❜Pushing Miguel against the counter, he teased him. Abel couldn't help but want to hear Miguel's words said again now that he wasn't mad at him. He listened as Miguel spoke, teasing him back. Abel held onto Miguel's hips as he stood before him. He watched as Miguel reached out, pulling him closer. Abel listened as Miguel spoke,enunciating every word. He couldn't help but laugh, soon feeling Miguel push him back. Abel released Miguel, watching as he moved to lean against the wall. He took in his smile, a daring one. Abel was content for now with his answers.
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xDarkWinterx Vice Captain
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Pure Acid Dreamer Captain
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Posted: Mon Nov 04, 2024 12:07 am
Leaning against the counter, Jakob was amused by the man's antics. He knew good and well that Abel had heard him earlier, but he would gladly say it again. Pulling him closer, he spoke slowly and clearly, making sure that there was no room was any misunderstandings. When he finished, he playfully pushed him away, his cheeks warming as Abel laughed. Jakob leaned against the wall, feeling a bit better thanks to this little chat. Though now he wondered what was to come of them now. Not wanting to spoil the mood, he instead sat there waiting for a response. Abel wasn't the only one wanting to hear such pretty words.
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