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 Posted: Fri Aug 07, 2009 8:20 pm
Granted.
Your entire left arm is now chocolate, but you lose all appetite for it. It's also so hard, you'd break your teeth before sinking them in. Licking gets minimal flavor.
Someone spots you through your window, and eyes your chocolate arm, and decides to break in, as he's hungry.
The security alarm goes off, and the guy breaks off three of your fingers and flees through the same window. He's hightailing it.
The security team comes, and sees this bizarre situation. They find no evidence for perpetratorous actions, and fine you for a false alarm.
You have to now pay 387 dollars for something that's not even your fault, plus the money to fix that broken window. AND you're still missing three fingers, not to mention, you can't really move this arm with dexterity, it's a block of chocolate. Your shoulder's range of movement is all you have.
The way you arm is trapped in position now looks like you're doing the "Hang loose" hand sign, and you don't even like that hand sign.
You now decide you'll always wear at least one sleeve and glove, to hide the fact you have a chocolate arm and are ashamed to unleashed it to the public eye anymore.
You are severely hindered with this chocolate appendage, and decide it's too clumpy and in the way, and break it completely off. From the shoulder joint, it comes cleanly off, and then blood starts flowing uncontrollably.
You didn't anticipate this, and toss the detached arm aside, running to the bathroom. You look for something to stop the bleeding, a bandage, a bag, string, rope, anything. You manage to find Barney themed bandaids, and gauze pads.
You quickly unsheathe the gauze pads and apply them, but by this time, there's a pool of blood on the floor, and the gauze pads are not helping. In a frantic, yet collected manner, you think of anything, ANYTHING to stop the bleeding.
Something comes to mind. Fire. Burning the wound would seal it, but be incredibly painful. You decide to grab a shirt you don't like, and a lighter, and dash outside.
There's a patch of dirt nearby, and it's perfect for what you have in mind. You light the shirt on fire, it catches fast, and that's good news to you, because you're already feeling lightheaded.
You lower your arm's stub to the fire, albeit slow and hesitantly. You decide the faster the better at that point, and submerge it in the fire. Searing pain shoots from your shoulder across your body, and you want to take it out, but instead, you keep it there.
The bleeding slows, and you breathe heavily, taking big gulps of oxygen into your lungs. You cower on the ground, shedding tears from the pain and remorse of regret.
Your arm's stub becomes black with burns, but the bleeding stops. You roll over, only once because your stub is smoking, and in a hell of a world of pain at the moment, onto grass, and breathe fast, eyesight getting very hazy from the lack of blood in your body.
The fire dies out, reducing the shirt to ash, and you fall unconscious. You are out until nighttime, and thus, wake in a panic. Everything is dark at first, but your eyes adjust and take in what little light they can.
You recall what happened, looking at your arm's nub, and sigh. What a painful wish. Was it worth it all?
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Posted: Sat Aug 08, 2009 8:51 am
D:
Holy ******** I actually read all of that ;_;
Thanks for crushing my hopes and dreams ;D
-stares at Hershey bar- Y-your going to scar me for life!
No wish?
Fine, granted, but you start gushing blood from every orifice because you made Ishy's brain melt!
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Posted: Sat Aug 08, 2009 9:04 pm
You lack the ability to wish, so the Grim Reaper, Boyd, kills you while you sleep.
I wish for the ability to charm whoever I want.
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Posted: Sat Aug 08, 2009 9:31 pm
The charm causes them to follow you around and sing badly for hours on end.
I wish that I would ace all of my college classes.
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Posted: Sat Aug 08, 2009 10:48 pm
You pass all of your classes with the highest grades. However, you can never find an employer.
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Posted: Sun Aug 09, 2009 11:33 am
Your charm attracts unattractive men and women, and they stalk you for the rest of your natural life.
I wish I was wealthly and powerful.
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Posted: Sun Aug 09, 2009 11:38 am
Granted but your wealth and power are stolen by hobos (THAT'S RIGHT HEATH I'M TALKING ABOUT YOU!) and people scrabbling around in poverty. I wish I had a pencil.
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Posted: Sun Aug 09, 2009 11:55 am
Granted, however, the pencil is in your eye.
I wish I was a fish.
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Posted: Sun Aug 09, 2009 3:56 pm
Granted. But a fisherman catches you and has you for dinner twisted
I wish I was a magician.
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Posted: Sun Aug 09, 2009 4:16 pm
granted. you now have powers over sponges and anything sponge related
i wish i had a cupcake
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Posted: Mon Aug 10, 2009 6:42 pm
Granted, but I stole it and ate it.
I wish I had the power to make wishes that couldn't be corrupted in any way.
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Posted: Tue Aug 11, 2009 10:52 am
...Oh, that's right, I got so riled up in crushing the wish that... I forgot to wish myself. Sorry about that.
Granted. You wish for things that suit your fancy. For a while, it's really great. Then you get bored of it, and start to think of wishing for something that would end up in horrible circumstances, but you can just wish it away in the end.
You wish for a dirtbike, and it comes to you, but you have no experience riding a dirtbike. Rather than wishing to be a pro, you're cocky enough to sit your a** down on the thing, start it, and think "This can't be too hard." At first, you do small stuff, ramping off curbs and burning out. It's really fun for you.
You then spot a ramp that's meant to big semi trucks to use to unload heavy goods from the cargo area and decide you must ramp it. There's a road, but it's far enough so a semi can sit by the ramp and not be in the road. Besides, it's hardly used. You check for traffic, and no one's coming.
You go back over to the ramp, about 50 feet away so you can get some good speed in, and then go for it. A car passes, but you don't expect another one. You get close enough to where you can't stop in time, and continue off the ramp.
You're floating in the air. Woohoo, right? Yep! You get 4 seconds of air time, because you and your bike are light, but when you land, it's just shy of the street. You can't stop, so you turn to get on the street and spin out, grinding your leg on the pavement and getting road rash. The bike rolls off of you and soon stops, idling. You get up, getting shot with pain. You can walk it off, it's not bad. You wish the pain away, and the scratches off your bike. You pick it up, decide it was well worth it, and speed home, enjoying the acceleration.
You're about to open your door when you find someone else is knocking on it from the other side. You blink a few times, and realize that you've been sleeping this entire time, and your mom is yelling at you to get your fat a** up and go to school.
I wish good luck for my next project.
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Posted: Tue Aug 11, 2009 3:52 pm
Granted, but it will be worth next to nothing.
I wish I had a perfect life that wasn't a dream.
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Posted: Fri Aug 14, 2009 10:23 pm
Trying to bend my corrupted rulings, eh?
Your life is perfect. You're so perfect that everyone marvels at your feet.
You have nice cars, vast amounts of money, vast amounts of women, the looks, nice hair, you even have a beautiful garden.
Ladies just want to sex you up.
You life your life in sanctity, free to do as you please.
You eat what you want. Drink what you want. s**t where you want. Hell, you even have the eloquent powers to convince someone that you didn't kill someone when they were an eyewitness. People give you free kickass stuff.
Then the doctor visits and tells you that you only have one more year of life.
You've only reached the age of 25. With a panic, you wonder what you can do.
You feel so down, and all your women try to comfort you, but they're pushy and annoying. So they disburse. You are alone, the only one there is is your mind. Thoughts and broadcasted through your head like a television program.
You could commit suicide. Nah, too common.
You could try to find a cure. Nah, too easy and if it did exist, the doctor would have given it up. After all, you are perfect.
You could give all your money to charity and be a grand help to society. No, you're an a*****e, you keep your money.
You can travel the world. Yes!
You embark out to somewhere you've always wanted to go, Japan! The plane ride is kind of boring, but it's worth it.
You get there, and it's bustling. Thankfully for you, you're perfect, and multilingual. You tour the town, and see a lot of porn because you visit EVERY porn shop there. You get an idea. Why not rape a few girls? It's said to be commonplace, and you're going to die anyway. Besides, girls would BRAG about you!
You find a 15 girl that seems to be perfect, so you kidnap her. You make her understand, with some force, and take her into secluded part of the wood. You rape her three times. After that, you find that it's a really good exercise. It's the first time doing a girl of that age, and your senses are overwhelmed.
All the power you're entitled to is going to your head. You stop thinking clearly. You find another girl, and rape her, this one two years younger. Obviously, there's a bit question of morals within normal people, but you're going insane out of how it's warping your senses around the wicked sensations.
You leave Japan after doing this a few more times, raping the same age group. You figure "They'll have my kid, their kids will be perfect like me!"
Ending up in China, you do the same routine, this time skipping the touring and going straight to the raping. It's good for you, since you're now so sinister.
You then hit Russia. Saudi Arabia. Belgium. Egypt. France. London. You're bouncing around there, for a bit, and the law is taking notice. You're not stopping.
You go down to South America and have a little fun doing your routine of raping and impregnation. You go back to North America, where you started, and do the same exact thing.
The law knows you're coming, though. They don't know WHERE, but the first report they get...
You hit the East coast, then West coast. On the West coast, you find an all-girls school of what you're looking for. The cops are staking it out after you've secured the building from the inside so they can't come in.
You rape every last girl in there, including the younger teachers. The older ones (30 and over), get kicked out, and each girl you finish with gets sent out with them.
After you finish with the last one, you send her out and then see just what's happening.
You're surrounded, and they've planted explosives all around the school. You do ANYTHING, you're going to die. An attempt is made to wait it out, but they stick to their plan, so you have no further options. Neither do they. They trigger every explosive they have, bringing down the school and you with it.
The doctor that told you you were bound to die in another year was ******** with you. Your life span was set to age gracefully and at least to 97.
I wish monetary parts of my life were not a problem.
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Posted: Sat Aug 15, 2009 10:49 am
Granted. Sadly you whole life is now a problem.
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