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Godfrey Potter-Lockhart Crew
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 Posted: Wed Feb 17, 2010 7:47 pm
*Hits Naz with a newspaper*
You don't suck.
YOU SWALLOOO- *Gets cut off by hitting self in the head with a book*
.... you dont' suck. emo
*Hugs* You just go relax, Naz. Just don't do anything naughty that'd get you a spanking and you'll be alright. smile
........ I've had dreams like that and weird dreams involving all you guys before. O_o So, yeah. Just never cared to share them.
I remember Mike and I were doing something in one dream... like traveling through space or whatever.
I think I've had 'other' dreams but I don't really remember... I don't have them very often, involving anyone.... hm...
But still, Janine. STILL. You kinky b*****d. razz
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Posted: Wed Feb 17, 2010 7:54 pm
Also sexually pleasing someone in a dream could mean many things. First it could mean you just want to please her- but it has nothing to do with sex. Like you want to make both Kitty and Naz happy because you feel like you've been away too much or something.
Also you could feel, in real life, that they are a dominating force and enjoy that, and your mind was playing that out in a sexy kind of way. O_o Ummm...
All good stuff though, not bad things.
I've had weird... weird dreams that have disturbed me greatly and I had to look up on the internet to make sure I wasn't ******** insane. So, yeah.
Mostly it has to do with 'pleasing' (non sexually) someone or helping them out or wanting them to..... feel better. You want to make them feel better.
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Godfrey Potter-Lockhart Crew
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Posted: Wed Feb 17, 2010 8:04 pm
*Is hit with newspaper* Mroaw~ Please, mistress, can I have another? wink
LAWL.
I have a lot of sex-related dreams. Bad ones but mostly good ones, and mostly from characters' points of view.
Space~ lawl. Were you in a rocket or just kinda swimming among the stars?
And regarding the dream hypothesizes - your proposed reasoning makes sense, Cassy. I know in many cases that is probably the justification for mine (both the pleasing thing and the level of domination interpretation.)
I've had dreams about having sex with family members and the former is probably why. Though I've got issues with, uh, lusting after my mother. Yeah we all know I'm nuts.
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Posted: Wed Feb 17, 2010 8:22 pm
No, you're not nuts. That's what my dreams were too. Usually me trying really hard to sexually please my mother with oral sex, or rubbing, or with a d***o once..... every time I was determined but somewhat detached from the experience and she was nothing like herself in the dream, in the dreams she was always doing drugs or drunk or was sober and was really mean and I always was left with a feeling of being a disappointment no matter how hard I tried.
And you probably have an idea of how hard it was for me to tell you this just now. I always felt so uncomfortable waking up after one of those. (I can remember at least 4) It feels like something really shameful and bad and like I'm sick inside, like a festering disease.
Which is why I had to look it up on the internet very thoroughly.
I have lots of dreams where I'm Godfrey or Harry. Most of my dreams involve one of them, or... just crazy things. I'll have to write down the next one I can remember. XD
I feel like you and Kat are sort of a dominating force... kind of like aaaah.... and I feel awkward saying this too but... kind of like 'Big Sisters are watching over everything'
O_o Even though I'm the oldest. I've always seen myself as younger than all of you.
--------
And we were in a flying saucer. :3 There might have been some Kingdom Hearts in it, might have been a gummi ship. Yeah. ^_^
--------
Yeah I hardly have sex dreams at all, which kind of annoys me.
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Godfrey Potter-Lockhart Crew
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Posted: Wed Feb 17, 2010 8:53 pm
In worldly experience, I think we're the Big Sisters. Not that we're better than anyone else in the guild, but we're farther along as far as 'grown up' things go I guess. Jobs, mortgage, car, sex, etc. It doesn't make us any more intelligent or mature, just.. experienced.
I'm weird in that I'm prone to think of everyone -- strangers, co-workers, family, friends -- in a sexual light at one time or another. It's almost an obsession. Perhaps my concept of sexual boundaries was skewed by being raped, and since my own sexuality was stripped bare by David, I mentally strip others of their sexual sanctity because it makes me more comfortable. Even now I feel like I'm naked all the time sometimes, like a peeled orange; I can't cover up what happened to me, and it's like I'm exposed to everyone -- I think that's why I flirt so much and talk about sex incessantly with others, it's like a barrier. A game of power. 'Here let me dominate any sexual aspect of this conversation FIRST so you can't later.'
I've always had bizarre feelings for my mother; I think it goes deeper than troubled dreams though, because even awake sometimes I feel it, and rather than being based in more pure feelings of wanting to please her, it's more like wanting to have her. I've seen her make really stupid mistakes and get hurt over and over, so maybe it's a skewed desire to keep her safe and happy? The fact that she has amazing breasts doesn't help much either... Ha, a joke to try and lessen my freakishness XD But she's abandoned me many times, so maybe it's also a desire to keep her from leaving me again.
And it's like having this weight; like you're wearing this horrible, dirty undershirt under your regular clothes, and you feel guilty and you're desperate not to let someone else see it. And even when you know WHY you feel that way and why the dreams came in the first place, it's still hard to wash that guilt away.
But it's so common.. and thank God we're as mature and intelligent as we are. Imagine some of our peers less mentally fortunate than us, struggling to make sense of such feelings and dreams. Not everyone is as smart as to research it online, and my heart aches for kids like that, like my little brother. He'll just never.. understand aspects of himself like that. He hasn't got the reasoning power.
Human relationships and the emotions we share can be very complex and confusing, man. It helps to have good friends to talk to about it, especially since I think we can all agree that no one here's gonna judge anyone.
...Kat just fell asleep with her mouth wide open, sitting up in the chair. Oh God, I love her more than life itself.
This subject is intense but it's good to talk about it. I might strike it up again tomorrow, but it's late now. I'll talk to you tomorrow, love.
Sweet and peaceful dreams, Cassy. I am so blessed to have met you.
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Posted: Wed Feb 17, 2010 9:44 pm
<3 I love all you guys. N'm tired too so I don't have much more to say. XD
Y'all just make me happier than... anything else. Like... you guys are #1, sleeping is #2, and chocolate and/or pizza is #3
But I really am glad that we do have the mindpowers to now understand and analyze this- even if we still have the icky feelings associated with it. S'society's fault, really. With their mental compulsion/the way we've been raised, some things are just deemed by the whole to be inherently wrong...
Well I like your crazy TMI stories, even if they are a coping mechanism. O_o And you can imagine me nekkid if you want.... though you probably already have...... rofl
My wellness teacher told us a story today about exitrensism or something and insitrism and stuff, she related how she was sexually abused as a child to how she lives her life- she doesn't follow the rules because she believes the only one who can protect her is herself, and it took a long time for her to be able to even trust her fiance and allow him to protect her at times. The revelation came about because she'd never wear a seatbelt and he'd always worry and they'd argue about that. O_o Odd, the things sometimes.
I dunno, I think society puts too much on incest as being a taboo. You never really know who you'll be attracted to or what part of someone or what..... O_o
You do a good job reasoning with yourself though. x3
It makes me feel like I'm acting superior sometimes but I really do feel bad for people who haven't... started opening their thinking yet, and maybe never will. :/ Most people are so scared to even talk about it, not knowing if they have someone to trust enough not to spread it around...
:3 We were very fortunate to make friends with each other. If there's something I'll thank any kind of a God or fate or whatever for, that's it. ^_^
And the sky and stuff. cuz I like the sky.
....x3 Hope you snuck up on Kat and gave her a kissssss of adorableness. Haha. ^_^
<3 I only hope I can find someone someday like you guys and Janine and Mike have. Sooooomeedaaayyyyy.
Either that or I'm just going to go on a random crazy BJ spree because being in college is making me all hormonal and I start having random fantasies about giving BJs to pretty much anyone, anywhere, at any time.
Seriously. Seriously seriously. XD
K, wrote more stuff, now g'night. Sleeepyyyyy.. zzzz
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Godfrey Potter-Lockhart Crew
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Posted: Thu Feb 18, 2010 4:30 am
Nazzzzzzz, you don't suck! heart
Cass, I can definitely see that pleasing thing coming into play. Especially considering that I have a really bad habit of always feeling inadequate. That's been doubled lately because I haven't been able to roleplay often and because of how shitty of a mod I am here because I still haven't even uploaded my finished mod card. xp In truth, I always get afraid that one day you guys will just tell me to gtfo and I won't have a reason to go on Gaia anymore. *fret fret*
Though i wonder if that dream has added meaning if I add in that Darrell was yelling at me over the phone, telling me that the only reason they were doing this to me was because they hated me, because they didn't love me like he loves me, and I kept trying to tell him that we weren't that way, that we weren't trying to force roles or anything, we were just having fun, but he wouldn't listen and he kept yelling at me . . .
I've only had one sexual dream regarding my mother, and it was one where she quietly forced me onto a train, and then drove me to a secluded cottage. The sexual aspect of it was that I was wearing a short skirt and no underwear and could feel her dominating me but not actually touching me. It was weird.
I understand the dirty undershirt analogy, Jess. Though, I cope with my childhood sexual abuse in a different way. I feel constantly lower than everyone else. I would never dare mention sexuality unless it was as a joke. I just think everyone would laugh at me, tell me that I am dirty or not even worth talking to anymore. When someone knows, I feel like they have power over me and I don't really like that. So unless we're just joking around and being stupid teenagers and the conversation really has nothing to do with my sexuality, I don't speak about it.
Awww, you and Kitty are so cuuuuute. We have so many good irl OTPs here. cool
I SECOND WHAT CASSY SAID, MY NAKED SELF IS YOURS TO IMAGINE. Now that I'm 18. ;P
BJs are fun to give, Cassy. I like giving them to Darrell, even though I thought I shouldn't like it 'cause my grandpa orally raped me, but it's fun in my opinion. *nodnod*
MAYBE ANOTHER REASON I HAD THAT DREAM IS BECAUSE I REALLY WANT DARRELL TO GIVE ME ORAL, DAMNIT. He didn't the last time we were together because we didn't have time. D< Also, I've always wanted to give a chick oral. Vaginas = awesome.
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Posted: Thu Feb 18, 2010 8:12 am
Kat and I watched a program on BBC about incest and the couples having children. This one brother and sister.. they ******** broke my heart. He kept getting chucked in jail and she kept losing her kids to the government. Finally she couldn't take the stress anymore, and left him for a normal boyfriend while he was still in jail. With how much he adored her... I'm certain it completely destroyed him. I wanted to know why they didn't leave the country, or try hiding the fact, but when I think about Kat and I, I realize I couldn't do either of those either, not when it feels so damn natural to me, and not when I love my country and wouldn't have the money to just up and leave.
I had always thought we as a society reacted a little too crazy to incest, but it wasn't until I saw the way that brother casually pet his sister's hair that I realized I felt that it wasn't wrong.
There are two incest babies in the guild right now between Kat and I's characters. One from father/daughter, and one from brother/sister. The incest storylines are all dark and serious and secret, I guess as my way to reason through my feelings on the subject, since for so long I've been so violently against it in real life.
*Nods* Everyone deals with rape differently, and it's interesting to hear about how others cope and eventually rise above aspects of the after-affects. I still have lots of problems, but I'm thankful to be better off than some as far as dealing with it.
*Loves on everyone* I'm going bowling tomorrow with some friends from work, but the last time I went, I couldn't help but think that it'd be loads more fun with y'all instead. Real life friends are neat-o, but.. I don't know, I connect with you guys so much easier than my co-workers.
And you will most assuredly find someone, Cassy. I know it's all cliche and stuff to say that, but I truly, deeply mean it. Know that even if you have to wait a little bit, it's cos the perfect person for you isn't ready yet. Hell, my mother only recently found someone I have this strong feeling is perfect for her, and I know it was because right now was the perfect time for them to be together. She wasn't ready before.
IT MUST BE NOTED, HOWEVER, THAT p***y > d**k AND EATING A WOMAN OUT IS 100 MILLION TIMES BETTER THAN BLOWING A DUDE.
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Posted: Thu Feb 18, 2010 8:17 am
And you guys have until tomorrow evening to post s**t for this bi-weekly community challenge before it changes, so get a move on. scream
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Posted: Thu Feb 18, 2010 9:08 am
I'll probably churn out a couple of things tonight so you don't think you've always got to bribe us to get us to write for the Community challenge. xD
... I think I'm really going to get started on a character profile thread though, one character per post. 3nodding
*Hugs Janine*
Naw, we'd never get rid of you. :3 Some people are so awesome they just deserve the title itself. (Like Muah) And you've done a lot of stuff for the guild, so razz .
O_o Dream with yelling sounds like insecurities.
AND YOU TELL DARREL TO GET WITH THE PROGRAM. GEEZE. D<
-----------------
I don't really think there's anything wrong with incest as long as they're old enough when they get really serious/the relationship isn't coerced and they think very carefully about what could happen if they had kids. O_o
*COUGHCOUGH* Phoenix/Cillian, anyone? O_o *Huggles it* XD Theirs was just secret because Phee had darker sekrets. :O
But yaaaay, incestbabies. Yay roleplaying. ^_^
*Rolls around in a carpet with everyone*
Have fun bowling! And you would seriously not want me around a 10+ pound ball of something I have to fling somewhere because even though you don't have balls I have the amazing ability to turn heavy objects into a crotch and/or face magnet. :3
<3 Yeah.... I know I'll find someone someday but s'hard waiting for that time or wondering and stuff. Pfffff...........
<3 <3 <3 I'm glad your Mom's found a great guy to be with! ^_^ That's so awesome!!!!!!!!!!! I remember you posted about that on facebook. or.. here.. somewhere anyways.
.............. and I'll take your word on the last thing, Naz. O_o Your word.
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Godfrey Potter-Lockhart Crew
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Posted: Thu Feb 18, 2010 11:58 am
There was a Criminal Minds episode regarding this brother and sister who were in love! It was really sad. *is obsessed with Criminal Minds*
I SECOND WHAT JESS SAID ABOUT ORAL.
@Cass:
That'd be fun. I still keep wondering about whether or not I remember all my character accounts. xD
YAYYY~ *hugs back*
Guys. Today, my friend Valerie told me she had a present for me. It was a paper bag. She told me to open it slowly. I opened it. Guess what was inside?
It was full of colored condoms. WTF.
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Posted: Thu Feb 18, 2010 4:09 pm
Pffft, this is so dumb. I got a lucky envelope on most of my accounts, sold all but 4 for about 13k (10 for the first, but then I got smarterrr) and now all my characters can have moneys for clothes!
I RECOMMEND DOING THIS QUICKLY BEFORE PEOLE GET SMART. KEEP A FEW PAIRS AND SELL THE REST FOR ABOUT 12k!
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Godfrey Potter-Lockhart Crew
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Posted: Thu Feb 18, 2010 6:42 pm
I managed to sell a pair of Radio Jack slippers for 18k earlier because I caught on before it dropped. I only got one pair out though, damn people.
Awesome way to make quick gold, though.
My night has been way harder than it should be. I'm making more icons and listening to music now to try and chill.
All this talk of gender and emotional crap tonight...makes me want to just drop a s**t ton of weight, re-dye my hair black and bind and pack and just be ******** Reg for forever.
Even if boys are terribly stupid. I hate how emotionally vulnerable my feminine side leaves me.
I wish Jess were home right now. cry
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Posted: Thu Feb 18, 2010 9:26 pm
*Hugs kitty*
I wish I'd been on earlier to keep you company, but hopefully Naz is home by now.
D: Don't we all just want to drop a shitton of weight. Except Mike who's a skinny little b*****d who we shall crush between our arms.
v_v Sometimes when I'm really sad at school or anywhere, I pretend I have a tail and that I can hug it to myself and I can feel better so I don't need to go through all the stuff of finding someone I can cuddle with. I wish I had a younger brother a lot too....
You would be cute as Reg and I don't doubt at all that you're Reg-like IRL but turning yourself completely into the character wouldn't be good because... you're lovely just as you are, Kitty. :3
Awww, more emotional stuff. XD
Friggin emotional feminine sides. Just remember though, people born with the penises have them too, they all do. <3
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Godfrey Potter-Lockhart Crew
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Posted: Fri Feb 19, 2010 4:32 am
I don't even know what you guys are talking about. heart *never does Gaia stuff aside from the guild*
Awww, Kitty . . . I'm sorry no one was here to keep you company last night *hug*
Girls rock though. *nodnod* Guys are just as vulnerable at times as well.
Is it weird that I don't want to drop a lot of weight? I mean sure it'd make things a lot easier, but I kinda like being my size. The only reason I'd do it is to make more sex positions possible but I kinda like the way I am. I've been reading a lot of really great fatshionista blogs. I've found really cute clothing (like this) to wear in my size. I feel cute and I have someone who loves me. I'm healthy-- I have a good blood pressure and cholesterol level. I'm not really pressed for losing weight but I wouldn't mind if I did.
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